


Amor Vincit Omnia (Love Conquers All Things)

by Only_theangel



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction, liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Football, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bottom Harry Styles, Childhood Friends, Decisions, Endgame Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Established Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Eventual Smut, Famous Louis Tomlinson, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Football Player Niall Horan, Football | Soccer Player Louis Tomlinson, Friends to Lovers, Harry is Clueless, Kid Fic, Liam Payne & Harry Styles Friendship, Louis Tomlinson Calls Harry Styles Pet Names, Louis Tomlinson is a Little Shit, Louis is an ass sometimes, M/M, Manipulation, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Minor Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Mutual Pining, Mystery, Mystery Character(s), Niall Horan & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, Niall horan soccer player, POV Alternating, Past Sexual Assault, Photography, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Smut, Swearing, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Louis Tomlinson, Toxic Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, Unrequited Love, Violence, Wet Dream, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, asshole from high school, why is that not a tag, ziam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 124,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28883658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_theangel/pseuds/Only_theangel
Summary: “Fine. I’ll make you a deal.” He mumbles, digging in his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. This gets Harry’s attention, causing him to raise an eyebrow. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell Louis who he’s going on a date with, because he does. He hates keeping secrets from his best friend, absolutely hates it.“If you show me who he is, I won’t say anything. Ever. For as long as you are seeing him, I won’t comment on him.” Louis says, bringing his cigarette up to his lips. Harry watches carefully as Louis’s lighter flame catches on the end of the stick. Louis inhales a long, shaky breath, his eyes closing.___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Louis is a famous football player in Doncaster, Harry is his photographer best friend. Their friendship has been solid for 19 years, but will the friendship survive when Harry gets pregnant by his dodgy boyfriend?Trailer for fic: https://youtu.be/99r2-K-ulE
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 181
Kudos: 208





	1. Chapter 1: Amicitia

**Author's Note:**

> Songs for this chapter are: 
> 
> \- Coffee Cups and Cigarettes/ Tomo
> 
> \- If You Love Her (acoustic)/ Forest Blakk
> 
> \- Green Light/ Lorde

Chapter 1: Amicitia

July 15

“Come on, H, just tell me who it is!” Louis nags, bits of his coffee cake spewing out of his mouth and onto the table that he and Harry shared. Harry rolls his eyes, dusting the crumbs off of his pants. It’s a fairly warm day in England, which is perfect for Louis and Harry’s weekly breakfast date.

They’re sitting outside of their favorite cafe, sheltered under a small umbrella. The table is a glass one, which happens to make Louis nervous because he knows how clumsy Harry can be with his ridiculously long legs. One wrong step and Harry could have this whole table shattering on the sidewalk beneath it.

Louis leans back in his seat, spreading his legs so that his knees clash with Harry’s boney ones. “No, I’m not going to tell you,” Harry repeats. He’s not even sure why he told his best friend, really. It’s just a stupid date, he knows Louis will make fun of the poor bloke as soon as he sees him.

Louis always has a way of pointing out the undesirable traits in Harry’s dates, it’s almost a talent. Like that time in secondary school when Harry brought an old friend with him to his and Louis’ scheduled movie night. The whole night, Louis sat and texted Harry, asking why he brought someone whose feet stunk like 3-day old cheese.

Harry hadn’t thought the guy's feet stunk at all.

“Why not?” Louis argues, mid-yawn.

Harry rakes his eyes over Louis’s appearance, taking in his scraggly fringe on his forehead, noticing how the bags under his eyes are more prominent than usual, and how the sheets on his king-sized bed have left marks on his cheeks.

“Because you always find something wrong with my dates. In school, you would tease me so bad about who I liked that I eventually started introducing you to them after I’d gone on at least 2 dates with them. Then that stopped working because after I let them meet you, I couldn’t get your stupid remarks out of my head. I’d spend the rest of our dates staring at the moles you just had to point out or the way they let spit form in the corner of their mouths or-“

Louis chuckles, shaking his head. He really can’t blame Harry for not wanting to tell him about his date. Louis just can’t help that no one seems to be good enough for his best mate. Louis knows Harry tends to befriend people who don’t deserve it. It’s not his fault, he just prefers to see the good in people and ignore the bad.

“Fine. I’ll make you a deal.” He mumbles, digging in his pockets for his pack of cigarettes. This gets Harry’s attention, causing him to raise an eyebrow. It’s not that he doesn’t want to tell Louis who he’s going on a date with, because he does. He hates keeping secrets from his best friend, absolutely hates it.

“If you show me who he is, I won’t say anything. Ever. For as long as you are seeing him, I won’t comment on him.” Louis says, bringing his cigarette up to his lips. Harry watches carefully as Louis’s lighter flame catches on the end of the stick. Louis inhales a long, shaky breath, his eyes closing.

Harry tears his eyes away from his friend, dropping his hands to his black skinny jeans and pulling the fabric away from his thighs. He isn’t sure why he opted for skinny jeans in the dead of July, but it made sense when he climbed out of bed and his flat was freezing cold. Now, he regrets it, because the fabric is clinging to his skin.

“I don’t know, you won’t keep the deal,” Harry mutters, squinting his eyes under his black sunglasses. Louis chuckles, nodding his head. Soon after, Louis sits up straight, clearing his voice.

“I, Louis Tomlinson, vow to keep my mouth shut about Harry Styles’s date for as long as he’s seeing him. If I break this vow, I will let Harry Styles drive my precious Range. Rover.” Louis announces, punctuating the last words with a click of the tongue.

Harry’s eyes widen. Louis will let Harry drive his Range Rover? No way. Harry’s been begging Louis to let him drive it ever since he got it.

That was two years ago when Louis first signed on with the Doncaster Rovers. Harry remembers being so proud of Louis that day. He’d been right by Louis’s side, ever since they met on the youth football team their mothers had enrolled them in.

Harry’s mother had enrolled him in hopes that her shy, clumsy 4-year old would become graceful and social. Louis’s mother had enrolled him as soon as she saw the 6-year-old kick a paper ball into the knocked over trash bin in the kitchen.

Harry had been beside Louis at every game, even after Harry ditched football and tried to learn other skills.

“Fine. I’ll show you.” Harry agrees, much to Louis’s delight. He’s quite excited to see what wanker Harry’s picked out for this date.

Louis wraps his small hand around his coffee cup, bringing it to his lips and feeling as the warmth coats his throat. He really shouldn’t have caffeine before practice, but he hadn’t slept at all last night. Louis is going into his 3rd year of playing for the Rover’s, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t nervous for the season to start.

They have less than 2 months before the beginning of the season and Louis doesn’t feel prepared. Their rival team, Sheffield United, has just got one of the best players, Billy Sharp. Louis was hoping to get him on his team, but the team wasn’t prepared to pay Billy the salary he demanded.

Now, Louis has to play against Billy, knowing exactly what he’s up against, and he isn’t sure if he can withstand Billy’s talents.

Harry interrupts Louis, pushing his phone in his face. “He’s a great guy, really. He’s really funny, he loves Friends. I think…”

Louis’s eyes scan over the phone, biting his lip as he physically has to restrict himself from making a joke about the man. He isn’t bad-looking, per se, but… Harry could do better. Harry is gorgeous, he’s funny, he’s interesting, he’s caring… Louis has never understood why Harry settles for men way out of his league, but Louis made a deal and he isn’t keen on watching his Range Rover being crashed into a wall.

“… Our date is tomorrow night, he’s taking me to The Man Behind the Curtain. That reminds me, we’ll have to cancel the movie night tomorrow, I don’t think I’ll be coming back to the flat.” Harry continues.

Louis’s eyes drop down to the bottom of the screen, where he focuses on one word.

Tinder.

Tinder? Harry can’t be serious.

“H, Tinder? You’re meeting up with someone from Tinder?” Louis asks, his voice impossibly high and squeaky. The only guys that are on Tinder are guys that want a simple fuck, those aren’t guys Harry should be going after.

No, Harry should be meeting men in bookstores or coffee shops, like this one. Harry has no business meeting up with a stranger from the internet who will most definitely skimp out on the dinner part and go straight to having his tongue down Harry’s throat.

Harry raises his eyebrow, tutting and shaking his head. “Deal.” He reminds Louis, causing Louis to sigh and lean back in his chair.

Why did he make that stupid deal? Louis is Harry’s best friend, Harry should want Louis’s opinion. He should be thankful that Louis tries to look after him and make sure he doesn’t get hurt.

Louis thinks back to the time Harry brought his date to their movie night in secondary school. Louis had recognized the guy from the movie theater he worked at on the weekends. Just the night before, the guy was with another guy at the movies, holding hands and kissing.

Louis didn’t want to hurt Harry, so he just spent the whole night lying about how the guy’s feet stunk and how he couldn’t stand the way he ate popcorn.

It also might have done something with the fact that Louis was helplessly in love with Harry from the age of 16-18, but Louis would never admit that. Louis tells himself that he only had a crush on Harry because he was the first guy he was attracted to.

Louis never realized he was gay until the night in his bedroom when a girl was choking on Louis’s cock and all he could think about was how much he’d rather have Harry’s lips on him. Louis didn’t tell Harry, of course not.

It’s not because he thought Harry wouldn’t be supportive, because Louis knew Harry was gay. Louis knew he’d be supportive, just like Louis was supportive when Harry came out to him.

Louis just didn’t want Harry to know that he was completely enamored by the curly-headed boy.

No, Louis never officially came out to Harry. Harry just happened to stumble across a tab full of gay porn on Louis’s laptop one night when they were studying together. Harry didn’t bring it up, but Louis knew he had seen it.

And of course, Harry knows about Louis’s flings and one night stands. It would be hard to hide from his best friend, so he doesn’t try to. He just… Doesn’t talk about it.

“Right. I’m not saying anything,” Louis mutters, feeling as his phone buzzes in his shorts. It’s probably Niall, Louis’s teammate and best friend from Uni. Niall is the only person Louis hangs out with, besides Harry. He doesn’t have time, between practice and movie nights with Harry, but he likes it that way.

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but Louis stands up from his chair instead. It’s nearing 9 am, meaning Louis has to make his way to practice or Niall will send the police out for him. Louis has never missed a practice, he’s never even been late. Football is important to him, he takes it very seriously.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you tomorrow night, yeah?” Louis asks, digging in his pockets for money to leave a tip. Harry always nags him about getting a wallet, but Louis hates how clunky some wallets are. Harry can’t stand how Louis’s notes always look crumpled and wrinkled, but Louis doesn’t mind.

Harry stands up, pushing his chair under the table. “Told you, I won’t be back home tomorrow night.” He repeats. It’s been way too long since Harry’s gone on a date and he wants to take full advantage of this one. There’s nothing wrong with a grown man sleeping over on the first date, despite what Louis’s face is saying.

Louis scrunches his nose up, walking toward his precious car. Harry follows quickly behind, eyeing his much older and junkier car.

“You’re going to let him fuck you on the first date?” Louis asks, disapproval laced in his voice. Louis has always been open about his opinions, he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Especially not Harry, he’s been around long enough to know that it’s just how Louis is.

Louis shouldn’t even be commenting on Harry’s decisions, considering that he hooks up with a new guy every time they win a match, which happens to be very often. He just wants more for Harry… Harry deserves more.

Harry makes his way over to his car, opening the door and leaning against it, watching Louis copy his movements. “I am, as a matter of fact. I’m going to let him fuck me soooo good that I’m sore for-“

Louis groans, rolling his eyes. “Alright, alright, H. I get it. I’ll find something else to do tomorrow night. Don’t worry about me.” Louis mumbles, getting into his car. He waits until Harry laughs and waves goodbye before closing his door.

_

“You should’ve seen the guy, he looks like a proper dick. I know his type, I’ve been with his type before. He's taking him to the Man Behind the Curtain, he's obviously trying to show his money.” Louis says, pulling his jersey over his head. It’s soaked with sweat and grass stains, Louis will have to wash it twice before it looks clean again.

Football practice was rough. Louis’s coach was convinced that Louis was switched out with someone else overnight. He kept barking down Louis’s throat, saying that Louis wasn’t playing like Louis, he wasn’t focused, his head was somewhere else.

Louis didn’t know what to say, so he just ignored it and kept playing. He couldn’t very well say that he’s upset that his best friend is going to be fucking someone tomorrow night instead of curling up on the couch with him while they watch their favorite movie.

Niall laughs and shakes his head, stuffing his dirty football uniform in his bag. He’s standing in his black briefs, his hair messy, his face covered in sweat. If it wasn’t Niall, Louis would have him down on his knees, begging for him.

“That’s why you were rubbish today? Because you’re jealous?” Niall asks. Louis hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his shorts, pulling them down his legs. His legs are covered in grass stains, much like his jersey.

“No, Niall, I’m not jealous. I’m… A concerned best friend, that’s all. Harry could be meeting up with a killer. What if he takes him out for dinner, takes him back to his flat, ties him to the bed… Harry will think he’s getting a really kinky lay, but in reality, the guy’s going in his kitchen to get a knife to kill Harry with.” Louis defends, rummaging through his locker to get his extra clothes. It’s Louis and Niall’s tradition to go to the pub after practice on Friday’s, so he’s gotten in the habit of bringing extra clothes.

Niall sits on the bench, rolling his jeans up to his legs. He furrows his eyebrows, lifting his head to see Louis. “Why waste money on taking Harry out to dinner if he’s just going to kill him? I mean, that’s a pretty expensive restaurant.” He asks.

Louis rolls his eyes, getting dressed for the outing. He isn’t in the mood for jokes or being teased, he just wants to get drunk. It’s bad enough that things are stressful at work, but now his private life is stressful. He’s aware the restaurant is expensive, it’s where he takes his flings before he spends the rest of the night fucking them. It lets your date know that you have money and status, which is perfect for getting laid.

Harry’s young, he’s 23. He isn’t that much younger than Louis, but Louis has always felt protective over Harry. Harry tends to not see people for what they are. He picks people who are impossible to deal with, thinking he can change them, and he ends up getting fucked over in the end.

Like that time when Louis was in Uni. Harry was in his last year of secondary school, meaning they were an hour and a half away from each other. They only saw each other on the weekends, so Louis couldn’t really look out for Harry.

Harry went on a date with some guy called Luke and didn’t even bother telling Louis about it. Louis only found out when Harry showed up at his dorm, bloody and bruised because he turned down Luke’s advances.

The only reason Louis didn’t march over to Luke’s house was because Harry refused to tell him his name, where he lived, or where he could find him. Harry only told Louis the name a couple of months ago.

Louis swears that this is why he’s so protective over Harry and who he goes out with, but in reality, it probably has more to do with the fact that he might still have a slight crush on Harry. But if you asked him, he’d deny it until he was blue in the face.

Niall stands up from the bench, pulling his shirt over his head. He runs his fingers through his hair, looking in the mirror. “Alright, you ready to go?” He asks, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Louis grabs his own bag, giving Niall a quick nod.

They’ve practiced until 6 pm, meaning Louis is exhausted and beyond ready to go home and relax in a nice ice bath, but a tradition is a tradition, so his ice bath will have to wait until he’s stumbling in his bathroom, drunk.


	2. Chapter 2: Invidia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Chicago/ Sufjan Stevens
> 
> \- Beige (Unburdened)/ Yoke Lore 
> 
> \- Traveling Song/ Ryn Weaver

Chapter 2: Invidia

"You look absolutely ridiculous, mate, you know that?" Louis slurs, feeling as his eyes crinkle up at the corners. They've been at the pub for about 3 hours, meaning Louis is in way too deep. He hadn't meant to get this drunk, but he couldn't help it when he started thinking about Harry's date. He shouldn't have made that stupid deal. What was he thinking? Harry deserved to know everything Louis thinks about the guy. Harry deserves to know that Louis thinks he's seen him somewhere before, but he can't place it. Harry deserves to know that Louis can't stand the way the guy has his hair styled, or the way his teeth are so perfectly white, or how he kind of looks like a young, British Ryan Reynolds. 

Harry certainly deserves to know that Louis might have a crush on him.

But Louis won't think about that. Instead, he'll think about how ridiculous Niall looks in his hat. 

Niall rolls his eyes, taking another sip of his beer. Louis has been hounding Niall for the past 3 hours, taking out all of his frustration on him. Niall doesn’t mind, he’s used to it now. They’ve been friends ever since they bumped into each other at a party in uni, therefore starting their tradition to get drunk together every Friday.

“I know, you’ve said it quite a few times,” Niall mumbles, eyeing a blonde girl from across the bar. He doesn’t necessarily want to ditch Louis, not when he’s already having a hard time, but the girl has been eyeing him for the last hour.

It’s hard for either of them to go anywhere these days without getting recognized. The boys spend most of their time on the field, but sometimes they have to clean up and go to interviews, promoting their team and their games. People tend to recognize them from both sides, meaning they can never go too long without someone wanting a picture or an autograph.

Louis giggles quietly, lifting his own drink to his lips. “Hey, I should call Harry. I should tell him not to cancel our movie date tomorrow.” He says, reaching behind him to pull his phone out. Niall tears his eyes away from the girl, frowning.

“Date? I thought it was a movie night.” Niall says, reaching out and grabbing Louis’s hand before it can reach his phone. Niall knows Harry likes to go to bed early, he doesn’t want Louis to wake him up.

Plus, he isn’t sure how much of the call Harry would be able to understand between Louis slurring and the background noise from the pub. Music is playing overhead, everyone is shouting and bumping into each other, and the rerun of last season’s football game is playing on the telly.

Louis hiccups, spilling a portion of his drink on his lap. Louis mutters a curse word under his breath, wiping his lap off before it dries. “Movie date, movie night, same thing.”

Niall turns his attention back to the blonde, watching as she makes her way over to where they’re sitting. “What the hell are you staring at, mate?” Louis asks, turning around in his seat. Before Niall can answer, Louis quickly sees what he’s looking at.

She’s a beautiful girl, sure, but she doesn’t do much for Louis. However, it does look like she does a lot for Niall. Louis watches as the girl leans forward, whispering in Niall’s ear.

No way, Niall is not going to ditch Louis for a girl. Especially not when Louis is so upset. No, not upset. Stressed.

In the past 7 years of going out every Friday night, this has never happened. Niall usually gets their number and hooks up with them another night, but he never leaves Louis alone.

Niall’s face turns red as he starts giggling. Giggling, like a schoolgirl. Louis rolls his eyes, placing his glass on the bar. He doesn’t need Niall to have a good time. Now, he’ll be able to go home and take his ice bath.

The girl pulls away, standing behind Niall. Niall clears his throat, turning his eyes to Louis. “Lou, I uh, really hate to do it to you, but man, I gotta-“

Louis groans, covering his ears. “Got it, I’ll see you Monday.”

_

“Li, get the other paintbrush,” Zayn calls out, never looking up from his canvas. He’s laying on his stomach on the floor, switching his gaze from Harry’s photo to the canvas before him. He’s made quite a lot of progress, the painting is almost done. Harry’s impressed, he didn’t think Zayn could make this photo look good.

Harry is a photographer, meaning his camera is never too far away from him. He had been out on a walk earlier when he saw a crushed cigarette on the sidewalk. It didn’t look like much, but Harry had to take a picture of it.

He just felt like there was a story behind it. When he got home and looked at the photograph, he was disappointed. It was a bad picture, he could’ve done better. He should’ve taken a photo of the birds in the tree above him or the elderly couple on their daily walk. He should’ve taken a photo of anything but a crushed cigarette.

He almost deleted it until Zayn walked into the bedroom, convincing him that it was a sick photo. Zayn printed the photo out and now he’s painting a copy of it, trying to make it his own.

Harry lives with Zayn and Liam, he has since he was 18. When Louis went off to Uni, Harry was forced to make other friends. Luckily, Zayn was in his art class and took up with him once he learned Harry loved to take pictures.

Then, Harry was introduced to Liam, who he quickly learned was Zayn’s boyfriend. Liam isn’t into art like the other boys, he’s more into teaching at the primary school not too far from the flat.

“You know, you have legs, Zayn. Use them.” Liam pouts, walking back into the main room. Zayn lifts his head to protest, but he sees Liam bending down to hand him the paintbrush. “Cheers,” Zayn mutters, pressing his lips together, signaling for a kiss.

Liam chuckles, placing a quick kiss on Zayn’s lips. “Have you had a chance to talk to Harry?” Liam asks, taking his seat back on the couch. Harry looks over at Zayn, who’s now biting his lip. He’s focused on the painting in front of him, not looking up.

“Yeah, ‘m talking to him right now.” He mumbles.

Liam frowns, nudging Zayn’s foot with his own. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Harry rocks back on his heels, looking up at the couch. What’s going on? Liam and Zayn are never serious unless something is wrong and nothing is wrong that Harry knows of. “Is everything alright?” Harry asks, pushing his long hair off of his face.

He really should cut it, but he likes the way his hair curls around his face and he knows Louis likes it, he’s said so. Well, maybe he hasn’t exactly said it, but Harry knows he does. Every time they get together for their movie night, Louis always ends up running his fingers through Harry’s hair.

Harry likes it and he doesn’t want him to stop, so he doesn’t cut it.

Zayn sighs, flipping over so his butt is on the floor. He pulls his legs up to his chest, tucking his hands into his sweater sleeves. “Liam and I are getting married,” Zayn says, nervously smiling. Harry’s eyes immediately widen, a smile going straight to his face.

Married? Why didn’t they tell Harry? They’ve been friends for years, this is great! Harry pushes off of his heels, flinging his arms toward Zayn, wrapping them around his neck. “Z, this is great! Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks, nuzzling his face in Zayn’s neck. They’ve never been the friends to keep things from each other.

Zayn pulls away, his smile completely gone. Harry glances from Zayn to Liam, who’s not smiling anymore either. They both look very nervous like they aren’t sure what to say next. Liam takes a deep breath, rubbing his palms over his jeans. “Because… We’ll be moving back to my hometown.” He answers, his voice almost inaudible.

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Why? That’s a 2-hour drive, a 4-hour train ride…”

Wolverhampton is great, but why are they going back? They’ve all been living in Yorkshire for as long as Harry can remember, what’s in Wolverhampton? Harry will be all alone, except for Louis.

Louis will be devastated by the news. He loves Zayn, he’s even fond of Liam. He’ll be even more upset that Harry will be left alone, he’s already so protective of Harry, Harry knows Louis won’t like this.

“My mum found a house there, it’s Zayn’s dream house. I love it, as well. It’s perfect, I think you would love it. I know there are houses in Yorkshire, but as soon as I saw the house, I don’t know… I saw my kids growing up there, I saw Zayn rolling around in the backyard with them. I just-“

“I get it,” Harry forces out a laugh, standing up. “I’m glad, I know you’ve both been wanting your own place for a while.”

Liam and Zayn have never said it, but Harry knows there are times when they wish they didn’t share a tiny flat with their single best friend. Like the time it was Zayn’s birthday and Harry walked in on Liam on his knees, or the time Harry had no choice but to listen to Zayn and Liam’s argument all night or the time they would talk about having kids but saying they didn’t have enough room because Harry took up the only other room.

They don’t mean any harm, Harry doesn’t blame them. If he was madly in love he’s sure he wouldn’t want to constantly be babysitting his friend. And really, he’s happy for them. They’ve been together forever, they deserve to move out and start a beautiful family.

It doesn’t matter that Harry has never lived alone, or that he doesn’t know what he’s going to do when Louis starts playing football again, traveling for games and leaving Harry all alone to fill his weekends with reading and watching trashy reality tv.

All that matters is that his best friends are getting married.

-

Freezing cold. Hypothermic. Shivering. Drunk. Definitely drunk. Sad. Jealous. Definitely jealous.

Those are all things that I am, Louis thinks as he sits in his ice bath. He’s been home for less than an hour after Niall ditched him for the blonde. As soon as he got out of the taxi, Louis stumbled upstairs, into his master bath, and filled his tub with ice. His legs are incredibly sore from practice, but not as sore as his back.

Louis thinks if he could just lay in the bath for a little longer, he could almost fall asleep. He’s been going all day, it feels good to finally relax. Maybe he should ditch practice Monday. He’s never done it, but he thinks his current circumstances permit skipping. He knows he’ll be drunk all day tomorrow, trying to distract himself from the thought of Harry being in bed with another man.

He isn’t sure why it bothers him, it shouldn’t bother him, but it does. Harry should be with someone who deserves him, not some random bloke from Tinder. Harry shouldn’t be naked in his bed, his eyes screwed shut and his mouth wide open as he feels someone thrust into him. He shouldn’t be clawing his back, throwing his creamy, thin legs over the man’s waist, pulling him closer.

Louis leans his head back, closing his eyes as he pictures the scene. His hand drops down to his lap, thankful the ice is only on his legs and not his lap. He isn’t even sure how he’s managed to get hard in an ice bath, it’s ridiculously cold.

Louis sneaks his hand in his briefs, his jaw slack as he thumbs over his leaking slit. No, Harry definitely shouldn’t be spending their movie night riding some random guy's cock, moaning and whimpering as he feels him stretch him out. He shouldn’t be begging the man to go harder, faster.

Louis wraps his hand around the base of his cock, his hips involuntarily bucking up, splashing the ice water around in the bath. Louis gnaws on his bottom lip, trying to suppress the moans and whimpers that are coming out of his own mouth. He wonders what he would have to do to get Harry to sound like this.

Louis slowly jerks himself, his chest heaving up and down, his mind nothing but flashes of Harry wrapped up in the sheets with Louis, screaming and begging for more. Louis wonders if Harry likes it rough or if he likes it slow. Louis wonders if Harry-

“I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop.”

Louis quickly opens his eyes, groaning at the loss of contact as he moves his hand. Who’s calling him? Louis almost ignores it, until the possibility of Harry calling him pops into his mind. Maybe Harry’s calling to say he changed his mind about the date and that he’ll be here for their regularly scheduled movie night tomorrow.

“Go ahead, girl, and don’t you stop. Keep going till-“

Louis leans forward, reaching his arm out to the counter beside the bathtub. His arms are almost too short, his fingers can’t quite reach.

“Yeah, uh-huh, come on-“

Louis leans forward, even more, feeling as his armpit scrubs against the side of the tub, before he finally touches his fingers to the screen. He answers the phone, quickly muting 50 Cent’s anthem.

“Lou?” Harry’s voice comes quietly over the speaker, like he’s upset. This makes Louis sit up a little straighter. What could Harry be upset about? Had his date canceled? Louis smiles at the thought of that, before quickly disappearing. What kind of friend wishes his friend would get stood up?

“You alright?” Louis asks, his words strung together due to his recent activities. His accent always tends to get a little thicker, his voice a little higher. Louis looks down in the bath, seeing that the ice has mostly turned to slush, signaling it’s time to get out.

“I have news,” Harry says, avoiding Louis’s question. Louis notes that, standing up in the bath. He swings his leg over the edge of the bath, feeling as the warmth of his bathroom surrounds his body and almost makes him want to curl up in bed. He wraps a towel around his waist, standing in front of the mirror.

“News? Good or bad?” Louis asks, running his fingers through his hair. His skin is red and blotchy from the ice bath, his nipples are still hard from his unfinished wank. Louis is still bewildered that he was jerking off to the image of his best friend in bed, but it is what it is.

It’s nothing he hasn’t done before.


	3. Chapter 3: Praeterita

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Line Without a Hook/ Ricky Montgomery 
> 
> \- The Call/ Regina Spektor

Chapter 3: Praeterita

“Harry, what is it with you trying to keep things from me? I’m your best friend, just tell me.” Louis urges, walking out of the bathroom and into his bedroom. He’s been on the phone with Harry for the past 10 minutes, trying to get him to tell him what the news is. Harry said it was good news, but it could also be bad news.

Whatever that means.

Harry has been trying to change the subject, flipping between asking Louis about his day and telling him about his daily walk. It’s not that Louis doesn’t want to hear about Harry’s daily walk, consisting of petting every dog that comes by and taking photographs, but he’s more intrigued by the news Harry refuses to tell him.

Harry groans into the speaker, throwing his head back. He called Louis to tell him the news, but now he regrets it. Louis is going to be upset that his friends are moving away and he’ll probably have something smart to say about Harry living alone. Harry is already upset by the news, he doesn’t need Louis to add to it.

Harry lays on his bed, watching his toes wiggle in his fuzzy socks. After Liam and Zayn told him the news, he took a therapeutic shower, blasting Taylor Swift and trying to refrain from calling his mum to tell her that he wants to move back home. He just doesn’t like the idea of him living alone.

After what happened in year 11, Harry isn’t fond of being alone at all. He’s only recently started going on daily walks alone after Louis hounded him about getting out of the house. Louis means well, but sometimes he can come across as rude and impatient. He just wants Harry to be better, that’s all.

“I know, Lou. I’m sorry.” Harry says. He feels a warm tear rolling down his cheek, landing on the collar of his nightshirt. Harry quickly wipes it away, shaking his head at himself. He shouldn’t be crying. Year 11 was almost 7 years ago, he should be over it by now.

Louis stays silent, except for the whistle of his tea kettle, letting Harry know that Louis is getting ready for bed. “Did anything happen?” Louis asks, his voice suddenly gentle. He’s always been protective of Harry, but after what happened, Harry noticed he got even more protective. Harry doesn’t mind, Louis is used to watching over everybody because of his younger siblings. Harry thinks it makes Louis feel better, to have someone to watch over while he’s away from his family.

“No, nothing like that. It’s just…” Harry starts, looking over to his wall, seeing a framed picture of Liam, Zayn, Harry, and Louis snuggled up on the couch together for a movie night. Niall was taking the picture, pulling goofy faces behind the phone to get everyone to laugh. That was almost a year ago, things were so different then.

Harry remembers that day like it was yesterday. Harry remembers it so well because it’s the first night he realized he had a slight crush on Louis. Louis had fallen asleep with his head on Harry’s shoulder, mumbling in his sleep. Harry slept on the couch that night, sitting straight up, so he wouldn’t disturb Louis. Harry was shocked at the revelation. He had a crush on Louis?

After 18 years of friendship, Harry was developing a crush on Louis? Soon after that night, Harry reckoned he’s probably always had a crush on Louis, he just never realized it. Harry could never tell Louis, it’d ruin their friendship. Louis is different than Harry. He doesn’t have relationships, he has flings. It’s just how it works with Louis being so busy and traveling for football.

So, Harry kept it to himself, only drunkenly confessing it to Niall 3 months later. Niall barely remembers it, Harry doesn’t remember it at all.

“Liam and Zayn are getting married.”

Louis’ eyes widen. Married? Why didn’t they tell anyone? That’s not a secret you keep from your best mates. They’ve been together since they were 16, it’s about time. But still, did they think their friends wouldn’t be happy for them?

“That’s great, Harry! Guess you’ll need to cancel that date tomorrow, we should all get together and celebrate!” Louis says, immediately regretting what he said. He has to stop trying to get Harry to cancel his date. Harry is a 23-year old man, he can decide if he wants to go on a date or not.

“They’re moving to Wolverhampton. Liam’s mum found a great place for them and Liam is completely in love with it.”

Wolverhampton? That’s 2-hours away from Doncaster. This will be the furthest the boys have been away from each other since they met. Now, it’s just going to be Niall, Louis, and Harry together for movie nights and pub crawls.

And what about Harry? Who’s he going to live with? Louis isn’t fond of the idea of Harry living alone, he knows how much Harry hates being alone. He’s never lived alone. Will Harry go back home to Holmes Chapel? No, he can’t. That’s 3 hours away from Doncaster.

“Oh,” Louis says, his attention being brought to his tea kettle. It’s been whistling for the past 5 minutes, but Louis has been too lost in his thoughts to pay any attention to it. Louis pours his tea in his mug, watching as the steam crawls up in the air.

His response was a little pathetic, but it’s all he could muster up. He wants to be happy for Zayn and Li, but he can’t. He’s only concerned with how this will affect Harry. This changes a lot of things, it means they’re all growing up. Their best friends are getting married and moving off, they’re no longer the 20-year-olds that watched football matches and took shots every time their favorite team scored.

“They’re moving out in 2 weeks.” Harry continues.

Shit. 2 weeks? In 2 weeks, Louis will be getting geared up for the start of the season. For a second, Louis thought he might ask Harry to move in with him. He has plenty of room, he wouldn’t mind having Harry as a roommate. But between practice, traveling for games, and going out to celebrate, he’d never be home, so Harry would end up home alone here anyway. It’s better off if Harry can find someone else to move in with, so he won’t have to be home alone.

“What are you going to do?” Louis asks, carrying his mug to the couch. He folds his left leg under his bum, leaving his right leg to swing over the edge of the couch. He brings the mug to his lip, inhaling the sweet smell of the tea. He knows he shouldn’t have tea before bed, but it’s a habit that he can’t quite seem to break.

Harry sighs, running his fingers through his hair, flipping over on his side. His phone is on the bed, Louis is on speaker. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do, that’s why he wanted to call Louis. He could go home, but then he would be 3 hours away from Louis, and he doesn’t like that idea. They’ve never been more than an hour and a half away from each other and Harry doesn’t want to start now.

“I don’t know. Thought about going back home to mum.” He confesses. He really wishes he could move in with Louis, but he doesn’t want to invite himself. They’ve never lived together, but Harry’s always liked the idea of it.

“Come on, Haz, you know you don’t want to do that. You’ll be too far away from me.” Louis says, before catching himself. Louis’s cheeks heat up, his eyes widen. “And Niall. Niall would be lost without you.”

Harry smiles to himself. Yeah, Niall would miss Harry a lot, he thinks. “If I don’t go back home, I’ll be stuck by myself.” Harry whines, pouting his pink lips. He hears Louis chuckle on the other end of the phone, causing Harry’s heart to swell.

“You never know, your date might want to move in. He looks like the type to move in with someone after the first date.” Louis grumbles. Harry frowns, glancing at the screen. Louis isn’t exactly wrong… But still, he made a deal.

“Deal, Lou.” Harry reminds him, listening as Louis huffs.

“I got to get to bed, I’ll call you before the date tomorrow and see if you’ve changed your mind,” Louis says. Harry smiles softly, feeling as a strand of long hair tickles his nose. He isn’t sure why Louis wants him to cancel this date so bad, but it’s interesting to watch. Louis is used to getting whatever he wants, considering he’s a pretty well-known football player. Harry is the only one that ever challenges Louis and Harry thinks Louis might like that.

“Night,” Harry says, watching as Louis ends the call. Harry lays on his back, staring at the ceiling. Even though Louis was teasing Harry’s date, he might actually have a point. It’s not like his date is a stranger, he’s known him before. But, he might think Harry’s clinically insane if he asks him to move in with him after the first date.

Harry has 2 weeks to find a roommate, so maybe if everything goes well, he can ask him to move in then. After all, Harry thinks it might be good for him, to help him get over some things in his past. Harry is all about good karma, and you need to forgive in order to have good karma.

Harry rubs his hands over his face, breathing out a long breath. It’s been a long day, he just wishes he could stop stressing about everything. He knows he’s stressing Louis out and that’s the last thing Louis needs.

Louis is already stressed out about the start of his season, Harry doesn’t want to add onto any of that. That’s also why Harry decides not to tell Louis his plan about having his date move in with him, he knows Louis would disapprove. Louis would actually probably lock Harry up in a cell, so Harry would need to keep it a secret for as long as he can. He hates keeping secrets from Louis, but this is a necessary secret.

Harry quickly snuggles under the blankets, closing his eyes as he starts thinking of Louis. What would it be like to live with Louis? Harry has spent the night with Louis before, so he knows he’s a bit of a grumpy boy in the morning. Harry imagines being in bed with Louis, peaking through his hooded eyes, watching as Louis saunters to the master bath.

Louis would strip off his briefs, stepping into the shower. Harry would attempt to entertain himself while Louis is in the shower, but he’d fail miserably, missing Louis’s warmth in the bed next to him too much. He’d creep out of bed, tip-toeing to the shower, catching Louis off guard.

Louis would blush the same way he blushes when he plays with Harry’s curls. Harry would step into the shower, wrapping his arms around Louis’s waist and pressing his cheek to the back of his shoulder, feeling as the water hits them both. Maybe Louis would turn around, facing Harry. Harry would lean down, Louis would stand on his toes, craning his neck up to meet Harry’s lips.

Harry would cradle Louis’s face in his big hand, his other hand falling to Louis’s perfect, round, plush ass-

Harry sits up in bed, blinking away the sleep from his eyes. No, he can’t be dreaming about Louis. Not like _that_. Louis is his best friend, Harry’s crush has been long gone. Louis would be positively disgusted if he knew Harry was dreaming about him like that. Louis would never look at Harry the same way again.

Little does Harry know, Louis is in his own bed, dreaming of a similar scenario.


	4. Chapter 4: Initium Novum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter are:
> 
> \- Cigarette Daydreams/ Cage the Elephant 
> 
> \- Washing Machine Heart/ Mitski 
> 
> \- Red Truck Joyride / Lily Forte

Chapter 4: Initium Novum

July 16

“You’re going to wear that to the date?” Louis asks, looking Harry up and down. Harry frowns, tugging the jacket of his suit together. Is he underdressed? Does Harry even have anything to wear to somewhere this fancy? Harry doesn’t want to look like a complete idiot, he wants to impress his date. The last time he saw his date, he was just a shy 16-year-old little boy.

“Does it look stupid?” Harry asks, keeping eye contact with Louis in the mirror. Harry panicked earlier, calling Louis over to help him. Louis has experience with the finer things in life, because of his status as a world-renowned football player. Sometimes it baffles Harry that he’s friends with someone like Louis.

Louis cocks his head, scrunching his nose. “No, you look great. I just… Don’t know if your date deserves this.” Louis mutters, breaking eye contact. His eyes scan Harry, all the way from his perfect hair to his clean shoes. He looks… Extravagant. If Louis was taking Harry out, he’d be very impressed by Harry’s fashion. But he’s not, so he isn’t. Instead, he’s just jealous and bitter.

Harry chooses to simply ignore Louis’s comment, running his clammy fingers through his hair. He shouldn’t do that, he knows it’ll only cause his hair to be greasy, but it’s a nervous tic. He can’t believe he’s going out with this guy. Harry thought he’d never see him again. He didn’t think he ever wanted to see him again. But things change, people grow up, and they apologize. Harry wants a fresh start, so that means forgiving people.

“Is he picking you up?” Louis asks, trying to distract himself. He’s tried to talk Harry out of this date at least 5 times in the last hour, but he’s made no progress. Whoever this guy is, Harry is dead set on going out with him. Lucky guy.

Harry turns around, facing Louis. He grabs his car keys off of his nightstand, before putting them back. He can’t drive his 2016 Ford Focus to this restaurant. The valets will surely mock him when they see him drive up in his car instead of a Porsche or a Lexus. He’ll take a taxi.

No, that will be even worse. Harry quickly glances over at Louis, who’s staring. Harry chuckles nervously, faking a smile. “About that… Heh, do you think you would let me borrow your-“

“No.”

“Louuuu! Please? My Focus looks like shit compared to their cars.” Harry pleads, stomping his foot like a child. Louis shakes his head, his lips in a tight line. “We have Ubers and taxis for a reason, H.” Louis argues.

“You’re going to let your best friend humiliate himself on a first date because you don’t trust me to drive your car? What about the deal? You’re going to let me drive it anyway.” Harry urges. Louis crosses his arms across his chest. “Oh, no, I’m not. Because I am going to keep my end of the deal.” Louis bargains.

Harry sighs, glancing over at his car keys. He loves his car, there’s nothing wrong with it. But it’s a little amateur when you’re going to a place like this. Everyone there makes over 73,000 pounds a year. Harry is barely scraping together 25,000 pounds a year.

He doesn’t even want to think about how much Louis makes.

Louis sighs, watching Harry pout. He doesn’t want Harry to be embarrassed, he shouldn’t be. He’s done well for himself. He’s got flat with two of his best friends, he’s got a decent job. He knows this is all a power play by his date. He wants Harry to feel inferior, like his date is doing him a favor by taking him here. He wants Harry to feel like he owes him something because he took him somewhere that nice.

Louis’s skin crawls at the thought.

“What about Liam? Or Zayn?” Louis asks, a pang of guilt hitting him. Harry shakes his head. “Liam is at a parent/teacher meeting and Zayn is with a friend at an art gallery.”

Louis stays silent for a moment, pursing his lips. He doesn’t want to let Harry drive his car, but he can’t leave Harry stranded. What kind of friend would he be? So, he compromises. “I’ll drive you.”

Harry’s head snaps up, a smile on his face. Louis’s heart swoons when Harry rushes over, flinging his arms around Harry’s shoulders. Louis’s body collides with Harry’s, causing Louis to grunt out a quiet, “Hmph!”.

“You’re the best, Lou.”

_

The whole way to the restaurant, Louis is absolutely seething. How did he get roped into spending his Saturday night driving his best friend to a date he doesn’t even approve of? There’s an uncomfortable silence in the car, mostly caused by Harry’s nervousness.

He’s suddenly regretting agreeing to this date, he should’ve listened to Louis. Harry knows people change, but do they change this much? Can someone go from being inherently evil to being a completely reformed person?

Harry feels his heart rate quicken as Louis pulls up to the door. He rubs his clammy hands on the fabric covering his legs, trying to get the sweat off of his hands. He doesn’t want to start this date off with the guy going to hold his hand, only to recoil in disgust because of an unknown wetness on Harry’s hands.

“I assume he’s going to be a gentleman and drop you off at your place?” Louis asks, his foot pressing on the brake. The car comes to a slow stop, causing Harry’s lunch to creep up his throat. Harry swallows it down, taking a deep breath. “He’ll drive me to his flat, I’ll get an Uber in the morning.”

Louis frowns, tapping his thumb on his steering wheel. He still can’t believe Harry is going to sleep with a stranger. “What about our movie?” Louis asks. Harry turns to face him, disbelief on his face. “Lou, how many times do I have to tell you that we canceled that?”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You canceled it, not we,” Louis mutters. Harry rolls his own eyes, his hand moving to the door handle. He takes more deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He hates this, he hates first dates. They’re just awkward, you never know what to talk about.

When neither of the boys say anything more, Louis drops his gaze to his lap. “I’ll be at the flat, in case you decide to come home.”. Harry chuckles dryly, shaking his head. “I’m not coming back.”.

“I said in case.”

Harry opens the door, stepping out of the Range Rover. He glances at the door to the restaurant before looking back at Louis. Harry gives him a small smile, trying to disguise his nervousness. “Thank you… For the ride.” He says, softly.

Louis nods, faking his own smile. “Call me if you need anything.” He reassures Harry, watching as Harry turns around. Harry shuts the door to the Range Rover, grimacing as soon as he does. He knows Louis is only trying to be helpful, but maybe he doesn’t want his help. Harry knows Louis thinks he’s still the helpless little boy he met in football all those years ago, but he’s not.

Harry is an adult, he’s extremely capable of making his own decisions and judgements about someone. Despite what Louis thinks.

Harry looks around, noticing how the valet looks Harry up and down, before scowling in disapproval. Harry chooses to ignore that, instead focusing on the door in front of him. The night sky is littered with stars, shining a light on the glass door. Harry takes a deep breath, putting one foot in front of the other, walking toward the restaurant.

When he reaches the door, he opens it, quickly glancing around the room. His date must’ve already sat down. Harry makes his way to the hostess stand, feigning excitement when really, he’s plagued by nervousness. “Hello. Do you have reservations, sir?” The woman asks, studying Harry’s face. Harry studies her as well, noticing her chipped fingernails, her cracked lips, and her greasy hair. He notices those things because he has them too. He can tell the girl is a nervous person, just like Harry is. She doesn’t look like she should be here, but neither does Harry.

Harry clears his throat, shaking his head. “I’m here to meet someone. It should be under…” Harry trails off, pulling his phone out. He’s not sure if he remembers his date’s last name, it’s been so long since he saw him. “Mr. Robinson? He mentioned he was waiting on someone.” The girl says, causing Harry’s head to snap up. Yes! That’s his last name.

“Yes, actually.”

The girl smiles, motioning for Harry to follow behind. She makes her way to the back of the restaurant, the dim lighting making it hard for Harry to point out Luke’s face. Harry observes the couples at each table, noticing their fancy clothes and their pretentious laughs. Harry resists the urge to throw up in his mouth, when the hostess finally comes to a stop. She’s standing in front of a sole table, away from all of the other couples.

The table is in front of a window, a dim overhead light showing Luke’s face. Luke looks up from the menu, a smile quickly forming on his lips. “Harry! It’s so good to see you again.” Luke exclaims, standing up. Harry braces himself for impact, plastering a smile on his own face. Luke’s face brings back more memories than Harry thought it would. This is the first time Harry’s seen him since the incident.

Luke slings his arms around Harry, pulling him close. Harry inhales the smell of wine on his breath, scrunching his nose up. “Yeah, it’s good to see you too.” Harry breathes out, chuckling nervously. The hostess places Harry’s menu down, walking back to her stand. 

“I hope you like white wine, I ordered the Condrieu Domaine du Monteillet.” Luke says, nodding his head to the glass of wine that he had previously poured for Harry. Harry examines the wine, already feeling nauseous at the thought of drinking wine. He’s never been a fan of wine, especially not the expensive ones.

“I love wine.” Harry lies, not wanting to hurt Luke’s feelings. Luke smiles, reaching across the table and holding Harry’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his hand. “You look exactly the same as you did when we were 16,” Luke says, his voice soft. Harry sighs at the contact, feeling himself relax.

Okay, Luke seems different. He certainly doesn’t seem like the same 16-year-old boy who hated the thought of being gay, taking it out on Harry when Harry turned his sexual advances down. He seems… Better. Harry knew he made the right choice by giving him a second chance.

“You look even better than you did.” Harry chuckles, pulling his hand away. His hands drop to the menu in front of him, his eyes scanning the wine menu. What kind of wine did Luke say he bought? Harry’s eyes dart to the bottle of wine, reading the table. Condrieu Domaine du Monteillet… Harry looks back down at the wine menu, his eyes settling on the price. 160 pounds?! For a bottle of wine?

Harry swallows quickly, his hand reaching out to grab the wine glass. He isn’t a fan of wine, but if Luke spent that much money on it, he’ll force himself to like it. He doesn’t want to disappoint, or worse, make Luke think his palate isn’t as refined as his. Harry sips on the wine, watching as Luke blushes. “I just want to say thank you again, for giving me another chance. I know what I did was messed up, I really don’t know what got into me.” Luke apologizes, his eyes and tone are sincere.

Harry nearly scowls as the wine touches his tongue, disgust crawling up his throat. Harry swallows before he has the chance to throw up. He places the glass back down on the white cloth, carefully so it won’t spill. “Of course, I think everyone should get a second chance.”


	5. Chapter 5: Amore Peribat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- 1999/ beabadoobee 
> 
> \- Welcome and Goodbye/ Dream, ivory

Chapter 5: Amore Peribat

“Lou, would you just sit down and relax? He’s fine, he’s a grown man.” Liam urges, grabbing the edge of Louis’s green hoodie and pulling him down on the couch. Louis groans as his bum touches the cushion, narrowing his eyes at Liam. “I know he’s fine, he’s probably so fine that he’s already allowed his date to get balls deep,” Louis mumbles, crossing his arms.

Zayn cackles, throwing his head back. Liam frowns disapprovingly, staring at Zayn. “So what if he’s in bed with another guy? Why does it bother you so much? You fuck anything that has legs.” Liam reminds Louis, causing Louis to sink in his seat. Liam isn’t wrong, that’s why Louis is so upset. He doesn’t want Harry to end up like him, alone forever. Harry is pure, he’s too good for one night stands and flings. Harry deserves more than that.

“I just worry about him. He’s too nice, bad things happen to nice people.” Louis answers. Zayn looks up from the tv screen, his Xbox controller in his hand. “Harry isn’t nice, have you ever tried waking him up?” Zayn mumbles, turning his head back to the screen. Louis went back to Harry’s flat like he said he would. He thought he’d be alone until Liam got back from his meeting early.

Louis sighs, tapping his socked foot on the floor. He doesn’t know what Zayn is talking about. Anytime Louis has ever woke Harry up, Harry’s been a complete angel. Sure, he was a little grumpy, but that didn’t last too long after Louis brought Harry a cup of coffee to bed. “You need to get laid. It’s starting to get creepy, your obsession with Harry.” Liam says, keeping his eyes on Louis.

Louis furrows his eyebrows, scoffing. Obsession? What is Liam talking about? Louis isn’t obsessed with anything, most definitely not Harry. “Right, either of you want to help me out?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow. He darts his eyes between Zayn and Liam, watching as Zayn laughs again. Liam groans, mumbling under his breath. Louis’s been insufferable ever since he dropped Harry off, even he knows it.

He just doesn’t want Harry to come home, crying and heartbroken because his date turned out to be a complete tosser. He’s had to deal with it once and it almost broke him, he doesn’t want to deal with it again. Louis stands up, making his way to Harry’s bedroom. It’s at the end of the hall, tucked away where no one can see it. That’s how Harry likes it, Louis figures. Harry’s always been a reserved person, it’s something Louis doesn’t understand.

But then again, with Louis’s career, he can’t exactly be reserved. Anytime he goes out, someone asks for pictures or an autograph, everyone has an opinion on his decisions or about his life, someone is always watching. It’s exhausting, but Louis puts up with it because he loves football. This was always his dream growing up, he won’t give it up now. Louis opens Harry’s door, making his way to the bed. Louis sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. Louis wonders if Harry is okay. How is the date going? Is his date nice? Is he eating or is he shoveling food around on the plate because he thinks it’s nasty but is too polite to send it back?

Most importantly, why does Louis care? He knows Harry’s his friend, but he shouldn’t care this much. Friends don’t care this much. Friends tease their friends about their dates, talk shit, and make sure their friend is safe, and that’s that. Friends don’t obsess over the date, constantly pacing back and forth, hoping their friend will call and ask to be picked up.

No, this is more.

Meanwhile, Harry is indeed pushing his food around his plate, pretending to enjoy the pretentious food. Harry isn’t even sure what Luke ordered for him and he doesn’t care to know. Harry thought he might like to try something else, but Luke insisted Harry try what Luke wanted him to have. Harry supposed it was sweet, Luke pushing Harry to try new things, but he knows he’ll be starving until tomorrow morning when he gets back to his flat. Luke has been talking about himself for the past hour, telling Harry that after secondary school, he went to uni to be a business major. After, he landed a job at one of the best law firms in the country.

Luke brings the napkin to his mouth, dabbing the corners of his lips where sauce was gathering. “So, how have things been for you?” He asks, leaning back in his seat. Finally, Harry thinks. He gives Luke a small smile, placing his hands in his lap. “After secondary school, I got an internship with a photographer an-“

“You didn’t go to uni?”

Harry pulls his lips together in a tight line, blinking. “No, I didn’t go to uni. My mum couldn’t afford it, my sister went to school and it almost broke my mum. So, anyway, I worked with that photographer for about 2 years, before I created my own business.” Harry finishes, feeling unimpressed with his own life story. He must look pathetic to Luke. Luke works at a law firm, for Christs’ sake. What is he doing out with a freelance photographer who can barely pay his own bills?

Luke nods slowly, pursing his lips together. “That’s alright, everyone has an average job before finding their dream job.” He states. Harry cocks his head, his mouth opening. Average job? Does he think Harry’s photography business is temporary? It’s not, this is Harry’s dream job. Harry chuckles nervously, glancing down at his plate where the food is growing cold. “Um, it is my dream job.” He mutters, feeling his cheeks heat up.

Luke stares at Harry, silent. Harry picks at his fingernails, feeling his heart rate quicken. This date was a mistake, he shouldn’t have come. He’s way out of his league here, he has no business trying to play with the top dogs. He should stick to the other guys on Tinder, the ones that are on Harry’s level- physically, financially, and mentally.

Harry should just go home. He can call Louis, Louis will be here in a quick second. He can spend the rest of the night watching movies and listen to Louis make fun of Harry’s date. It’s what he wants, really. He would rather be anywhere but here. Louis was right.

“Harry, why don’t we go somewhere else? I have this really cool place I’d like to show you, but you’d have to swing by your place to get your camera.” Luke offers, leaning forward in his chair. Harry lifts his head, his hair falling around his face. Why does he have to get his camera? Where is Luke wanting to take him? Truthfully, Harry doesn’t even know if he wants to go. He doesn’t like the idea of listening to Luke talk about his success for the next hour, being interrupted when he tries to open his mouth.

“Oh, I don’t know. I should probably just go home.” Harry says, his cheeks reddening. Luke reaches out his hand, his palm facing upward. Harry hesitantly places his own hand in Luke’s, watching as Luke clasps their hands together. “Just let me show you. If you want to leave as soon as we’re there, I’ll take you home. No questions.”

Harry stares at Luke, weighing the pros and cons in his head. Pros are: Could have fun, could get some really great pictures, could lead to amazing sex. Cons are: He’d rather be with Louis.

“Pleaseeee.” Luke whines, a smile on his face. Harry drops his shoulders, a smile of his own forming. “Alright, alright. I’ll go.”

_

Louis is still in Harry’s bed when Harry opens the door, causing him to sit up straight. He’d come in here to think and get away from Liam and Zayn, but he fell asleep soon after. When he sits up, he sees Harry and…

His date.

They’re standing in the door, Harry’s mouth wide open. What is Harry doing here? Has he changed his mind about sleeping over? No, if he’d change his mind, his date wouldn’t be here. Who is this guy? He looks incredibly familiar. Not familiar enough to cause memories to flash in Louis’s head, but familiar enough to cause Louis to stare a little harder.

He doesn’t like this guy.

He remembers that much. He doesn’t remember what he did, who he is, or how he knows him, but he knows that he doesn’t like him. That’s enough to cause Louis to act up.

Louis fake stretches, adding a fake yawn for theatricals. “Hazza? What are you doing home so late? I thought you’d be in bed with me by now.” Louis says, his voice light and airy. Harry’s eyes widen, his head snapping between Louis and his date. “Who is this?” The guy asks, a frown painted on his face.

“I’m his husband, who are you?” Louis asks, causing Harry to scoff. Harry turns to face his date, his eyes still wide. “He’s insane, that’s what he is.”

Louis frowns, scooting to the edge of the bed. If he can just get a little closer, he can maybe tell who this guy is. Harry turns back to Louis, storming over to his nightstand. “What are you doing here with him?” Louis asks, watching as Harry digs through his drawer.

“I think the real question is what are you doing in my bed?” Harry asks, a slight edge to his voice. The date must be going bad, Harry sounds frustrated. He doesn’t typically get this angry at Louis for his jokes, but then again, Louis doesn’t typically fake being Harry’s husband in front of his dates. “I’m in your bed every night, honey. We’re married.” Louis answers.

Harry grabs his camera strap, slamming the drawer and standing up straight. He points a finger at Louis, causing Louis to shrink back. “Deal, Louis.” Harry reminds him through gritted teeth. Louis groans, flopping down on his back. The pillow bends under the weight of Louis’s head, creating a perfect indent. Harry walks over to his desk, grabbing his camera and several lenses. Louis tries to ignore the way Harry slams the door behind him, causing Louis to flinch on the bed.

“Who was that guy?” Luke asks, following Harry as he practically runs to the car. Harry huffs and shakes his head, still in disbelief of Louis’s actions. What has gotten into him? He’s never done anything like that. Teasing and faking to be Harry’s husband in front of his date are two completely different things. That’s over the line.

Harry opens his door, getting into Luke’s car. “He’s my best friend. He can be a little… Overprotective.” Harry mumbles, gently placing his camera and the lenses in his lap.


	6. Chapter 6: Novus Amor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Movement/ Hozier
> 
> \- Vivaldi Variation/ Florian Christl

Chapter 6: Novus Amor

“Luke, are you going to kill me?” Harry asks, chuckling nervously. His eyes are set on the abandoned building in front of them. He focuses on the plants crawling out of the earth, swarming the pillars and columns at the front of the building. The stars and the busted lights on the building are the only light shining in Luke’s car. If Harry holds his breath, he can almost hear the sound of birds cawing in the distance.

Very creepy.

Luke throws his head back, laughing. “No, Harry, I’m not going to kill you. I’m just going to take you into an abandoned mental institution.” He reassures Harry. Harry tightens his grasp on the camera on his lap, his eyes flickering from the building to Luke. “So, yeah, you’re going to kill me.”

Luke laughs again, unbuckling his seatbelt. “I might.” He teases, opening his door. Harry nervously opens his own door, clasping the camera strap around his neck. Luke comes to his side, taking the nighttime lens from Harry. “Are you using the 1.8 STM lens?” Luke asks, causing Harry to cock his head. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

Luke leads them to the staircase, stopping so Harry can take a picture of the lights. “My mum was a photographer. She always said those were the best lens for taking pictures in the dark.” Luke answers, causing Harry to smile. So maybe Luke didn’t look down on him being a photographer after all. “I used to go to all of her sessions, she’d drag me all over town taking pictures of the most random things.”

Harry pulls the camera away from his face, looking back and smiling at Luke before bringing the camera back to his eyes, studying his picture. “So this is kind of like your regular day back at home when you were younger.” Harry says, snapping a couple more pictures. When he’s satisfied, he follows Luke in the building. “Yeah, this reminds me of home a bit.” Luke says.

Harry raises an eyebrow, nodding toward the old hospital beds with straps across them. “The mental institution?” Harry asks. Luke walks toward the desk, dusting the webs and dust off of it. He keeps his back to Harry when he answers.

“You.”

_

Louis sits in Harry’s bed, thumbing through all of his social media. He knows who this guy is, he just doesn’t know how he knows him. There’s something off about him, there’s something Louis doesn’t trust about him. He clearly makes Harry upset, he’s never acted like that before.

The guy looked like a pretentious dick. Harry shouldn’t be with someone like that. What does Harry like about this guy anyway? He doesn’t look that great, he doesn’t seem funny, he just looks like a dick. It’s well past 11 pm, Louis should be in bed. He has to stick to a strict sleeping schedule, even out of season. It’s important for him to be well-rested in order to play good and practice good.

Louis also hasn’t heard anything from Harry. It’s been almost an hour since he left the flat, Louis thought Harry would at least let him know he was okay. Louis’s curious as to why Harry had to come back to get his camera before going to his date’s house. Is his date some kind of creep who forces his one night stands to film sex tapes? Louis wouldn’t put it past the guy.

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t planned on staying at Harry’s this late, but now he’s too tired to drive home. Louis stands up, walking down the hall and into the kitchen. When he gets there, he catches Liam and Zayn kissing. Both of them are shirtless, Zayn has Liam pressed against the counter, his hand…

Gross. Louis doesn’t want to see this. Louis clears his throat, rocking forward on his tip-toes. As soon as they hear him, Zayn and Liam part, blushing. “I see why you want to kick Harry out now.” Louis mumbles, pushing past them to get to the fridge. Liam frowns, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “We don’t want to kick him out, we’re the ones moving.”

Louis nods his head, rummaging through the fridge for something to eat. He’d skipped out on dinner, too nauseous to eat. He was too busy thinking up different scenarios of Harry’s date. None of them made him feel better, even the ones with the good endings for Harry. Especially not those. Louis spots strawberry jam, causing his eyes to perk up. Toast lathered with strawberry jam doesn’t sound too bad for a midnight snack.

“Congratulations on your engagement, by the way.” Louis grumbles, pulling the jam from its compartment. He carries the container to the counter, setting it down beside the toaster. “That sounds genuine.” Zayn teases, walking over to Louis and tussling his hair. Louis frowns, jerking his head away from Zayn. He isn’t normally this grumpy, he swears.

“It is, swear. I just worry about Harry.” Louis answers, standing on his toes to reach the bread. He doesn’t know why Zayn and Liam keep their bread up so high, he thinks they might do it to mess with Louis when he comes over. “Why can’t he move in with you?” Liam asks. Liam feels guilty about moving out, he really does. But there comes a time when you grow up and move out, it has to be done.

Louis pops the toast in the toaster, adding a couple extra slices for Liam and Zayn. “I’m never home during the season. He’d still be living alone.” Louis answers, turning to face the boys. He rests his bare back against the cold counter, feeling his nipples get hard at the contact. Louis shivers, crossing his arms over his chest to warm himself up. “If I thought he didn’t want to live alone because he couldn’t afford it, I’d help him with the rent. But I know he doesn’t like staying alone.”

When no one says anything, Louis continues. “Did you get a good look at the guy that Harry brought in?” He asks. Zayn looks at Liam, blushing. Zayn clears his throat, turning his gaze to Louis. “We were… Busy.” He answers. Louis rolls his eyes, fake gagging. Is he the only person in the world that isn’t getting laid? First, it was Niall. Then, it was Zayn and Liam. Now, it’s Harry.

“Do you know his name?” Louis asks, jumping as the toast pops up. He turns around, carefully pulling the toast out and plopping the slices on the plate. “I wanna say it started with an L. Landon? Levi?” Liam says, watching as Louis spreads the jam. Louis sighs. His friends are no help in the detective field. He’ll have to stalk this guy on his own. For Harry’s good.

_

“Sh, we have to be quiet.” Harry giggles, turning his face away from Luke’s puckered lips. Luke moves his hands to Harry’s waist, pinching at the plushy skin there. “Why? Scared the ghosts will hear us?” He teases, causing Harry to cackle. They’ve been pinned up against the wall for the past 20 minutes, unable to focus on anything other than each other’s lips and touch. Harry blames it on his heat, that’s why he’s been so desperate to get laid.

Harry hates being dealing with this, he wishes he could just be normal and not have to worry about getting pregnant. But with every passing minute, he’s finding it increasingly harder to keep it in his pants- literally.

Luke moves his hands to Harry’s undershirt, tracing the ruffles on the shirt. His forehead is almost touching Harry’s, their breath almost mixing. “Want you so bad.” Luke mumbles, causing Harry to almost moan. It sounds so good to hear someone say they want you, especially when you never thought they’d want you. “Then have me.” Harry whispers, feeling himself lose control. Luke’s eyes light up, breaking apart from Harry. Harry smiles, trying to catch his breath. “Stay right here.”

Harry watches as Luke runs out of the building, leaving Harry standing against the wall. The stars have faded, meaning it’s almost completely dark in the building. It would be creepy if Harry was here under different circumstances, but now, all he can think about is having Luke’s hands on him again. Harry tries to distract himself, so he pulls out his phone.

He goes to his messages, typing out a message to the group chat.

To Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall: pray for me, about to get the best dick of my life

Liam: doubtful, I already have it

Zayn: yay haz!

Niall: 😳

Louis: gross.

Harry chooses to ignore Louis, like usual. Louis isn’t normally this grumpy, Harry doesn’t know what’s gotten into him lately. Maybe Louis is in his rut, that would explain the attitude. Alphas are always so aggressive in their rut. It’s fitting that Louis would be an alpha and Harry an omega, Harry couldn’t be aggressive if he tried.

Harry locks his phone back, sticking it back in his pocket. When he does, Luke reappears. This time, he’s holding a blanket and a small flashlight, his smile almost too big for his face. “You came prepared…” Harry says, eyeing the bottle of lube in Luke’s hand. Looks like they both intended on getting laid tonight.

Luke ignores Harry, laying the blanket down on the ground. It doesn’t look comfortable, but it’ll have to do. Harry isn’t sure why Luke doesn’t just take him to his place, but he isn’t one to be picky. A lay is a lay, no matter where it’s taking place. Luke sits on the blanket, turning the flashlight on and laying it on its side. The flashlight casts a very faint light on the boys, but it’s a light, so it’ll do. Harry takes a deep breath, removing the camera strap from his neck. He takes his place beside of Luke, smiling nervously.

He thinks back to when he was 16. He was in almost the same exact position with the same guy. He hopes things will be different, he wants so bad for Luke to be better than he used to be. He already seems like he is, despite his interruptions and condescending remarks. 16-year-old Luke would’ve never done this for Harry. Luke scoots closer, leaning in for another kiss. As soon as their lips connect, Luke’s hand finds its way to Harry’s curls, lightly tugging. Harry moans into the kiss, taking Luke’s signal and laying on his back. Luke hovers over him, his other hand holding himself up. Harry bucks his hips up, trying to get any possible friction. It’s been way too long since he got laid last and he’s about to go crazy.

Luke pulls back, resting his forehead on Harry’s. Harry tries to shift around, feeling as pieces of the wooden floor poke through the blanket and his shirt. He already knows his back is going to be sore tomorrow, along with his bum, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to get laid. It’s dead silent in the building, except for the occasional chitter of a random rat. The thought makes Harry’s skin crawl, so he tries to keep his mind off of it.

“I don’t have a condom.”

Harry stares up at Luke, furrowing his eyebrows. How does he have a blanket, a flashlight, and lube, but no condom? How are you extremely prepared, while also not prepared at all? Harry sighs, trying to figure out what to do. He wants to have sex, he wants it more than he’s ever wanted it. But then again, he always wants sex this bad during heat. But he can’t have sex without a condom while he’s in heat, he’d definitely get pregnant. But he doesn’t want to say no, he doesn’t want what happened last time to happen again.

The last time he told Luke no, he ended up at Louis’s house, crying and shaking. That can’t happen again. Harry’s reminded of Luke’s presence when Luke rolls his hips against Harry’s, causing Harry to moan. “Come on, it’ll feel so good.” Luke groans, his voice low. He drops his head to Harry’s neck, sucking on the pale flesh. Harry takes a deep breath, his arms still by his side.

Girls have sex all the time while they’re ovulating and not all of them get pregnant, Harry thinks. It’s only a small risk and Harry thinks it’s worth it. Harry feels as Luke pulls away from his neck, his hand moving to Harry’s zipper. Harry nods quickly, biting his lip.

“Okay."


	7. Chapter 7: Cupidus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Cinnamon Girl/ Lana Del Ray 
> 
> \- Happiness is a Butterfly/ Lana Del Ray

Chapter 7: Cupidus

July 17

"Zayn.” Liam whispers, gently poking Zayn’s chest. Zayn is sleeping on his back, his head thrown to the side to face Liam. Zayn scrunches up his nose, moving his head to the other side. It’s cold in the flat, despite it being almost 21°C outside. After staying up all night with Louis last night, talking about Harry’s date, Liam and Zayn didn’t go to bed until 2 am. Despite that, Liam is up and ready to go at 8 am on a Sunday.

“Wake up, I need to ask you something,” Liam whispers, moving onto his side. He uses his left hand to prop his head up, the other hand reaching out to brush Zayn’s hair from his face. Zayn looks gorgeous like this, Liam thinks. He isn’t sure how he got so lucky, but he can’t wait to live in their own house together for the rest of their lives. He’s been completely gone for Zayn since he was 16, he doesn’t see it changing anytime soon. Zayn sighs, opening his eyes and glaring at Liam.

“Why can’t you ask me when I wake up at 11 am?” Zayn grumbles, his voice thick with sleep. Unlike Liam, Zayn needs a little bit more sleep before he can function. He isn’t sure how someone like him ended up with such a morning person, but he secretly loves the way Liam always wakes him up, ready to start the day. Liam smiles, his eyes crinkling in the corners. “Because I came to a very interesting conclusion this morning,” Liam answers, watching as Zayn crosses his arms over his chest to shield it from the cold. He really should start wearing other clothes besides his briefs when he goes to bed, but he likes the feeling of Liam’s skin against his when they sleep.

“Why are you thinking at 8 am?” Zayn asks. Liam quickly gets out of bed, walking to their windowsill. He grabs the watering can from the windowsill, walking out of the bedroom and into the adjacent bathroom that they share with Harry. Zayn waits patiently as Liam fills the watering can and slowly carries it back to the bedroom. “Because I couldn’t sleep. And I asked myself why I couldn’t sleep and I realized it was because Louis kept us up all night worrying about Harry.” Liam answers, making his way to each of their plants. He angles the can just right, so he can watch the water fall off of the leaves, down the stem, and into the soil packed into the pot.

Liam loves his plants, but Zayn loves watching Liam water them even more. Liam’s so gentle with the plants, watering them every day, singing to them when they look somewhat droopy, leaving the windows open so they get sun. Zayn continues watching, eyeing Liam’s biceps as they flex under the weight of the full watering can. “Then, I asked myself why Louis was so worried about Harry’s date.” He says, placing the can back on the windowsill. Zayn yawns, sitting up in bed. The sheets cover his lap, bearing his chest to the world. “Because Harry tends to pick the worst dates,” Zayn answers, watching as Liam shakes his head.

“No, not really. They’re only bad dates because Louis thinks they’re bad dates.” Liam says, traipsing over to the bed. Zayn can tell that the lack of sleep has caught up to him now, he knows Liam will end up falling back asleep once he gets back into the warm bed. “What do you mean?” Zayn asks, keeping his eyes on Liam. “Think about it. It’s not like Harry’s been assaulted on a date or stood up. Nothing bad has happened to him on a date. The only reason we think he has bad dates is because of Louis.” Liam urges, pulling the blanket over his body.

Zayn furrows his eyebrows. He doesn’t know what Liam is talking about, he must be talking out of his head. He’s right when he says Harry’s never been assaulted on a date or stood up, all of his dates have gone relatively well. But what does Louis have to do with that? “I’m not following you,” Zayn says, listening as Liam groans. It’s so easy for Liam to see, why can’t Zayn see it? More importantly, why can’t Harry and Louis see it? “Louis decides from the get-go that Harry’s dates are bad, simply because he doesn’t want Harry to go on dates. Louis spends the whole week before the date shit-talking to us about how he knows the guy is bad or he thinks he’s too poor or too rugged for Harry. So when Harry tells us about the date, we’ve already heard so much bad about the guy from Louis that we’re biased. I think Harry is too, that’s why he’s never gone on more than 3 dates with someone. Louis gets in our heads.”

Zayn raises an eyebrow, thinking back all the way to the first month after they graduated. Liam had tried to set Harry up with one of their friends, he thought he’d be really good for Harry. They all approved… Except for Louis. Louis immediately hated the guy, shit-talking his posh shoes and the way he pronounced certain words. When Louis shit-talks about someone, he picks up on the tiniest things. He complains about things that aren’t a big deal, but when you put them all together, you find out you really can’t stand the guy. Despite this, Harry went on the date. When he came back, he almost strangled Louis for getting into his head. Harry said the only thing he could focus on the whole date was the way he pronounced “Exactly.”. For the rest of the month, Louis made sure to pronounce the T in that word, driving Harry crazy.

Now that Zayn thinks about it, Liam’s right. But why would Louis do that? Harry’s his best friend, doesn’t he want him to find someone? When Zayn and Liam were just friends, Zayn didn’t want Liam to date anyone else, but that was different. Zayn was in love with Liam.

Oh.

Zayn’s eyes widen, his head snapping to face Liam. Liam is smiling wide at Zayn, proud that he’s finally come to the same conclusion. “Louis’s in lov-“

“Are you done discussing conspiracy theories about me?” Louis asks, leaning against the doorframe. He’s been awake ever since Liam filled the water can up, the running water waking Louis up to pee. When he was in the bathroom, he heard every word of Liam and Zayn’s conversation, listening in to see what they had to say about him. They’re wrong, they’re both wrong. Louis has nothing to do with why Harry’s dates don’t work out. Harry’s dates don’t work out because Harry picks the wrong people. Liam and Zayn turn to look at the doorframe, smiling nervously.

“Oh, we were just uh, discussing the wedding.” Liam lies, chuckling nervously. Louis rolls his eyes, pushing off of the frame and turning to walk into the kitchen. Louis needs to get away from the lovebirds/conspiracy theorists, he needs to go to Niall’s. Niall is always supportive, he never tries to blame Harry’s failure in the love department on Louis.

_

“Sir? You need to leave.” A voice says, waking Harry up. Harry stirs in his sleep, not quite ready to open his eyes. He can already see the light shining through his eyelids and he can feel the soreness in his muscles from sleeping on the hard floor. Harry rolls over on his side, feeling his nose bump into something hard and leathery. Harry’s body stills, his eyes shooting open. His eyes meet a black leather boot in front of his face.

What?

Harry slowly lifts his head, seeing black pants, a neon yellow vest, and eventually stopping when he sees the face of a very angry policeman. Harry sits up straight, feeling his back bump against Luke’s sleeping body. “You’re trespassing on private property, you can’t sleep here.” The cop informs Harry, shining the flashlight on his face. Okay, is the flashlight necessary? It’s light outside.

Harry gulps, feeling as Luke stirs in his sleep. They must’ve fallen asleep here last night. “I-I’m sorry, we didn’t mean to. I came to take pictures.” Harry answers, his voice shaky. He’s never been good with authority figures and he’s certainly never been in trouble with the law. The cop’s eyes land on the empty bottle of lube rolling around on the floor. He clears his throat, clicking off the flashlight. “Right, pictures.” He says, causing Harry to blush.

Great, now the cop thinks he’s a slut and a delinquent. “Don’t make me come back.” The cop says, walking out of the building. Harry lets out the breath he was unknowingly holding, turning to face a still sleeping Luke. He’s shirtless, his shirt from last night torn and tattered. Last night was somehow the best night of Harry’s life, despite the start of the date. After letting Luke fuck him several times, they made their way up to the top of the building, taking even more pictures of the moon. Luke was completely different from what Harry remembered.

“Luke, wake up,” Harry whispers, shaking Luke gently. He hates waking people up, especially when he barely knows them. Luke quickly wakes up, sitting up. He rubs his eyes, yawning. The claw marks on his back cause Harry to blush, so he tries not to focus on them too much. “Do you care to drop me off? I want to get started on editing the pictures from last night.” Harry says, standing up from the blanket. He throws his camera strap over his neck, gathering the lenses in his hands.

When he stands up, he can feel Luke’s liquid from the night before leak out into his briefs, causing him to almost gag. That’s why he never goes bareback, it’s such a mess to clean up, never mind the risk. Harry will have to get tested soon. He hasn’t gotten tested in a while because he hasn’t slept with anyone in a while, thanks to Louis, but all of that is about to change. Harry hopes Luke had as much fun as he did, he really wants to see him again. After last night, Harry doesn’t feel so crazy for considering asking Luke to move in with him.

Harry thinks Luke might just be crazy enough to do it.

After the boys gather their things, they get into the car and drive to Harry’s flat. Harry hasn’t worked enough courage to ask Luke, but he knows he needs to. He doesn’t want to have a stranger move in with him, he’d rather have someone he knows. As they pull up to the flat, Harry takes a deep breath. “Luke, you might think I’m crazy for this, but I have to ask you something.” Harry starts, his voice quiet. Luke puts the car in park, turning to face Harry. His face is still riddled with sleep, his voice still deep. “What’s up?” He asks, reaching out to touch Harry’s hand.

Harry smiles nervously, looking down at his lap. He can’t believe he’s doing this, this isn’t like him. The car is silent, except for the faint sound of music on the radio. “My roommates are moving out in 2 weeks and I have to have someone move in so I can afford the rent. You don’t have to, but I thought it would be fun if maybe you moved in.” Harry says, his voice shaky. What has gotten into him? He’s never done anything like this. Luke will surely think he’s insane. Who asks someone to move in after the first date?

Luke is silent for a moment, tapping his thumb on the steering wheel. After a few moments pass, Harry starts to give up. He shouldn’t have asked. Luke is never going to want to see him after this. Harry’s hand reaches for the door, ready to accept defeat.


	8. Chapter 8: Sollicitus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Not in That Way/ Sam Smith
> 
> \- Falling for U/ Peachy & mxmtoon
> 
> \- Jesus Christ 2005 God Bless America/ The 1975

Chapter 8: Sollicitus

“How was it?” Liam asks, standing in the kitchen. His back is to the door, but he knows Harry has just come in. Zayn and Louis are on the couch, playing video games today. When Harry comes in, Louis doesn’t even look at him. He keeps his eyes on the screen, ignoring the smell of lube and sex that blows past him when Harry walks into the kitchen. Harry smiles, slowly sitting down on the barstool at the island. Louis also chooses to ignore the way Harry grimaces when he sits down.

“Oh, it was amazing. The dinner was alright, it wasn’t anything special. But he took me to an abandoned mental institution so I could take some really cool pictures.” Harry says, his smile almost too big for his face. His suit is wrinkled and dirty, which is a shame because this is the only nice suit he has. His hair is a tangled mess from the way Luke pulled his hair, his back is sore from sleeping on the floor, his thighs are burning from the way he rode Luke, and his throat is sore from screaming all night. He’ll have to take a very relaxing bath before he starts the rest of his day.

Harry also wants to tell Liam and Zayn that Luke agreed to move in, but he’ll only be able to stay during the weekend. He travels for work during the week, meaning Harry will be on his own Monday-Friday, but it’s better than nothing. Harry was reluctant at first, but Luke convinced him that it’ll be fun living together. Harry was surprised that Luke didn’t mention anything about having to get out of his lease at his other flat, but he didn’t want to ask many questions. He was just glad that he wouldn’t be alone every day. But he can’t tell them now, because he doesn’t want Louis to know. He knows Louis will make smart remarks and he doesn’t want to listen to them.

Harry knows what he’s doing, he doesn’t need Louis’s help.

Louis snorts, dropping his controller on the couch. “Wow, so all I have to do to get in your pants is take you somewhere where you can take pictures?” Louis asks, a slight edge to his voice. Zayn’s eyes shift from Louis to Liam, and then to Harry. Liam tenses in his spot, halting his movements on the eggs in the pan. Harry sucks in a sharp breath, feeling as tears sting his eyes. What is up with Louis? He’s never been this harsh. Everyone is silent, except for Harry, who mumbles out a quiet, “Deal.”, as a reminder to Louis that if he goes any further, Harry will be taking his Range Rover for a spin.

Louis watches as Harry stands up from the stool, carrying his camera and equipment to his room. Louis sighs, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbing his hands over his face. He hadn’t meant to say that, it just came out. He has to get control of himself, he’s hurting Harry and he hates it. He’s never been this way, he’s just stressed. Still, that doesn’t give him an excuse to act like this. He loves Harry, he’s his best friend. “What the fuck, Lou?” Zayn asks, causing Louis to shake his head, lifting it up. “I know.” Louis mumbles, standing up.

Zayn and Liam stay silent as Louis makes his way to Harry’s bedroom, slowly lifting his hand to knock. It’s silent for a couple more moments before Harry opens the door. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks are wet. The sight takes Louis back 7 years, when Harry showed up at his doorstep after that jerk hurt him because he turned him down. Louis never wants to be the reason Harry is upset because if he is, that makes him no better than the very person Louis hates. Harry has changed, he’s now in a white t-shirt and sweat pants.

This is when Harry looks his best, Louis thinks. Louis takes a deep breath, trying to muster up a small smile. “Haz, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was only joking.” Louis says, watching as Harry sniffles. Harry walks back to his desk, sitting down at his computer. He’s editing the pictures, remembering last night. It’s the only reason he’s not even more distraught over what Louis said. “No, I was taught growing up that there’s always a least a little truth in a joke,” Harry mumbles, trying not to focus on Louis sitting on his bed.

Louis frowns, his legs dangling off the edge of the bed. “Hey, that’s not fair. You know I always joke with you. I just… Want you to be careful, that’s all.” Louis says, watching as Harry shakes his head. “No, you want me all to yourself, Lou. You’re terrified that I’m going to find someone and leave you behind. I could never do that, you’re my best friend.” Harry explains. In his head, that’s truly the reason Louis is like this. Harry and Louis have always been close, so it makes sense that Louis would be threatened by someone else coming along and stealing Harry from Louis. But that isn’t okay, Harry doesn’t belong to Louis. He’s allowed to date and to have other friends.

Louis keeps his eyes on Harry, focusing on a hickey in the crook of his neck. It makes his skin crawl, but he decides to keep his mouth shut. He figures he’s already done enough damage. He stands up from the bed, walking to the door. He has to get away from Harry, he has to get away from Zayn, and he has to get away from Liam. He needs to get drunk with Niall.

_

“Niall, lad, you should’ve seen him. I completely broke his heart.” Louis says, taking another sip of his beer. He’s been talking to Niall for the past hour, still heartbroken that he upset Harry. Niall isn’t sure why it’s such a big deal, friends get in arguments all the time. He’s never seen someone so bothered by their friend going on a date. It’s a little weird if you ask Niall, but then again, Niall’s never been as close with someone as Harry and Louis are. Niall is the type of guy that has a lot of friends to go party with, but he doesn’t have a lot of close friends. Niall likes it that way, much like Louis likes it.

Louis prefers his circle to be small in his private life. In his public life, he’s surrounded by other players, managers, girls who haven’t quite caught on that he’s gay, and guys who are convinced they can make a husband out of Louis. Louis doesn’t mind it, but it’s refreshing to come home and only have a select few people that truly know him. “Why is it such a big deal to you that Harry goes on a date?” Niall asks, keeping his eyes on the tv. He’s watching a rerun of one of their games from last season, critiquing Louis’s form.

“I told you, I just want to make sure he’s safe,” Louis says, watching Niall roll his eyes. “Right, that’s what you say, but I don’t think it’s the real reason,” Niall says, muting the tv and turning to face Louis. Louis furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. He has no idea what Niall is talking about, there’s not another reason. Louis finishes off his beer, standing up and walking into the kitchen to throw it away.

“You’re insane.” Louis mumbles, his back to Niall. Niall chuckles, propping his feet up on the couch. Niall has been picking up on certain things lately, making connections. He vaguely remembers a conversation between him and Harry a year ago, when Harry mentioned something about Louis. Niall doesn’t remember the details, but he remembers enough to form his own theory. “I think,” Niall starts, causing Louis to turn around, his back against the counter. “That you have a crush on Harry.”

Louis laughs, throwing his head back. A crush? What is this, year 4? Louis most definitely does not have a _crush_ on Harry. Niall is ridiculous, he’s insane. He’s never heard such nonsense. “No, Niall, I do not have a childish crush on my best friend,” Louis reassures him, reaching in the fridge to grab another beer. If Niall keeps on, Louis will have to exile himself from all of his friends, who have all seemingly lost their minds. Can’t a guy simply be worried for his friend’s well-being without it being turned into a crush?

Niall’s next words cause Louis’s hair on the back of his neck to stand up, his heart rate to quicken, his stomach to churn.

“Okay, you’re in love with Harry.”

_

After Harry finishes editing his photos, he uploads them to his gallery, quite proud of himself. He’d always wanted to take pictures like that, but he’d never gotten the chance to. Harry likes to think that this could be a hobby of Luke and Harry’s. Explore new places, take pictures, end the night with mind-blowing sex, and waking up together in the morning. They’d have to do that on the weekends, of course. Harry isn’t sure about staying alone during the week, but he knows Louis is only a 10-minute drive away. Louis would make it a 5-minute drive if Harry was in trouble, so he feels safe throughout the week.

But when Louis starts traveling for games, he’ll be away most of the time, so Harry will have to learn how to be okay completely alone. Niall will be traveling with Louis, Liam and Zayn will be 2 hours away, and Luke will be wherever his job takes him. Harry will just have to invest in security cameras and locks. Harry sighs, standing up from his desk. He really needs to shower and rid his body of last night’s remnants, but he finds himself hesitant. Harry quite likes the way his hair is still tangled, his skin is still freshly bruised, and the way his thighs have to clamp together to prevent Luke’s release from spilling out into Harry’s sweatpants.

Harry makes his way to the bathroom anyway, humming his favorite song. He’s in a much better mood than he was when Louis was here. He feels bad for Louis, he never wants him to feel like he’s being left behind. Of course, he’s upset. Two of his best friends are getting married and moving away, his other best friend is starting a new relationship, and Niall’s… Well, Niall. Harry thinks he might just have to surprise Louis one day, making him break out of his strict regime, ordering pizza and spending the whole night watching movies. Usually, they reserve that for the weekend, but Harry thinks this justifies a change in schedule.

Harry strips off his clothes, throwing them in a pile on the tiled floor. He adjusts the shower water, instantly moaning as the warmth touches his skin. He didn’t realize how sore his back was, but as the water hits his skin, he’s reminded that he slept on the floor last night. He still isn’t sure why Luke didn’t just take them back to his place, but soon, he won’t have to worry about that anymore.

Soon, he’ll be waking up with Luke, making breakfast together, exploring abandoned buildings, and having their own movie nights. Harry’s never been more thankful for second chances and changed men. He never imagined that he’d be with Luke after all those years, but now, he doesn’t see why he didn’t give him a second chance sooner.


	9. Chapter 9: Inventio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Hoax/ Taylor Swift
> 
> \- Friends/ Ed Sheeran

Chapter 9: Inventio

July 20 

It’s been 3 days since Harry saw Louis, which is unusual for the pair. Harry usually stops by after practice at least once a week, coupled with their weekly breakfast dates and movie dates. Up until now, the pair have been completely codependent. Harry has chalked Louis’s absence up to him simply being busy with practice, but he can’t help but be sad about it. He doesn’t feel like they ended things well the last time they saw each other, so he hopes Louis isn’t upset with him. Harry’s been distracting himself by texting Luke, preparing for him to move in.

Luke’s been amazing, even better than Harry ever would’ve imagined he’d be. When Luke popped up on Harry’s newfound Tinder account, he was hesitant. He couldn’t help but think of what happened all those years ago. Harry immediately ran to the toilet, throwing his lunch up. After cleaning up, he went back to his screen, examining Luke’s online presence. Most of his pictures were of him in the mirror, his phone covering his face. Some of them were pictures with a crowd, his face turned away. Harry wouldn’t have known it was him if it hadn’t been for the small tattoo on his hand. The same hand that slid between Harry’s thighs when he had been only 16, the same one that wrapped around his throat when he refused to go any further with the boy.

But when Harry swallowed those memories down, he quickly realized that in his bio, Luke stated that he was a lawyer. It also said he was a fan of anything involving Nicolas Sparks movies, breakfast foods, and well, men. It was enough to convince Harry to swipe right. After all, Harry never thought that after he swiped, the screen would be filled with their profile pictures, paired with the option to send a message, announcing that the two had matched. When Harry saw that, he was confused. Why would Luke swipe right on him? Harry didn’t think Luke even remembered him, much less thought he was attractive. So when Luke sent Harry a message, Harry had to see the changed man for himself, leading to their first date.

That’s also why he was hesitant to tell Louis about the date. Louis was long gone by the time Luke tried to pursue Harry, so Louis never knew anything but his name and what he had done. Harry didn’t want Louis to find out that he gave Luke another chance, Louis would surely think Harry’s crazy. Harry isn’t crazy, he’s just willing to give second chances. That’s why Harry is just going to pretend that he’s never met Luke before their first date, it’s in Louis’s best interest. Louis’s already so stressed, he doesn’t need anything else to worry about.

Alas, Louis has found something else to worry about. That something else just so happens to be Harry. It’s been 3 days since Niall announced that he believed Louis is in love with Harry. At first, Louis denied it, swearing up and down that he’s purely friend with Harry. If Louis was in love with Harry, he’d know it.

But then, Louis thought about it more. Is he in love with Harry? How do you distinguish between friend love and soulmate love? Louis reckons it has something to do with whether or not you have wet dreams about them, but he’d never admit it out loud. Louis has spent the past 3 days trying to think it through. Does he enjoy being around Harry? Of course. Does he care about Harry? Absolutely. Does he care about Harry’s happiness and success? No doubt. The next set of questions were a little harder for Louis to answer.

Could he see his life without Harry in it? Not at all. Would he be able to watch Harry marry someone else? Fuck, no. Does he want to kiss Harry? That and more! Does he want to spend the rest of his life with Harry? He’d want nothing more.

So, Louis concluded that Niall was right. But he’d never, ever confess that. Even if he is in love with Harry, what good would it do to tell him? It’d only make things awkward. Harry doesn’t feel the same way about Louis. If he did, he wouldn’t be looking to spend his time with other men. Even if Harry did feel the same way, there’s nothing they can do about it. Louis is gone all the time for the team, Harry has always told him that he thinks he’s too needy to be in a long-distance relationship. Then again, he’d only been gone maybe 3 days out of the week, so maybe they could make it work.

Why is Louis even thinking about this? This is wrong. Harry is his best friend, nothing more. Louis is sure this is just a phase, he’ll fuck someone else and come to his senses. He’d never risk losing Harry as a best friend, he’d rather die alone than to lose Harry. Therefore proving Niall’s point, Louis is indeed in love with Harry.

Louis scowls as he makes his tea, watching the steam climb into the air. He’s got to get out of his head. He had a long day at practice today, he needs to relax and prepare for tomorrow. Louis’s coach had announced that Billy Sharp was injured during United’s last practice, easing some of the pressure off of Louis, but not all of it. That buys Louis at least a couple of weeks after the season starts to get a leg up on his rival team, but he still needs to be prepared for when Billy comes back.

Louis is pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of his front door opening, causing him to immediately be on guard. No one should be coming over tonight, he made sure of that. He’s been ignoring all of Harry’s texts and calls, not ready to face him. He isn’t sure if he can handle seeing Harry so soon after his revelation. Sure, he feels bad about dodging all of Harry’s attempts to hang out, but Louis’s also sure Harry is busy with his head up his new boyfriend’s ass. Louis and Niall only hang out after practice on Fridays, so he knows it isn’t Niall. Liam and Zayn are too busy planning their wedding and their move to think about anyone else, so it definitely isn’t them.

Louis slowly walks out of his kitchen, rounding the corner until he sees Harry standing in the doorway, trying to balance a pizza box and a pack of Louis’s favorite beer. Harry keeps his eyes on the floor, where he’s trying to kick off his crusty white vans that Louis bought him so long ago. Harry is mumbling under his breath, unaware of Louis’s presence. Every time Harry bends over to take his shoes off, the pizza slides around in the box, the beer sloshes in the cans. Louis leans against the corner, crossing his arms over his chest, watching Harry struggle.

What is Harry doing here? He comes over unannounced all the time, but this is different. They argued the last time they were together, does this mean Harry forgives Louis? Louis clears his throat, watching as Harry’s head snaps up, his eyes wide. Once he realizes the sound came from Louis, a smile breaks out onto his face. “A little help, Lou?” Harry suggests, growing exasperated by his struggles. Louis pushes himself off the wall, making his way to Harry and grabbing the pizza and the beer.

Once Harry’s hands are free, he bends down and unlaces his shoes, causing Louis to chuckle and shake his head. He carries Harry’s party favors to the kitchen, turning his tea off. It doesn’t look like he’s going to be going to bed anytime soon, so he won’t be needing it yet. “You do know you could just kick your shoes off like the rest of us?” Louis teases, making his way back into his main room with a plate of pizza for both of them. Harry is now sitting on the couch, running his fingers through his greasy hair. Harry shrugs, reaching his hand out to grab the plate. “Don’t want to ruin ‘em.”

Louis looks back at the shoes, raising an eyebrow. Louis bought them for Harry almost 5 years ago, after Harry’s feet grew too big to steal Louis’s shoes. 5 years ago, they were absolutely pristine. Inside and out. Now, the soles are brown and stained, the bumper of the vans stained with grass, and the laces are knotted. Louis looks back over at Harry, who’s now stuffing his face with the pizza. “Looks like they’re already ruined.” Louis mumbles, taking his place beside Harry.

Harry takes the liberty of picking a movie, searching for what seems like ages before finally landing on “Just Friends”. They’ve watched this movie together a million times, laughing and cuddling under the blankets. But now, Louis finds himself not wanting to watch it. It’s a movie about a guy falling in love with his best friend, how is Louis supposed to watch this with Harry now? But before Louis can protest the movie choice, Harry has snuggled up against Louis’s shoulder, content with his choice. Louis doesn’t have it in him to ask him to switch the movie, so he eats his pizza and watches the movie in silence.

Louis lowers his gaze to Harry’s curly hair. This feels different. Louis and Harry cuddle all the time, they have since they were kids. It’s never been weird or uncomfortable, but now, Louis finds himself itching to get away. His hands are sweaty, his heart is racing, and his cheeks are burning hot. Why is he acting like this? He’s never acted like this. Louis breathes out a shaky breath, closing his eyes. He has to get ahold of himself. Louis opens his eyes, focusing his gaze on the tv. Harry focuses on the opening scene, laughing and shifting against Louis anytime anything funny happens. Louis clenches his jaw, forcing himself to ignore the way Harry’s hand is resting on his thigh.

Halfway through the movie, Louis feels Harry slump against him, signaling that the boy is asleep. Louis breathes a breath of relief at the discovery. Louis no longer has to suffer through this movie that hits so close to home, he can simply go to bed and forget about tonight. But he can’t leave Harry here. Harry’s back is sensitive, he wakes up with an aching back anytime he sleeps on the couch.

Louis debates on what to do. Should he wake Harry up and invite him to come to bed with him? They’ve had sleepovers before, they’ve shared the bed several times before. But Louis didn’t know he was in love with Harry during those times. Should he leave Harry on the couch to deal with an aching back in the morning? Louis glances down at Harry, watching as a stray hair lingers on his cheek, dancing with every breath Harry breathes.

He can’t leave Harry alone on the couch. Louis knows how cold the downstairs level can get, it’d be cruel to leave him alone. So, Louis slowly reaches out, brushing the hair off of Harry’s sleepy face. Harry looks so beautiful like this, how has Louis never noticed? He’s been attracted to Harry before and even had a small crush, but it’s never been like this. It’s never been this intense.

“H, wake up.” Louis whispers, watching as Harry’s nose scrunches up and his eyebrows furrow together. Harry snuggles deeper into Louis, showing no sign of waking up. Louis would carry him to bed like he did when they were teenagers, when Harry was smaller than Louis, but he doesn’t feel like throwing his back out right before the season starts.

Louis moves his hand to Harry’s curls, wrapping one of them between his thumb and forefinger, giving it a harsh tug. With that, Harry jumps up, his hand flying to his head. “Ow! What’d you do that for?” Harry asks, his accent thickened with sleep. Louis fights his smile back, standing up off the couch. He’s too tired to clean up their mess tonight, he’ll have to clean before practice tomorrow. “Come to bed,” Louis states, making his way up the stairs. Harry doesn’t argue, too tired to even think about driving home. There’s nothing he’d rather do than to cuddle up with his best friend, slowly drifting off to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10: Inconcinnus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Watch you sleep/ girl in red
> 
> \- Ivy/ Mabel
> 
> \- Peace/ Taylor Swift

Chapter 10: Inconcinnus

July 20

Once they reach the top of the stairs, Louis stands at the edge of the bed. Harry rubs the sleep from his eyes before moving his hands to the bottom of his shirt. Normally, he sleeps naked, but he leaves a t-shirt and boxers on for Louis’s sake. Harry takes off his shirt, not wanting to sleep in it and get it wrinkled. Louis is still standing at the edge of the bed, forcing himself to focus on anything but Harry. Harry doesn’t notice, instead, going to Louis’s drawers, digging through them until he finds a t-shirt he can wear.

They share clothes all the time, this isn’t anything new. Harry loves the feeling of wearing Louis’s shirts. They used to be big on him when they were younger, but now they fit Harry skin-tight, wrapping him up in Louis’s scent and keeping him warm. Harry loves the way Louis smells. The only way he can describe it is… Home. Louis smells like home. Harry turns to face Louis, holding the shirt in his hand. “Are you not going to change?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. Normally, Louis is the first one undressed, ready to get into bed. Now, Louis is just standing at the bed, gnawing on his bottom lip and staring at Harry. Harry’s never seen Louis like this, it’s strange.

Louis chuckles nervously. “Oh, I’m going to sleep in this.” He answers. Harry eyes Louis up and down, taking note of the way his black skinny jeans are clinging to his plushy thighs, his shirt wrapped around his big arms. Louis is going to sleep in that? That’s nonsense. Harry throws his (Louis’s) shirt over his shoulder, making his way to Louis. He isn’t sure what’s gotten into Louis, but he knows he wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping in those clothes. Once Harry comes face to face with Louis, his hands move to the bottom of Louis’s shirt. He starts tugging up, causing Louis to panic.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks, frantically. Harry continues his actions, flashing Louis’s pale belly. Louis’s hands automatically go to cover himself, his eyes wide. No, Harry cannot be shirtless and trying to take Louis’s shirt off. It can’t happen, Louis will never be able to get rid of his boner. Harry frowns, pushing Louis’s hands away. “Lou, what the hell is wrong with you? ‘Ve you gone insane? I’ve seen you naked, don’t act shy.” He scolds, eventually pushing Louis’s shirt up enough to show his pecs.

Louis takes a deep breath, watching as Harry examines him. Harry’s eyes finally meet Louis’s, a smile on his face. Louis tries to restrain himself when Harry slowly lifts Louis’s shirt over his head, leaving his chest completely exposed. Louis keeps his eyes on Harry’s, never breaking eye contact. Louis can feel the blood rushing to his cock, he has to stop it. It can’t happen. “There you go. You need me to take your pants off for you too?”

“No!” Louis shouts, biting the inside of his cheek. If Harry takes Louis’s pants off, he’ll surely combust. Harry shakes his head, laughing and pointing his finger at Louis. “You’re strange.” He laughs, his fingers lowering to unbutton his jeans. Louis groans, turning around so that his back is to Harry. He quickly unzips his jeans, hooking his thumbs in the waistband and pulling them down. Once his jeans are around his ankles, he kicks them to the side, turning around again.

Harry is standing in his shorts, his shirt still thrown over his shoulder. Louis gulps, feeling as sweat beads around his hairline. This is the absolute last time he’s letting Harry spend the night here. Louis thinks he might just die. Harry slides the shirt over his head before crawling onto the bed. Louis takes his place on the other side, trying to stay as far away from Harry as possible. Of course, Harry is in the mood to cuddle, so he throws his leg around Louis’s waist, resting his head on Louis’s chest. This isn’t the first time this has happened, Harry loves to be close to Louis. It’s never bothered Louis and it’s certainly never caused Louis to pop a boner, but it is now. Louis prays to whatever god is out there that Harry won’t bump his knee on Louis’s throbbing cock. Louis will definitely die if that happens.

_

July 21

Louis is the first to wake up, still in the position they were in last night. Louis’s never slept so good, maybe he’ll have to invite Harry over more often. Louis’s arm is strewn across Harry’s broad shoulders, completely numb. He doesn’t mind, he just wants to hold Harry close to him. Louis leaves his eyes closed, turning his head to nuzzle in Harry’s curls. Louis inhales the scent, practically moaning when the smell fills his nose. Harry always smells so good, it reminds Louis of how his mum smells. Louis catches himself, his eyes flying open.

What on earth is he _doing_? He has to get up, he can’t lay in bed and cuddle Harry. That most definitely crosses the line between friends and boyfriends. Louis moves as quickly as he can with Harry’s body on top of him, causing Harry to groan and mumble in his sleep. Louis stands beside the bed, looking down at the bed. Harry is laying on his stomach, still clothed in his shorts and Louis’s t-shirt. His cheek is pressed against the bed, his hair falling around his face.

He looks quite beautiful like this, Louis thinks.

_Stop_.

Louis turns to go downstairs, catching his toe on the corner of the bed frame. “FUCK.” Louis shouts, doubling over in pain. The pain is shooting from his big toe all the way to Louis’s head, sending chills down his spine. Why does that always hurt so much? His toenail is surely peeled back, Louis thinks. Harry wakes up, startled. He looks around the room, his eyes wide with fear. When he finally realizes it’s just Louis, he sighs. “Lou, what’ve you done now?”

Louis rolls his eyes, bending down to inspect his injured toe. Alright, it doesn’t look as bad as it felt, but still, it warranted every bit of Louis’s reaction. He stands back up, looking at Harry. Harry’s sitting on the bed, the sheets now covering his lower half. Louis wonders why Harry decided to put the sheets over him, they weren’t on him when Louis woke up. “I hit my toe,” Louis mumbles, looking over to his alarm clock. It’s 8:30, meaning Louis needs to start getting ready for practice. He knows he’ll be late, the first time since he started playing professionally 2 years ago.

“Shit, I’m gonna be late,” Louis mumbles, causing Harry to frown. Louis won’t have time to eat breakfast, he can’t go from 9:00 last night to 1 this afternoon without food. He won’t make it through practice long enough to reach his lunch break. “Do you want me to bring you breakfast?” Harry asks. He can pick up something after Louis leaves and take it to the field. He doesn’t mind, he doesn’t have anything to do this morning. Harry watches as Louis scurries around the room, gathering his uniform in his hands. Louis freezes as soon as Harry says that, turning around to face him. “That’s a little domestic, don’t you think?” He asks, causing Harry to laugh. Domestic? Louis thinks Harry bringing him breakfast to work is domestic? They’ve done more domestic things than that, they must be married in Louis’s head.

Harry goes to stand up, suddenly remembering his small issue. Well, not small. He looks down at his lap, readjusting the sheets. This morning, he woke up with a boner. That’s never happened to him, he’s never had morning wood. Harry doesn’t remember dreaming of anything, but apparently, he did. Harry decides to stay in bed while Louis brushes his teeth, spitting the paste in the sink. “Don’t forget to text Niall and tell him you’re gonna be late. He’ll send the hounds out for you if you don’t.” Harry teases, watching as Louis slips his uniform on. Harry quite likes the way Louis likes in his uniform.

He always has.

Once Louis’s dressed, he makes his way to the bed, leaning down and pressing a kiss to Harry’s head. “Love you, I’ll see you when I get home.” Louis mumbles, turning to walk out of the room. Harry raises an eyebrow, his cheeks burning. What just happened? Louis has never done that. Now that Harry’s thinking about it, Louis has never even said he loves Harry, much less kissed him on the head. Maybe he’s just feeling sentimental this morning. “I love you… Too? I guess?” Harry says as Louis walks out of the room. There’s a moment of silence before Louis walks back into the room, his eyes wide. His mouth is dropped open, his heads in the air beside his head. “I… Don’t know why I did that. It just… Felt right.” Louis says, completely mortified. What the hell did he just do? He didn’t plan on doing it, it just happened before he could catch it.

They were just so domestic this morning. Sleeping in the same bed, cuddling together, waking up together, Louis getting ready for work while Harry was still in bed. They’ve done it a million times before, but it felt different this time. Harry keeps his eyebrow raised. “Felt right?” He asks, laughing quietly. He’s never seen Louis like this before. Louis purses his lips together, pinching the bridge of his nose. He has to get out of here and go to practice before he says anything worse.

_

After Louis left for practice, Harry took a little time to process what happened. Louis had been acting weird all night, he acted like he didn’t want to be near Harry. It’s unlike Louis. Normally, after a hard day at practice, Louis loves to be cuddled and pampered by Harry. Harry has spent many nights with Louis, doing face masks and painting Louis’s toenails. Harry tried to get Louis to let him paint his fingernails, but Louis insisted he was just fine with his toes being painted.

Maybe Louis had a hard day at practice and just wanted to be alone. Harry understands that. Sometimes you don’t even want your closest friends around after a bad day. Harry doesn’t take it personally. After an hour of relishing in Louis’s luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets, he forces himself to get out of the bed. He knows Louis is beyond tired when he gets off practice, so the least he can do to help out is to make his bed. Harry throws the pillows on the floor, pulling the blankets back and rearranging the sheets.

Before he can put the blankets back, Harry’s phone rings. Without checking the ID, Harry answers it. He traps the phone between his shoulder and his ear, continuing to make the bed. “Good morning, love.” Luke’s voice rings out over the speaker. Harry smiles at his voice, suddenly feeling warm all over. He hasn’t heard from Luke since Monday, which was 2 days ago. Harry tried not to overthink it, but he was growing worried Luke was regretting the date and regretting saying yes to moving in. “Good morning,” Harry says, picking the pillows up and putting them on the soft bed.

“I wanted to ask if you’re free Saturday night,” Luke says, causing Harry to raise his eyebrow. What has Luke got planned for them? He’s curious, but he can’t go Saturday. That’s his and Louis’s night. He ditched Louis last weekend, he doesn’t want to make a habit of it. “Not Saturday, but I am Friday night,” Harry says, picking his clothes up off the floor. Louis won’t mind if he wears his shirt home, Louis will get it back soon enough. Luke hums in disapproval. “I already made reservations for Saturday.” He says.

What? Why would he do that? Harry frowns, slipping his shoes on. He’s cleaned up Louis’s room enough so when he comes home he can go straight to bed. “You made reservations without asking me?” Harry says, walking downstairs. What was Luke thinking? “I’m sorry, the place is normally booked for weddings and special occasions. I’ve been trying to get in for months now, so I took the first opportunity I saw. I’d really like to take you, Harry.” Luke says. Harry appreciates that Luke wants to take him somewhere nice and actually wants to take him out, but he feels bad for ditching Louis. Harry doesn’t want to upset Louis, but Luke’s made reservations. He seems really excited about it, Harry doesn’t want to disappoint or upset him.

Harry sighs, opening the front door and locking it behind him. He’ll just have to explain to Louis what happened and he’d have to tell Luke not to schedule things on Saturday nights. Louis was in his life before Luke was, Louis will always be a priority.


	11. Chapter 11: Confusione

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Forget me too/MGK & Halsey
> 
> \- Sorry (acoustic)/ Nothing but Thieves

Chapter 11: Confusione

July 21

As soon as Louis opens the locker room door, his sight is set on Niall. He’s got some things to say to Niall. Louis rushes past his coach, his teammates, keeping his eyes on Niall, who’s standing by his locker. He hasn’t spotted Louis yet, but that’s even better for Louis. Louis slings his bag on the floor, reaching his hands out and pushing Niall’s shoulders so that his back is pressed against the lockers. Niall quickly looks up, his eyebrows furrowed. Before Niall can say anything, Louis balls the collar of Niall’s uniform up in his hands, his nose practically rubbing against Niall’s. “Tomlinson!” Louis’s coach shouts, but Louis ignores it.

“What the hell did you do to me?” Louis says, through gritted teeth. He’s been thinking about it all morning, what he was going to say to Niall. He was perfectly fine before Niall made him realize that he loves Harry. Now, Louis doesn’t know how to act around Harry. Niall’s ruined everything. Niall’s eyes widen, his hands coming up to his face. “I didn’t do anything! What are you talking about?” He asks, his voice high and squeaky. Over the years of being friends, Niall and Louis have had their fair share of fights. Some of them physical, some of them not. They’re just two strong-headed, competitive boys who get heated pretty easily.

“You know exactly what you did, you’re messing with me. You ruined everything.” Louis says, his eyes full of anger. Louis’s coach rushes over to them, ignoring the teammate’s murmurs. He grabs Louis by the shoulders, slinging him off of Niall. He turns to face Louis, his face red from anger. “Tomlinson! Whatever you two prats have going on, deal with it outside, not at practice. You’re professionals!” The coach scolds, causing Louis to roll his eyes. He doesn’t have time for this today. He has to get back to normal, he can’t be this way. He can’t be in love with his best friend, it’s going to ruin everything. Last night was awkward, this morning was even worse.

Louis is mortified that he did that. He just wanted to crawl back into bed, sinking into the sheets until there was nothing left of him. “15 laps, now. 5 for being late, 5 for rolling your eyes, 5 for being disruptive.” Coach orders, causing Louis’s eyes to widen. Is he insane? Running 15 laps around the stadium is going to be impossible even for Louis. “Coach, we’re at Keepmoat Stadium! 15 laps is impossible,” Louis argues. He can’t believe he’s being treated this way, he’s a world-renowned football player! Niall stands still with his back against the lockers, adjusting his now wrinkled uniform.

“Be glad we’re not at Wembley. Add 5 more for talking back.”

_

35 minutes later, Louis is sitting on the bench, his hair dripping with sweat. His uniform is already soaked and it’s only 10:00 am. Everyone else is still stretching or working out in the gym room, getting prepped for the practice. Once Louis has caught his breath, he makes his way to the locker room. He immediately sees his bag, his phone hanging out of the pocket. The screen is lit up, showing 15 missed calls from Harry. Louis’s eyes widen. 15? Is Harry okay? Did something happen? Louis lunges for his phone, immediately clicking Harry’s name. Louis listens to the ringing, leaning his back against the same locker he pushed Niall against.

Now that Louis thinks about it, maybe he was being a tad bit dramatic. He just can’t stand being like this, he wants things to get back to normal. He’ll have to pay for all of Niall’s drinks when they go out on Friday to make up for it. The ringing stops, followed by a very familiar voice. “Hey,” Harry says, causing Louis to roll his eyes. Harry called him 15 times and all he has to say for himself is “Hey”? “What’s going on? Are you alright?” Louis asks.

“Oh, yeah. I just have to tell you something.” Harry says. Louis rolls his eyes again, wanting to pull his hair out. “You know I’m at practice, why didn’t you just wait?” Louis asks, fighting the urge to smile. Harry is frustrating, but he’s so damn cute. “I know, but I wanted to get it over with.”

This causes Louis’s ears to perk up. Get it over with? What doesn’t Harry want to tell Louis? Louis stays silent, waiting on Harry to continue. “So, I know I canceled our movie night last weekend, but I have to do it again. Luke already made reservations for Saturday and it’s a really hard place to get into. You know I’ve always wanted to dress up and go to Rossington Hall. He even booked us a room for the night.” Harry explains, causing Louis to shake his head. He’s canceling again? Harry has never canceled a movie night and now he’s canceled twice in a row. And why is Luke booking them a hotel? Why can’t he just take Harry back to his house or come back to Harry’s? Or better yet, just go back to their separate homes and sleep separately.

Now, instead of cuddling up to the couch with Harry, Louis is going to be sitting at home alone, thinking of Harry having a romantic weekend with someone else. No, he can’t do it. He loves their movie nights. “H, come on. I can get you in the Rossington Hall anytime, it’s really not that hard to get in.”

“Yeah, because you’re like… Famous, Lou. Not everyone can use their name to get into places.” Harry says. Louis rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his Gatorade. He really should get to practice, but he needs to convince Harry to stay home with him. “Luke? Is that his name? I’ll call him and tell him we have plans, he’ll understand.” Louis offers, making Harry laugh.

“Lou, why can’t we just do our movie night Friday night?” Harry asks. Louis rolls his eyes, tightening his grip on the phone. Harry doesn’t even care that he has to cancel, he thinks it’s funny. It’s not, Louis looks forward to their movie nights. It’s the only sense of normalcy that Louis gets nowadays. And now that he knows he’s in love with his best friend, Louis is torn between wanting to be close to him and wanting to be far away so he doesn’t ruin it. He’s already had a shit day and now that Louis is thinking about it, it’s Harry’s fault. If he hadn’t been so damn cute when he was sleeping, Louis wouldn’t have been distracted. He wouldn’t have been late if Harry hadn’t come over unannounced.

“No, Harry, because I go out with Niall on Fridays.”

“Well, maybe you can cancel, I’m su-“

“No, I don’t cancel on my friends, unlike you,” Louis says, pulling the phone away from his ear and hanging up. Louis stares at the phone for a moment before throwing it against the locker, shattering the screen. Fuck it, Louis thinks. He doesn’t care. His day is shit, he doesn’t want to hear from anyone for at least 24 hours. He’ll get a new phone tomorrow afternoon, but right now, he needs to go out on the field and blow off some steam.

Meanwhile, Harry is in his flat, staring at his phone screen. Why is Louis acting like this? He knows he’s upset about him canceling the movie night, but he didn’t think it’d be this big of a deal. Harry locks his phone, slipping it into his pocket. He makes his way to Liam and Zayn’s room, where they’re packing their belongings. They have just over a week before they move 2 hours away, meaning they’re constantly packing after working. Harry is feeling better about them moving, he’s genuinely excited for them. Harry can’t wait to find someone he loves and to have a family with them. It’s what he’s always dreamed of, being a family man.

He leans against the doorframe, watching his friends. For every clothes article Zayn packs, Liam takes it back out, folding it just the way he wanted it to be folded the first time. Zayn doesn’t pay it any attention, used to Liam’s antics. “Z, just watch me. Just… Please.” Liam begs, smoothing the shirt out on the bed. Zayn turns to face him, watching him carefully. “You don’t roll clothes, you fold them,” Liam explains, taking the shoulders of the shirt and folding them together.

“It saves more room, it’s common sense,” Zayn argues, a smile on his face. Part of Harry thinks Zayn does this just to fluster Liam, but the other part wonders if Zayn really thinks rolling clothes is better than folding. Liam’s eyes widen, rubbing his hands over his face. “You actually think something rolled up saves more room than something being flat on the bottom of the luggage?” Liam asks, his voice high and squeaky. Zayn laughs, moving close to Liam and grabbing him by the waist. “Li, I don’t care what saves room. I’ll carry 100 bags to our home as long as I get to live with you.” He says, leaning in and placing a kiss on Liam’s lips.

Harry smiles to himself, watching. He wonders if he’ll ever have someone to love him the way Zayn and Liam love each other. Harry has wanted that for so long, part of him thinks that’s why he’s willing to move so fast with Luke. He’s just so ready to have someone who cares about him and wants him around, he’s willing to do anything. Zayn pulls away, his kiss causing Liam to relax a little. Liam sighs, turning to face Harry. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here.” Liam apologizes, causing Harry to shake his head.

“It’s fine, I just wanted to ask if you’ve heard from Louis,” Harry says, his smile fading at the memory of his phone call. He just wants his best friend back, he doesn’t want to deal with whatever this is. Their friendship has never been a jealous one. Harry would hang out with his friends, Louis would hang out with his, they’d hang out together. Liam shakes his head, going back to packing. “No, I haven’t.” He answers, lifting his head to look at Zayn. Everyone knows Louis and Zayn are the closest pair outside of Harry and Louis, so surely Zayn has heard from him and knows what’s going on.

Zayn frowns apologetically. “Not since your date. Why?” Zayn asks. Harry sighs, running his finger through his curls. “He’s acting weird. I didn’t hear from him for like 3 days, so I went to his house, and he was acting like he was weirded out. I just called and canceled our movie night and he lost it. Something’s going on, but I can’t figure out what it is.” Harry says.

Zayn and Liam immediately look at each other, Liam’s face giving away any secrecy they were hoping to achieve. Harry raises an eyebrow, pushing himself off the doorframe. “What? Do you know something?” He asks. He isn’t trying to pry, but he needs to know what’s going on with Louis and he knows Louis won’t tell him. Liam goes to open his mouth, but Zayn cuts him off. “No, Li just realized we have to go get another suitcase.” Zayn lies. Harry’s gaze drops to the floor, seeing several empty suitcases waiting to be filled. He knows they’re hiding something, but he also knows Zayn won’t give it up. Harry will just have to try to get it out of Liam when they’re alone.

He’s going to figure out what’s going on.


	12. Chapter 12: Reconciliationis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- She Sets the City On Fire/ Gavin DeGraw 
> 
> \- And Then You/ Greg Laswell

Chapter 12: Reconciliationis

July 22

After practice yesterday, Louis went home to find his house completely clean. Harry must’ve cleaned before he left, which Louis appreciated. Harry knows how much Louis hates to clean, but he’s too cheap to hire someone to clean his house. As Louis walked around the house inspecting it, he realized that he was being totally unfair to Harry. Harry hadn’t done anything wrong, he’s trying to learn how to balance a new relationship along with an old friendship. Louis knows it can be hard, so he decided to cut Harry some slack. Louis decided to go to their weekly breakfast, hoping Harry would be there. Louis didn’t get a phone yesterday, so he had no way of texting Harry and telling him that he was still coming.

Now, Louis is sitting at their table outside of the cafe, watching as his breakfast gets cold. Harry is 15 minutes late for their breakfast, the latest he’s ever been. Maybe he isn’t coming. Maybe he thought Louis wouldn’t show up after yesterday. Louis sighs, leaning back in his seat. They’ve been getting breakfast together every Friday for the past 2 years, starting the tradition after Harry found out Louis was skipping out on breakfast before practice. Neither one of them have ever missed a Friday breakfast.

It’s starting to look like they were both making a habit out of canceling on each other and growing apart. Louis hates it, that’s why he wishes he’d never realized he’s in love with Harry. It’s ruined everything. Louis bounces his leg, feeling the wind blow through the hair on his legs. It’s already 8:15, he only has 45 minutes before he has to be at practice. Maybe he should just leave and go to practice early to make up for being late yesterday. Louis pushes his plate to the middle of the table, digging in his pockets for money. As soon as he pulls out enough money to cover the bill, he sees Harry jogging toward the table.

Harry’s wearing a light blue button-down shirt, the first few buttons unbuttoned, exposing his tattooed chest. He’s also wearing his notorious black skinny jeans, his black boots, and his black hat. Jesus Christ, Harry looks good. Louis looks down at what he’s wearing, his football uniform.

He goes straight from breakfast to practice on Fridays, so he just wears his uniform so he doesn’t have to change when he gets to the stadium. Harry’s always the one that dresses up, but it’s never made Louis feel insecure about what he was wearing. But now, Harry looks… Godly.

Louis clears his throat, smoothing out his shorts. He reaches up and tugs the headband out of his hair, feeling as the hair falls around his face. He has to make himself look presentable, he can’t sit with Harry like this. When Harry reaches the table, he’s out of breath. He places his hand on the table, leaning against it and smiling. “Sorry, I wasn’t going to come, I didn’t think you’d show up. But then I decided to come anyway.” Harry says, sitting in his chair.

“Oh, if you don’t want me here, I can leave,” Louis says, suddenly feeling awkward. Harry frowns, picking up his fork and picking the food off of Louis’s plate. “Why wouldn’t I want you here?” Harry asks, his mouth full of buttered crumpets. Louis stays silent, folding his hands on his lap. He looks over his shoulder, watching the trees bend and sway, an elderly couple walking their dog, and the families on their morning walks. Louis almost expected the world to stop turning when he realized he’s in love with Harry, but it seems like it hasn’t. Everyone has continued going on about their day, their lives, while Louis is in torment.

Harry continues eating off of Louis’s plate, reaching for his orange juice. “What’s going on with you?” He asks, swallowing his food. He tried all day yesterday to get Liam alone and interrogate him, but Zayn made sure to hide him away in their room. Harry even went so far as to text Niall, but Niall never texted back. Everyone is ganging up on Harry, keeping secrets. Harry isn’t dumb, he knows something is going on with Louis. They’re best friends, Harry knows Louis better than anyone. Louis looks back at Harry, shaking his head. “Nothing, why’d you ask?” He asks.

Before Harry can answer, a small child walks up to the table, holding a napkin. Harry looks down at her, examining her long, brown hair, her big dimples, and her adorable yellow dress. The little girl looks behind her, where her family is standing and waving. The child looks back at the table, her sights set on Louis. “Hi.” She says, her voice small and quiet. Louis smiles, sitting up in his chair. He’s used to this, the children are his favorite fans. “Hello, darling,” Louis says, causing the girl to giggle and blush. Harry watches the interaction, feeling his heart swell. Louis’s always been so good with children, it comes naturally after having 6 younger siblings.

“Can I have your…” The girl starts, trailing off. She looks back at her dad, who’s laughing now. “Autograph!” He shouts, reminding the girl of what it’s called. The girl looks back over at Louis, smiling. “Autograph.” She repeats, impressing Harry. The girl couldn’t be any older than 4, but she’s quite independent. Harry likes to think his own child will be independent, never afraid to take chances. That’s how Harry was before the incident. He was never shy, he had no problem being around new people. Now, he hates meeting new people. He’s always terrified something like that is going to happen again, making him keep his distance from people. That’s why his friendship with Louis is so important, he trusts him wholeheartedly. That’s why he wants to work through whatever is going on, he never wants to lose him.

“Of course!” Louis says, grabbing the pen from the child. He quickly writes his name, signing off with a small message. Harry doesn’t have to read the note to know what it says, Louis says the same thing to all of the children. Something along the lines of the importance of following your dreams, never be afraid, always be brave, and work hard. It’s endearing, the way Louis cares about his younger fans. Harry thinks Louis sees his siblings in some of them, making him want to encourage them.

As soon as the girl gets her napkin back, she skips back to her family, proudly showing them the note. Harry watches as Louis checks his watch, frowning. “I better get going, I don’t want to be late again,” Louis announces, causing Harry to frown. He knows Louis is only trying to get out of answering his question. It’s only 8:30, Louis doesn’t have to be at practice until 9. The stadium is only 5 minutes away from the cafe. “Lou, something is obviously wrong. I feel like we’re falling apart and I don’t want to. We’ve never fought this much before. I don’t like it.” Harry says, feeling as his throat tightens.

He’s never had a problem being vulnerable around Louis, Louis has seen him at his best and his worst. He’s willing to do whatever he has to, to have Louis back the way he used to have him. Louis sighs, scratching the side of his face. It’s something Harry’s found out means Louis’s nervous. “It’s not you, Harry. I’m just under a lot of stress right now, things aren’t exactly going well for me.” He explains.

“You’ve always been under a lot of stress. We’ve never gone through anything like this before. I feel like you don’t want me around anymore.” Harry explains. He’s never felt like a burden to Louis, like he was an obligation, but lately, he’s felt that way. They don’t feel like friends anymore, they feel like acquaintances. Louis runs his hands through his hair, standing up from his seat. “H, I’ve really got to go. We’re fine, alright? Nothing is going on with us. I promise.” Louis reassures Harry, watching as Harry keeps his eyes on the plate in front of them.

Louis can tell Harry’s trying not to cry. Louis hates being the reason Harry cries, but he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t exactly tell Harry that he’s in love with him and that’s why he’s been acting weird. Louis wants to do something to make him feel better, but he’s booked this whole weekend. The season starts in almost two months, the team is really gearing up to get ready, so Louis won’t be able to hang out during the week either.

“I’ll call you tonight, we’ll talk about this a little more, yeah?” Louis says. Harry stands up from his seat, nodding. Louis gets a whiff of Harry’s shampoo, making Louis want to wrap himself up in Harry’s arms. There goes that smell again, the smell of home. It’s been a while since Louis has been home, but he feels like he’s home around Harry. Harry feels like home. Louis always thought home was a place, four walls and a roof. But now, Louis is finding out that home doesn’t have to be a place at all.

Sometimes, home can be a person. Home can be a person that makes you feel completely safe, completely stress-free. Home can be someone who makes you feel successful even on your worst day, erasing any memory of your failures. Home can be the one that makes you feel like even if the world goes to shit tomorrow, you’ll be okay because they’re there. Home can be the person that makes you feel like even if the whole world knows your name, they’re the only one that truly knows you and the depths of your soul.

For Louis, that person is Harry.

Harry leans down, the brim of his hat hitting Louis’s forehead and pulling him out of his thoughts. Louis stays perfectly still as Harry’s lips connect with Louis’s stubble-covered cheek. Harry pulls away, a smile on his face. “Why did you do that?” Louis asks, his hands suddenly becoming very sweaty. They’ve never been the type of friends to kiss each other, no matter how much they snuggled at night.

“Oh, come on. You started it!” Harry teases, his cheeks red. Louis thinks back to yesterday morning when he accidentally kissed Harry’s head and told him he loved him. He hadn’t meant to do it, he certainly hadn’t intended of making a habit of it. He isn’t sure that he can handle this level of intimacy without driving himself crazy and tipping over the edge. “It was an accident, you know that,” Louis says, watching as Harry laughs again.

“I love youuuuu.” He drawls, gathering his car keys in his hands. Louis knows Harry doesn’t mean it the way Louis means it, but still, it makes his heart flutter. 19 years of friendship and they’ve never said that they love each other. Louis shakes his head, feeling the weight of his keys in his pocket, reminding him that he has to leave. “Say it!” Harry whines, faking the pout on his pink lips. Louis takes a deep breath, forcing a smile. “I love you, Harry,” Louis says, trying to ignore the way his heart races after he says it. This might be the only time Louis can say this without making things weird.

Harry smiles, clearly satisfied with his actions. “Call me tonight,” Harry says, walking in the opposite direction. Louis turns to walk to his car, feeling a little freer than he did last night. Harry walks away, having no idea the weight behind Louis’s words.


	13. Chapter 13: Amicis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- 7/ Catfish and the Bottlemen
> 
> \- Face/ BROCKHAMPTON

Chapter 13: Amicis

July 22

After football practice, Louis makes his way to the locker room, where Niall’s changing. The rest of the players have already left, Niall and Louis had to stay after to talk to the coach after what Louis did yesterday morning. Louis’s thought a lot about it and he regrets it, he didn’t mean to act like that. He knows Niall didn’t mean to ruin everything, he was trying to help. When Louis reaches the locker room, he sees Niall gathering his things, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

He’s still in his football uniform, signaling that he has no plans of going out with Louis tonight. Louis goes to his locker next to Niall, not sure how to start his apology. Louis isn’t used to apologizing, but it seems like he’s doing a lot of it lately. He should’ve apologized yesterday after practice, but he talked himself out of it and put it off. Louis clears his throat, keeping his eyes on the locker while Niall stands beside him. “So I guess we’re not going out tonight,” Louis says, his voice quiet.

Niall shuts the locker door, turning to face Louis. “You attacked me.”

Louis chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, but I didn’t punch you or anything.” He reminds Niall. Niall rolls his eyes, slinging his bag over his shoulder. “Anything I want tonight, you’re buying it.”

_

After stopping to buy a new phone, Niall and Louis are in a new pub, 3 drinks deep. Niall’s drinking for fun while Louis is drinking so he can forget how much money he’s spending on Niall. They’ve been at the pub for about an hour, Niall has either forgiven Louis or just forgotten what happened yesterday morning. Either way, things are back to normal, meaning Niall is eyeing a brunette girl, while Louis stares at his empty beer bottle. “What’s up with you and Harry? He’s making a habit out of canceling our movie nights and you’re making a habit out of ditching me on our nights out.” Louis says, rolling his eyes.

Niall turns to face him, nodding slowly. “So that’s what’s wrong with you. Your husband canceled on you.” Niall says, chuckling to himself. Louis scrunches his nose, frowning. “Not my husband.” He mumbles.

“He definitely is. You’ve known each other for 19 years, you sleep in the same bed, you have dates-“

“Nights. Movie nights, not movie dates.”

“-get jealous when he sees other people, you worry about him, you love him… You’re totally married.” Niall rambles, causing Louis to roll his eyes. They’re definitely not married. Louis is starting to regret his peace offering, he just wants to be home alone. Louis waves down the bartender, ordering another beer. Louis watches as the bartender opens the bottle, placing it in front of Louis. Louis lifts the bottle, closing his eyes as he tastes the drink. He’s never been a fan of the taste of beer, but it does its job.

“You’re not denying that you love him,” Niall says, turning back around to stare at the brunette girl. Louis shakes his head, swallowing his drink. “There’s no use, you’ve already made up your mind that I love Harry.” He answers, keeping his eyes on the bartender. This is a new bar, which is why Niall and Louis decided to try it out. Normally the bars they go to have female bartenders, but this one has a male bartender. He’s fit, that’s for sure. Louis’s been trying to distract himself, but it’s hard for Louis to think about anything but the bartender on his knees for him.

It’s been way too long since Louis has gotten laid. He’s the only one in his friend group that hasn’t gotten laid lately and frankly, Louis doesn’t like it. “Why don’t you just tell him? It’d save you a lot of trouble.” Niall suggests. Louis tears his eyes away from the man, switching his gaze to Niall. “It’d create more trouble for me, Niall. Harry is absolutely smitten with this new guy. Although, I can’t figure out why. He seems like a complete wanker.” Louis says, causing Niall to laugh. “You’ve not even met him!” He says.

“Don’t have to, I just know. For the first date, he took Harry to a restaurant that was way out of Harry’s pay grade. Classic manipulator move. Make your date feel inferior, make them feel like they have to depend on you to pay for your meal, then make them feel like they owe you something at the end of the date. He fucked Harry in an abandoned building, what does that tell you?” Louis asks, waiting on a response.

“That he’s got game?” Niall suggests.

Louis rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “No, Niall. It means he’s dodgy. This weekend, he made reservations at another fancy restaurant without even talking to Harry about it. He also booked a hotel room for them. Use your head, mate.” Louis urges, watching Niall purse his lips. “The only thing I see wrong is that it seems like he doesn’t want Harry at his place.” He answers.

Louis snaps his fingers, taking another drink and swallowing it down. “Exactly! He’s married, or at the very least, in a relationship. And not just with Harry.” Louis says, shaking his head. It was clear to Louis the moment Harry said they were going to stay at a hotel. Harry’s new boyfriend, Luke, is supposedly working at one of the best law firms in Yorkshire. If that’s true, that means he has a fairly decent house. It’s not like he lives with roommates and he prefers the privacy of a hotel room.

Louis has considered bringing it up to Harry, but he knows Harry won’t believe him. Louis doesn’t even have any proof, he just has a suspicion. Niall frowns, running his fingers through his hair. “That’s fucked up. Are you gonna tell H?” He asks, causing Louis to shake his head. “No, he wouldn’t believe me. Plus, we have a deal. I won’t say anything about his new boyfriend for as long as they’re together or he gets to drive the Rover.”

Niall laughs, throwing his head back. “That’s golden! You won’t last long.” He says. Louis finishes his 4th beer, suddenly feeling very dizzy and nauseous. He normally doesn’t drink this much, but he reckoned he might as well get drunk if he’s going to pay for Niall to get drunk. Louis pushes the bottle away, signaling for the bartender to take it. Louis wishes he could tell Harry how he felt. Louis wishes they could be together, but they can’t. Louis is a professional athlete, he travels all the time. Harry has a job in Doncaster, he couldn’t just drop his job to travel with Louis.

So, that’s why Louis doesn’t plan on ever telling Harry how he feels. Louis will get over it, he just has to find someone else. In order for Harry to never find out, Louis has to make sure that Niall never tells Harry about this conversation. “You won’t say anything to Harry, will you?” Louis asks. Niall shakes his head, standing up from the stool. “‘Course not, Lou. I’ll see you at practice Monday.” Niall says, clapping his hand on Louis’s shoulder. Louis knows what’s coming now, Niall is going to make his way over to the brunette he’s been eyeing all night.

Louis runs his hands over his face, sighing. He really should go home, he doesn’t need to drink anymore. But Louis doesn’t want to leave his car at the bar, so he decides to sit at the bar until he sobers up enough to drive home. Louis watches as Niall and his one-night stand walk out the door, causing him to laugh quietly. Louis used to be the one that got laid every weekend, what happened?

“You okay?” The bartender asks Louis. Louis nods. “Yeah, just sitting here until I sober up a little. Don’t wanna leave my car.” He explains. The bartender is dressed in a tight black shirt, the sleeves cutting off just in time to show several tattoos. His sandy blonde hair is curling up in the back, which Louis quite likes. “My shift ends in 5 minutes, I can drive your car to your place. I’ll take an Uber home.” The man offers. What? Louis can’t ask the man to do that. What about the guy’s car?

“Oh, no, I can’t let you do that. I don’t want you to have to leave your car.” Louis says, causing the bartender to laugh. “I live above the bar, so it’s not a problem for me to leave my car here.” He explains.

Louis turns his head to the back of the room, seeing stairs leading to an upper level. That’s pretty cool, Louis thinks. But still, he doesn’t want to bother the man. Louis turns back to the bar, shaking his head. “I don’t want to inconvenience you.” He says.

“Oh, stop, I’m taking you home. Don’t argue with me.” The man says, raising an eyebrow. Louis laughs and shakes his head, giving up. “Alright, alright.”

Once the man finishes his shift, he goes to clock out, coming back to grab Louis. “What’s your name?” He asks, walking out the door. Louis follows behind, grabbing his keys out of his pocket. “Louis. Yours?” He asks. When they reach the car, Louis gets in the passenger side, handing his keys over to the stranger. It feels weird letting someone drive his car, he’s the only one that’s ever driven it.

“Wow, a Range Rover? What do you do, rob banks?” The man asks, chuckling quietly. He adjusts the seat, starting the car. Louis watches as the man backs out of the parking space. “Not really. I play football.” Louis explains.

The man raises an eyebrow, turning his head to face Louis. “Wait, Louis Tomlinson? Doncaster Rovers, right?” He asks, making Louis nod his head. “That’s me.”

The man continues driving, referring to the directions on Louis’s phone. Over the course of the trip, Louis makes small talk, pointing and directing the man to his house. He’s feeling less inebriated, feeling like he could drive now. When they pull up to his house, the man parks the car. “You’re more than welcome to come inside while you call an Uber.” Louis offers, climbing out of the car.

The man gets out of the car, locking it behind him and handing the keys to Louis. “You’re sure you don’t mind?” He asks, causing Louis to shake his head. “Of course not.”

The pair make their way inside the house, the man going to his app and ordering an Uber. Louis makes his way to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water. “I really appreciate you bringing me home, I didn’t want to leave my car there. I normally don’t let anyone drive my car, so you should feel honored.” Louis jokes, twisting the cap off of the bottle. The man smiles, raising an eyebrow. “Oh, so I’m special?” He asks.

Louis laughs, taking a quick sip before placing the bottle on the kitchen counter. “You could say that.” He says, watching as the man walks into the kitchen. He stands beside Louis, leaning his back on the counter. “Mhm… And what made me so special?” He asks.

Louis bumps his elbow against the man’s side, laughing quietly. “Well, you’re incredibly fit.” He says, quickly regretting it. Why would he say that? This man is a stranger, Louis shouldn’t try to come onto him.

The man laughs, his cheeks reddening. “You’re not too bad yourself, Louis.” He says, his voice quiet. Louis’s breath hitches in his throat, watching as the man moves to stand in front of Louis. He’s the same height as Louis, their noses bumping and their chests almost touching. It catches Louis off guard, causing him to freeze in his spot. Before Louis can say anything, the man’s lips are on his, pulling him closer.

Louis inhales the scent of alcohol and cigarette smoke, causing him to moan in the man’s mouth. The man’s hands are moving around his body, nipping at any exposed skin. Louis’s hands move to the man’s shirt, attempting to pull it over his head. When their lips part, they’re both out of breath. They both know where this is going and neither one of them care to stop it. Once the man’s shirt is off, they merge their lips together once more. Louis closes his eyes, feeling as the man runs his tongue over Louis’s bottom lip.

Louis quickly pulls away, his cheeks a soft pink. “I don’t even know your name.” He breathes out, a small smile on his lips. The man smiles, running his fingers through his hair.

“Does it matter?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working on the 14th chapter! It should be posted sometime tomorrow, most likely sometime before 7pm EST. My twitter is @/htcbwsmcasmoa. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the fic and any of my other ones!


	14. Chapter 14: Domum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Home/One Direction 
> 
> \- Honey Dove/ Lee Fields & The Expressions

Chapter 14: Domum

July 22

Harry has been waiting by the phone since 6 pm, waiting for Louis to call him. Football practice ends at 6 pm, but Harry also knows Louis goes to the pub with Niall afterward. It’s currently 9 pm and Harry hasn’t heard a thing from Louis. They were supposed to talk more about what they discussed over breakfast, to try and work things out between the two of them. Louis isn’t one to break promises, but the longer Harry waits, the more he thinks Louis has either forgotten about his promise or simply regretted making the promise.

Harry lays back on his bed, groaning and kicking his feet. He thought about riding by Louis’s house, just to check on him, but he decided that was a bit stalkerish. Under any other circumstances, Harry wouldn’t make such a fuss over a missed phone call. But Harry can’t help but feel like this phone call was going to be their saving grace. Things have been so awkward lately, he just wants things to go back to normal. Once Liam and Zayn move, Harry will be left all alone except for Louis, Niall, and Luke. The way things are looking, Harry will only be left with Luke. Niall picks whatever side Louis is on, simply because he was friends with Louis before he became friends with Harry.

Harry doesn’t mind, he’s the same way when Niall and Louis get into arguments. Harry is the same way when Louis goes against anyone, no matter what. For Harry, it will always be Louis over anyone else.

Harry almost gives up on the call, when finally the phone rings. Harry springs off of the bed, practically flying across the room to grab his phone. When he sees the screen, he immediately answers it.

“Harry, baby!” Louis’s slurred voice rings through the speaker. Harry furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. Louis has never gotten this drunk on a night out with Niall before. How are they supposed to have a conversation about their friendship if Louis can barely speak?

“Uh, hi, Lou.” Harry mumbles, backing up until the back of his thighs hit the edge of the bed. He places his bum on the mattress, carefully listening to the other end of the phone. He can hear someone next to Louis, giggling and whispering while Louis shushes them. Who does Louis have with him?

“I meant to call you earlier, but I got even drunker after I came home.” Louis rambles, hiccuping between words. His words are stringing together, Louis’s voice is almost unrecognizable. Harry stays silent, trying to figure out where to go from here. Obviously, they can’t have this conversation when Louis is drunk and has someone in bed with him, it needs to be a serious conversation. “Sh, sh. Give me a mo’, I can’t speak if you’re doing that.” Louis mumbles, his voice growing raspier.

Harry’s cheeks heat up, instantly knowing what’s happening on the other end of the phone. “Forget it, call me when you’re sober and alone,” Harry says, attempting to make his voice come out stronger than he feels. He isn’t sure why he’s so hurt that Louis has someone else in bed with him. Harry chalks it up to the fact that this phone call was very important to their friendship and it seems like Louis completely forgot about it. Harry is trying to make things work, but Louis doesn’t seem like he cares too much about it.

“H, wait,” Louis says. Harry can hear shuffling around in the bed, followed by loud footsteps on the wooden floor. “Hey, I’m sorry. Really, I am. I had a hard week at practice, I just needed to blow off some steam.” Louis apologizes, suddenly sounding soberer than he has the whole night. Harry immediately starts thinking about the guy Louis is with. Did he get Louis this drunk so he could sleep with him? How did Louis even get home with this guy if he’s this drunk?

“It’s alright, Lou,” Harry says, leaning back until his back is on the mattress. “No, it’s not. I promised you a conversation, I want to fix things.” Louis says, his voice quiet. Harry closes his eyes, feeling tears slipping out of his eyes. He can’t explain this feeling. Harry simply feels like he’s leaving home. Louis is Harry’s home, but now they’re growing apart. It’s only natural, Louis is a busy man, Harry’s starting a new relationship. Harry feels like their friendship will never be the same again. Their friend group is growing up, starting families, moving away, advancing their careers.

Louis sighs on the other end of the phone, running his fingers through his hair. His chest is glistening with sweat, along with his hair. After going about 3 rounds, Louis and Matt, the bartender, continued drinking. Louis doesn’t really want him to sleep over, but he’s not one to kick someone out when they’re drunk out of their minds. He feels terrible for forgetting about the phone call, he really intended on keeping his promise. He knows how much Harry wanted to talk about things, he feels like a shit friend for forgetting. He doesn’t want to lose Harry because he’s too prideful to admit that he’s in love with him. Louis would never forgive himself for it.

“I have to go, I have to pack for the weekend. I’ll see you around.” Harry says, abruptly hanging up. Louis frowns, staring at the screen. He sighs again, turning around to walk back into the bedroom. When he opens the bedroom door, he sees Matt fast asleep, curled under the blankets. He doesn’t look as heavenly as Harry did when he was sleeping in Louis’s bed, but Matt will keep Louis warm tonight. Louis curls up in bed, closing his eyes as he feels Matt snuggle into his side. Louis will never be able to have Harry, so he might as well settle for what he can get.

-

“Harry? What’s wrong? You’ve been pouting all night.” Liam says, standing at the kitchen counter. He’s just now eating dinner, which happens to be cold pizza from the night before. On nights that Zayn is stuck at an art gallery, Liam and Harry opt for eating out. Harry and Liam aren’t exactly skilled in the culinary world, so they take turns buying food for each other. Harry is laying on the couch, staring into the kitchen.

“I have not been pouting,” Harry mumbles, watching as Liam laughs. He’s dressed in his favorite sweatpants, everything else already packed away in boxes and suitcases. “Just tell me what’s going on. This is probably one of the last late-night gossip sessions we’re going to be able to have.” Liam says, his smile washing away along with the crinkles by his eyes. Harry hasn’t even stopped to think about how soon Liam and Zayn are leaving. He’s been too consumed with his own thoughts and problems that he didn’t even realize they only have a week left together. After this week is up, Harry will have to drive 2 hours just to see his best friends.

The more Harry thinks about this, the more Harry realizes he should just talk to Liam. After all, it’s very clear that Zayn and Liam know something about Louis, he should take this opportunity and use it to his advantage. Harry sits up, planting his feet on the hard floor. “Fine. I feel like something is going on with me and Louis, but I can’t get him to talk about it.” Harry confesses. Liam turns so his back is to Harry, shutting the pizza box. Shit, Liam thinks. He hadn’t meant to be alone with Harry, he knows he’s weak when it comes to keeping secrets. Zayn has been purposely keeping the two away from each other simply to avoid this. Liam wants to help Harry out, but he doesn’t want to upset Louis. But maybe Louis would never find out. Liam clears his throat, throwing away the box. “Why do you think something is wrong?” He asks, making his way over to the couch. He folds his right leg under his bum, facing Harry. Harry starts picking at his bottom lip, something he’s done since he was a child.

“I don’t know, I can just feel it. He’s really distant, things aren’t how they used to be.” Harry says. Liam chews on his own bottom lip, trying to avoid eye contact. Harry scoots closer, his knee bumping with Liam’s leg. “Li, I know you and Zayn know something. Will you just tell me what’s going on?” Harry asks.

Liam groans, throwing his head back. He isn’t even sure what he’s going to tell Harry. It’s not like Zayn and Liam have proof that Louis has a thing for Harry… They’re working purely off of suspicion. Liam considers this to be one of his last favors for Harry before he leaves. “We think Louis likes you.”

Harry immediately scrunches his nose, shaking his head. There’s no way, Louis doesn’t like Harry. They’re best friends. Harry honestly doesn’t know if Louis’s ever had a crush before, he only has one-night stands. If Louis was into Harry, he would’ve said something. Louis is the kind of guy to go after what he wants, no matter what. Zayn and Liam are wrong, there’s no way Louis likes Harry. “You’re both delusional,” Harry says, chuckling dryly. He can’t believe this is what he’s been dying to hear for almost a week. Harry thought they’d actually found something out, not made up a completely false claim.

Before Liam can explain his reasoning, Zayn barges in the door, a huge smile painted on his face. “You’ll never guess what I bought!” He exclaims, holding a painting in front of him. It’s flipped so neither of the boys can see what’s painted on the canvas. Liam’s eyes flicker to the canvas before coming back up to meet Zayn’s brown eyes. “A painting?” Liam says, forcing a smile. Over the years of being with Zayn, he’s realized there’s no point in scolding him for spending too much money on paintings Liam believes to be ugly. Zayn doesn’t try to stop Liam from buying every student of his their own customized planner, but the difference in the paintings Zayn buys and the planners Liam buys just so happens to be around a couple of thousand dollars.

But still, art brings Zayn happiness, and Zayn’s happiness brings Liam the biggest sense of joy, so both boys win. Zayn flips the painting over, showing the most god-awful painting Liam and Harry have ever seen. But neither of the boys have it in them to break Zayn’s heart, so they smile and nod, complimenting Zayn’s art taste. Zayn sees right through their facade, looking between the two boys, his smile fading.

“You didn’t.” He says, staring at Liam. Liam smiles nervously, laughing. “Z, he forced me. He threatened to smash your paintings if I didn’t tell him.” Liam lies, causing Harry to roll his eyes. Harry will never understand why Liam is so afraid of disappointing Zayn, but it’s quite funny. Zayn leans the painting against the wall, placing his hands on his hips. “Yeah, right. Harry wouldn’t do that.” He says, turning to face Harry.

“Have I ever told you that Li’s clinically insane? You shouldn’t listen to anything he says.” Zayn says. Harry stands up from the couch, shaking his head. “Both of you are insane if you think Louis likes me as anything more than a friend. We’re just friends, that’s all.” Harry says. Before Zayn can respond, Harry is making his way to the bathroom for what seems like the millionth time today.

Harry thinks it must be stress, that’s the only explanation for why he’s peed at least 10 times today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was able to get this chapter in a little earlier, so the next one will be up tomorrow sometime!


	15. Chapter 15: Volutpat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Saturday Nights/Khalid
> 
> \- Next to Me/Nick Wilson

Chapter 15: Volutpat

July 23

“Alright, Mr. Robinson! We’ll have someone take your bags up to your room.” The woman at the front desk says. Luke politely thanks her, taking his credit card back. He turns to face Harry, a smile wide on his face. “Are you ready to have the best weekend of your life?” He asks.

Harry seriously doubts anything could top the weekend he and Louis had after Louis graduated secondary school. They rented a hotel room, got drunk, and spent the whole weekend lounging in the finest pools and eating a ridiculous amount of sweets. Even if Luke has an amazing weekend planned for the both of them, Harry doubts he’ll be able to have any fun at all. Harry woke up with a headache this morning, along with feeling like he didn’t get enough sleep. He knows he did, he slept for at least 8 hours before he woke up and started packing for the trip. Now, it’s 2:30 pm and Harry has already peed at least 10 times.

He started counting after the 5th time, when he hadn’t even left the house yet. Harry just chalks it up to stress, that must be it. All last night he dreamt that he and Louis were no longer friends. Harry woke up with his cheeks wet and his heart broken at the thought. He also isn’t sure when he started being this emotional. He normally isn’t emotional unless he’s on his period, which is at least a week away. Harry doesn’t try to keep up with his period, he’s never had to. He’s always used protection and lately, he hasn’t been getting any action, so he’s normally surprised when he starts his period. Louis gets onto him about needing to keep up with it better, but Harry doesn’t think it’s any of Louis’s business. Louis doesn’t have a period or go in heat, so Harry doesn’t think he should have an opinion on it.

Harry nods, watching as a man takes their bags. “What time are we eating?” Harry asks, lacing his hand with Luke’s. “The reservation is for 6 pm, but if you’re hungry, we can have a late lunch,” Luke says, causing Harry to nod his head. He feels nauseous, but he hasn’t eaten anything in several hours. He knows he needs to eat, maybe it will help him feel better.

Luke makes his way to the hotel room, Harry following behind. Despite everything that’s going on with Louis, Harry finds himself looking forward to this weekend. It’ll be good for him to get away from everyone and to spend two days with Luke. After all, in a little under a week, they’ll be living together. After leaving Zayn and Liam to hang up their painting, Harry found himself thinking about what Liam said.

They think Louis likes Harry? There’s no way. He would’ve told Harry by now. Then again, Harry has had a slight crush on Louis before and didn’t tell him anything about it. But Harry and Louis are so different! Louis is a go-getter, if he wants something, he gets it, no matter what. Harry is timid and believes if the universe wants you to have something, you’ll get it. That’s another reason why Harry thinks Liam and Zayn are wrong. Louis and Harry have been friends for 19 years, surely something would’ve happened by now if they were supposed to be together. It would have to be something extreme for Harry to believe that he and Louis are supposed to be together.

Once the pair reach the room, Luke opens the door. The room has a King-sized bed in the middle of it, a beautiful ivory bathtub on the side, and a gorgeous open window. Harry practically moans at the thought of taking a bath tonight. He knows he’ll be left sore again, so he’ll need a relaxing bath with Luke when they’re done. Their bags are on the floor, waiting to be unpacked. “I’ll order room service. What do you want?” Luke asks, sitting on the edge of the bed. Harry makes his way over to the bags, preparing to unpack them. “Something light. I’m not feeling all that hungry, but I think my headache will go away if I eat.” He explains.

Luke takes note of that, quickly dialing up room service. “I’d like to place an order for room 209.”

Harry listens while he unpacks, feeling as his stomach becomes even queasier. The last time Harry threw up was when he saw Luke’s Tinder profile and the memories came flooding back. Before that, Harry can’t remember the last time he threw up. “I would like a bagel, with cream cheese and smoked salmon on top.”. Harry’s stomach practically lurches at that. He doesn’t mind smoked salmon, but the thought of it doesn’t sit right with his stomach right now. Hopefully, that’s what Luke’s ordering and not what he’s ordering for Harry. “Actually, give me two of them. Yes, that’ll complete the order.”

Harry carries his clothes to the drawers, folding them nicely and stacking them on top of each other. He’ll just have to eat the food and be happy with it. Luke is doing something nice for Harry, he isn’t one to be picky when someone is providing a luxurious weekend for him. “Harry, you don’t have to do that right now. I’ll have someone unpack for us while we’re eating tonight. Come lay down, I’ll rub your head.”

Harry chuckles quietly at the thought of what Louis would say if he knew Luke was going to pay someone to unpack for them. Despite having a larger than life salary, Louis has always stuck to his old ways. The only things he’s splurged on have been his car and his home, but they're both things he spends a decent amount of time in. Louis isn’t one to go to the fanciest restaurants or to pay someone to clean his house. He didn’t grow up with money, so he’s not used to having money. But the thought of getting his head rubbed overpowers Harry’s morals, so he makes his way to the bed.

Luke sits with his back to the pillows, sitting up on the bed and spreading his legs. Harry sits between the man’s long legs, leaning his back against his chest. He rests his head back, closing his eyes. Luke immediately goes to work, tangling his slender fingers in Harry’s curls. He massages and rubs, catching an occasional curl in his rings, causing Harry to groan. That’s why he much prefers Louis to rub his head, he doesn’t have rings to pull Harry’s hair with. “I’m so glad we have a weekend away,” Luke whispers, sliding his hands down Harry’s face. Harry twists his nose up, frowning. He doesn’t like when people touch his face, he just wishes Luke would go back to rubbing his head. It felt quite nice.

Harry keeps his eyes closed, choosing to not respond. Luke moves his hands from Harry’s face, to his shoulders, to his chest, to his nipp-

“Hey!” Harry shouts, jumping away from Luke’s body. When Luke pinched Harry’s nipples, even through his shirt, it shot pain all through Harry’s body. Normally, he likes his nipples being pinched and sucked, but it didn’t feel good at all today. It just… Hurt.

“I-I’m sorry, I thought you liked that. You liked it last time.” Luke says, completely thrown off by Harry’s reaction. Harry relaxes again, closing his eyes once more. Now that Harry’s thinking about it, the shirt rubbing against his nipples hurts quite a bit. “Sorry, I’m just sensitive right now.” Harry mumbles. Luke resumes his actions on Harry’s head, causing Harry to moan under his breath, feeling as his body slips under.

_

“Harry, the food is getting cold,” Luke whispers, shaking Harry awake. Harry grunts and rubs his eyes, feeling much better than he did this morning when he woke up. The first thing he notices is the smell that fills the room. Oh yeah, the food is definitely here. Harry sits up, watching as Luke carries the plate to Harry.

“You slept for two hours.” Luke states. Harry takes the plate, immediately having to stop himself from gagging. He’s no longer hungry, he’s just sick to his stomach. He doesn’t want to spend the whole weekend sick, he doesn’t feel that their relationship is at that level of comfort yet. So, Harry places the plate on the nightstand, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, I can’t eat it,” Harry says, his voice quiet. He doesn’t want to upset Luke, he wants to have a good weekend. Luke frowns, standing in front of the bed. “Harry, you just said you were hungry.” He argues.

Harry frowns. “I know, but I feel really sick.”

“Are you even going to eat tonight? I worked hard to get us here.” Luke continues. Harry sighs, running his fingers through his now greasy hair. That’s also why he doesn’t like other people touching his hair, they always make it greasy. Harry will have to wash it before going out tonight. “I’ll try to eat something tonight. We could always come back a different weekend, when I’m feeling better. Louis can get us in really easily.”

Luke rolls his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. “There you go again. Louis this, Louis that. You’re still just as dependent on him as you were when you were 16.” Luke says. Harry furrows his eyebrows, not believing what he’s hearing. Dependent? Harry isn’t dependent on Louis. Harry’s done well for himself. He’s the one that got himself the internship with the photographer, he’s the one that created his own business, even though Louis tried to loan him money to help out. If Harry was dependent on Louis, he’d be driving his dream car, living in his dream house, and he’d never go to work.

Before Harry can respond, Luke’s phone starts ringing. Luke pulls his phone out of his pocket, glancing at the screen. He doesn’t answer it, instead, looking up at Harry again. “You need to start getting ready. Don’t take forever in the shower, I need to get in after you.”

Luke finally answers the phone, bringing it to his ear. He doesn’t greet the person, he simply makes his way to the door of the hotel room, walking out into the hall and shutting the door behind him. Harry frowns, pulling his own phone out.

No texts or calls from Louis. Harry wants so badly to text Louis and tell him about how Luke is paying someone to unpack their things, so they can laugh about how ridiculous it is, but he isn’t sure how Louis would take it. Before, Harry would have no doubts that Louis would laugh along with it. Now, Harry isn’t sure if Louis would think Harry was trying to rub it in his face or make him upset. Harry sighs, looking over at the food. He knows he has to eat something, he can’t go all day without eating, no matter how sick he feels.

Harry reaches for the plate, carefully biting off a piece of the bagel. He chews the piece, tossing it around in his mouth. The flavor isn’t bad, it’s just the smell of it. Once Harry’s chewed the piece up enough, he swallows it. Okay, that wasn’t bad. Maybe Harry can fake his way through the dinner tonight. Harry quickly eats the rest of the bagel, not allowing himself enough time to focus on it. If he doesn’t think about it, he’ll be able to get through it. When he’s done, Harry walks into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He’d love nothing more than to turn on his favorite music and take a long, relaxing shower, but he doesn’t want to piss Luke off even more than he already has.

When the water is warm enough, Harry strips down, stepping into the shower. The water runs over his chest, immediately soothing his sore nipples. Harry feels the water dripping on his head, straightening his curls. He drops his chin to his chest, examining his nipples. They’re swollen and darker than usual, which confuses Harry. His nipples have never been this dark, except for when he’s got a tan. It’s summer, but Harry hasn’t been spending much time outside shirtless. Harry shrugs it off, reaching for the hotel shampoo. He doesn’t have time to think about this, he has to hurry up and shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be the last update until at least Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Follow me on Twitter @/only_theangel for real-time updates and more info :)


	16. Chapter 16: Miser

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Drop Dead/ Holly Humberstone 
> 
> \- Same Drugs/ Chance the Rapper

Chapter 16: Miser

July 23

“Harry, how many times do I have to apologize? I know I was rude before we left, I’m sorry.” Luke says, rubbing Harry’s hand with his thumb. They’ve been sitting at their table for almost 20 minutes, Harry hasn’t said a word. After Harry got out of the shower, Luke was even worse than he was before he got in. Luke just kept repeating that he was stressed, that’s all. Harry isn’t stupid, he knows it isn’t just stress. They’re on a weekend getaway, what’s there to be stressed about?

Luke is holding Harry’s hand from across the table. Harry is dressed in his black skinny jeans, a black button-up shirt, and a cheetah-print leather jacket. His shirt is unbuttoned at the top, exposing his tattooed chest. “I don’t want to ruin the whole weekend, let me make it up to you.” Luke urges, his voice soft. Harry will admit, Luke is making it hard to stay mad at him. He ordered Harry’s favorite wine, allowing Harry to pick whatever he wanted from the menu. Harry has done a complete 180 from this morning, no longer nauseous. Now, he feels like he could eat anything and everything. Harry’s mouth was watering at everything on the menu, making it hard for Harry to decide what he wanted.

So, Harry settled for the drunken chicken. They haven’t brought it out yet, which annoys Harry quite a bit. He hasn’t been hungry all day, but now that he is, he’s absolutely famished. Harry sighs, pulling his hand away from Luke and running it through his hair. “I’m over it, I want to have a good weekend, too,” Harry says, genuinely feeling like he’s over their incident. He knows everyone gets stressed out, at least it wasn’t worse than it was. Luke smiles, keeping his eyes on Harry. “I thought when we got done eating, we could have tea on the balcony,” Luke says.

Harry simply smiles, not having enough energy to discuss this with Luke. Despite his two-hour nap earlier, Harry is still tired. He feels like it’s taking everything in him to keep up a conversation or to carry himself through the restaurant. Harry is saved by the waiter, who’s carrying their food on a platter. As soon as he smells his food, his mouth starts salivating again. The waiter places the plates in front of them, stepping back. “Let me know if you need anything.”

Luke shoots the waiter a smile, giving him a hard nod. Immediately, Harry digs in. He moans when the flavor of the chicken hits his taste buds, throwing his head back. “This is amazing.” He says, barely even swallowing his food before speaking. Luke chuckles, taking his time eating his plate of food. “Just think, when we move in together, we can do this every weekend,” Luke says.

Harry swallows his food, putting his fork on his plate. “About that, I won’t be able to go out on Saturday nights anymore. Only Friday nights or during the day on Saturday.” Harry says, watching as Luke frowns. “Why not?” He asks, sipping on his glass of wine. He isn’t sure how his next sentence is going to go over with Luke. Harry’s quickly found out that Luke can be a ticking time bomb. One minute, he’s completely fine. The next, he’s a complete ass. It reminds Harry of when they were in secondary school.

The night of the incident, they were both watching a movie, having a good time together. Luke was playing with Harry’s hair, much like he does now. As soon as Harry snuggled into Luke’s side, Luke dropped his hand, placing it on his thigh. From there, things progressed, immediately making Harry uncomfortable. He was only 16, he wasn’t ready for that. Harry expressed his feelings to Luke, watching as Luke’s face twisted in disgust.

Harry immediately shakes the memory away, focusing on the man in front of him. “Louis and I always watch a movie together on Saturday nights. We have for years.” Harry explains. Luke purses his lips together, taking another bite of his food. He savors the bite, taking his time chewing it before swallowing it. “Tell me this, Harry. Are you having fun here?” He asks.

Harry thinks before answering, trying to assess how he really feels. He’s having fun now, but if Luke would’ve asked Harry this question a couple of hours ago, the answer would’ve been now. But Harry knows Luke’s spent an unknown amount of money on Harry this weekend, so he’ll just say yes. “Yes, I am.” He answers.

Luke smiles, his lips in a tight line. “You have fun with me, so you’ll continue going out with me on Saturdays. You work so hard throughout the week, you deserve to have fun on the weekends.”

Harry almost argues with Luke, but he decides against it. He has fun with Louis too, why can’t he have fun with both of them? Why can’t Luke take Harry out on Friday nights? But Harry doesn’t want to argue, he’s lucky Luke’s even giving him the time of day. Someone like Luke doesn’t end up with someone like Harry. Harry drops his gaze to his plate, no longer feeling hungry.

_

“Z, would you stop? You know I have to get drug tested once a month. And why are you even smoking in public? Are you determined to get me in trouble?” Louis whines, watching as Zayn laughs. They’re walking around downtown, pillow hunting for Liam. Liam mentioned to Zayn that his back has been hurting, so naturally, Zayn has to do something about that. They’ve been walking around for almost an hour, with no luck finding the damn pillow Zayn is so set on getting. Louis isn’t sure why Zayn doesn’t just buy the first pillow he sees, but Zayn’s insistent on finding an orthopedic pillow.

“You’re not going to test positive if I smoke around you. It’s not like we’re shotgunning.” Zayn says, shooting Louis a wink. Louis rolls his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. He misses smoking with Zayn, he hasn’t been able to do it ever since he started playing football professionally. He’s even tested off-season, just to make sure he’s still following protocol. Zayn leans against the brick wall, bringing the joint to his lips. He inhales, closing his eyes and throwing his head back.

“Why isn’t Liam doing this with you? It’s his pillow.” Louis mumbles, standing beside Zayn. Zayn shrugs, his eyes still closed. “Something about being too tired after work.”

Louis waits for Zayn to be done, his mind drifting off to Harry. Is he having fun right now? Is he alright? Louis’s thought about texting him several times today, but he doesn’t want to be a bother to Harry. It’s his weekend away, they’ll catch up when Harry gets back. Zayn pushes himself off the wall, tilting his head and raising his eyebrow. He lifts his finger to Louis’s neck, gently poking the bruise there. “What’s that, huh?” Zayn teases, wiggling his eyebrows.

Louis jerks his head away, rolling his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. “You know what it is, you twat.”. Zayn leans his head back, laughing louder now. Louis continues shaking his head, his cheeks red. After Matt woke up this morning, he took the liberty of letting himself out. Louis didn’t mind, it made things less awkward for him. Zayn finishes off his joint, pulling Louis into the nearest store. Louis follows him, ignoring Zayn’s mumbles about the pillows.

Louis can’t stop thinking about Harry’s date. Louis misses Harry a lot, he wishes he had come over tonight. Louis didn’t realize how much he actually enjoyed their movie nights. He knows if Harry had come over, they would’ve been asleep on the couch by now, all tuckered out from laughing and joking around. Louis thinks that maybe when Zayn and Liam move, Harry will start coming around again. Louis has also been thinking about what he can do to fix this. Louis doesn’t want their friendship to end simply because they got busy and couldn’t keep the same traditions.

Louis has considered asking Niall if they could go out on Saturday nights, using Friday nights for the movie night with Harry. Louis doesn’t think Niall would have a problem with that, as long as he still gets to drink. “Lou, your phone’s ringing,” Zayn says, nodding to where Louis’s phone is going off in his pocket. Louis reaches in his pocket, seeing Harry’s name flashing across the screen. Why is Harry calling him? Is everything alright?

“Hello?” Louis asks, watching as Zayn pokes and prods the biggest (and most expensive) pillow of all. “You wouldn’t believe how obnoxious this place is,” Harry says, causing Louis to chuckle. He’s been waiting on this phone call all day. He’s been to the Rossington Hall Hotel before, he could barely stand the overly-polite bellboys carrying your luggage as if it’s a prized possession or the way everything just had to be in tip-top shape. He knew Harry would feel the same way.

“Tell me he’s not having someone unpack for you.” Louis teases. Harry laughs and shakes his head, finding it quite hilarious that Louis already knows exactly how Luke is. Louis has always been good at reading people, even without meeting them. That’s why his jokes and teasing about Harry’s dates bother Harry so much, because he knows Louis is right about them. But just this once, he wants to be able to form his own opinion about someone without it being influenced by someone else.

Luke is on his second phone call of the day, standing outside in the hall. When Harry asked him about it, he told him that he didn’t want to discuss business in front of Harry. Harry got tired of waiting for him to come back into the room, so he decided to call Louis. He found himself missing Louis, knowing exactly what they’d be doing if they were together right now. Harry’s eyes shift to the closed drawers and the empty bags, signaling that Luke had paid someone to unpack. “He did,” Harry says, listening as Louis laughs on the other end.

Harry looks to the mirror, pulling his shirt up as he traps the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He runs his hands over his belly, his eyebrows furrowing. When did he get so bloated? Harry didn’t eat that much at dinner, he certainly didn’t eat anything that would’ve made him bloat. Harry knows he’s been slacking off about working out, but he’s never been this bloated. Harry’s pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of Louis laughing.

“He sounds like-“

“Deal, Louis. Don’t finish that sentence unless you want me to be driving your precious baby.” Harry teases, pulling his shirt back down. Louis smiles, turning to watch Zayn buy the pillow. Thank god he’s finally found one, they’ve been shopping for hours. “Hey, would you want to start coming over on Friday nights? I can start going out with Niall on Saturdays.” Louis says, walking behind Zayn.

Harry raises his eyebrow. “I’ll get to see you twice in one day? Breakfast and dinner? This is my dream come true.” Harry continues teasing. He’s glad Louis is the one that brought this up. Harry doesn’t want Luke to look like the bad guy, so it’s really good that this is Louis’s decision. “Yeah, yeah. I just… Missed you tonight.” Louis confesses.

Harry’s heart rate quickens at this, although he isn’t sure why. He figured Louis missed him just as much as Harry missed him, but hearing it is different. Harry’s attention is pulled to the door when Luke walks in, no longer on the phone. Harry clears his throat, turning his back to Luke. Harry knows Luke isn’t a fan of Louis, he never has been. Harry really doesn’t want to argue about it tonight, so he won’t tell Luke who he was on the phone with.

“That sounds great, I’ll be there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is having a good day! Let me know what you think about this chapter, who you think Luke is on the phone with, what you think about Louis/Harry :)


	17. Chapter 17: Rupta Promissio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Scripted/ Zayn 
> 
> \- To Die For/ Sam Smith

Chapter 17: Rupta Promissio

July 29

“Li, promise me you’ll call me every day,” Harry says, picking his bottom lip as Zayn loads the car down with their bags. It’s finally the day that Zayn and Liam are moving to Wolverhampton. It’s been two long weeks of packing, driving back and forth from Wolverhampton on weekends to get things ready, and nights full of friends not wanting to say goodbye. Louis is helping Zayn, trying to keep himself distracted. He’s never been one for goodbyes, he’d rather not say them.

Despite Zayn and Liam initially being Harry’s friends, Louis quickly found out he loved the two of them. Zayn was who Louis would smoke with before he started playing professional football. After that, Louis found solace in simply watching TV with Zayn, neither of them speaking a word to each other. Liam took some getting used to. At first, they always argued because both of them felt like they were always right. Soon after, Liam found out it was best to just let Louis think he was right. Louis’s life is going to be turned upside down when they finally drive away, but he knows he can always go visit for a weekend.

Liam smiles, pulling Harry in for a hug and rubbing his back. “I promise I’ll call every day as long as you don’t let Luke turn our bedroom into some kind of sex dungeon.”.

Louis twists his nose up, shaking his head. It’s Friday, so Louis is looking forward to having his movie night with Harry. This is the first time he’s seen Harry since he got back from his weekend away. Louis must admit, the weekend must’ve been really good for Harry. He’s practically glowing! He looks different, but Louis can’t point his finger at what it is. Whatever it is, it’s good for Harry.

Niall walks out to the car, his sunglasses pushed down his nose. “Looking good, lads.” He shouts. Louis looks up, dropping a bag to the ground. “You know, you could help.” He suggests. Niall throws his head back, laughing. Louis doesn’t know how Niall is so lazy sometimes. He’s a professional football player, you think it wouldn’t kill him to get extra exercise in. Louis knows practice was tough for Niall today, but it was tough for everyone. They have a little over a month before the season starts, the coach is coming down hard on everyone.

Once Zayn and Louis finish loading down the car, they turn to Liam and Harry. “You ready, babe?” Zayn asks, a small smile on his lips. Louis knows he’s nervous, who wouldn’t be? They’re moving away from their friends, starting their own lives. This time next year, they’ll be getting married. It’s a huge life change, even if you know you’re ready for it. Liam smiles, walking over to Zayn. “I’m ready.”.

Louis turns to Zayn, clearing his throat. His throat feels tight, he knows he’ll cry if he doesn’t get ahold of himself. “Text me when you get there, yeah?” He says. Zayn quickly pulls Louis in for a hug, patting his back. “You know you’re my best man, right?” Zayn asks. Louis pulls away, smiling. He knew he’d be Louis’s best man, there was no doubt about it. But hearing Zayn say it made Louis feel even better. He already knows what he’s going to do for the bachelor party.

Harry and Liam say their final goodbyes, Niall waves from the stairs. Once Zayn and Liam get into the car, Louis turns to face Harry. He didn’t want to rush Liam and Zayn off, but it’s almost 6 pm and they haven’t started the movie yet. Louis and Harry normally watch at least two movies before falling asleep together, so Louis wants to get started. He has the perfect movies picked out, he even got Harry’s favorite popcorn. “Don’t worry, I’ll get your mind off of it. I’ve got the perfect movies.” Louis says, smiling.

Harry frowns, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Lou, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to come over tonight. Luke is ready to move in, he wants me to help him tonight.”

Louis can’t believe what he’s hearing. He rearranged his whole schedule just so he could have one night with Harry, but now Harry is changing the plans again. He’s been looking forward to this all week, it’s the only thing that’s helped him through Liam and Zayn’s move. Why can’t Luke move in tomorrow night? Louis only found out last night that Luke is moving in after Liam accidentally slipped up. At first, Louis was livid. Harry has to be insane, Louis thought. He’s only known Luke for two weeks and they’re already moving in together? Then, Louis was hurt. Why didn’t Harry feel comfortable enough to tell Louis? They’re supposed to be best friends, but Harry is keeping secrets from Louis.

“What? I thought you said Fridays were good for you? You already missed our breakfast this morning.” Louis reminds Harry. Louis had sat at the table for 30 minutes, before getting a text from Harry explaining that he’d been throwing up all morning. Louis’s first instinct was to ask Harry if he was okay, his next instinct was to mentally swear at the new guy. Harry has never been one to cancel things or miss things until he met Luke.

Louis has yet to meet the guy (except for their brief run-in when Louis pretended to be Harry’s husband. Good times.), which is a little strange. Louis’s used to meeting Harry’s boyfriends within the first week. In the past, they’ve all gotten together for lunch or a quick dinner, getting to know each other. That’s only if the boyfriend makes it past the initial stage, many don’t. Harry sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I know I missed breakfast, you don’t have to remind me. I’m not a complete idiot, you know?” Harry argues.

Louis raises his eyebrow. Harry’s never the one to snap back, at least not to Louis. Harry’s always so calm, even when he’s under immense stress. Before Louis can respond, Luke pulls up in his car. Louis shakes his head, not wanting to even be around the guy. He’s done trying, he’s done reaching out. If Harry wants to hang out, he’s going to have to initiate it. Louis is so tired of being rejected and turned down any time he tries to satisfy Harry. Louis walks into the flat, looking around for Niall. He knows Niall is up for a night of drinking, he’s already started. “Niall, are you up for another night of drinking?” Louis asks, listening as Niall shouts from the other room.

“Of course!”

Louis chuckles, shaking his head. He walks into Liam and Zayn’s now empty bedroom, gathering his phone and his car keys. Maybe they’ll go to the pub from last week, where Louis met Matt. He wouldn’t mind hooking up with him again, he was an easy one-night-stand. He didn’t try to hang out longer than he should’ve, he didn’t make Louis feel bad for not cuddling him when they slept, and most importantly, he didn’t expect anything more from Louis. Luke walks in the bedroom, without Harry.

Great, Louis thinks. This is the last place he wants to be. Luke carries his bag to the bed, placing it on the bare mattress. Louis tries his best not to say anything, but Louis’s always had a problem with keeping his mouth closed. “Practically pushing them out the door, yeah?” Louis says, squinting his eyes at Luke. Luke laughs, his smile manipulative and evil. “I can’t help it, I’m just so excited to move in with Harry.”.

Louis nods slowly, trying to ignore the bad taste in his mouth. He still hasn’t figured out where he knows Luke from, but he knows it’ll come to him one day. Louis just hopes it’s not too late when he finally remembers.

“Right. And why is it that Harry hasn’t stayed at your place yet?” Louis asks, feeling braver by the second. He’s never been one to hide his feelings about someone, that’s why Harry has such a hard time finding a boyfriend. Luke looks thrown off by that question, his eyes immediately widening, his smile disappearing. Luke recomposes himself, shoving his hands in his pockets. “How do you know he hasn’t?” Luke asks.

“Because he tells me everything,” Louis says.

Luke narrows his eyebrows at Louis, his evil smile returning. “You sure about that?”

_

“Niall, I swear to god, I almost punched him,” Louis says, seething at the bar. He absolutely cannot stand Harry’s boyfriend. He’s not even worthy of that title, Louis thinks. As soon as Luke questioned Harry and Louis’s relationship, Louis almost swung on the guy. Luckily, Niall came in and drug Louis to the nearest pub. Louis hasn’t even been able to enjoy his drink, he’s just been thinking about that moment over and over again. Niall chuckles, running his fingers through his blonde hair. He’s quite entertained by this, but he’s glad he isn’t actively involved in the drama.

“Maybe you should distance yourself. Maybe it’ll work itself out. Luke doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to stay around for long.” Niall reassures Louis. Louis shakes his head, groaning. “That makes me feel even worse. I don’t want Harry to get hurt.”

They sit in silence for a while. Louis taps his foot on the floor, Niall taps his fingers on the bar top. Louis sighs, stilling his foot. “I’m in love with him.” He admits. It’s the first time he’s admitted it out loud. Louis has admitted on several occasions that he’s attracted to Harry and even had a slight crush on him when they were teens, but he’s never ever admitted this. Niall doesn’t even look shocked, he just keeps staring ahead. “I know, Lou.” He whispers.

Louis takes another sip of his drink, feeling as if the weight of the world just lifted from his shoulders. He’s been trying his best to keep his feelings buried deep within him, terrified of what they would mean. It feels good, to be honest with himself and with Niall. It’s the only way he’s going to be able to deal with this. He can’t keep it inside forever.

Louis doesn’t know where to go from here. He still stands by his decision to not tell Harry, especially not when Harry is in a relationship with someone else. If Luke makes Harry happy, Louis doesn’t want to get in the middle of that. Niall reaches out, resting his hand on Louis’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry. In a month, we’ll be winning matches like nobody’s business and you’ll have so many guys on you that you won’t even remember Harry’s name.”

_

“Harry, I really need your help.” Luke whines, causing Harry to roll his eyes. He’s been in the bathroom for almost 20 minutes, alternating between emptying his bladder and emptying his stomach. He was fine just 30 minutes ago, he doesn’t understand why he feels so crappy. He can only guess his period is about to start soon. He just wishes it would come so he could get it over with.

“I know you do, but I’m a little busy, love,” Harry says, holding his stomach. He’s still bloated, even worse than he was at the hotel last weekend. He hasn’t been able to eat anything lately, he’s been too sick. Despite this, he’s still bloated. It doesn’t make any sense to Harry. Harry wishes he would’ve told Luke to wait until tomorrow to move in. Harry knows if he had gone through with the movie night with Louis, he’d be curled up on the couch right now with Louis playing with his hair. It’s not that Harry wanted to cancel on Louis, Luke just made him feel bad for missing his first night in the apartment.

Luke made a big deal out of it, saying that Harry wasn’t excited for Luke to move in. Harry was super excited, he just wishes he could’ve kept his promise to Louis. They haven’t hung out together since last Friday’s breakfast, which was a week ago.

Harry stares in the mirror, examining his flushed face. His curls are sticking to his forehead, his face is pale and sweaty. He normally feels pretty good in the apartment, but he’ll have to turn the air on now. Harry even considers running his head under freezing water, that’s how hot he is. Harry’s normally cold all the time, so this is new for him. Luke suddenly knocks on the bathroom door, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

Their time together in the apartment isn’t off to a good start.


	18. Chapter 18: Te Desidero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- This is what anxiety feels like/ Clinton Kane 
> 
> \- This is me trying/ Taylor Swift

Chapter 18: Te Desidero

August 12

It’s been two weeks since Louis has last seen Harry. He’s been distracting himself with football practice, dragging Niall to the nearest pubs (even on weekdays), and watching Harry’s favorite movies. This is the longest they’ve ever gone without seeing each other, even when Louis was in uni. Louis has wanted to check up on Harry, to see how he’s doing with being alone during the week, but he decided against it. He had to remind himself that he tried on several occasions to accommodate Harry’s schedule. It’s very clear to Louis that he is no longer a priority in Harry’s life.

And really, it’s okay. Louis knows people grow old and get into serious relationships. He knows that friendships don’t always last. He just never thought he’d see the day when Harry grew apart from him. Niall has mentioned that he’s gone over to Harry’s flat before during the week, but Louis hasn’t asked for details. Louis has found that it’s harder to pretend like it isn’t happening if he knows the details.

Harry is snuggling with it just as much (if not more) as Louis is. He’s trapped in his flat all alone, Monday through Thursday. During the day, he can distract himself with his daily walks and his photography business, but when he goes home, that’s when things get bad. Harry is constantly convincing himself that he heard someone in his closet or that he has a stalker. It’s not as bad as Harry thought it would be, though. The week flies by because he’s so excited for Luke to come home for the weekend. It’s been two weeks of living together and Harry is finally getting used to Luke only being at the flat on the weekends.

They spend most of their weekends together going out or lounging around in bed. Luke comes home around 6 pm on Friday, so Harry hasn’t had the chance to go over to Louis’s. When Luke gets home, he’s so excited to see Harry that he doesn’t want to leave. Harry understands because he is excited to see Luke, but he misses Louis. He’s tried texting Louis, but things just don’t seem right.

Although, Harry doesn’t know if it has anything to do with Louis. Lately, Harry hasn’t been feeling right. His nausea has gotten worse, his bloating hasn’t gotten better, and his nipples are still incredibly sore. Harry is almost ready to book a doctor’s appointment, but he’ll have to wait until Monday to do it. Luke will be home in almost an hour, so Harry is taking this chance to catch up with his sister, Gemma.

“H? You there?” Gemma asks, bringing Harry back to reality. He hadn’t realized he’d zoned out. Harry directs his attention back to the phone, clearing his throat. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking.” He explains.

“About what?” Gemma asks. Harry sighs, propping his feet up on the couch. He’s been even more tired lately, despite barely doing anything. “I just haven’t felt good in a while. I thought it was because I was stressed out from arguing with Louis, but I don’t think it is anymore.”

Harry twists his curls around his finger, Harry’s also noticed his hair growing lately. It seems like for the past 2 or 3 weeks, Harry hasn’t been losing as much hair and it’s been growing thicker. Harry doesn’t mind it, he’s glad his hair is finally growing. “What’s not feeling good?” Gemma asks. “I’ve been throwing up a lot lately. And my nipples have been really sensitive, but I thought it was just my period.” Harry explains.

Gemma is silent for a moment, causing Harry to drift off again. He actually doesn’t know when his period is supposed to start. What day is it even? Harry pulls his phone away from his ear, immediately going to his calendar app. “H, did you get your period this month?” Gemma asks. Harry swipes through his calendar, his eyebrows furrowing. He’s normally on the same schedule that Gemma is on, that’s how it’s always been from so many years of living together.

“When was your period?” Harry asks, feeling his heart rate quicken.

“2 weeks ago.”

At that moment, all the blood drains from Harry’s face, dripping down into his empty stomach. Harry drops the phone on the couch, immediately running to the bathroom. As soon as he reaches the bathroom, he kneels down in front of the toilet and throws up again.

2 weeks?

TWO WEEKS?

Harry was supposed to get his period two weeks ago? No. No, this can’t be happening. Harry grips onto the side of the toilet, listening as Gemma shouts on the other end of the phone. Harry can barely hear her, but he doesn’t need to hear her to know what she’s saying. She’s drawing the same conclusion that Harry is drawing right now.

Harry leans back, wiping his mouth. His hands are shaking, he can feel tears stinging his eyes. He rushes back into the main room, picking up the phone. He’ll have to brush his teeth before Luke comes home, but he has to get this taken care of first. “Gem, I didn’t have my period,” Harry says, trying to catch his breath.

“Holy shit. Look, I have a couple of tests here. Why don’t you drive over?” Gemma suggests. Harry looks over at the clock, frowning. Holmes Chapel is almost 2 hours away, he can’t go. Luke expects him to be home when he gets here, Harry doesn’t want to upset him. Especially not right now.

“I can’t,” Harry says.

“Okay, go buy a test and take it to Louis’s house. I’m sure it’s nothing, but you need to know for sure.” Gemma says. Harry sighs, running his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t have the energy to explain to Gemma that he’s no longer speaking to Louis. He knows Gemma would scold him, telling him to beg Louis for forgiveness. Gemma has always loved Louis, Harry thinks she might love Louis more than she loves Harry.

Harry can’t blame her.

Harry glances at the clock one more time, seeing he still has 45 more minutes before Luke gets home. Harry thinks he has at least one test in the bathroom from months ago when he had his last pregnancy scare. If Harry doesn’t have to go buy a test, that gives him even more time to take the test and process the results before Luke gets home.

“Okay. I’ll text you.”

Harry hangs up, immediately running to the bathroom. He bends down, digging through the drawers. As soon as he spots the pink box, he rips it open, inspecting the expiration date. It expires next month, Harry’s in the clear. Harry rips the test open, turning on the sink water to make himself need to pee. Harry can’t believe he’s actually having to do this. He can’t be pregnant. He’s only known Luke for a month, they’ve only been living together for 2 weeks. They barely know each other!

Oh god.

Louis.

What will Louis do if Harry’s pregnant? Harry doesn’t even want to think about it.

Harry unbuttons his pants, swiftly peeing on the stick. It’s not the easiest thing in the world to do, especially for a boy, but Harry is doing his best. When Harry’s done, he quickly cleans himself, placing the test on the counter. He washes his hands, closing his eyes. Harry’s never prayed, but this seems like the perfect time. Harry’s never been 2 weeks late for his period. Harry pushes down the sick feeling in his throat, leaning against the bathroom counter.

Anytime Harry’s taken a pregnancy test, those two minutes always feel like the slowest two minutes in the world. Harry keeps himself busy, counting the tiles on the floor, the cracks in the ceiling, or the smudges on the mirror. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if he’s pregnant. Harry’s always wanted kids, but he isn’t ready. Don’t get him wrong, he’s 100% pro-choice. But Harry just isn’t sure if he could ever get an abortion. Harry loves kids, he knows he’d be so good with them.

And what would Luke think? Would he even stick around? Would he try to force Harry to get an abortion? Harry takes a deep breath, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket. He set his timer for 2 minutes, meaning his results are back. Harry rubs his hands on the fabric of his jeans, feeling his heart thump in his throat. He suddenly feels sick, but it’s caused by anxiety. He can’t make himself look. He can’t do this.

He wishes Louis was here to help him through this. It would be so much easier if Louis were here.

Harry leans forward, grabbing the test. His hands are shaky, causing the test to shake in his grasp. Harry opens his eyes, catching a glimpse of the two lines. 

_

“Are you sure you don’t have a crush on Luke instead of Harry? You’ve been talking about him all night.” Niall teases, raising an eyebrow. Louis rolls his eyes, his fingers dancing over the rim of his last beer. “I know him from somewhere, I just can’t figure it out,” Louis explains.

Niall takes a deep breath, leaning back in his seat. He’s sick of hearing Louis ramble about this guy, so he decides to help. “Alright, do you know him from football?” Niall asks, watching Louis shake his head.

“No, I don’t think the guy’s ever played sports in his life.”

“Okay. Do you know him from the pub?” Niall tries again. Louis thinks for a second before shaking his head again. He’s seen Luke more than a couple of times, so he knows it isn’t from somewhere like a restaurant or a pub. Louis lifts his glass, taking another sip. He should stop drinking, he knows he should. Louis’s found he’s having more of a problem putting the glass down lately.

“Uni?” Niall asks. Louis shakes his head once more, swallowing the substance. Luke went to law school supposedly, he wouldn’t have even looked at the university Louis attended. “What about secondary school?”

Louis sits straight up, his eyes widening.

No, it can’t be.

There’s absolutely no chance in hell that Harry is seeing the same Luke from secondary school. Surely Harry isn’t that dumb.

Louis pulls out his phone, immediately dialing his sister’s number. There’s only one way to find out the truth. “Hello?” Lottie says. Louis turns to face Niall, shaking his head. “Hey, you didn’t let mum throw out my yearbooks did you?” Louis asks.

Niall watches the interaction, his eyebrows furrowing. He doesn’t understand why Louis is so desperate for this information. “No, of course not. Why?” Lottie answers. Louis quickly runs his sweaty fingers through his hair, trying to recall the details of secondary school. Louis was two years ahead of Harry, so he’d be two years ahead of Luke. Harry was 16 when the incident happened, so Louis doesn’t have a yearbook from that year, but he has a yearbook from when Harry was in Year 10.

“Okay, go to my old room, grab the newest yearbook. I think Harry was with Mrs. Wright. Are you following me?” Louis asks. Lottie hurries to Louis’s old room, searching through the boxes. Louis hasn’t been home to get his things out of his childhood room, so everything is neatly packed in boxes and bags. “Okay, I’ve got it.”

“Okay, do you see a picture of a kid named Luke?” Louis asks, tapping his fingers on the counter. He’s never been this anxious before. He hopes that he’s wrong, that Harry isn’t living with the guy that made the last couple years of his life absolute hell. Louis doesn’t know what he’s going to do if this is true.

Lottie scans her finger over the page, stopping when she sees a Luke Robinson on the page. “Yeah, do you want me to send you a picture?”

Louis closes his eyes, forming his lips in a tight line. “Have I told you lately that you’re my favorite sister?”

As Louis hangs up, he searches his messages for the picture. Niall scoots closer, examining Louis’s phone screen. Niall has only seen Luke once, but he can tell without a doubt that he’s the guy in the picture. Louis immediately slams his fist on the counter, drawing attention to the pair. Niall leans back, his eyes widening. “Lou, what’s going on?” He asks, afraid of the answer.

“Harry is living with the man that sexually assaulted him when he was 16.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to leave it at a cliffhanger! The next update probably won't come until late Thursday night/early Friday morning (EST)


	19. Chapter 19: Prōtegō

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Mentions of past sexual assault 
> 
> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- The Light/ The Album Leaf
> 
> \- Medicine/ The 1975

Chapter 19: Prōtegō

August 12

“Harry? Where at you at?” Luke asks, his voice echoing through the flat and into the bathroom where Harry is standing, staring at the test results. He’s been staring at the results for 30 minutes, hoping they’ll change to negative. Harry can’t be pregnant. Especially not with Luke’s child. Harry bends down, throwing the test in the cupboard under the sink. He knows he’ll have to tell Luke eventually, but not tonight. He needs to think about if he even wants to keep the child. That decision is completely up to him, so until he figures it out, he isn’t going to tell Luke. Harry wants to make the decision for himself, he doesn’t want Luke to try to make it for him.

Harry clears his throat, standing back up and looking in the mirror. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks are stained with dry tears. He had’t even realized he’d been crying, he was too busy staring at the test. Harry wipes his cheeks, smoothing his hands over his hair in order to look more presentable. “I’m in the bathroom.” Harry says, reaching to open the door. When he opens it, he reveals Luke on the other side, laughing to himself. “You spend a lot of time in there.” He says, causing Harry’s cheeks to heat up.

Who does Luke think he is? He has no right to comment on Harry’s bathroom habits. Harry fakes a smile, leading Luke away from the bathroom. “Yeah, well, you learn a lot of things about someone when you move in.” He says. Luke ignores this, immediately going into the kitchen and looking through the fridge. “What do you do all week? Because you’re obviously not going to the store. What am I supposed to eat?” Luke mumbles.

Harry chooses to ignore this, sitting on the couch and watching as Luke continues to mumble about how useless Harry is without Luke around. “So far, I’ve learned that you snore, you don’t like doing laundry, and you pack very light. What are some other things I should learn about you?” Harry asks, trying to pry more information from the father of his child. Harry learned the first fact about Luke the first night they spent the night together. Harry was lying on his back, staring at the ceiling of the abandoned hospital, trying to go to sleep to soothe the ache between his legs, but he couldn't, because Luke was snoring so loud. Harry learned the second fact the first day they lived together. Harry quickly found out he was expected to do the laundry since he would be here throughout the week and Luke wouldn’t. Harry didn’t mind that, it’s not like Luke has a lot of clothes anyway. Luke only moved in with a couple of shirts, some trousers, and various shoes. It’s nothing like Harry would’ve expected. He can almost swear the shirt Luke wore on their first date isn’t in their closet.

“I went to law school.” Luke answers, turning his attention to the cupboards above his head. Harry rolls his eyes, already growing tired of Luke’s vagueness. “You told me that already.” He says. Harry can’t believe he’s having a child with someone and he doesn’t even know anything about him. Harry always imagined he’d have a child with someone like Louis. Someone he’s known for a while, someone he loves and could see himself spending the rest of his life with. Luke turns around, making his way toward Harry. When he reaches the couch, he leans down, holding Harry’s chin between his thumb and index finger, keeping Harry’s eyes focused on him.

“Alright, well, if you know I went to law school, you know I work at a law firm. Which means, you should know how stressful my weeks are. Why don’t you ask me how my week was before you start interrogating me, love?” Luke says, his voice laced with a condescending tone that Harry doesn’t care for. Luke is keeping his grasp on Harry’s chin, causing Harry to proceed with caution. He knows what Luke is capable of, he’s seen it before. He doesn’t want anything like that to happen, especially not when Harry’s pregnant. “How was your week?” Harry asks, his voice quiet.

Luke smiles, moving his hand from Harry’s chin to his cheek, lighting tapping the supple skin. “It was great.” Luke answers, turning back around to go into the kitchen. Harry knows his search for food is going to come up empty-handed, because Harry just didn’t have enough energy to go to the store and grab anything. Now, he knows why. Harry leans back into the couch, eyeing his phone. He wants to tell Louis, he wants it more than anything. Louis would know exactly what to do. He always does. Harry has to tell someone, he can’t keep this a secret. If Harry has calculated right, he’s 6 weeks pregnant. That means he only has maybe 6 more weeks before he starts showing. Harry reaches for his phone, immediately going to Louis’s messages. It’s been a while since they’ve even talked, Harry hopes he’ll respond.

_

“Louis, you have to calm down. You can’t go over there!” Niall says, standing between Louis and the pub door. Ever since Louis found out that Harry is living with the same guy that has made Harry’s life a living hell since he was 16, Louis has been filled with rage. Why would Harry do this to himself? Why would he have anything to do with the person that took something from Harry without permission? He has to go to Harry’s flat, he has to talk to him. If Luke just so happens to be there, that’s not Louis’s problem. In Louis’s opinion, this ass-beating is way overdue.

“Why not? Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go over there!” Louis shouts. The whole pub is watching the pair, their eyes wide. The owner of the pub has threatened to kick Louis out several times, but that isn’t calming him down any. Niall darts his eyes between Louis and Louis’s waving arms, trying to think of a good reason. Louis waits patiently (not so patiently in Niall’s opinion) for Niall to come up with an excuse. “Okay, here’s one. If you go over there now, you’re going to make some bad decisions. You know how you get when you’re angry, you don’t see anything but red. If you fight him, you’ll get arrested. If you get arrested, coach will have to make you sit out for a couple of games.” Niall explains, doing little to calm Louis down.

So what if he has to sit out for a couple of games? Louis couldn’t care less about football right now, he cares about his best friend’s safety. That explains why Harry hasn’t been coming around. Luke has always hated Louis, although Louis isn’t sure why. It makes sense that Luke wouldn’t allow Harry to hang around Louis. “I don’t care about that, Niall! I care about Harry’s safety.” Louis says, his voice raw from shouting. Niall nods, grabbing Louis’s flailing hands. “I know, I do, too. But you have to understand that Harry is an adult. You can’t decide who he dates. This is his decision.” Niall says, causing Louis to shake his head.

No, this isn’t right. Somehow, Luke has brainwashed Harry. That’s the only explanation. Harry has made so much progress in getting over what happened to him, he wouldn’t willingly go back and put himself through that again. Louis feels sick at the thought of what happened at the Rossington Hall Hotel. Did Luke respect Harry’s wishes or did he try to push him into having sex with him? At that thought, Louis grabs his glass full of beer, smashing it on the counter. It was either that or smashing someone’s face, and Louis really doesn't feel like going to jail tonight.

The pub owner makes his way to Louis, his face red. “Hey! Get out of here before I call the cops.” He threatens, causing Niall’s eyes to widen. Niall quickly gathers his things, along with Louis. Niall drags Louis out of the pub before he can do anything else reckless. Niall is gripping Louis’s arm, dragging him behind the pub. Niall pushes Louis down on the ground, causing his bum to scrape the ground beneath him. Niall stands in front of Louis, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Lou, I swear to you, if you wait until you’ve calmed down to confront Harry, I will be right there with you. You know I’ll always be right behind you, no matter what. I just don’t want to go to jail for being an accessory to murder, alright?” Niall says, chuckling quietly. Louis knows Niall is right, he just doesn’t want to admit it. Louis’s always had a problem controlling his anger, especially when it comes to people hurting Harry. Louis doesn’t understand how anyone could hurt someone so precious as Harry. Louis feels his phone vibrating in his pocket, prompting him to check it.

_H: can you come over sunday night? I need you._

Louis’s heart skips a beat at the last sentence. Harry needs him? What if Luke’s done something bad? Louis quickly types out his response.

_Louis: are you safe? did anything happen?_

_H: i’m fine, just need my best friend_

Louis smiles half-heartedly, texting Harry back and telling him that he’ll be over Sunday night. That gives him plenty of time to calm down and to process things. Louis looks up at Niall, resting his arms on his knees. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have acted like that.” Louis apologizes. He shouldn’t have caused such a scene, it isn’t Niall’s fault that any of this is happening. Louis’s always had a problem with lashing out at the wrong people.

Niall sits down beside Louis, throwing his arm around his shoulders. “It’s alright, I don’t blame you.” He says. He stops for a moment, before looking over at Louis and taking a deep breath. “How bad was it?” He asks.

Louis runs his fingers through his hair, dropping his gaze to the ground that’s showing between his open legs. Louis doesn’t know all of the details, he wasn’t there. He only knows what Harry was willing to share with him, but Louis can paint a pretty similar picture. “They were watching a movie, I think. It wasn’t even supposed to be a date, just two guys hanging out. Harry didn’t even know Luke was into guys.” Louis starts, having to pause to steady his breath. After Harry came to him crying, Louis had nightmares at least twice a week for the next year.

Louis should’ve been there to protect Harry. This shouldn’t have ever happened. Harry didn’t deserve this.

Niall tightens his grip on Louis’s shoulders, pulling him closer. Louis feels himself choking up, causing him to quickly wipe away the stray tears. He shouldn’t be crying about this, it didn’t happen to him. Sometimes, Louis wishes it had happened to him, instead of Harry. Louis would’ve gladly taken his place if it meant it never would’ve happened to Harry. “Um, I guess Luke started trying to touch him and Harry said no, but apparently he didn’t stop. I’m not sure how far Luke got, I haven’t had enough courage to ask Harry. I just know Harry was really shaken up and he had marks on his face and arms from where…” Louis clears his throat, trying to recompose himself.

“From where Luke grabbed him to hold him still.”

Louis leans into Niall’s touch, trying to push down the sick feeling that’s building up in his stomach and throat. Louis wishes he could take this from Harry, to replace it with the best memories. That’s why Louis tries to hang out with Harry as often as he can, to create happy memories for Harry to hold onto. In the process of trying to make Harry love himself again, Louis fell in love with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter may have been triggering for you, if it was, I'm so sorry. I tried to be as non-descriptive as possible, while still getting the point across. I will always put trigger warnings before a hard chapter. If you haven't listened to any of the songs while reading the chapter, I suggest you read this chapter with the music, because I feel like it really helps pull everything together. I'm looking forward to the next chapter and I hope you are too! Stay safe :)
> 
> One last thing, if you haven't noticed already, the chapter names are latin words that I think go well with the chapter. If you aren't sure about what some of them mean, look them up! They'll give you a good idea of what the chapter is about.


	20. Chapter 20: Amor vitae meae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Surrender/ Natalie Taylor 
> 
> \- I can't believe/ Rightfield

Chapter 20: Amor vitae meae

August 14

Harry stands at the door, watching as Luke drives away. It’s Sunday afternoon, meaning Luke will be away for another week. The past couple of weeks, Harry has dreaded each and every Sunday. But this time, he found himself looking forward to it. It’s been incredibly hard for him to be around Luke, knowing that he’s pregnant with his child, but not being able to say anything about it. It’s also been hard for Harry to process that he’s pregnant. It would be a hard fact to deal with even if he was in a relationship with someone he loved. It’s an even harder fact to deal with when you’re in a new relationship with someone that assaulted you as a child.

Harry hasn’t had much time to process anything, because he was too busy while Luke was here. If Harry wasn’t cooking for Luke, he was on the phone with Liam, listening to Liam go on and on about their perfect life in Wolverhampton. Harry didn’t mind that part, he’s missed Liam and Zayn so much. They’ve already scheduled a trip to go down there before the year is up. Harry was so relieved when Louis agreed to come visit tonight. Harry was worried Louis would hold his absence against him, not wanting anything to do with him. Harry is nervous, though.

Not only is Harry going to have to tell Louis that he’s pregnant, he’s also going to have to tell him that he’s dating someone who assaulted him as a child. Harry isn’t sure what’s going to upset Louis more. It’s nearing 4 pm, meaning Harry has 2 hours to get ready, make something to eat for both of them, and prepare himself to tell his best friend life-changing news. Harry knows Louis is going to expect him to have all of the answers, but he doesn’t yet. He doesn’t even know if he wants to keep the pregnancy. He doesn’t know if he’s going to tell Luke if he does get an abortion. All Harry knows is that he needs his best friend.

-

Louis looks in the mirror, running his fingers through his hair. It’s time for him to go to Harry’s house, meaning Louis is only slightly freaking out. Louis wanted to dress up and look good tonight, it’s the first time they’ve seen each other in 2 weeks. Louis isn’t sure why he’s trying to impress Harry, Harry has seen Louis on some of his worst days, so he knows how bad Louis can look at times. Louis finally decided on dressing comfortably, in case he goes to jail tonight. Louis hopes that for Luke’s sake, Luke isn’t there. Louis has done a lot of thinking over the weekend, trying to decide how he wants to go about confronting Harry.

He knows he has to stay calm. This isn’t Harry’s fault. Louis knows exactly what kind of guy Luke is, he’s manipulative. He can convince everyone that he’s changed, even if he hasn’t. Harry is especially susceptible to believing this, because Harry believes everyone can change. Harry takes pride in helping people change (even though his success rate is 0%). Even though it was Harry’s decision to go on a date with Luke, it isn’t his fault that he got swept back into this. This is Luke’s fault. So, Louis will be gentle with Harry, but he won’t hold back when it comes to Luke.

Louis has also thought of what he’s going to do about telling Harry that he’s in love with him. Niall stayed with Louis the whole weekend, mostly to make sure he didn’t drive to Harry’s apartment in the middle of the night and strangle Luke. But Niall also stayed with Louis to talk him through his feelings. Louis realized that Harry is his best friend, no matter what. Harry has never judged Louis for a single thing, not even when he should’ve been judged. The worst that can happen is that Harry turns Louis down. Harry would never stop hanging out with Louis because Louis’s in love with him.

At least, that’s what Louis hopes. So, with Niall’s help, Louis has decided to tell Harry that he’s in love with him. He’s going to do it tonight. He knows it isn’t perfect timing, with everything going on. Harry is in a relationship (if that’s even what you want to call it. Louis prefers to call it Stockholm Syndrome), Louis is constantly busy with football, everyone in their friend group is getting adjusted to their new life with Liam and Zayn away.

Louis grabs his keys, making his way out to his car. If tonight goes the way Louis hopes it does, he’ll never have to worry about the deal again.

_

As soon as Harry hears the door opening, his stomach lurches. And not because of the food he’s cooking. He’s been freaking out for two hours, realizing that this is actually going to happen. He’s actually about to tell Louis that he’s pregnant. He has absolutely no idea what’s going to happen tonight, he hates feeling this way. But then, he’s reminded that this is Louis he’s worrying about. Louis is his best friend, he’s always been there for him, no matter what. Harry takes a deep breath, glancing over his shoulder.

“Food is almost ready,” Harry announces, catching a glimpse of Louis. Louis is dressed rather nicely. It’s nothing more than a hoodie and black jeans, but still, Harry thinks he looks nice. Louis sits down on the couch, nodding over to Harry. “Long time, no see.”

Harry smiles to himself, turning his head back to the bubbling pasta sauce. Ever since Friday, Harry has felt that his cravings have become impossible to ignore. Either that or Harry just likes using that as an excuse to eat whatever he wants. Hey! He’s eating for two, no one can judge him for how much he eats now. “I know. Sorry about that, things have been crazy around here.” Harry answers. The pasta sauce only has a few more minutes before it’s ready, so Harry starts preparing the drinks. He settled for water for both of them, that way Louis can’t ask Harry why he isn’t drinking his usual alcoholic beverage on their night together.

“Yeah, yeah. I don’t doubt that, living with a rapist and all.”

Harry’s body tenses, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. Did he hear that right? Did Louis just say that? Of course, Louis is suddenly regretting saying that. He hadn’t meant to, but Louis’s always had a problem with word vomit. He intended to go easy on Harry, but obviously, that isn’t working out so well. When he saw Harry, something switched in his mind. He can’t stand the idea of someone hurting Harry. Louis rests his hands on his stomach, eyeing Harry. He can tell Harry is tense, Louis isn’t even sure that Harry is breathing now. Harry slowly turns around, his cheeks flushed.

“What did you just say to me?” Harry asks, his jaw clenched. Louis stands up, slowly walking over to Harry. Harry is holding the wooden spoon, the pasta sauce dripping on the floor. It’s the only sound in the whole flat, both of the boys holding their breaths. Louis slides his hands in his hoodie pocket, locking eyes with Harry. “Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out? You’re dating the guy that sexually assaulted you when you were a child, Harry. What the hell is wrong with you?” Louis asks, raising his voice slightly.

Harry rolls his eyes, placing his other hand on his hip. “Do you think I don’t know that, Louis? I know better than anyone, I’m the one it happened to! If I’m okay with it, why aren’t you?” Harry asks, causing Louis to shake his head and chuckle dryly. This isn’t how he planned the night to go, he wanted to take it slow and be gentle with Harry’s feelings. “Of course, you’re okay with it. Because you don’t think you deserve good things, Harry. And why is that? That’s right, it’s because of Luke!”

Harry shakes his own head, turning back around when he hears the pasta sauce burning in the pan. He turns the stove off, reaching above him to grab the bowls. He no longer feels like eating, but he’ll be damned if he lets the food go to waste. “It’s none of your business,” Harry mumbles, keeping his back turned to Louis. Louis raises an eyebrow, keeping his eyes on Harry’s tense back.

“’S that right? Then what did you call me over here for?” Louis asks. Harry freezes at that, taking a deep breath. He doesn’t even want to tell Louis now. Why should he? Louis is already upset with Harry, it’ll only make things worse. He doesn’t need Louis’s criticism. He doesn’t need Louis at all, actually. He can handle this by himself.

“Forget it,” Harry mutters, piling the pasta into his bowl. It’s a shame that this dinner has become a disaster, Harry was looking forward to Louis trying his new pasta recipe. Louis loves when Harry cooks, he’s always excited to try new things that Harry makes. “No, obviously you needed me for something,” Louis says. Harry continues shaking his head, carrying his bowl to the table. His eyes are watering, his throat is tightening up. Harry hates being so emotional, it’s driving him insane. He’s always been a fairly sensitive person, but it’s never been this bad. Louis sighs, preparing his own bowl of pasta. Once he’s done, he joins Harry at the table, sitting in front of him. For a while, they both sit in silence, enjoying the food together.

Louis never fails to be impressed by Harry’s skills in the kitchen. It’s something Louis wishes he was good at. With traveling for games and constantly going back and forth to practice, Louis’s never had time to learn how to cook properly. He’d love for Harry to teach him someday. Louis can tell that Harry’s trying not to cry, he can see the glaze in his eyes. Louis sighs, reaching out his hand to grab Harry’s. Harry flinches, trying to pull it away before Louis can catch him. Louis wraps his hand around Harry’s, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“H, I’m sorry. I just want to protect you.” Louis starts, his voice quiet. Harry keeps his eyes on the pasta, not saying anything. Louis takes a deep breath, starting again. “Is he good to you, Harry?”

Harry looks up, his eyes filled with tears. His bottom lip is stuck out, making Louis’s heart break. Harry always looks so pitiful when he cries, it’s almost too much for Louis to handle. He just wants to wrap Harry up in a big hug, making him feel better. “He’s… Fine, Lou. He has his bad days, but everyone does. I truly believe he’s changed.” Harry answers. His voice is shaky, making it hard to understand. His hands are starting to sweat, so he rubs them against his jeans. He knows he’s going to have to tell Louis soon, Louis has a way of prying things out of Harry without even trying. Louis starts moving his thumb on Harry’s hand, bringing Harry back to reality.

Harry clears his throat, feeling his heart rate quicken. He has no idea how this is going to go, but he needs to get it over with. Louis tries his best to fake a smile, but Harry can see right through it. “Haz, you know you don’t have to be with him. There are so many people that love you, so many people would kill to be with you. He’s not your only option.” Louis starts, feeling his own heart rate quicken. He’s so close to admitting his feelings, he can taste the words on his tongue. Harry gently pulls his hand away, confusing Louis. Louis looks down at where their hands used to meet, furrowing his eyebrows.

“No, you’re wrong. He is my only option.” Harry says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Louis frowns, leaning forward to hear Harry better. What is Harry talking about? He’s wrong, Luke isn’t his only option. Louis knows he’s scared off other potential boyfriends of Harry’s, but that doesn’t mean that no one wants Harry. Louis wants Harry.

“You’re crazy. Harry, I-“

“Because I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it finally happened! The next couple of chapters are going to be... Interesting. Let me know your thoughts!


	21. Chapter 21: Incredibili

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Mentions of abortion 
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- White Roses/ Greyson Chance
> 
> \- Let Him Go/ JUNG & Clara Mae

Chapter 21: Incredibili

Louis stares straight ahead, trying to process what Harry just said.

Pregnant?

You’ve got to be kidding. This can’t be happening.

Actually, of course, this would happen to Louis. After 19 years, the night he decides to tell Harry that he’s in love with him, Harry announces that he’s pregnant. Not only is he pregnant, but it’s also with his abuser’s child. This has to be some sort of sick joke. Louis starts laughing quietly, shaking his head.

Harry’s eyes widen, a nervous frown on his face. “Louis? Are you alright?” Harry asks. He wasn’t sure what reaction Louis would have, but he never in a million years expected this reaction. He’s laughing, why is he laughing? Louis stands up, carrying his bowl to the sink. He starts washing dishes, his back to Harry. Harry stays still, watching Louis. What does this mean? Why isn’t Louis talking to Harry?

As if on cue, Louis opens his mouth while he washes the dishes. “Luke’s child, I presume? Unless you’ve been sneaking around on everyone.” Louis says, his voice monotonous. Harry stands up, carrying his own empty bowl to the sink. He stands beside Louis, his arm bumping against Louis’s shoulder. “Yes, it’s his.”

Louis nods slowly, grabbing Harry’s bowl from his hands. Louis is trying his best to remain calm, but he’s not sure how much longer he can keep up the facade. He wants to scream, he wants to ruin this whole flat, he wants to go crazy. But he can’t, he has to hold it together. Louis takes a deep breath, washing Harry’s bowl. “Right. I have practice all throughout the week, but I can get done early on Friday maybe.” Louis says, causing Harry to furrow his eyebrows.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asks, moving to dry the dishes. Louis finishes washing the bowls and the pans, turning to face Harry. “For the abortion.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. When did Louis decide that Harry is getting an abortion? That isn’t Louis’s decision to make. “I’m not getting an abortion, Louis,” Harry says. Louis laughs, shaking his finger at Harry. “That’s a good one, H.”

Harry rolls his eyes, putting the dishes back in their places. “I’m not joking. You know how I feel about babies, I’ve always wanted them.” Harry argues. Louis can’t believe what he’s hearing. Is Harry seriously going to keep this pregnancy? There’s no way, Louis won’t allow it. “Harry, why on god’s earth do you want to keep this pregnancy? Do you honestly think having the child of your abuser is a good idea? What if the baby turns out to be like him?”

Harry’s eyes widen as the bowl he was holding slips out of his hand, shattering on the floor. Harry and Louis ignore it, both too focused on the problem at hand. “Louis! That’s not fair and you know it. Luke made a bad decision once in his life, that doesn’t define him. And stop calling him my abuser, he’s more than that.”

Louis snorts. “Yeah, because for some unknown reason you decided to make him not only your roommate, but your boyfriend and now the father of your child!”

“Everyone’s made mistakes, Louis. What about that time you punched a kid 2 years lower than you?”

“I’m sorry, are you comparing a punch to sexual assault?!” Louis asks, his eyes wide. He can’t believe that Harry is going to keep the pregnancy. Nothing good can come out of it. This pregnancy is a mistake, it’s wrong.

Harry doesn’t respond. Instead, he bends down and starts cleaning up the shattered bowl. Louis takes this opportunity to prove his point. “How are you going to raise a child? You can’t even afford this flat, that’s why you had to have Luke move in.” Louis says. Harry picks the broken pieces up, carrying them over to the trash bin. Tears have started to slip out of his eyes, but he tries to ignore them. He has to start being strong, not only for himself, but for his child. “Luke will help me.”

“And you’re sure about that? Because I think the second you tell Luke, he’s going to run. Harry, I know what kind of guy he is. I’m surrounded by his type constantly during football season. He doesn’t care about you, he just wants to get what he could never have when he was a teenager.” Louis explains, his own voice strained. He hates that he’s saying these things, but he doesn’t want Harry to get hurt. He wants Harry to get away from Luke and to have an abortion so things can go back to normal. Louis was supposed to tell Harry that he’s in love with him, how did it turn into this?

How is Louis going to deal with Harry being a father? Louis will never be able to tell Harry how he feels. Especially not if Luke actually does stick around. Harry finishes cleaning up his mess, wiping the tears from his cheeks. “This is my decision. I know the situation isn’t ideal, but I can handle it. You have to stop treating me like a child. I’m an adult. I’m having a baby, Louis.” Harry says, a small smile forming on his lips at the last part. Louis knows Harry’s right, it isn’t his decision to make. But god, he wishes he could.

Louis blinks away his tears, taking a seat at the table again. He takes a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. Harry’s made his mind up, Louis knows there’s nothing he can do to change it. As Harry’s best friend, it’s Louis’s job to support him even when no one else does. Louis knows Harry will have it rough for a while, he wants to be able to help. He has to put his personal feelings about the situation to the side and support his best friend. That’s the right thing to do.

  
“Who else knows?” Louis asks, lifting his head to see Harry shaking his head. “Just you.” Harry answers. Louis drops his gaze back down to the table, drumming his fingers on the surface. “Are you going to tell anyone else?” He asks.

“Of course. I’m just going to wait until I get things figured out.”

Harry moves his hand to his stomach, rubbing his thumb over the bloated mound. Louis quickly figures out that this is what has been causing Harry’s glow lately. Louis smiles softly at the thought of Harry having a bump. He just knows Harry is going to be the best mom ever, he has no doubts about that. “How far along are you?” Louis asks, his voice quiet. Harry smiles, moving closer to Louis. He grabs his hands, moving them to his stomach. Louis is taken back, looking up at Harry. Harry holds Louis’s hands on his stomach, smiling down at him. “I think I’m 6 weeks, but I’m gonna make an appointment soon to find out for sure,” Harry explains.

Louis swallows the lump in his throat, watching as Harry moves his hands away. Louis keeps his on his stomach, keeping his eyes there too. He wishes that this had happened differently. Louis wishes Harry was pregnant with his child, not Luke’s. Louis wishes he was 100% excited for this pregnancy, instead of being 60% angry, 10% concerned, 20% excited, and 10% jealous. Harry sighs contently, his dimples showing. “Do you think I’m going to be a good mom?” He asks. Louis can sense that he’s nervous, but he has absolutely no reason to be.

“Are you kidding, H? You were always great with the twins when we were younger. You were even great with Doris and Ernest.” Louis says, causing Harry to blush. When the boys were just kids, they both had to watch over Louis’s siblings while Johannah was at work. Harry was always a natural, distracting the kids when they would get on Louis’s nerves. Harry was always patient with them, never scolding them or making them feel bad. Harry smiles, pulling away from Louis. Louis drops his hands to his lap, clearing his throat. Harry sits in front of Louis, worry quickly washing over his face. “I’m telling Luke tomorrow. I’m gonna surprise him at work.” Harry says.

Louis’s smile fades, getting replaced by a melancholy feeling. He genuinely hopes that he’s wrong about Luke, but he doesn’t think he is. If Luke leaves Harry, Louis doesn’t know what Harry will do. There’s absolutely no way Harry can afford to live on his own. And even if he could, Harry still isn’t comfortable staying alone all the time. Louis doesn’t allow himself to think about it much longer, not wanting to get angry again.

Louis has to put his feelings to the side, _all of them_ , in order to be there for Harry during this time. He can’t allow himself to think about how much he’d rather Harry be pregnant with his child, how much he’d love to beat Luke to a pulp, or how much he just wishes he could be with Harry. Instead, Louis will focus on being the best uncle to the baby. He’ll protect the baby, especially from Luke. It’s a sickening thought that Louis will have to protect the child from its own father, but you never know what some people are capable of. Along with that, Louis will have to protect Harry from Luke. He knows Harry doesn’t want any protection or help, but it isn’t being offered, it’s being insisted. Louis is still trying to forgive himself for what happened to Harry when he was a teenager, he isn’t sure he could take anything else happening to Harry.

Louis smiles softly, his eyes squinting at the corners. “I hope it goes well,” Louis says, standing up. Louis hadn’t wanted to leave this soon, but he really wants to go home and cry himself to sleep. He knows he shouldn’t drink when he has practice in the morning, but Louis doesn’t care. He has to get his mind off of this. It’s too painful to think about. Harry drops his eyes to the table, picking at his fingers under the table. Harry isn’t sure what Louis is thinking. Is he mad at Harry? Does he hate him? In a way, tonight went better than Harry expected it to go. He almost expected Louis to storm out after he told him the news.

Harry’s glad that Louis seems like he’s coming around, but he still isn’t sure how Louis feels. “Lou, are you mad at me?” Harry asks, his voice barely audible. Louis stops in his tracks, frowning.

“Of course not, Harry. I don’t agree with your decisions, but I’m not mad at you. I’m… Proud of you. I think it takes strength to do what you’re doing. I know I couldn’t do it.” Louis reassures Harry, watching as Harry’s face lights up.

“Thank you.”


	22. Chapter 22: Auxilium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Safe places (Acoustic)/ Cassidy King
> 
> \- Today/ Ezra Henderson

Chapter 22: Auxilium

August 13

“We have exactly a month before the season starts, which means we have to start being serious about these practices. That means no more leaving early, no tardies, and absolutely no excuses! If we want any chance at beating United Sheffield we have to be serious.” Coach says, watching as all of the players nod their heads. The players all disperse from the crowd, making their way to the locker room to eat their lunch. Louis is excited for the start of the season, but he’s nervous. He didn’t sleep at all when he got home, he was too worried about Harry. Louis doesn’t understand why Harry won’t get an abortion, but Louis wants to be there for him no matter what. Louis checks his watch, seeing that Harry is supposed to be at Luke’s office now.

Louis doesn’t think it’s a good idea to confront Luke at work, but Harry insisted. Niall bumps Louis’s shoulder, his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s going on? Normally you’re the first person to go to lunch.” Niall observes, causing Louis to smile softly. Louis starts walking to the locker room, Niall closed behind. “It’s nothing.” Louis lies, looking around the room to see all of the players digging through their bags. Louis copies their actions, fishing around for his phone. “How did it go last night? Did you tell him?” Niall asks. Niall knew that Louis was going to tell Harry that he loved him last night.

Louis raises his eyebrows, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He doesn’t think it’s his right to tell Niall that Harry is pregnant, so he won’t. He’ll respect Harry’s wishes, allowing him to decide when he wants to tell people. “I didn’t, no. It just didn’t feel like the right time.” Louis lies again, watching Niall frown. Niall fishes his lunch out of his bag, sitting on the bench. Before Niall can scold Louis, Louis checks his phone. As soon as he goes to his messages, he sees he has multiple from Harry.

_H: lou i don’t think i can do this_

_H: i can’t go by myself_

_H: will you go with me on your lunch break_

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t want Harry to have to go through this alone, but he isn’t sure if this is any of his business. He doesn’t want to get involved in this any more than he already is. Then again, Louis doesn’t want anything bad to happen to Harry. If Louis is there, he can protect Harry. Louis brings his bag over his shoulder, moving his thumbs to send Harry a text.

Louis: leaving now, send me the address

Louis shoves his phone in his pocket, walking toward the door of the locker room. Niall looks up from his sandwich, his eyebrows furrowed. “Where are you going?”. Louis ignores him, pushing out the door. When he does, he’s met with the Coach standing in front of him. Louis looks up, smiling nervously. He knows this is bad timing, trying to leave early right after the speech about not leaving early was given, but this is an emergency. “Where do you think you’re going, Tomlinson?”

“I won’t be gone long, I’ll come back after lunch. A friend needs me, I have to go.” Louis explains. The coach frowns, placing his hands on his hips. “I can’t let you leave, you’re the captain.” He explains.

Louis frowns as he feels Niall walking up beside them. “Coach, I’ll act as captain today. I’ll take over his responsibility just for today.” Niall offers, resting a hand on Louis’s shoulder. Louis silently thanks him, keeping his eyes on the coach. The coach darts his eyes between Louis and Niall, a frown still prominent on his lips. “Fine. Not a minute after 2, Tomlinson.”

_

“Harry, take deep breaths. Whatever happens, you’ll be fine.” Louis reassures Harry, keeping a hand on Harry’s arm. They’re standing outside the office, staring at the glass windows. Harry nods, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. Harry is carrying a small gift bag, filled with a onesie that has “daddy’s co-counsel” printed on it, the pregnancy test, and some of Luke’s favorite candy. Harry isn’t sure how Luke is going to react, but he’s hoping he’ll be happy. Harry is really glad Louis was able to come with him because he can’t imagine doing this without Louis.

Harry looks over at Louis, nodding. “Okay. I’m ready.” Harry whispers, watching as Louis nods. Louis walks in front of Harry, opening the door for him. Harry walks through the glass doors, making his way to the front desk. “Can I help you?” A woman at the desk asks. Harry smiles nervously, wrapping his fingers tighter around the handle of the gift bag. “I’m here to see Luke,” Harry says. Louis stands beside Harry, suddenly being reminded that he’s still in his football uniform, sweat dripping down his forehead. Everyone here is dressed extremely nice, everyone looks very proper.

“Are you a client?” The woman asks, furrowing her eyebrows. She’s looking on her computer, the screen reflected in her glasses. Harry rocks on the balls of his feet, becoming increasingly nervous. Has Luke never mentioned he has a boyfriend? Maybe he’s in the closet. Louis’s attention is directed to Harry, a frown forming on his face. “No, just a friend.” Harry answers. Louis resists the urge to roll his eyes. ‘Friend’, yeah right. Harry’s pregnant with his child, Louis would label that as more than friends. The woman smiles, exiting out of her client list. “Take the elevator to the third floor, go down the hall, his office will be the fifth room on the right.”

Harry politely thanks the woman, turning to walk to the elevator. Louis follows him, shoving his hands in the pockets of his football uniform. “You don’t think that was weird?” He asks, punching the button for the third floor. Harry keeps his eyes straight ahead, trying to focus on steadying his breathing. “No, Louis. Not everyone is as open as I am about their sexuality.” He mumbles, suddenly directing his gaze to Louis. “Take you, for example.”

Louis raises his eyebrows, his mouth in a perfect o-shape. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, completely ignoring the ding of the elevator that signifies they’ve arrived at the third floor. Harry walks out into the hall, his eyes scanning each room. “Who outside of your close circle of friends knows you’re gay? It isn’t common knowledge in the media, your teammates don’t know you’re gay. Does your coach even know?” Harry asks. Louis frowns, watching as Harry stops in front of the fifth room. Does it matter who knows Louis’s gay? That’s Louis’s business, it isn’t anyone else’s. You don’t have to announce you’re straight, so why do you have to announce that you’re gay?

“I’m not hiding it, I just don’t feel the need to tell everyone I come in contact with,” Louis explains. Harry smiles softly, walking into the open office. Luke isn’t in the office, which immediately calms Harry down. Okay, he has time to prepare himself before confronting Luke. Harry takes a seat in one of the chairs that line the wall, placing the bag at his feet. Louis sighs, running his fingers through his sweaty hair. “I’ll be right back, I’ve needed to piss since I woke up this morning,” Louis explains.

Louis walks out of the room, quickly trying to find a bathroom. Harry stays put, examining Luke’s desk. He has pictures lined up on the desk, but Harry can’t see them from where he’s sitting. So, Harry stands up and walks behind the desk, dragging his fingertip along the length of the desk. The first picture he sees is a picture of Luke and a precious little girl, who must be his niece. Luke’s never said he has siblings with kids, but it makes sense. Harry moves his gaze to the next picture. In this picture, Luke is in front of a Christmas tree with a small dog, sitting next to a very pretty girl. She’s blonde, skinny, she looks to be around the same age as Luke. Harry smiles to himself, moving to the next picture on the desk.

As soon as Harry sees it, he feels his heart drop. This picture is a photo of Luke kissing a woman… In a wedding dress.

Harry leans forward, narrowing his eyes at the picture. He must be seeing things wrong, this can’t be what Harry thinks it is. Luke is kissing a bride. Harry immediately looks back at the second photo, comparing the two women. They’re the same girl. Harry moves to re-examine the first picture, seeing the little girl. The resemblance is absolutely uncanny. Harry turns around, his back to the desk. He starts examining the walls for more pictures, more proof to back up what’s going on in his head right now. He doesn’t see any, but what he does find is even better than another picture.

Luke is standing in the doorway, his eyes wide. Luke quickly shuts the door behind him, rushing over to Harry. “What the hell are you doing here?” Luke urges. Harry immediately feels his eyes filling up with tears. This isn’t what he expected to find when he came to tell Luke that he’s pregnant. Harry backs up until he feels his back hitting the wall. He suddenly feels sick to his stomach, but he isn’t sure if it’s because of the baby or because of what he just found out.

He’s been fucking a married man. He’s been dating a married man. He’s been living with a married man. He’s pregnant with a married man’s baby.

“I think the right question to ask is what the hell you’ve been up to, Luke?” Harry says, quickly pointing to the pictures on his desk. “You’re married! Where was that bit of information when you used up a whole hour of our first date to talk about yourself?” Harry asks, his voice raised. Luke has surprisingly calmed down, he’s backed away from Harry and his eyes have gone back to normal. “Oh, come on. Would it have really made a difference? You’re so desperate for someone to love you that you would’ve just gone along with it.” Luke says. Harry’s mouth drops, a tear slipping down his red cheeks. Is that really what Luke thinks of him? Before Harry can defend himself, Luke continues.

“You know how marriage is. We haven’t been having sex lately, I needed something new.” He explains. Harry clenches his jaw, trying to ignore the nausea that’s building up in his stomach. So Luke was just using Harry for a good time? “Where did your wife think you’ve been on the weekends?” Harry asks. It’s probably not the right thing to ask in this circumstance, but he’s genuinely curious.

Luke chuckles quietly, leaning back against his desk. “The same place you thought I was during the week. You thought I was working out of town during the week, my wife thought I was working out of town on the weekends.”

Harry’s never wanted to slap someone more than he wants to slap Luke right now. He just looks so smug, like he’s proud of himself. Harry is pulled out of his thoughts when Louis enters the room, shaking the excess water off his hands from the sink. He looks surprisingly calm, which makes Harry think he’s not heard much of what’s been said between the two. Luke looks to Louis, frowning. “What is he doing here?” He asks. Louis rolls his eyes, walking over to where the bag is sitting on the floor. “I know, I’m not too happy about it, either. But we have to get over our hatred for each other.” He says, picking up the bag. Louis has been doing some thinking, mostly in the bathroom, and he’s decided that he’s going to try to forgive Luke. If Harry can forgive Luke, Louis can, too. It’s the best thing for the baby if he grows up in a peaceful household. Louis reckons it couldn’t be too much of a peaceful household if the uncle hates the father.

He carries the bag over to Luke, ignoring the way Harry’s eyes have widened. “Lou, I don’t think this is a good idea,” Harry says. Louis chuckles quietly, shaking his head. Luke grabs the bag, hiseyebrows furrowed. “Calm down, Harry. I’m trying to be the bigger person.” Louis says. Harry groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. Louis smiles, bending his arms behind his back and clasping his hand together.

Louis watches as Luke digs through the bags. He gets a bit bored when it starts taking forever, so he starts looking around the room. It’s a nice office, Louis will give him that much. Of course, Louis being Louis, he starts being nosey and examining the pictures on the desk. Louis’s eyes land on the picture of Luke kissing his wife at the same time Luke pulls out the small onesie.

“What the fuck?” Both of them say at the same time.


	23. Chapter 23: Postremo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Farewell/ Rosie Thomas 
> 
> \- You and Me/ Shallou

Chapter 23: Postremo

Louis’s head immediately snaps over to Luke, who’s holding up the onesie. Luke is married? Louis was right this whole time? Luke’s eyes are wide, the onesie is shaking in his hands. “You’re pregnant?” Luke asks.

“You’re married?” Louis asks. Louis looks over to Harry, who’s still standing against the wall. “Did you know he’s married?” Louis asks. Harry wipes the tears away from his cheeks, shaking his head. Louis looks back over to Luke, feeling as anger fills his body. Why would Luke do something like this? He already hurt Harry once, why did he have to hurt him again? “Don’t worry, I don’t want you anywhere near the baby,” Harry says, his voice finally finding strength. As soon as he realized Luke is married, he made the decision to raise the baby alone. He doesn’t need his child to be raised by a cheater. He doesn’t want anyone like that associated with his child.

Louis reaches forward, grabbing the onesie out of Luke’s hands. “Don’t worry about that either, we’ll be burning this when we get home.” Louis mumbles, trying to contain himself. He doesn’t want to upset Harry, he is trying his best to remain calm. Luke turns to face Harry, frowning. “That’s what you get for being a whore.”

Louis clenches his jaw, squeezing his eyes closed and tilting his head to the ceiling. He can’t do this. He can’t compose himself any longer. He’s put up with way too much from Luke, so has Harry. Louis takes a deep breath, opening his eyes and looking over at Harry, whose mouth is dropped open. “Permission to break the deal?” Louis asks. Harry immediately gets the reference, nodding and sniffling.

“What?” Luke asks before Louis rushes over to him. He grabs a fistful of Luke’s button-up shirt, pushing him against the wall. Luke’s eyes widen, his hands flying to cover his face. “Listen here, you little shit. You are never going to contact Harry again, do you understand me? If I ever find out you’ve been around Harry after today, I will not hesitate to ruin your life. I would suggest not testing me, I’ve been dying for this moment for 7 fucking years.” Louis threatens, gritting his teeth. It feels so good to finally get this out of his system, he’s been waiting for this moment for so long.

“Harry might not report what you did to him, but I will not hesitate. I have pictures of the bruises you left on him, I have multiple people that know what you did to him. I have no problem sending you to jail. And if you think you’re immune to jail because you’re some fancy lawyer, you’re wrong. I might not be a lawyer, but I have more money than Jesus. I have no problem spending every last pound to put your pathetic ass in jail. You’re not gonna look at Harry, you’re not gonna be around Harry, you’re not even gonna say his name.” Louis finishes, watching as Luke screws his eyes shut, nodding.

“Okay, I get it. I swear!” Luke says, his voice high.

Louis lets go of his shirt, dropping him to the floor. Louis turns to Harry, trying to catch his breath. “Come on. Let’s get out of here, H.” Louis says, extending his hand to Harry. Harry wipes his eyes one last time, grabbing onto Louis’s hand. Louis leads Harry out of the office, into the elevator, out of the lobby, and back out to the car. Louis only has 15 minutes before he has to be back at practice, but he won’t leave until he knows Harry is okay. Harry is clutching the bag to his chest, trying to steady his breathing.

Louis walks Harry to his car, opening his door for him. Harry doesn’t move to get in, he just stands at the door. Louis sighs, feeling a wave of sadness come over him. Harry doesn’t deserve this, he’s the last person this should’ve happened to. Louis doesn’t know what Harry is going to do now. There’s no way he can raise this baby by himself, it’ll be impossible. Louis lifts his hands to Harry’s face, cradling his face in his hands. Louis rubs Harry’s cheekbones with his thumbs, giving him a soft smile.

“Hey, don’t worry about him. You don’t need him. We’ll figure this out together, yeah? Come over after practice, I’ll make dinner and we’ll talk about this.” Louis offers, watching as Harry sniffles and nods. Louis would do anything to make Harry stop hurting, it hurts Louis to know that Harry is hurting.

“O-Okay,” Harry mumbles, tears still flowing freely down his face. Louis can’t leave him like this. He doesn’t want him to be home all alone, crying. He won’t be able to focus on practice if he knows Harry is upset.

Practice!

Harry can come to practice with Louis. Louis smiles at the idea, dropping his hands from Harry’s face. “Actually, why don’t you follow me to practice?” He suggests. Harry wipes the snot from his nose, causing Louis to momentarily gag. “R-Really? I can do that?” Harry asks, his voice quiet. Louis nods. “Of course! Niall would love to see you.” Louis says.

Harry nods, fumbling with his keys. “Okay.”

_

“Louis, what did I just say this morning?” The coach asks, his hands on his hips. Louis just got to practice, barely on time. Harry is sitting on the bench, watching the other players dribble the ball across the field. Louis scratches the back of his neck, examining the field. He’s too nervous to look in the coach’s eyes.

“Uh, that we have a month until the season starts?” Louis tries, watching as Harry cheers on Niall. Niall smiles and sends a thumbs up to Harry, causing Harry to smile for the first time in a while. Coach rolls his eyes, sighing. “That we have to start taking these practices seriously. We can’t have random guests sitting in on the practices, distracting my players.”

“Coach, I know. This is a one-time thing, believe me. I wouldn’t have brought him along if it wasn’t an emergency.” Louis explains, suddenly meeting the coach’s eyes. The coach watches Harry, shaking his head. After a while, he sighs again, telling Louis that he’s finally given in. “Fine, but if I see that he’s distracting anyone, I’m making him go home.”

Louis smiles, quickly thanking the coach. He runs across the field, meeting Niall in the middle. He steals the ball from Niall’s feet, dribbling it between his own. “Is everything alright with Harry?” Niall asks, nodding over to the bench. Louis keeps his eyes on the ball, nodding his head. “Yeah, he was just having a bad day, so I brought him along.”

Niall doesn’t respond, instead, he steals the ball from Louis, kicking it into the goal. They hear loud clapping from the sidelines, where Harry is standing next to the coach now. Harry is jumping up and down and smiling, causing the coach to shake his head. Louis laughs, looking back at Niall.

Louis is feeling better now that Harry seems to be okay. Louis knows Harry will be okay eventually, it’s just hard watching your best friend go through something and you have no idea how to help them. Louis has no idea how to help Harry through this. Then again, Harry might not need Louis’s help. Harry’s always been a natural when it comes to kids, he won’t need any help at all with that part.

It’s the financial aspect that worries Louis. Harry won’t be able to afford the flat without Luke paying some of it. He definitely won’t be able to afford formula, diapers, or the doctor’s appointments that come along with having a child. Maybe Harry will accept help from Louis just until he starts making more money with the photography business. Harry’s only owned his business for 5 years, which is still fairly new in the photography world. He hasn’t built up a loyal client base, but Louis knows it’s bound to happen. Louis will talk to Harry about this over dinner tonight. He knows Harry won’t want to accept financial help, but Harry would rather take it from Louis than take it from his mum.

They have four hours before practice is done, meaning Harry will have to entertain himself. He turns around and starts walking in the direction of the locker room, opening the door and immediately going to Louis’s locker. It’s signed by a huge 28 on the top of the locker door, matching Louis’s jersey he’s wearing right now. Harry opens the door, suddenly being overwhelmed with pictures of himself. Some of the pictures lining the door are of Louis and his siblings, but most of them are with Harry.

There’s a picture of them in their football uniforms when they were 4 and 6 (before Harry dropped the team). Louis has his arm around Harry’s shoulder, Harry’s head is rested on Louis’s shoulder. Harry is smiling, Louis’s eyes are closed. Harry’s always been the more photogenic friend, but Louis always manages to look adorable in his pictures, no matter what. Another picture is of them when Louis was being dropped off at school. Johannah almost had to physically force the boys apart when it was time for them to leave Louis at school. Harry remembers being so upset that day, feeling like his entire world was about to change.

Now, his entire life is actually going to change. He’s going to become a single mom soon. He never planned on having a child this way, but he finds himself being excited about it. He hates that he had to have a child with someone like Luke, but he’s still going to love this child. Harry’s always wanted someone to love him, now he’s going to have a child who loves him.

His whole life is changing and Louis is still right by his side. Harry knows Louis is struggling with this, but he’s doing his best. It means the world to Harry that Louis is being as supportive as he can be. Harry’s glad Louis went with him today, he isn’t sure what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been there. Harry smiles to himself, his hand landing on his slightly swollen stomach. He’s still only mildly bloated, but he can’t wait until his belly is so big that he can’t see his toes.

It’s going to be funny to watch Louis with the baby. Louis’s never been great with kids, which is ironic considering how many younger siblings he has. Harry’s always been right by his side, entertaining the kids and making sure they were taken care of when Jo was at work. Harry called earlier this morning to make an appointment to determine how far along he is and for the first ultrasound. Harry doesn’t want to go alone, he isn’t sure what he’s going to do. He knows his family would go if he wanted them to, but he hasn’t told them yet. He has no doubts his family is going to be supportive, but he isn’t ready to tell them yet. He’d ask Liam or Zayn to go with him, but they’re so far away. Harry sighs, leaning his back against the locker. This will just be another topic Louis and Harry have to discuss tonight.


	24. Chapter 24: Collaboratio maximi momenti

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- The Wisp Sings/ Winter Aid
> 
> \- I found/ Amber Run

Chapter 24: Collaboratio maximi momenti

"Harry, are you just going to stare out the window all day?” Louis asks, glancing over his shoulder. Louis tried to be creative and make something for the two of them to eat, but he ended up settling for pizza once he realized he’d never live up to Harry’s cooking skills. The two of them ate their pizza in silence, neither one sure how to start the uncomfortable conversation. Louis knows Harry will be offended when he offers him financial help and Harry knows Louis will be caught in a hard place when he asks if he can go to the doctor with him.

They’ve been done eating for a while, both of them sitting on the couch. Harry’s got his arms crossed over his chest, his hair in a low bun. Louis is a fan of the bun, he’s never seen Harry wear one before. His hair has just now gotten long enough to put it in a bun, only the curls sticking out of the end. Harry smiles to himself, keeping his eyes on the window. “You know I don’t want to have this conversation.” He mumbles, his dimple poking out. Louis purses his lips, looking down at his lap. “It has to be had, Harry. You’re having a child, you have to be a big boy now.” Louis teases, lightly nudging Harry on the arm.

Harry finally turns to look at Louis, his smile fading. “How did I not realize he was married?” He asks, his voice low. Louis can see that Harry is hurt, despite his cheering and encouragement during practice earlier. Louis frowns, leaning back against the couch. “Did you know?” He asks.

Louis hesitates, not sure what to say. Yes, he had a feeling. But did he know? No. Louis is normally the kind to be the first one to say “I knew before everyone,” but it doesn’t feel right in this moment. He’s been so harsh on Harry lately, he doesn’t want him to feel like he was the only person Luke was fooling. So, Louis shakes his head. “No, I had no idea.” He answers. Harry keeps his face blank, doing his best not to let Louis know that he’s hurting. He was a fool, he should’ve known better. People like that don’t change, no matter how much Harry wants them to. Harry uncrosses his arms, resting his hands on his bloated belly. “I have an appointment Wednesday at 1:15. I don’t want to go alone, Louis.” Harry says.

Louis furrows his eyebrows. “Isn’t Anne or Gemma going with you?” Louis asks. Harry shakes his head, his cheeks reddening. “I haven’t told them yet.”

“Why not? You know they won’t care.” Lous urges. Harry shakes his head again, tugging his bottom lip between his front teeth. “It’s embarrassing, Lou. I was dating a married man, he’s a father! I was fooled by the same man twice. And I was stupid enough to get pregnant.”

“Harry, you’re not stupid. You’re kind, that’s what you are. This isn’t your fault. You know your mum will love this baby.” Louis says. He hates to see Harry so down on himself. Louis thinks Harry is perfect, why can’t Harry see the same? Harry pouts his lips, batting his long eyelashes. “Please go with me.” He whines.

Louis smiles softly, shaking his head. He’s never been able to tell Harry no. What would it hurt? Louis can talk to the coach about letting him go during his lunch break, Niall will have no problem taking over responsibility. “Fine. I’ll go with you, as long as you let me pay for the appointment.”

Harry’s eyes widen, dropping his pouty lips. “Absolutely not! They’re 100 pounds!” Harry protests. Louis drops his smile, frowning at his friend. “Harry, I know you’re already going to struggle to pay the full amount for the rent. Just let me do this, yeah?”

Harry stares at Louis, his gaze softening. Louis can tell he’s considering it, as much as he doesn’t want to. Louis could pay for Harry’s flat, every doctor’s appointment, and everything for the baby with absolutely no problem, but he knows Harry won’t let him do that. So, he’ll help out in any way he can. Harry sighs, leaning forward and resting his head on Louis’s shoulder. “Fine.” He whispers. Louis rests his head on top of Harry’s, shutting his eyes. He wishes he had told Harry he loved him months ago before this ever happened. He wishes he hadn’t put it off for so long. Now, he can’t ever tell Harry that he loves him.

Harry will be so preoccupied with the baby, he won’t have time to even think about dating. Louis doesn’t want to stress Harry out, he has enough to worry about without his best friend telling him he’s in love with him. And Louis can’t date someone with a baby! Louis isn’t even sure that he wants kids, much less to raise someone else’s baby. Louis is perfectly fine with being an uncle, but he could never be a dad. He isn’t cut out for that. So, Louis will have to put his feelings aside, for Harry and for the baby.

Louis moves away from Harry so he can take his hair out of the bun. Louis knows Harry loves having his head massaged, so that’s what he’ll do. Harry smiles to himself as he waits for Louis to move back so he can rest his head on his shoulder again. Louis snuggles close to Harry, threading his fingers in his hair. He rubs the top of Harry’s head, softly digging his fingertips in his scalp.

“How long should I wait to tell Liam and Zayn?” Harry asks, snuggling closer into Louis’s side. Louis tenses up at the action, before relaxing again. It still feels so weird to have Harry this close to him. Louis shrugs. “Whenever you feel comfortable.” He mumbles. His eyes are getting so heavy, he could jus-

Harry immediately jumps up, covering his mouth and running to the nearest bathroom. He hasn’t gotten sick since yesterday evening, but it’s definitely happening now. Harry doesn’t want to get sick at Louis’s, but Louis has seen Harry sick many times before. There have been times when Harry has been so sick after a night of drinking that Louis had to sleep next to Harry on the bathroom floor. There have been several times when Harry had the flu and Louis had to carry a trash bin around the house, just in case. But still, being sick in front of someone is so humiliating.

When Harry reaches the bathroom, he kneels on the floor, emptying the content of his stomach. Louis rushes in behind him, pulling his long hair to the back, so it won’t get caught in the debris. Harry clutches the sides of the toilet, feeling as his knees press into the cold and hard tile. Louis bunches Harry’s hair in one fist, using the other hand to rub Harry’s back. It’s a small gesture, but it makes Harry’s heart (and stomach) flutter. Louis’s always been so great to Harry, despite how Harry has treated him on several occasions.

Harry pulls away, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth. He’s so sick of throwing up. It’s so exhausting, it’s so disgusting. Harry just wishes this would go away already, he’s ready to see the beautiful parts of pregnancy that people always talk about. Harry leans back until he feels something hard against his back. Harry looks behind his shoulder, seeing Louis kneeling behind him. Harry smiles softly, resting his back against Louis’s chest. He closes his eyes, listening as Louis chuckles softly.

“So, no pizza anymore?” He asks, gently letting go of Harry’s hair. As soon as he does, he misses the feeling of it wrapped around his fingertips. Harry’s hair is always so soft, it always smells so good. Louis just wants to curl up in it, taking a nap for hours and hours. Harry nods and hums quietly, feeling as a wave of exhaustion washes over him. “Come on, you can sleep in the guest room. I know you don’t feel like driving home.” Louis says, standing up. Harry slowly opens his eyes, his eyebrows furrowing.

Louis’s never made him sleep in the guest bedroom. Why can’t Harry sleep in the same bed with him? That’s what they’ve always done, that’s how it’s always been. Louis extends his hand to Harry, watching as Harry takes it and stands up. Louis didn’t want to make Harry sleep in the guest room, but he had to. If he’s not going to be able to have Harry, he has to stop teasing himself with the possibility of it. That means no more sleeping in the same bed, no more cuddling, and no more meaningless flirting. Louis has to stop torturing himself.

Louis lets go of Harry’s hand as soon as he’s steady on his feet, walking out of the bathroom. “Are you going to be alright by yourself tomorrow?” Louis asks, standing in the doorway of his room. Harry stands in the doorway of the guest room, leaning against the corner. Harry nods, running his fingers through his now greasy hair. “Yeah, I have 3 shoots tomorrow, so I won’t be home until late. I’ll be alright alone.” Harry answers.

Louis forms his lips in a tight line, giving Harry a hard nod. “Goodnight.”

Harry pushes himself off the corner, his hand lingering on the doorknob. “Goodnight.” He says. Louis smiles one last time, turning to go into his room. He shuts the door behind him, making his way to his walk-in closet. He peels his t-shirt off his chest, pulling it above his head. He still has a hickey on his chest from 3 weeks ago when Matt (the bartender) slept over. Louis has thought about calling him up again, just to get his mind off of Harry and what could’ve been, but it just doesn’t seem right. Louis brushes his hand over the hickey before sliding down to his shorts. He hooks his thumbs in the waistband, slipping his shorts down his legs. Louis walks over to his bed, peeling the comforter back so he can lay down. Once his back touches the mattress, Louis practically moans.

He didn’t realize how tired he was until he laid down. Louis stretches his arms above his head, closing his eyes. Louis misses curling up in bed with Harry, but it’s better this way. Louis isn’t sure he could handle being in the same bed with Harry right now. If Harry curled up next to Louis, rested his head on Louis’s chest, Louis might just die. Louis longs to feel Harry’s pink lips on his chest, on his neck, on his lips…

If Harry tangled his slender hands in Louis’s hair, even just for a quick massage, Louis isn’t sure he’d be able to hold the moans back. Louis wonders if Harry is the type to want his hair to be pulled. It would be a shame if he wasn’t, he’s got such great hair for pulling. Louis clenches his eyes shut, his hand drifting down his stomach, to the top of his briefs. He palms himself through the fabric, allowing his mind to wander to what he and Harry would do if they ever became more than friends.

Louis would love to gather Harry’s hair in his hand as Harry sucked him off, hollowing his perfect cheeks to drive Louis crazy, the way only Harry knows how to drive him crazy. Louis isn’t sure he’d be able to make it through a blowie from Harry without losing his shit, but he’d sure love to try. The thought of hearing Harry gag around Louis practically sends Louis over the edge, and he hasn’t even touched himself yet.

Louis slips his pale hands in his briefs, his mouth dropping open when he feels the pre-cum that’s gathered on his tip. He swipes his thumb over the tip, quickly biting his lip to quiet himself. It’s been so long since he’s touched himself, he’s been so busy. He wraps his small hand around his cock, giving it a gentle tug. He’d love to have Harry spread out for him, delving his tongue in something he’s craved for so long. Louis would do anything to feel Harry shake for him, hear him moan his name.

Louis slowly jerks himself, trying to steady his breathing. Louis bucks his hips when he imagines Harry on top of him, riding him as he pants above him, begging for Louis to go harder, faster. Louis bites his lip harder, hard enough so that it draws blood. Louis moans quietly, screwing his eyes shut even tighter as he feels short spurts of cum hitting his bare stomach. He opens his eyes, throwing his head back against the pillow. He tries to catch his breath, feeling as the guilt starts to consume him.

So much for trying to get over Harry.


	25. Chapter 25:  Omnia bene erunt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Comfortable/ Lontalius 
> 
> \- Look After You/ The Fray

Chapter 25: Omnia bene erunt

August 14

“Mr. Styles?” A feminine voice rings out over the waiting area, causing Harry’s and Louis’s heads to snap up. They’ve been waiting for 15 minutes to be called back, Louis is almost certain he’ll be late to go back to practice. Coach gave him a hard time about needing to miss lunch once a month. Louis doesn’t understand why the coach is so insistent on Louis being there during lunch, but he is thankful for Niall stepping up. Anything Louis would have to do during his lunch break, Niall is taking over. Niall isn’t sure why he’s having to do it, but Louis still appreciates it.

Harry gathers his keys in his hands, looking over at Louis. Louis smiles softly, standing up from his seat. Harry’s been nervous all morning. Today is the day he’ll finally find out exactly how far along he is and if everything looks good. “We’re ready for you now.” The nurse calls out. Harry stands up and follows the nurse and Louis to the back. The nurse shows them to their room, simply going over Harry’s vitals and asking him how he feels. Louis entertains himself by looking at the charts on the walls.

There are charts showing the rates of miscarriage in every trimester, what a fetus looks like in each stage, and how many male pregnancies end in miscarriages. Louis doesn’t know much about male pregnancies, considering he’s not able to get pregnant. He never really thought about how it all works, he just knows guys have to be more careful than girls typically. Louis rocks forward on the balls of his feet, watching as the nurse takes Harry’s blood pressure. “How are things going so far?” She asks, a small smile on her lips. Harry smiles nervously, his hair falling down around his face.

“I feel great, other than puking any time I breathe air.” Harry jokes, looking over at Louis. Louis laughs, scratching the back of his neck. “Yeah, I think every surface in the house was covered in puke last night.”

After they went their separate ways Sunday night, Louis was quickly woken up by the sound of Harry puking in his room. Louis rushed in, seeing Harry bent over the bed, puking on the floor. Harry felt so terrible about it, he really had tried to get out of bed quick enough, but it happened so fast. After Louis cleaned the mess up, Harry ended up puking on the way down to the kitchen to get a midnight snack. Louis eventually let Harry climb in bed with him, so he could keep watch on him. Once Harry was curled up beside Louis, he slept throughout the night.

The nurse smiles, darting her eyes between the pair. “It’ll all be worth it once you hold the little one.” She says, smiling at Louis. Louis’s eyes widen, his hand dropping to his side.

“Oh, I’m not the dad,” Louis says, chuckling nervously. Harry rolls his eyes as the nurse looks nervously between the two. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought-“

“Yeah, I get it. But no, never in a million years.”

Louis cringes at the sound of the words coming out of his own mouth. He hadn’t meant to be so cruel, but it threw him off when she spoke to him like he was the father. I mean, sometimes Louis wishes he was. Like when he woke up yesterday morning, after dreaming all night that he and Harry had kids together. After realizing it was just a dream, Louis’s heart was shattered. Louis’s never been the kind of guy that thought much about kids, it’s pretty much impossible to be a great father when you play professional sports. Louis doesn’t want to be an absent dad and that’s exactly what he’d be if he had a kid.

The nurse quickly shuts her mouth, the tension in the room almost unbearable. She clears her throat, taking down the vitals on her chart. “Right. Our ultrasound tech will be in shortly.” She says, her voice slightly quieter than it was when she began. Harry and Louis remain silent as they watch her exit the room. As soon as she’s gone, Harry snaps his head over to Louis, his jaw clenched.

“Never in a million years?!” He asks, trying to keep his voice quiet while getting his point across. Louis sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry, it just threw me off guard, that’s all!” Louis defends, watching as Harry shakes his head.

“What’s so bad about people thinking you’re the father?” Harry asks. Louis raises his eyebrows. Does Harry want people to think he’s the father? Sometimes Louis likes to imagine that he is, but he’d never actually wish he was the father of this child. Louis can’t have a child, there’s no way. Absolutely no way. Louis drops his hands to his side, feeling as the sweat drips down the inside of his shirt. Practice was intense again, he’s starting to appreciate his breaks. “I can’t have people thinking I’m fathering a child. I’m a professional athlete, do you know how much shit I’d get if people thought I was having a child?”

“Professional athletes have children all the time, Lou.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Yeah, straight athletes. Not gay athletes. Almost nobody knows I’m gay. A gay guy getting another guy pregnant? That’s coach’s PR nightmare.” Louis explains. It’s Harry’s turn to roll his eyes. He knows Louis’s not the father, but it felt nice to have someone think he was. Harry doesn’t want to go through this pregnancy alone. He hates the thought of explaining to everyone that he’s a single father. What is he supposed to tell the child when it’s born? Harry knows it’s wrong, but it suddenly felt so easy when someone thought Louis was the father.

“Do you really think anyone here watches football?”

Louis shrugs, keeping his mouth closed. As if on cue, the ultrasound tech walks in. She’s a bright and bubbly girl, pushing in a small cart with a screen on it. She keeps her head down to look where she’s pushing the cart. “Hello! Are you excited to see your baby?” She asks, her voice light and airy. She secures the cart in the corner of the room, just by the table Harry’s seated on. Harry tries his best to fake a smile, nodding his head. “Yes.” He answers.

The ultrasound tech finally looks up, her eyes landing on Louis. “Wait, are you… Do you play for the Rover’s?” She asks, her eyes wide and her smile big. Louis curls his lips in his mouth, trying his best to hide a smile. He shifts his eyes to Harry, who’s laying on the table, huffing. Louis laughs quietly, nodding. “Yes, I do.”

“My boyfriend loves you! Do you care if we get a picture?” She asks. Before Louis can answer, Harry clears his throat. The tech looks over at Harry, smiling apologetically. “Right, I’ll get a picture after the ultrasound.”

She instructs Harry to lift his shirt, spreading the cold gel over his tummy. Louis watches from a distance, smiling when he sees Harry tense from the cold. “Is your baby going to play football as well?” She asks, her eyes still on Louis.

“Never in a million years,” Harry mumbles, gritting his teeth. Louis crosses his arms, frowning. The kid may not be his, but he’ll be damned if the kid doesn’t play football. As a niece/nephew of a football player, you almost have to play football. It would be a waste if they didn’t. “Now, what’s wrong with them playing football?” Louis teases.

The tech places the doppler on Harry’s stomach, moving it around in small circles. Harry frowns at Louis, opening his mouth to offer a rebuttal. He almost told Louis that he’s not the baby’s father, so he has no input in what the child does or doesn’t do. Before he can, the room fills with a steady sound of…

A heartbeat.

Harry’s head snaps to the screen, his eyes filling with tears. “Is that my baby’s heartbeat?” Harry asks, his voice soft. The woman smiles, nodding. Louis watches the screen, in awe. He moves closer to Harry, resting his hand on the table by his head. Louis’s eyes are glued to the screen as the fetus moves around, a blob of black and white filling the screen. Harry smiles, wiping away a small tear.

He can’t believe that’s his baby’s heartbeat. After everything Harry’s been through, this made it all worth it. He’d go through everything all over again if it meant he would be able to have this moment. Knowing that you have a child, you have something that is going to love you so much, you’re never going to have to be alone again… It’s comforting. After the assault, Harry struggled with wanting to live. He felt like he didn’t have a reason to live after that. He was so ashamed, so disgusted with himself, he hated himself.

And now, he’s never going to feel like that again. He’s going to have something to live for. His baby will love him as much as Harry loves his mum. He can’t imagine something loving him that much. Harry knows the baby won’t magically fix everything, but in this moment, it feels like it will. Harry looks up at Louis, his tears almost spilling out of his eyes. Louis laughs quietly, his eyes still glued on the screen. He’s never seen anything like this before. As a child, he wasn’t allowed in the room with his mum when she had ultrasounds done. Louis never thought he could love something so much, especially when all it is is a blob on the screen. But he does love it, because it’s a part of Harry.

“This is amazing,” Louis whispers, looking down at Harry. The tech smiles, quickly taking pictures on the screen. “The heartbeat sounds good, it’s around 140 beats per minute. I’ll get these pictures printed for you.” She announces, standing up. She walks out of the room, leaving Harry and Louis alone. Louis quickly reaches for the tissues, moving to clean the gel off of Harry’s tender stomach. Harry sits up, the toes of his shoe touching the ground.

Louis checks his watch, seeing that it’s already 1:45. He only has 15 minutes before he has to be back at practice. “I have to go, coach will kill me if I’m late,” Louis says, watching as Harry nods. Louis digs in his pocket, fishing around for the money and card that he shoved in his pocket before getting out of the car. When he finds his card, he hands it to Harry. When he found out Harry was going to accept his financial help, he added Harry as an authorized user to his bank account, so he could have his own card.

“Keep it, it’s yours. Use it for anything you need, Harry. Anything.” Louis says, saying the last word slowly so Harry really understands. Harry smiles softly, taking the card. “I promise I won’t need your help for long. Those 3 clients I had yesterday said they’re going to refer me to some of their friends.” He explains.

Louis smiles, turning to walk out of the small room. When he makes it to the waiting area, the ultrasound tech catches him. “Mr. Tomlinson! I have a copy of the ultrasound scan for you.” She says, holding out a small envelope. Louis looks down, suddenly feeling awkward. Should he have a copy for himself? It’s not his baby, it’s Harry’s. Louis clears his throat, looking up at the woman.

“You can give the extra to Harry, I don’t need it…” He says, causing the tech to have a confused look on her face. Before she can be disappointed for too long, Louis distracts her. “What about that picture?” He asks, causing the woman to smile. She digs in her pocket for her phone, handing it to Louis. Louis positions himself next to the woman, holding the phone out in front of them. They both smile, the ultrasound scans tucked behind her back.

“Thank you!” The woman smiles. Louis nods quickly and hands her the phone, making his way back to practice. He’ll definitely be late now, but hopefully, Niall has been able to handle everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1K HITS!!! This means so much to me, I never thought I'd have a fic that's been as successful as this one. If you want, go check out my other fic (it's completed and short), but no pressure if you don't want to! 
> 
> Also, happy birthday to Walls! It's been such an inspiration to me and it's truly helped me throughout some of the hardest times of my life. 
> 
> In this chapter, I tried to capture why Harry didn't go down the path of having an abortion. For some of us, we could never imagine having a child in this situation, but I think for Harry, it gives him a sense of purpose (something he's always struggled with). Yes, the baby is making things complicated right now, but in the end, it will help out more than anything :)
> 
> Also, I ask questions about my fic (mostly what the readers would like to see happen in the fic) on my twitter, so if you follow me, make sure to vote on those polls. It determines how some of the chapters go, and I'd really like your opinions. My twitter is @Only_theangel. 
> 
> Hope you're having a great day & staying safe :)


	26. Chapter 26: Sanitatem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Mariposa/ Peach Tree Rascals 
> 
> \- State Lines/ Novo Amor

Chapter 26: Sanitatem

September 12

“Okay, boys. This is our first match of the season, don’t disappoint me.” The coach says, pointing his finger at the huddle. Louis nods, throwing his towel over his shoulder. He’s dripping with sweat, so is everyone else on the team. “Meet back here 30 minutes before kick-off,” Louis announces. They have an hour before the match starts, which gives them enough time to relax and see their family. Louis’ family is in the stands, cheering him on. So is Harry, despite spending the whole night before throwing up. He’s coming up on being 2 and 1/2 months pregnant and the nausea hasn’t slowed down any.

They’ve gone back to the doctor once, for their regularly scheduled ultrasound. The doctor’s don’t seem to be concerned about the pregnancy, everything looks perfect. Harry is starting to show more, but it’s still not noticeable. Louis can only notice it when Harry is walking around shirtless, but other than that, it’s pretty well hidden. Harry is also doing well when it comes to staying home by himself. Sometimes, Harry will come over and spend the night throughout the week, but that’s going to stop soon.

The season is starting today, meaning Louis will have to start traveling for the matches. He has one or two matches a week, but he spends the day before the match in the city they’re playing in. The team does that so they can get familiar with the field and make sure there are no scheduling errors. The huddle breaks up, Niall makes his way to Louis. Niall, Liam, and Zayn still don’t know about the pregnancy, but Harry is planning to tell them soon. Niall scratches the back of his neck, smiling. “You ready for this?” He asks, his Irish accent thickened with excitement.

Louis smiles back, looking over to the stands to look for his family. “Never been more ready.” Louis lies. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s never felt this unprepared for a season. This is his third season playing professional football, so you would think he feels pretty prepared. But with everything going on with Harry, Louis hasn’t been able to focus on practice. Niall smiles, running backward and giving Louis a thumbs up. Once Niall is gone, Louis makes his way to the stands. His family is on the first row, allowing Louis prime access.

Louis jogs up to his family, his smile wide. “Hey, mum.” He says, wrapping his arms around her. She smiles and rubs his back, pulling away to look at him. “Please be careful today, Lou.” She says, her smile quickly fading. She’s always been supportive of his career, but she’s terrified that Louis will get hurt during one of his matches. The thought never stopped Louis, if anything, it spurs him on even more. Louis moves down the line, greeting each and every one of his siblings. When he gets to the end of the line, he notices someone is missing.

“Where’s Harry?” Louis asks, frowning. Harry was here earlier, he rode with Louis. Johanna smiles, nodding her head to behind Louis. Louis quickly turns around, a smile breaking out on his face when he sees Harry standing with Liam and Zayn. They’re all smiling, but Zayn is the first one to run to Louis.

Zayn’s body collides with Louis’s, flinging his arms around him. “What are you doing here?!” Louis asks, laughing. He truly didn’t expect them to be able to make it to his match. He’s missed them so much, he wanted to visit so badly. But with things going how they’ve been going lately, Harry and Louis haven’t been able to make their way to Wolverhampton. Zayn pulls away, his smile still on his face. “You really didn’t think we’d miss the first match of the season?”

Louis laughs again, looking over at Liam and Harry. “I thought you’d just watch it at home.”

Liam walks over to Louis, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Anddddd…” Liam drags, a sneaky smile on his lips. “We were thinking about taking you out to dinner after the match.” He says, his eyes flickering to Zayn. Louis nods, his smile never fading. “That sounds good.”

Louis looks at Harry, who’s standing by himself. He hasn’t said much, he’s just watched everyone’s interactions. Harry is wearing a grey sweater and his black skinny jeans (somehow he hasn’t grown out of them yet), his hair pulled into a bun. His cheeks are red and his lips are chapped. Louis walks closer to Harry, his lips grazing his ear. “How are you feeling?” He asks, his voice low. Harry smiles to himself, his eyes dropping down to the ground.

“Haven’t thrown up today, so I feel pretty great.” He mumbles, batting his long eyelashes. Louis smiles, lingering by his ear for a while longer. Things have been okay between the two of them lately. It almost feels as if things have gone back to normal. They have their weekly breakfast dates, they have their movie nights, they talk constantly.

Louis pulls away, turning back to his family. He gives them a quick thumbs-up, running back to the huddle. Some of the players are still with their families or getting a last-minute drink of water, but Niall and Harry are ready to go. “We’re going to dinner with Liam and Zayn tonight, do you want to come?” Louis asks, sitting on the ground and spreading his legs. He starts stretching his hamstrings, grimacing and groaning. He hates stretching, but he’d rather feel the burn of a stretch than to feel the burn of his ACL tearing during a game.

Niall nods, stretching his arms above his head.

“You know I’m down.”

_

“Lou, you did great!” Liam shouts, causing Zayn to shush him. They’re at a very fancy establishment, with people all around. Liam’s excitement is adorable and encouraging, but Zayn knows people tend to be offended by it. Louis blushes, looking down at his lap. They won the first match of the season, 4-0. After the match and the celebratory Gatorade shower, the friends went their separate ways to get ready for the night. Louis settled for a simple black suit, with a maroon tie. Harry had to be extra, of course. He’s dressed in a velvet black suit, with intricate designs on the jacket.

Harry was surprised it fit him, he had to shimmy and dance around in his room to get the high-waisted pants to go over his plump belly. He’s excited for his belly to grow because that means his baby is growing, but he also knows it’s going to be harder for him to hide it. He wants to wait to tell people until he gets to at least 3 months, that way the threat of miscarriage is significantly lower. Harry smiles at Zayn, watching him as he puts a hand on Liam’s thigh. They’ve already ordered and dug into their plates, so now they’re just sitting around the table, catching up.

Niall is sitting beside Louis, looking from Liam and Zayn. “So, are you going to tell us the real reason you invited us to dinner?” He asks, a sly grin on his face. Louis looks over at Niall, raising an eyebrow. “Niall.” He scolds, his voice quiet. Everyone knows there’s a reason Liam and Zayn invited them out to dinner, and it isn’t just to celebrate the team’s win. Zayn laughs quietly, his cheeks blushing. He looks over at Liam. “Do you want to tell them, love?”

Liam smiles softly, his cheeks turning red as well. He looks around the table, watching as everyone holds their breaths. “We’re adopting.”

Harry’s jaw drops, before quickly shutting again. What? They’re adopting? Harry always knew Liam and Zayn were both alphas, so they couldn’t have kids naturally, but Harry didn’t realize they wanted to have kids together. Nothing is wrong with that, Harry is happy for them. It’s just… Of course, they’re adopting. Liam and Zayn have always been perfect together. Harry is already envious of their perfect relationship and now they’re having a child together. The right way.

Neither of them were stupid and fucked a married man. Neither of them got pregnant by said married man. They did things the right way, just like they always have. Harry’s hands immediately find his stomach, instinctively rubbing over the swollen flesh there. He loves his baby, he really does. It’s just that sometimes he’s ashamed of how things happened. He wishes he could’ve fallen in love first and had a successful relationship before adding a baby to the mix.

“No way!” Louis says, his face lighting up. This is great! Liam and Zayn have always wanted a baby, they never thought they’d be able to have a child together. Liam nods, smiling as tears fill his eyes. Zayn squeezes Liam’s thigh, feeling as his throat tightens up.

“We applied a year ago, but we didn’t tell anyone because we didn’t think we’d get approved. We got a call last week saying we got approved and a young girl chose us! She’s having a baby boy, he’ll be here in 2 months.” Zayn explains, his face full of pride and love.

Niall’s eyes widen. “2 months? Is that enough time for you to prepare?” He asks.

“We’ve known we wanted kids together since we were 16, we’ve had 8 years to prepare for this. It’s perfect timing, we have our dream house, now we’re going to have our dream baby.” Liam replies, his voice cracking. Harry clears his throat, glancing over at Louis. He hasn’t gotten sick all day, but suddenly, he’s feeling nauseous. Somehow, Harry knows it’s not because of the baby. This time, it’s because of the crushing weight of his failures and his slip-ups.

Harry was planning on telling his friends soon, but now, he doesn’t want to. They’re doing things the right way. Their lives are so perfect, how are they going to look at Harry when they realize he’s having a baby, but he isn’t dating anyone? As if on cue, Zayn turns to Harry.

“I thought Luke would be here.” He says. Of course, he isn’t trying to make things awkward, he genuinely has no idea that they broke up. Louis and Harry have done a terrible job of keeping up with Liam and Zayn, with everything going on. Harry clears his throat, glancing over at Louis. Louis’s scratching the back of his neck, looking down at his lap.

“We uh, broke up about a month ago,” Harry answers, his voice weak and quiet. Silence falls over the table, causing Zayn and Liam to shift in their seats. Niall of course knew the news, but it doesn’t make it any less awkward for him. Louis accidentally let it slip during one of their drunken nights, but luckily that’s all he let slip. Louis thought he told Niall about the pregnancy, but Niall hasn’t said anything about it, so Louis thinks he’s safe.

Liam is the first one to speak, leaning forward in his seat. “How are you doing at home by yourself?” He asks, his voice gentle. Harry knows it’s coming from a good place, but it feels condescending in this moment. Harry feels like everyone is looking at him differently. Harry is the only one who’s actively tried to be in a relationship and fails at it every single time. Harry is the one that can’t stay home alone. Harry’s the one that got pregnant by a married man. Harry’s the one with a struggling business. Everyone else is successful, in a long-term relationship (or satisfied by their one-night stands), and is able to live alone with no problem.

“I’m fine, I’m a big boy,” Harry says, plastering a fake smile on his lips. Louis clears his throat, sitting up in his seat. “This has been great, but I better get home. I have to start packing.” He announces, standing up. He looks down at Harry, giving him an apologetic smile. He knows Harry wants to go home, he’s been able to tell that since they sat down. They drove separately, but Louis is trying to find an excuse so Harry can leave with Louis. He doesn’t want to leave him by himself.

“I actually need your help with packing, if you don’t mind?” He says, causing Harry to pull a funny face. “You need my help packing? I’ve never helped you pack before.”

Louis groans internally, laughing on the outside. “Yeah, but I’ve never had to pack this much. I have two games next week, I’ll be gone for the whole week.” He explains, hoping Harry will catch the hint.

This time, Harry does. He stands up, moving his hands from his stomach to his side. Zayn smiles up at them, watching as they push their chairs back under the table. “Keep in touch with us, yeah?” He asks.

Harry fakes another smile. “Sure thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!
> 
> I will not be able to post again until Wednesday and MAYBE Friday. After that, I won't be able to post again until probably Sunday night. I am studying for exams this week and my boyfriend is coming down to spend the weekend with me, so I'll be extremely busy. If I have any free time, I'll use that to write, but I can't make any promises. Thank you so much for understanding and I hope you're enjoying my fic!


	27. Chapter 27: Relinquo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Anything for you/ LANY
> 
> \- Young and Beautiful/ Lana Del Ray

Chapter 27: Relinquo

“You didn’t have to save me, you know?” Harry huffs, rolling his eyes as he walks through Louis’s door. He followed Louis to his house after Louis made up an excuse for them both to leave at the same time. Louis smiles, throwing his keys on the small table beside the couch. “You mean you don’t like getting saved by me? And here I was, doing it because I thought it’d make you fall in love with me.” Louis teases, watching as Harry laughs. Louis is glad Harry caught on to what he was saying because he wanted to spend extra time with him before he leaves for the next match. He’ll leave Monday morning, getting settled in and practicing that whole day for the match on Tuesday. That one is Lancashire. Then, they’re scheduled to play Sunderland on Thursday, so Louis will have to go there on Wednesday. Then, he’ll be home from Friday to Tuesday, before doing it all over again.

Louis’s done this several times, he should be used to it by now. Leaving Harry alone never bothered Louis because he knew he’d have Liam and Zayn right there to help him whenever he needed. Now that Harry will be alone, Louis’s worried it’ll be hard for Harry. Louis frowns to himself as he watches Harry practically prance to the bedroom, excited to pack. Harry loves packing, especially for Louis. Harry’s always given Louis shit about how he packs, so Harry loves that Louis is letting him help. “Can you believe Liam and Zayn?” Harry scoffs, raising his eyebrows.

Louis sits on the bed, getting a glimpse of Harry’s round belly under his suit. He cocks his head, watching Harry carry clothes from the closet to the suitcase. “What’d ya mean?” Louis asks. Harry carefully folds Louis’s shirts, making sure there are no wrinkles. “They just… Always have to be perfect.” Harry mumbles, stacking the shirts on top of each other. He starts on Louis’s pants, doing the same to them.

Louis is silent for a while, tearing his gaze away from Harry’s belly. He can’t help it, he knows he’s been staring quite a lot lately. Harry’s belly is just so soft and round, Louis can’t imagine how it’s going to look when it gets bigger. Louis thinks it’s absolutely beautiful. The ferns on his tummy are stretching and contorting with every passing week, frustrating Harry. He spent a lot of money on his tattoos, they better go back to normal once his belly shrinks. “You know you won’t be able to hide that belly for much longer?” Louis asks, the corners of his mouth turning up.

Harry blushes, feeling shy by Louis’s remark. Louis has been paying extra attention to Harry’s belly lately, which makes him insecure. Does he think it looks weird? Is there something wrong? He’s probably staring at the stupid tattoos that no longer look like their original design. “I know, I’m going to tell them soon,” Harry mutters, bashfully folding Louis’s briefs. He isn’t sure why he’s blushing while folding them, he’s touched Louis’s briefs a thousand times. He’s done Louis’s laundry, helped him pack, and even had to borrow some that weekend he visited Louis in college and didn’t bring enough of his own. Lately, Harry’s been finding himself blushing at most of the things Louis says. He isn’t sure if it’s the hormones, but he’s been noticing how amazing Louis is lately. He always cleans up Harry’s mess when the nausea kicks in, makes sure Harry is eating even when he doesn’t feel like it, he even rubs Harry’s feet.

Louis lays back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “When’s your next appointment?” He asks.

“Monday.” Harry answers.

Louis quickly sits up, frowning at Harry. Monday he’ll be going to his next match, so he won’t be able to go with Harry. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Louis asks.

Harry laughs and playfully rolls his eyes, zipping the suitcase up. He still has a few more things to pack, such as a toothbrush/toothpaste, phone charger, and shower supplies, but that will all have to wait for Monday morning before Louis leaves. “What good would it have done? It’s not like you can put the whole team on hold so you can come with me.” Harry says.

Louis frowns again, lying back on his back. He knows Harry’s right, but still. Louis doesn’t want Harry to go alone, he knows how much he hates it. And honestly, Louis was looking forward to seeing the baby again. Harry’s 10 weeks now, which means they’ll be able to see more of a baby-shaped blob instead of just a blob. Harry places the suitcase next to the bed, laying down next to Louis. Their legs are hanging off of the edge, Harry’s touching the floor while Louis’s are dangling. “Maybe you should tell Anne or Gemma so they can go with you.”

Harry sighs, closing his eyes. He doesn’t want to tell them yet. He doesn’t want to admit that he messed up. He already feels like people think he’s incompetent, he doesn’t need to give them more proof. He knows his family would never say anything like that, but he knows they’d think it. But he doesn’t want Louis to worry while he’s away, he wants him to focus on football. Harry turns his head to look at Louis, faking a smile. “Yeah, they’ll come with me.” He lies.

Louis smiles, dropping his gaze to Harry’s pink lips. They look so plump and glossed, Louis just knows they’d be heaven to kiss. Their heads and bodies are so close, Louis can practically taste Harry’s lips. He knows they taste like mango, Harry uses his mango chapstick a million times a day. Louis’s always been fond of the smell, he’s been dying to taste it since he was 18. Louis sticks his tongue out, coating his bottom lip in his steak-flavored saliva. He knew he shouldn’t have eaten a steak, he should’ve eaten something sweet, that way their flavors could mix together perfectly.

Nobody wants a kiss to taste like steak and mango.

Louis quickly sits up, his eyes going wide. What is he doing? He has to stop thinking about this! Harry is pregnant. Harry is his best friend. Louis should be focusing on the season, he should be focusing on helping Harry, he should be focusing on anything other than kissing his pregnant best friend.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks, watching as Louis shakes his head and laughs quietly. Louis pushes himself off the bed, carrying the suitcase to his bedroom door. For a minute, Harry thought Louis was going to kiss him. Louis had been staring at his lips for the past 2 minutes, which is a long time when you’re just friends. Although, Harry isn’t going to lie. For a moment, just a moment, he thought he might like it if Louis kissed him.

He’s sure it’s just the hormones that are making him feel like this, though.

Louis walks to his closet, untying the tie around his neck. “Nothing, I’m just nervous about Tuesday.” Louis lies, throwing the tie on the floor. His fingers quickly find the buttons on his white shirt, undoing them one by one. He keeps his eyes on Harry, before quickly tearing them away and clearing his throat. When he reaches the bottom, he hesitates. Lately, Louis hasn’t wanted to be half-naked around Harry. He doesn’t trust himself (Or his body for that matter) to behave properly. Harry keeps his eyes on Louis, laughing. “Louis Tomlinson is nervous? Somebody get this on camera.” He teases.

Louis smiles and rolls his eyes, unbuttoning the last button. He slides the shirt off his shoulders, feeling as his back muscles flex. Louis winces as he feels a sharp pain shoot through his back from when he took a fall earlier today during the match. He’s looking forward to the team massages, he definitely needs one. Louis’s eyes flicker over to the bed where all traces of joking are gone. Harry’s goofy stare has been replaced by a lust-filled one, causing Harry to clear his throat.

He doesn’t remember Louis looking this good when they were teenagers. Or even last year! It’s already to the middle of September, but Louis is still tan. His tattoos are bright and bold, inking his skin just right. Every muscle is on display as he stands there shirtless, only dressed in his dress-pants and fancy shoes. His hair is tousled from earlier, his skin still flushed from the game he played.

“You alright?” Louis asks, furrowing his eyebrows. He’s never seen Harry like this. For once, Harry seems speechless. Harry nods, a soft smile on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m just getting tired. I should probably go. I have a busy week, I need to get everything together.” Harry lies, standing up. He smoothes his suit over his belly, feeling as the bloated flesh stretches. Louis turns to face his closet, grabbing a t-shirt from the rack. He quickly slides it over his head, matching it with his dress pants. He looks down at his outfit, chuckling at how ridiculous he must look right now. He looks up at Harry, a smile still on his lips.

“I guess I won’t see you until Friday.” He says, his smile quickly fading. Before Harry met Luke, Louis and Harry never went this long without seeing each other. When Luke started hiding Harry away, it became a regular thing for them to not see each other for a week. Now that Luke’s gone, they’ve gotten used to being together almost every other day. It’ll be weird to go back to not seeing each other, but Louis has to do it. Football is his passion, he loves it. He can’t imagine not doing it.

Harry nods, feeling a pang of sadness run through him. He doesn’t know how he’s going to be completely alone, he’s never done that before. He’s always had at least one of the boys with him. “Be careful, let me know when you land,” Harry says, his voice barely above a whisper. He hates the idea of Louis flying this much, he wishes they’d just take a bus to the matches. They’re not too far away, some of them, but the team always prefers to fly so they spend the least amount of time traveling and the max amount of time practicing.

“I’ll walk you out,” Louis says, walking toward his bedroom door. He doesn’t know why he’s offering to walk Harry out, he’s never done that. Harry normally just leaves when he wants to, he doesn’t need assistance. But tonight feels different, it feels... Like a date. And Louis isn't sure why. Harry follows behind, only stopping when Louis stops at the door. Louis’s hand is lingering on the handle, his eyes are lingering on Harry’s face. Harry looks so beautiful like this, dressed up in his best suit, his curls falling around his face. Harry smiles softly, his dimples popping out onto his cheeks.

This is awkward.

Does Harry hug him? Harry’s never hugged Louis before he leaves. Why does this feel more like a date than two friends hanging out? Harry’s been overanalyzing his every move all night, worried he’ll do something wrong. Louis clears his throat, dropping his gaze to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll uh, text you when I land.” He says, looking back up at Harry. When he looks up, Harry’s nose is almost touching his, their faces closer together than they’ve ever been. Harry takes a deep breath, leaning in before he can overthink it, pressing a gentle, quick kiss to Louis’s lips.

Before Louis even has time to process it, Harry’s drawn himself back. His cheeks are red, his smile soft and unsure. “Be safe,” Harry says, grabbing the door handle and opening it. He walks to his car, mentally beating himself up the whole way.

Why did he do that? What happened to him? Why did he just kiss his best friend? He couldn’t help it, he barely even had time to think about it before it happened. Louis just looked so good, he’s been so amazing to Harry lately. Harry shakes his head, getting in his car to leave.

He doesn’t know why he did it, but he hopes Louis liked it.

Because Harry did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii! I was able to get things sorted out quicker than I thought I was, so I was able to write more! I'm hoping to have another chapter up today + one tomorrow. 
> 
> AND Harry is finally realizing that he has a crush on Louis! Do you think Harry should've kissed Louis or no? I'm excited to see your reactions to this chapter! Let me know what you think about this chapter :)


	28. Chapter 28: Longum Intervallum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Honest/ The Band CAMINO
> 
> \- I wrote this song in your lap/ We Three

Chapter 28: Longum Intervallum

September 14

“How much shit do you need, Niall?” Louis asks, gesturing his hand to the pile of luggage at Niall’s feet. There are two suitcases and a guitar case. Does Niall even play guitar? Louis’s never heard him mention a guitar, he’s probably one of those guys that have a guitar to win girls over.

Louis knows he’s being grumpy this morning, but he can’t help it. He was up all Saturday night and all last night, replaying the kiss in his head. Why did Harry kiss Louis? Louis had no idea Harry felt that way, he certainly didn’t think Harry would be one to make the first move. Harry and Louis have talked since then, but neither one of them has mentioned what happened. But Louis can’t forget.

Niall laughs, throwing his head back. “Oh, I’m sorry. Not everyone can have their OCD boyfriend pack for them.” He teases, poking Louis’s arm. Louis rolls his eyes, jerking his arm away from Niall. He’s glad he’s wearing sunglasses so Niall can’t see him roll his eyes. “’S not my boyfriend.”

Louis rolls his luggage to the private security, watching his bags go through customs. It’s barely 7 am, he’s exhausted. He’ll have maybe an hour to relax before starting practice. Niall follows Louis, suddenly quieting down. The rest of the security measures are met silently, neither one joking and teasing like they normally do. Everyone on the team is nervous, despite their big win on Saturday.

Once every player gets through security, they board their private jet. Louis hated flying at first, but now he’s glad they do it. They spend less time traveling and more time practicing. Louis settles in his seat beside Niall, quickly pulling his phone out to check on Harry. Harry’s appointment is at 9 today, so Louis knows he’s nervous. He wishes he could go with him, but he couldn’t ditch the match.

_Louis: you alright?_

Harry rolls over in bed as he hears his phone vibrate against the wooden table beside his bed. He’s barely awake, but he’s awake enough to know it’s probably Louis that’s texting him. He lifts his phone, squinting at the bright screen. His eyes scan the text, smiling to himself once he finishes. He knows Louis is probably worried about him, but he’s surprisingly not as nervous as he thought he’d be. The nurses are all nice there, he’s never had a problem with them. Harry rolls over on his back, lifting the phone above his face.

_H: i’m alright lou_

_H: don’t worry, i’ll send you plenty of pictures_

Harry stares at his phone for a while, waiting for Louis to reply. After a couple of minutes, Harry puts his phone down on the bed. He stretches his hands above his head, groaning as he feels his belly stretching. His hands drop to his belly, his thumbs rubbing over the mound. “Are you gonna be shy again today? Or are you going to let mommy see you today?” Harry asks, a small smile on his face.

The first time he went for an ultrasound, it took them a while to find the blob because it was so tiny. The baby has grown a little bit now, so hopefully, it’ll be easier to find. Harry forces himself to get out of bed, planting his feet on the cold floor. He yawns, already wanting to go back to sleep. He hasn’t been sleeping that well, he’s been too busy thinking about the kiss.

He still doesn’t know why he did it, it’s not like he wants it to become a regular thing. Louis is his best friend, that’s all he’ll ever be. That’s all they’re supposed to be. They’re not supposed to want to kiss each other, it’s wrong.

But even then, Harry can’t stop thinking about the way Louis’s lips felt. Harry caught him off guard, but it was still perfect. Louis tasted exactly how Harry always imagined he would. Like tobacco. Harry likes to think their flavors mix perfectly. He hopes it didn’t freak Louis out, that’s the last thing he wanted. He just had to do it, he can’t explain why.

Harry stands up, getting dressed for his appointment. He settles for a plain white t-shirt and his skinny jeans, simply brushing his hair back. There’s no point in showering before the appointment, he’ll be covered in sticky gel when he leaves.

Meanwhile, Louis is checking into his hotel. Apparently, someone tipped off the paparazzi that the team was going to be here because they’re swarming around the hotel doors. Louis shakes his head, giving the concierge his and Niall’s last name. They’re rooming together, despite the coach offering to get them separate rooms. Louis doesn’t like being alone before a game, he enjoys Niall’s presence. “Did you text your boyfriend and tell him you landed?” Niall asks, causing Louis to roll his eyes again. The flight was only 30 minutes, but still, it was a flight, meaning Louis is grumpy after landing.

“Just because we kissed once doesn’t mean we’re dating,” Louis says, turning to face Niall. Niall’s eyes widen, his jaw dropping. Louis takes the key from the woman, watching as the bellboy carries their luggage to their room. “You kissed?!” Niall nearly shouts.

“Sh!” Louis threatens, furrowing his eyebrows. He thought he already told Niall about that, but obviously not. Louis heads up to his room, Niall following quickly behind. “Yes, Niall, we kissed.”

“When?” Niall asks, urging Louis to share more details. Louis has always been super vague, Niall’s always hated that about him. Niall loves details and he loves drama, this is the perfect mix for him. As soon as the bellboy places the luggage in the room, Niall and Louis are bursting through the door, desperate for a toilet and a bed. Louis rushes to the bed, flinging himself on top of it. He lets out a sigh as his head connects to the fluffy mattress, instantly easing his sore muscles.

“Saturday night, after we ate.” Louis simply states, shrugging his shoulders. He doesn’t understand why Niall is so excited to hear about this, Louis’s convinced the kiss didn’t mean anything. Things had been awkward all night, Harry probably just got confused. Because in Louis’s mind, there’s no way in hell Harry is interested in Louis. Harry’s probably regretting that he ever did it, in Louis’s mind.

“Glad you didn’t eat my garlic lemon shrimp,” Niall mutters, walking to the bathroom. He unzips his pants, throwing his head back at the feeling of finally being able to relieve himself. Louis laughs quietly, pulling out his phone. He goes to his messages, clicking on Harry’s name.

_Louis: made it to the hotel_ 🙂 _you at the doctor yet?_

Niall pulls his pants back up, instantly washing his hands. “What are you thinking?” He asks, watching as Louis keeps his eyes on his phone. Louis lowers the phone, resting it on his stomach.

“I think… Harry’s just confused. I’m being nice, I’m helping him out, it’s only natural that he starts thinking he has feelings for me.” Louis answers.

Niall rolls his eyes, sitting on the edge of his own bed. They only have 30 minutes before practice, thanks to Niall’s insistence on having the Uber stop at the nearest candy shop in Lancashire. How does a grown man spend 30 minutes in a candy shop?

“Seriously, Lou? You don’t think he might actually be interested in you?” Niall asks, watching as Louis sits up, a scowl on his face.

“Come on, we’ve been friends for 19 years. Don’t you think he would’ve told me by now if he liked me?”

“You haven’t told him you like him. It goes both ways, you know.” Niall fires back, causing Louis to sigh. He knows Niall is right, but he finds it hard to believe that Harry would be able to hide something like that from him. Louis has always been a secretive person, he has no problem hiding things from people. It’s the only way he got any privacy growing up with 6 siblings. Harry’s hormones are going crazy right now, that’s the only explanation as to why Harry did what he did.

Louis’s attention is immediately brought to his phone when he feels it vibrating on his lap. He picks it up and checks it, instantly smiling. Harry’s sent a picture of him in the mirror, the phone covering his whole face, except for his hair in a scrunchie on the top of his head.

_H: might be a little late_ 😬

Louis laughs and quickly responds, feeling cheeky.

_Louis: i always knew you needed me around to function properly_ 😉

Harry looks at his phone, breathing out a quick laugh. He was almost ready to go until he got sick on himself. He was in the car, ready to pull out, when a wave of nausea overtook him, too quickly for him to get out of the car. So, Harry had to get a shower (shoutout to the bits of throw-up that landed on his arms), get re-dressed, and clean out his car. Luckily, it only set him back about 20 minutes. He’ll have to talk to his doctor about how to help morning sickness. He thought he was over it, but apparently not.

Harry knows if Louis had been here, they would’ve been at least 10 minutes early. Louis is obsessed with getting places early, which Harry’s never understood. He’s always at least 15 minutes late because of a panic attack. The only things Harry’s ever been early/on time for are breakfast dates with Louis and movie nights with Louis. Harry fixes his hair, feeling it drip on the shoulders. He grabs his keys and walks to the car, as fast as his legs will let him. When he reaches the car, he carefully sits down, searching for any sign of nausea. When he doesn’t see any, he lets himself relax long enough to text Louis back. He knows Louis is only joking with him about needing him to get places on time, but Harry seriously does need Louis. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him, especially since he got pregnant.

Harry lets out a deep breath, moving his thumbs to text Louis back.

_H: i do._


	29. Chapter 29: O me miserum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Criminal to Love/ Ellen Krauss
> 
> \- Since We're Alone/ Niall Horan

Chapter 29: O me miserum

September 17

“Alright, boys. Take the night to relax before the flight home tomorrow.” The coach says, disappointment written all over his face. After two tough losses this week, everyone on the team is disappointed. Nobody’s sure what’s going on. They’re playing the same teams they beat last season, but now they’re losing to them. Louis already knows the next practice is going to be absolute hell, he’s dreading it. They don’t practice again until Monday, so that gives Louis three days to prepare for it.

The coach motions Niall and Louis over, the frown still on his face. Niall and Louis stand together, looking like two children preparing to be scolded by their parents. Louis already feels like this is his fault, he’s the captain of the team. He’s responsible for hyping everyone up and making sure everyone is at the top of their game, but he hasn’t been able to focus on anything other than Harry. They’ve phoned each other every night since Monday, but Louis is still worried.

Everything was good at the last ultrasound, according to Harry. Harry said his mum and Gemma were really supportive, which made Louis happy. He knew they would be! Louis can’t even be too upset about the losses, because, at the end of the day, he still gets to see Harry.

The coach clears his throat, darting his eyes between the two boys. “You boys up for an interview soon?” He asks.

Louis looks over at Niall, who’s looking at Louis. They don’t do many interviews, especially not one together, so Louis knows something bad is going on. Louis only does interviews when the team is trying to promote their matches or win over a certain player. Niall and Louis only do interviews together when something bad is happening, like that time one of their ex-players was caught saying a racial slur on video. Basically, they’re only asked to do an interview together for damage control.

Louis looks back at the coach, his eyes full of worry. “What’s going on, Coach?”

The coach sighs, running his sweaty hand over his bald head. The rest of the players have already gone to the locker room, changing into their day clothes. Everyone is beaten down and ready to get home, Louis can’t blame them for getting out of there as soon as possible. “We’ve had some backlash recently about our losses. People are speculating that our best days are over.” He starts, quickly looking over at Louis with an apologetic frown.

“More specifically, that your best days are over.”

Louis feels his stomach drop to his ass, knocking the breath out of him. People are saying his best days are over? Most soccer players don’t retire until they’re 35, Louis has 10 more years to go! His best days are certainly not over. He’s just distracted, that’s all.

Niall frowns, scoffing. “Yeah, right! His best days are just getting started. That’s right, isn’t it, Tommo?” Niall says, throwing an arm around Louis’s shoulder. Louis stares straight ahead as he feels Niall’s body clash with his.

This can’t be happening. If enough people speculate, eventually the team will let him go. If people truly believe Louis’s best days are over, they’ll stop watching and supporting him. He won’t bring enough money/exposure to the team. This can’t happen. Louis has to do something, he can’t watch his career go to waste!

Louis directs his attention to the coach, who’s still giving him a pitying look. “When’s the interview?” Louis asks.

“Sunday.”

That gives Louis less time to relax with Harry, but maybe that’s what he needs. Maybe he needs to practice harder, longer, better. He needs to stop being distracted by ultrasounds, babies, bellies, and whether or not Harry can survive on his own. Louis turns to Niall, watching as his smile fades.

“Are you in?” He asks. Niall pulls his arm from Louis’s shoulder, crossing them both over his chest. He gives Louis a quick nod, the sweat still actively dripping down his forehead. “You know I am.”

Louis turns back to the coach, straightening his posture. He knows this interview will be tough, the interviewer will probably ask very uncomfortable questions. He’s glad Niall agreed to go with him, he really didn’t want to go through this alone. The coach gives Louis a pathetic smile, writing something down on his clipboard. “I’ll send you the details tomorrow when we land.”

Louis and Niall make their way to the locker room, grabbing their bags. They walk out of the stadium together, quickly finding a driver to take them back to the hotel. They’ll leave early in the morning, landing in Doncaster around 7 am. The ride to the hotel is silent, neither of them sure what to say. When the driver parks in front of the hotel, Louis and Niall try to avoid the paparazzi, but it’s nearly impossible.

As soon as they step out, the cameras are focused on them. “Louis! How are you feeling after the game today?” One person shouts. Louis grits his teeth, shaking his head. Sometimes he just wishes he could work a normal job, where nobody asks him how he feels after a total failure. Niall helps Louis push through the crowd, muttering under his breath.

“Louis, can you offer any explanation as to why you’re no longer at the top of your game?” Another one shouts. Before Louis can tell himself to ignore him, he hears a faint voice in the crowd.

“I can, he’s taking too many dicks up the ass.”

Louis immediately stops in his tracks, his eyes wide and his cheeks red. Beside him, he watches as Niall drops his bag on the ground, his eyes scanning the crowd. “Which one of you fuckers said that?” Niall asks, his voice ringing over the crowd. Louis copies his movements, investigating to see where the sound came from. This is exactly why he isn’t open about his sexuality. He knows the whole team would get backlash from it, so he told himself he’d keep his private life private.

None of the reporters speak up, angering Niall even further. “Come on! You were brave enough to say it, be brave and show me your fucking face!” He shouts, causing Louis to shake his head. He really appreciates Niall standing up for him, but this is the last thing they need. They’re already having to do enough damage control, they don’t need anything else happening. Louis leans down and picks Niall’s bag off the ground, throwing it over his shoulder. Louis is sweaty and tired, he just wants to go home.

“Niall, just forget about it. They’re obviously dumb if they can’t tell I’m the one that does the fucking.” He mutters, pushing Niall toward the door. Niall reluctantly enters the hotel, the sound of the cameras shuttering and the paparazzi shouting immediately stopping once the doors close behind them. Louis and Niall walk into the elevator, both shaking their heads.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea you had to put up with stuff like that,” Niall says, his voice quiet. They’ve been friends for a while, but Niall’s never seen anything like that. Anytime Louis has faced criticism for his sexuality, he keeps it to himself. He doesn’t want to be made out to be a victim, he can handle it. Louis hands Niall his bag, chuckling softly.

“’S alright, mate. Was worried about you more than me.” Louis jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Niall smiles softly, his eyes on the elevator floor. Louis’s stomach growls in the silence, forcing him to realize he’s not eaten anything in several hours. After what just happened, Louis’s sure they’ll just order room service to avoid anything like that happening again tonight. When the elevator reaches their floor, both boys carry their bags to the room.

Louis is the first to enter, immediately throwing his bag on the floor next to his bed. As soon as his bag hits the floor, his phone vibrates in his pocket. Louis pulls it out, walking to the bathroom. He answers FaceTime, shutting the door behind him. He props the phone up against the bathroom mirror, so his hands are free.

The screen fills with Harry’s smiling face, cheering Louis up just a bit. “Hiiiiiii!” Harry says, his voice light and airy. He’s been waiting all day for this phone call, he’s so excited Louis will be home soon. He’s been bored here by himself, despite their nightly phone calls. Harry is sitting at his desk, editing some pictures that he took during a maternity shoot yesterday.

Louis pulls his shirt over his head, almost gagging when he smells his jersey. He’s glad he was able to get in the shower before Niall, Niall always takes forever. He throws the jersey on the floor, suddenly thankful the phone cuts off below his waist. “Hi,” Louis says, hooking his thumbs in the waistband of his shirts. He quickly slides the shorts off his legs, stepping out of them.

“How was the game?” Harry asks, his eyes on the computer in front of him. He has his phone propped against his screen so he can still use his hands to edit the pictures. Louis frowns, pulling his briefs off.

“You didn’t watch it?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow. Harry normally watches the matches when he’s not able to come with Louis. Louis turns the shower water on, feeling the water get hot as he waits.

“No, I was on the phone with mum the whole time. She and Gemma tried a new place for lunch today, they had to tell me all about it.” Harry mutters, adjusting the light on one of the pictures. He’s not one to brag, but these pictures are amazing. Harry can’t wait for his belly to be big like this, he’s so excited.

At his last appointment, everything looked great. The doctor was really impressed by how smoothly everything is going, considering it’s a male pregnancy. The doctor still wants Harry to keep a close eye on any abnormal discharge, random pains in his lower back, and any bleeding, but overall, he didn’t seem concerned.

Harry’s eyes flicker to his phone where he sees Louis step into the shower. The sight causes Harry’s cheeks to heat up, forcing him to look back at his computer screen. He quietly clears his throat, hoping Louis didn’t catch him staring.

“I told you they’d be happy for you,” Louis says, closing his eyes as the water rolls down his face. The warm water is already soothing his sore muscles, it’s just what he needed after today. Harry’s cheeks continue to heat up, despite not looking at Louis anymore. He feels bad about lying to Louis, but he doesn’t want Louis to worry about him having to go to appointments by himself. He just wants Louis to focus on his career. It isn’t his place to worry and stress about Harry or the pregnancy.

“Right,” Harry mumbles, continuing to edit the photos. Harry thinks he might submit these into a contest. He’s really proud of them, he wants his business to grow.

Louis squirts the shampoo in his hands, bringing them up to his head. He massages the soap in his hair, inhaling the scent. He’s glad Harry called him, he needed his best friend after the day he had.

“Oh, I have more scans if you want me to bring some when I come over tomorrow. You can actually see the baby now, it doesn’t look like a blob anymore. I was thinking maybe we could go shopping for some things this weekend while you’re here. If not, that’s alright, I can go alone. I just thought-“

Louis takes a deep breath, listening as Harry rambles on. Louis isn’t going to have time to go shopping with Harry, he has to prepare for the interview. He has to get his information together, he has to be prepared for whatever the interviewer might throw at him. This is exactly what Louis doesn’t need. He doesn’t need one more thing on his plate.

“I know it’s too soon to tell, but I really feel like it’s a girl. It’s not too early to get ballet slippers for her, is it?”

Louis rinses his hair out, rolling his eyes. Ballet? Harry wants his daughter to do ballet? Louis can’t say he’s surprised, Harry is constantly dancing around the house and twirling. Plus, he’s obsessed with pink and glitter, so it’s a perfect win for him if his child does ballet.

But it’s definitely too early to get ballet slippers. If anything, Louis is going to get the baby a pair of cleats. They’ll grow into them eventually. If it’s a girl, Louis will have to make sure she knows she can do everything a guy can do and not to let them discourage her from playing football. If it’s a boy, Louis will have to make sure Harry doesn’t have a heart attack anytime he falls and scrapes his knee during a match. Harry will just have to deal with the fact that scrapes and bruises are a part of sports. Louis laughs to himself, picturing him and Harry arguing about whether or not the child should play football or be involved with ballet.

Why not both?

Louis catches himself smiling, immediately wiping it off his face. He shouldn’t be thinking about this. This isn’t his child. He doesn’t have any say over what they do or don’t do. He can’t spend time thinking about this, he has to get his head in the game instead of letting it wander around aimlessly anytime the baby is mentioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have one more update today, one (maybe two) tomorrow, and then I won't have another update until Monday! I'm trying to update a lot before this weekend since I'll be gone. Thank you for reading this fic! Dm me (my twitter is: only_theangel/Comment here if you have a question or if you just want to tell me what you think! I really love reading comments and hearing what you think, it means a lot to me and gives me inspiration to write!


	30. Chapter 30: Consolatione

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Intro/ Khalid
> 
> \- Ocean Eyes/ Billie Eilish

Chapter 30: Consolatione

September 18

As soon as Louis opens his door, he’s greeted by the smell of his vanilla candle, the brightness of his yellow pillows on his couch, the smell of bacon, and…

Harry?

Louis tilts his head to the side, furrowing his eyebrows. What is Harry doing here? He wasn’t supposed to come over until tomorrow, so Louis could get settled in and relax from the weekend. Louis knows he has to start focusing on football more, he’s not off to a great start so far. Without turning around, Harry glances over his shoulder, smiling.

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m here, I just know you haven’t eaten a proper meal since you left,” Harry says, turning back to flip the bacon. Louis places his bag on the floor, a small smile forming on his face. He makes his way to the kitchen island, seeing a picture there. When he picks it up to examine it, he sees that it’s another scan of the ultrasound. He runs his thumb over the picture, his smile fading. Last night, he promised himself that he wouldn’t allow himself to become too attached to the kid. It’s not his baby, it’ll only hurt worse when Harry finds someone else and moves away with the kid. It’s what everyone does, it’s what Liam and Zayn did. Louis allowed himself to get attached to them and now he only sees them on special occasions.

Plus, Louis has decided if he wants to continue his career, he has to stop worrying about everything around him. He’s going to spend most (if not all) of his free time working out, practicing, and eating healthier. It’s the only way he can keep being successful. He refuses to let people say his best days are over.

He puts the picture down, standing next to Harry. Harry quickly puts the bacon on the plate, along with the eggs and sausage. Louis’s stomach rumbles at the sight of it, but he can’t have it. If he’s serious about eating healthier, it has to start now. Louis smiles apologetically, gesturing toward the plate. “I can’t eat this.”

Harry laughs and shakes his head, walking to the fridge to get Louis something to drink. “Now, I know it’s nothing compared to the fancy breakfasts you’re used to having, but it’s the best I could do.”

Louis scratches the back of his head, staring at the plate. It looks so good, Harry really did do a good job.

No. Louis can’t do this.

“No, I’m starting a diet,” Louis answers, pushing the plate toward Harry, who’s standing at the kitchen island, holding a glass of orange juice. Harry frowns, sitting on the stool. “Why?” Harry asks, picking at the plate. He’s disappointed that Louis isn’t going to eat what he made, he woke up at 6 to get ready, go to the store and get everything he needed, and come over here to make it.

“I need to get back in shape,” Louis mutters, walking to the fridge to grab a single egg. For breakfast, he’ll only have a hardboiled egg. Louis hates being on diets, but he needs to be more disciplined. Harry rolls his eyes, taking it upon himself to eat what he made. It’s too good to go to waste, plus the baby wanted it. Or Harry wanted it. Either way.

“You are in shape, Lou.” He mutters, watching as Louis boils a pot of water. Once the water starts boiling, Louis carefully places the egg in the pot. Louis doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want Harry to know that people are criticizing him. He wants Harry to be proud of him and he can’t be proud of him if he knows people are disappointed in him.

Louis covers the pot of water, turning his back to it. He sees Harry eating the breakfast, causing him to smile. Harry can eat whatever he wants and he never gains any weight. Well, that was before the baby. Now, Louis can see that Harry’s belly has gotten bigger even since he last saw him Sunday. Louis’s eyes drop to Harry’s pants, seeing that they’re unbuttoned. Louis laughs at that, throwing his head back.

“You think you need to go shopping for some bigger pants?” He teases, watching as Harry rolls his eyes again. He isn’t trying to be mean, he thinks it’s actually cute that Harry’s belly is getting bigger.

“Yeah, yeah. That’s why we need to go shopping today.” Harry says, watching as Louis turns back around to get his egg out of the boiling water. Harry watches as Louis peels the egg, a scowl on his face. Harry knows he doesn’t want to eat that, he wishes he knew why he’s on the diet. Louis carefully bites into the egg, holding it over the sink in case he drops any of it. “I don’t know, H, I really need to work out.”

“You just worked out for a week straight! Take a break, I really don’t want to go alone.” Harry pleads.

“What about Anne or Gem?” Louis says, quickly finishing his egg. He grabs the cup of orange juice that Harry was drinking, downing it in one sip.

Harry blushes, suddenly remembering that Louis thinks he’s told his family. Harry clears his throat, pushing the plate of food away from him. He smooths his hands over his jeans, exhaling a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “They’re busy today. I really need to go today, almost all of the shops are having a sale.” Harry says.

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair. He really should stay home and unpack, or at least work out for a little bit, but he doesn’t want to make Harry go alone. He knows how Harry gets when he shops, he gets excited and will buy everything in the store if no one stops him. It won’t take long, Louis will have plenty of time to unpack and workout when he gets back.

_

So, Louis underestimated how long it would take for Harry to shop for pants.

They’ve been shopping for two hours and Harry hasn’t bought a single thing except an adorable onesie he saw at the first shop. Everything is either too expensive, too cheap, too plain, too bizarre, or they look like something a total mum would wear. Louis thought it would be a good idea to remind Harry that he is a mum, but it was not a good idea. Louis ended up getting pinched in the side.

“H, come on! It’s not like you go anywhere but my house and the doctor, who cares what pants you’re wearing? I promise the doctors don’t care, I don’t either. Just pick something, for god’s sake!” Louis groans, throwing his head back. They’re in another random store, one Louis’s never even heard of. Harry stares at Louis while his fingers linger on a pair of pants, narrowing his eyes at him.

“I go other places, Louis.”

Louis raises his eyebrow, crossing his arms. “Oh, yeah? Like where?”

Harry rolls his eyes, directing his attention back to the pants. He quickly checks the size, before holding them up against his waist. “Like… I meet with clients! Yeah, that’s where I go. I’m a professional, I have to look like one.”

Louis stares at the pants, resisting the urge to laugh. The pants are absolutely hideous, but he’s not going to tell Harry that. At this point, Louis would let Harry buy whatever he wanted if it meant Louis could go home and lay down. Harry frowns, putting the pants back down. He starts walking toward the exit, getting almost out the door before he realizes Louis isn’t following him. Harry turns around, watching as Louis keeps his arms crossed.

“Not going. I physically can’t go to another store.” Louis whines, sticking his bottom lip out. Harry laughs, walking back over to Louis. Louis just looks so cute when he’s tired and grumpy. Harry knows he wants to go home, but Harry is really enjoying shopping with Louis. It’s only 10 am, Harry will make sure Louis rests for the rest of the weekend. Harry reaches his hand out to grab Louis’s, tugging him toward the door. Louis reluctantly follows, blushing as Harry’s hand wraps around his.

This is the closest they’ve been since Harry kissed Louis. Surprisingly, it isn’t awkward. It’s actually quite nice. Harry doesn’t let go of Louis’s hand when they exit the store. Instead, he leaves it dangling between them. Louis feels his cheeks heat up even more, causing him to pull his hand away. He can’t be holding hands with Harry! They’re just friends.

Harry ignores the action, tugging on Louis’s shirt to steer him in the direction of the nearest Starbucks. “Do you want anything? I’m using your card so you might as welllll.” Harry sings out, holding up Louis’s card.

Louis’s glad Harry’s starting to accept his financial help, he was worried Harry would be too prideful. Louis really meant it when he told Harry he could use it for anything. “No, I’m alright.”

He glances at his phone, seeing a text the coach sent to Niall and Louis.

_Coach Moore: Interview is with Alan Carr. Be at his studio Sunday morning @ 11. Good luck boys_

Louis groans under his breath, sending back a quick thumbs-up. He hates Alan Carr. He always asks the most intrusive questions, only getting away with it because he disguises them as jokes. He knows he’s going to have a tough time dealing with his questions, but at least Niall will be with him. Harry walks back out of the Starbucks, sipping on his drink. Louis thought about scolding Harry for drinking coffee while pregnant, but then he remembered that it’s not his child, so he isn’t going to allow himself to stress about it anymore.

In the distance, Louis swears he can hear the shuttering of a camera. Louis quickly looks around, searching for any sign of paps or fans. He doesn’t mind fending them off when he’s alone, but he doesn’t want them to bother Harry. Harry still hasn’t made it to the 3-month mark yet, meaning he’s still at a high risk of having a miscarriage. He doesn’t want Harry to stress out about paparazzi, stress will increase the risk of a miscarriage. When Louis doesn’t see anything, he directs his attention back to Harry.

“I’ll buy you a million pairs of pants if you just agree to let us go home,” Louis says, his tone serious and certain. Harry laughs, shooting Louis his famous smile.

“Alright, alright. I’ll just order some online. I’ve been looking online anyway.” He says, causing Louis’s eyes to widen.

“You tell me this after 2 hours of shopping? Why didn’t you just shop online to begin with?” Louis asks, watching as Harry walks in the direction of his car. Harry always does this. He drags Louis on crazy adventures, only to change his mind halfway through. Normally, Louis doesn’t mind, but he’s so tired from the last week.

Harry laughs again, opening his car door. “Just like going places with you, s’all.”

-

Louis twists the ultrasound scan between his fingers, glancing over at Harry, who’s currently asleep on the couch. After eating a healthy lunch, the pair decided to continue their movie night, with Harry falling asleep halfway through the first movie. Louis went upstairs and got a blanket to cover Harry with, when he saw the ultrasound scan from the first appointment on his nightstand. He knows Harry put it there, but why?

Does he want Louis to get attached to the baby? Does he want Louis to have a say in how he raises the child?Does he want Louis to take over the role of the father? Louis knows it’s hard on Harry to be a single parent, but he can’t just expect Louis to drop everything for a child that isn’t even his.

Maybe Louis is overthinking it, but part of him thinks he isn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last update for today! I'll have one, maybe two up tomorrow!
> 
> You're definitely not going to want to miss this next one, it gets pretty angsty for a while from here. Sorry in advance lmao


	31. Chapter 31: Nescio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Treacherous/ Taylor Swift 
> 
> \- The Weight of Us/ Sanders Bohlke

Chapter 31: Nescio

September 19

Louis wakes up to an elbow being jabbed into his side, causing him to grunt and reach to his side. Louis opens one eye, immediately regretting it as the bright lights shining through his windows pierce his sensitive eye. He looks over to his side, seeing Harry curled up next to him.

Harry’s curls have flopped over his face, so Louis isn’t sure if he’s awake or not. He just knows Harry’s head is on his chest, the blanket is pulled up to his chin, and his belly is snug against Louis’s side. Louis rubs his hands over his face, groaning under his breath as he realizes Harry slept over again.

Normally, Louis wouldn’t mind. He’d encourage it, actually. But how is Louis supposed to focus on his career when Harry is tucked under his arm, snoring like a fat kitten, and smelling like a candle factory?

Harry shifts against Louis’s body, suddenly waking himself up. He lifts his head off Louis’s chest, immediately looking around the room. He doesn’t even remember coming to bed. He wonders if Louis carried him to bed.

When Harry’s sleepy eyes meet Louis’s grumpy ones, a smile forms on his lips. He leans against the pillows, resting his arms on his belly. His belly is always more bloated and swollen when he first wakes up, even more so after he eats. “‘M sorry, didn’t mean to take up the whole bed.” Harry giggles, watching as Louis gives him a tight-lipped smile.

“It’s alright,” He mutters, scooting away from Harry. Harry doesn’t notice, he just leans his head against the back of the bed, whimpering as pain shoots through his lower back. Harry hasn’t gained much weight, only maybe 5 pounds, but the new pulling and stretching of his skin are taking a toll on his body. Harry glances over at Louis, watching how his chest heaves with every exhale. Harry’s never noticed how beautiful Louis looks when he first wakes up. The front of his hair is pinned to his forehead while the back of his hair is sticking up and waving around. He’s got sheet marks on his face, but he still looks beautiful to Harry.

Lately, Harry’s been thinking about what would’ve happened if he would’ve been honest with Louis a year ago, when he realized he had a slight crush on him. Would Louis have said he felt the same way? Would they have started dating? Harry likes to think he never would’ve gone out with Luke, he certainly wouldn’t be pregnant right now. But as much as Harry hates that Luke is the father of his child, he still loves his child and doesn’t regret having them. Harry can’t stand asking himself what-ifs. If he would’ve been honest, there’s no telling how different his life would be now.

“What are you thinking about?” Louis asks, his voice still soft. He climbs out of bed, dressed in his grey sweatpants. He saunters over to his ensuite, his mind set on brushing his teeth. Harry’s thankful for that because he doesn’t want to confess his love to a man who hasn’t even brushed his teeth yet. Harry likes to think one day he might tell his child about the morning he told Louis he was falling for him, the confession filled with toothpaste and giggles.

Harry takes a deep breath, shrinking into the bed. He can’t believe he’s going to actually have this conversation with Louis. “You know how when you become friends with someone, and you’ve been friends for a long time, you really love them?” Harry starts, his voice shakier than he ever thought it would be.

Louis halts the movements in his mouth, holding the toothbrush against his right cheek, his eyebrows furrowing. He has absolutely no idea where Harry’s going with this and he isn’t sure he wants to know. “Yeah…?” Louis says, dragging the toothbrush against the top row of his teeth. The toothpaste is foaming up in his mouth, reaching to the back of his throat.

Harry keeps his eyes on the wall in front of him, too nervous to look at Louis. What does he say now? He loves Louis, but he doesn’t know what it means. Everyone loves their friends. Does Harry love Louis because they’ve grown up together and Louis’s the only one that’s really cared for him? Harry doesn’t think that’s true, or else he’d feel the same way about Liam and Zayn. Neither one of them has caused Harry to blush and giggle or dream about what it would be like to kiss them.

Harry pushes his hair off of his forehead, his hands stuttering with every move. “How do you know the difference between friend love and soulmate love?”

The question causes Louis to hold his breath, pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth, his eyes wide. The question sounds eerily familiar. It sounds like something Louis has asked himself on several occasions.

This can’t be where this is going. Harry can’t confess his love right now. Maybe Louis is just overthinking it. Louis clears his throat, leaning over the sink and spitting the toothpaste out. “Erm, I don’t know.” Louis lies, his voice almost too quiet to hear. He wipes his mouth off, walking over to the door of the bathroom. He stands in the frame, leaning against it. He suddenly feels very naked in the presence of Harry, even if his eyes aren’t on him.

“Have you thought about kissing them?” Louis asks.

Harry’s eyes drop to his lap, where he’s fumbling with his hands. He really should paint his nails again, the yellow polish is already chipping off. “I have.”

“You’ve thought about it or you’ve kissed them?”

This time, Harry breaks eye contact, his eyes burning a hole through Louis’s bare chest. He's reminded of a week ago, when he built up enough courage to lean forward and press his lips against Louis's. “I’ve kissed them.” He whispers, suddenly feeling as if he can’t breathe.

In this moment, Harry realizes he’s in love with Louis. This is what Harry wants to wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. He wants to stay warm in bed while Louis gets ready for practice, watching and studying his every move. He wants to spend his nights curled up on the couch with Louis, mumbling sleepily about a scene in the movie. Harry wants to dance around in the kitchen with Louis, even when his big pregnant belly won’t allow them to get close.

Harry sucks in a sharp breath, immediately regretting waiting so long to tell Louis how he feels. Louis has to feel the same way, right? You can’t be friends with someone for 19 years and never think about what it would be like to live out a life with them, right?

Louis reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, suddenly wishing he was anywhere but here. Harry has always managed to have the shittiest timing of anyone Louis’s ever known.

Like that time when Louis was getting ready for a big game in secondary school. Coaches from Louis’s dream university were going to be there, deciding if he was going to get a scholarship. Harry happened to come down with a rare case of the Scarlet Fever, having to be admitted to the hospital because his body didn’t respond to antibiotics. The Scarlet Fever? In the 21st century? Regardless, Louis dropped his game, immediately making his way to the hospital where he spent the next week with Harry.

Now, here they are 9 years later, and Harry is practically confessing his love for Louis right after Louis’s decided he has to start focusing on his career. Not to mention that Harry is pregnant with another man’s baby.

Great timing, Harry. As always.

Louis clears his throat, forcing a smile. “Come on, tell me you haven’t fallen for Liam or summat?” Louis jokes, his voice impossibly quiet.

Harry pulls on the fabric of his shirt, suddenly wishing Louis would’ve given him something to sleep in last night. This shirt is tight and uncomfortable, even more so now that he’s confessing his love. “No, Louis, I haven’t kissed Liam.”

Harry’s never seen Louis this uncomfortable. If Louis isn’t scratching the back of his neck, he’s picking at his nails or scratching his arm. It’s like he can’t stand still. Harry can’t take the joking and teasing anymore, he has to get it out. If Louis doesn’t feel the same way, he just wants to get it over with.

“Louis, I-“

“Stop,” Louis says, pushing himself off of the doorframe. He can’t bear to listen to Harry say this. It’s something Louis hoped he’d hear Harry say one day, but not today. He can’t do this, not now. He has too much going on, he can’t be in a committed relationship with his pregnant best friend. Louis knows if Harry finishes that sentence, he’ll never be able to focus on football again. He’ll devote all of his time, all of his money, everything to Harry.

And the baby.

Oh, god, the baby.

Louis can’t be a father. Not right now, not ever.

Harry immediately closes his mouth, tears forming in his sad eyes. Why is Louis cutting him off? Does he know what he’s going to say? Doesn’t he want to hear what Harry has to say?

“Whatever you think you’re feeling, you’re not. You’re pregnant, Harry. Your hormones are crazy right now. You’re thinking things you wouldn’t normally think.” Louis explains, trying to convince himself that it’s the truth. If Louis can make himself believe that, it’ll make it easier to forget about this.

Harry furrows his eyebrows, watching as Louis walks out of the bedroom. Harry gets out of bed, following him out. Louis walks down the stairs, shaking his head. He can’t believe this is happening the day before his big interview. How is he ever going to focus on prepping?

“That’s not true. Yes, my hormones are crazy right now, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you.” Harry argues, following Louis down the stairs. Louis enters the kitchen, making his way to the fridge for another day of his pathetic breakfast.

“Don’t say that, Harry. You’re feeling this way because I’m helping you out. I’m giving you money, I’m letting you stay with me on the weekends, I help you with a lot of things, Harry. You’re mistaking gratitude for love.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, crossing his arms over his chest. Did Louis just insinuate that Harry is using him for his money? That’s definitely not the case. Harry is grateful for everything Louis is doing, but it has nothing to do with how Harry is feeling. To prove it, Harry won’t use Louis’s help anymore. Harry’s business has been taking off lately, he can make it on his own.

“That’s bullshit and you know it! Why won’t you just let me love you?” Harry asks, listening as his voice cracks. He doesn’t understand why Louis is making up so many excuses for why Harry is feeling this way. Harry can tell him exactly why he’s feeling this way. He loves Louis because he’s kind, he’s talented, he’s funny, he’s passionate, he’s so, so nurturing, even if he doesn’t see it. Harry loves Louis because of the way his eyes crinkle in the corners when he smiles, he loves the way his eyes practically glisten when he talks about football, he loves him because of the way his sweaters are all too big on him, causing him to have the sweater paws that Harry loves so much.

Louis shakes his head, carrying his egg to the stove. He fills a pot with water, placing it on top. “Harry, I have shit going on that you don’t even know about. I can’t deal with this right now, alright? I can’t… I can’t love you right now. I’m not ready. I have things I have to focus on before I focus on you and the baby.” He explains.

The words taste bitter in his mouth, but it’s what he has to say.

“I mean, why do you think we’ve lost 2 out of 3 games so far? Because the captain can’t focus on anything other than ultrasounds and onesies.” Louis says, chuckling dryly. He places the egg in the water, just as he did yesterday morning.

“You’re saying I’m the reason you’re losing games?” Harry asks, bringing his hand to his face, wiping away the tears that are falling down. He refuses to cry right now, he won’t cry in front of Louis. He won’t let Louis know how bad he wants this. Before Louis can respond, Harry continues.

“Fine. If you can’t focus because of me and the baby, you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I won’t bother you with appointments, pictures, updates, or even fucking onesies!” Harry says, struggling to keep his voice calm. He doesn't want to raise his voice, he’s been trying to get better about it. He doesn’t want his child to be raised around yelling and fighting, so he’s trying to get out of the habit before it’s born.

Louis frowns, turning around to tell Harry that he didn’t mean it like that, he just meant that he can’t bear the responsibility of leading a team and leading a relationship. When Louis turns around, he sees Harry grabbing his keys. Before he can say anything, Harry is out the door, slamming it behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ow, this hurt.
> 
> It's going to be pretty angsty for a while, but I promise it will get better!
> 
> I have one more update today, then I'll see you guys Monday!


	32. Chapter 32: Importunus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- I have questions/ Camila Cabello 
> 
> \- Did you ever hurt for me/ Jess Benko

Chapter 32: Importunus

September 20

Louis looks down at his phone for the millionth time, shaking his head when he realizes Harry hasn’t texted him back. Louis’s been texting and calling ever since Harry stormed out yesterday. Louis thought about going by his apartment, but he knows Harry likes to be alone when he’s angry.

Louis’s fine with that, as long as Harry comes back.

Niall nudges Louis’s arm, nodding to his phone. “Hey, what’s going on?” He asks, his voice quiet. The live audience is in the crowd, waiting for the show to start. Alan Carr isn’t on stage yet, just Niall and Louis. The lights are dark, so no one can see the two. Louis wonders if Harry is watching at home. At first, Louis thought it was a bad idea for this interview to be a live one, but now he hopes it means Harry is watching while tucked under a blanket.

Louis shakes his head, lifting up off the cushion and shoving his phone in his back pocket. He bounces his leg once he’s fully sitting on the couch, still shaking his head. “Me and Harry got into it bad yesterday.” He mumbles, watching as Alan walks on stage. The lights go up, the crowd stands to their feet and claps, all shouting for Alan. Louis and Niall stand, both putting on their fake smiles and extending their hands.

Neither one of them want to be here, but they have to, for the team. Alan greets them quickly, pressing a kiss to each of their cheeks, before sitting down on his chair. “Hello, hello, boys!” Alan says, his grin almost too big for his face. Niall and Louis sit back down, leaning against the back of the couch.

“First off, thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to come chat with me today,” Alan says, prompting Louis and Niall to both nod.

“Of course, we love coming on the show.” Niall lies. They’ve met with Alan several times, each time worse than the last. Louis thinks Alan is sneaky, he doesn’t care for him at all.

“Although, I don’t know how busy your schedules are. Doesn’t look like they’re packed with going to practice.” Alan teases, grimacing. Louis slowly exhales under his breath, keeping his leg bouncing up and down. What does Alan know about sports? He has no idea how much the team actually practices.

Niall quickly taps Louis’s knee, signaling him to stop bouncing his leg. Louis glances over at Niall, who’s doing a great job of faking a laugh. Normally, Louis’s the one that takes the leads in interviews, but here he goes again, being distracted by Harry. He hopes Harry isn’t too mad at him, Louis hadn’t meant for things to come out that way. He wants Harry to know that he can’t focus on a relationship right now, that’s all. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be updated on how his pregnancy is going. It just means Louis can’t fill all of the roles Harry wants him to fill.

“We’re definitely practicing, 5 days a week, 8 hours each,” Niall says, giving Alan his cheeky smile.

Alan raises an eyebrow. “So, like a full-time job? 40 hours a week?” He asks.

“That’s right.” Louis chimes in, nodding his head. He’s got to focus on the interview, he’s got to make sure he shows everyone that his best days are only beginning.

Alan clears his throat, pushing his glasses up on his nose. He folds his hands in his lap, turning to face Louis. “And you’re acting as manager, correct?”

“Somewhat. If you want to compare a team captain to a manager, I guess it works.” Louis says. He fights the urge to bounce his leg again, instead, focusing his attention on picking the fabric underneath him.

“Right. And if the manager of a company is failing, it would cause the company to fail, correct?” Alan asks, his cheeky grin appearing again. Louis bites the inside of his cheek, darting his eyes over to Niall. Louis isn’t sure why he’s so affected by this insinuation, he knew Alan would get around to this. He was fully expecting it, but he wasn’t prepared for how it would make him feel. Louis’s only 25, what if his best days are really over? What if people are right?

When he first started, he was 23 and full of life. His mum was going through a divorce, Louis was getting used to training 40 hours a week, he was constantly stressed about family issues. Still, he never let it interfere with the games. Now, all he has to worry about is Harry, and it’s interfering with absolutely everything.

Niall butts in, narrowing his eyes at Alan. “I don’t think that’s fair. Louis’s a great captain, this has nothing to do with him. We played against very talented teams, we were off on our technique.” Niall explains, shrugging his shoulders. Louis’s thankful Niall is standing up for him, because Louis can’t do it for himself right now. He has absolutely no excuses. He knows Alan is right, that’s what bothers him. If the captain is off, the whole team is off. It’s the captain’s job to be a role model and a hype man for the team. If he isn’t focused, the whole team isn’t focused.

“I get that, but Louis, do you think your mind could be somewhere else other than on the field?” Alan asks, causing Louis to furrow his eyebrows.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question,” Louis says, forcing a chuckle.

Alan turns around in his chair, reaching for something on his desk. He holds up an enlarged photo of Harry and Louis shopping together Friday. As soon as Louis sees the picture, his whole body tenses. He knew he heard a camera that day, but this picture was from earlier on. This picture was taken way before they ever stopped at Starbucks. Had paparazzi been following the whole time?

Louis examines the photo, his eyes instantly stopping on where their bodies are connected. Harry is holding Louis’s hand, while Louis holds the bag full of baby clothes in his other hand. Niall lets out a quiet cough next to Louis, his own eyes widening. Neither one of them expected Alan to dig into their personal lives.

Alan smiles, glancing between the picture and where Louis is sitting. He points to where their hands are connected. He looks so smug, Louis just wants to wipe the grin off his stupid face. “Now, I could be wrong, but it looks like you’re distracted by a tall, gorgeous, pregnant man,” Alan says.

At that, Niall quickly turns to look at Louis.

Well, so much for waiting until Harry passed the 3-month mark to tell his friends. Now, everyone is going to know.

Louis shifts in his seat, feeling his heart rate quicken. What is he supposed to say to this? He can’t discuss this, he came on the show to discuss the team and their success, not to discuss how he’s in love with his pregnant best friend but that he can’t be with him.

So, Louis squeaks out a pathetic “And your point is?”

Alan laughs at that, placing the photo back on the desk. “My point is, are you distracted because you’ve recently found out you’re a father?” Alan asks.

Louis resists the urge to roll his eyes, clenching and unclenching his fist at his side. Why is this the topic of discussion right now? It’s nobody’s business who the father of Harry’s baby is. It’s no one’s business if Louis has a boyfriend or if he’s even gay. “I don’t think this is appropriate,” Niall suggests, his voice so quiet that only Louis and Alan can hear.

Before Louis can stop himself, he’s opening his mouth. “No, it is appropriate.” He spits out, turning to look at the crowd. He’s fuming, he has to put a stop to this. He has to put a stop to the speculation and the rumors and the criticism. Louis stares into the camera, his body as rigid and cold as his tone. “Let me set this straight. My team is the best goddamn team I’ve ever seen. If I’m off my game, which I am not, that has nothing to do with them. I’ve never been more focused. And you wanna know why that is? Because I am not a father. That ‘Tall, gorgeous pregnant man’ is nothing more to me than my best friend who got knocked up on the first date. I’m simply helping him get on his feet, that’s all. I am at the top of my game and I will be for quite a while.” Louis spits, never breaking eye contact with the camera.

Beside him, Niall leans his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Holy shit,” Niall mumbles.

Across town, Harry sits on the couch, his jaw dropped. Did Louis really just say that? On national television? In front of 1.4 million viewers?

Nothing more to Louis than his best friend that got knocked up on a first date?

Harry continues watching as he feels his bottom lip trembling. After staying up all last night, he didn’t think the situation between him and Louis could get any worse, but it just did. First, Louis rejected him and basically told him that he’s the reason Louis’s losing so many games. Now, he just announced Harry’s pregnancy on national television, equating him to nothing more than a charity case.

Not only did he announce it to the world, he just announced it to Niall, Harry’s mum, and Harry’s sister. Harry’s family supports Louis constantly, watching all of his interviews, all of his games, and going to as many games as they can. Any plan of announcing it to his family when he’s ready just flew out the window. Before Harry can be upset about it for too long, his phone is ringing. Harry’s eyes flicker to the screen, seeing Gemma’s contact photo pop up. Harry groans, reaching over to answer it.

“What the fuck is Louis talking about?”

Harry keeps his eyes on the screen, watching as Louis turns back to face Alan. Alan’s expression is a shocked one. If Louis wanted to wipe the smug grin off of his face, he succeeded.

“Um, surprise?” Harry squeaks out, keeping his eyes focused on the screen.

“Surprise? That’s all you have to say for yourself? Who did you go on a date with? How far along are you? Who’s the dad?” Gemma shoots out, her voice urgent and pressing. Harry leans back against the couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “Can I come over next weekend and explain everything?” Harry asks.

“Of course, I’ll have mum there. Unless you don’t want her there. I’m pretty sure she’s going to know, though. You know how she is about Louis’s interviews.” Gemma says, letting a chuckle out at the end. Harry smiles a little at that, nodding his head. This isn’t how he wanted to announce the pregnancy to his family, but he has no choice now.

-

“Louis, what the hell happened back there?” Niall asks, his accent thickening. His eyes are wild and his cheeks are red, telling Louis that he’s really upset. Louis doesn’t know if he’s ever seen him this upset, at least not at him. They’ve just suffered through another hour of the interview, before Alan ended it with teasing and joking about the team’s next matches. They’re in the dressing rooms now, getting dressed in their casual clothes before leaving.

Louis shakes his head, grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “I know, I fucked up once again.” He mutters, running his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t even want to think about how Harry’s feeling right now. Maybe it’s best if Louis steers clear of Harry for a while. It seems like all he ever does is mess things up, he doesn’t want to hurt Harry anymore.

Niall is silent for a while, grabbing his bag and copying Louis’s motions. He walks toward the door, leaving his hand on the handle. He looks over his shoulder at Louis, his face covered in sadness. “He didn’t get pregnant by that Luke guy, did he?” He asks, his voice soft.

Louis walks closer to him, preparing to leave. He nods slowly, chuckling dryly. “I ever tell you we found out for sure the fucker was married?” He asks, watching as Niall sighs.

“Poor Harry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back on Monday! 
> 
> Dm me @Only_theangel if you have any questions or even if you just want to talk!


	33. Chapter 33: Laesa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for this chapter// Blood and panic attack 
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Medicine/ The 1975
> 
> \- My Tears Are Becoming a Sea/ M83

Chapter 33: Laesa

October 20

_“Tomlinson!” Coach shouts, motioning for Louis to jog over to him. Louis slumps his shoulders, hanging his head down. He knows he’s going to be in trouble, he’s been waiting on it all practice. Louis keeps his head down, jogging until he’s face to face with his coach._

_“What the hell happened yesterday?” Coach asks, crossing his burly arms over his chest. Louis lifts his head to meet his, holding the ball between his arm and his side._

_“I-I’m sorry, Coach. I just wasn’t expecting them to dig into my personal life.” Louis defends, his voice wavering with every word. Coach shakes his head, rolling his lips into his mouth. He stays silent for a while before taking a deep breath._

_“You know you’ve always been my favorite player, Louis, but I can’t keep giving you second chances. I let the tardies and breaks slide, I can’t let this slide. I don’t know what’s going on, but you can’t continue to lead the team if your head isn’t here with us.”_

_Louis sucks in a sharp breath, looking toward the field. He knew this was coming, but it still hurts to hear Coach say it. Louis knows he’s doing the right thing, but he doesn’t want to see his position go to someone else. He loves being the team captain. Coach continues, “I’m sorry, but Niall is going to take over your position. Effective immediately.”_

_Louis keeps his eyes on where the team is practicing, Niall is at the forefront, dribbling the ball between his quick feet. If anyone deserves the position, it’s Niall. Niall’s got what it takes to run this team. Louis stays silent, breaking eye contact with the team and directing it toward the coach. “And Louis?” Coach Moore says, raising an eyebrow._

_“Yes, Coach?”_

_“Is there anything I need to know? I need to know if one of my players is going to take time off to raise a child.” He says._

_Louis feels the wind blow across his face, causing the hair on the back of his neck to stand up._

_“No, Coach.”_

That was a month ago, the first practice after Louis and Niall’s interview with Alan Carr. It was a hard adjustment for Louis, but eventually, he was able to see the benefit behind the change. They’ve won almost every single game since then, thanks to Niall.

“Okay, boys. We have less than 30 minutes before the game, so I need every single one of you to put your best foot forward. I’m proud of the way you’ve all been working together lately, let’s not get back into the habit of losing.” Coach Moore says, giving the team a quick nod. Niall turns to Louis, clapping him on the shoulder. “You ready?” He asks, his smile bright and wide.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Louis responds, flashing Niall a quick smile. Niall gives Louis’s shoulder one more shake before running off to the locker room. Louis sits on the bench, digging through his bag to find his lukewarm bottle of Gatorade. Before he can reach the Gatorade, his hands bump against a picture of him and Harry at their first football game together. The picture is 19 years old, but it looks like it was just taken yesterday. Louis pulls the photo out, smiling to himself as he examines it.

He hasn’t spoken to Harry in a month, not since what he said at the interview. He’s been too ashamed and Harry hasn’t reached out either. Louis’s gotten a few details from Zayn when they call once a week. Louis knows Harry isn’t using his card to pay for anything anymore, the only things on his bank statements are fast-food restaurants and beer from Niall and Louis’s weekly nights out. Zayn has told Louis that Harry’s business is finally taking off, so he doesn’t need financial help anymore.

Zayn’s also mentioned that Harry has a new love interest. His name is Richard, so Louis’s already coming up with multiple jokes a day. He’s just glad he isn’t around to hear Harry go on and on about him. Zayn mentioned other things about Richard, but Louis zoned out halfway into the conversation, so he missed a few essential details.

If Louis had been paying attention, he would’ve learned that Richard isn’t a person, he’s a cat. After Louis and Harry started ignoring each other, Harry needed a friend, so he went to the local shelter. He picked the oldest cat there, one that no one else had ever wanted. He’s turning out to be quite the companion, Harry thinks.

Richard is always at Harry’s feet, like he is now. Harry is standing at the foot of the bed, getting ready to pick his laundry basket up and carry it downstairs. Now that his business has officially taken off, Harry was able to get a bigger apartment. It’s still only two bedrooms, but it has two bathrooms, and it’s two stories. Most nights, Harry sleeps on the couch because he’s too tired to go up and down the stairs, but today, he’s feeling energetic, so he was able to conquer the stairs.

With each passing month, Harry feels like he has less and less energy. He’s coming up on his 4-month mark, meaning his belly is getting rounder every day. He isn’t sure what’s worse about this month, the heartburn or the fatigue. Richard would say the heartburn is worse, because he doesn’t mind Harry napping with him all day.

“Alright, Richy, you have to move, you’re gonna trip me,” Harry says, giggling as the cat slinks around his swollen ankles. He picks the basket up, exiting his bedroom door. He goes down the hall, tilting his head up to see past the pile of clothes. He isn’t sure how just one human and one cat can accumulate this much laundry, he can’t imagine how bad it’s going to be when the baby is born.

Harry misses the days when Louis would do Harry’s laundry for him, even when he was just a couple of weeks pregnant. Harry misses a lot of things about Louis, actually. He never thought they’d go this long without speaking, but Harry also never thought Louis would say what he said. Harry was angry for a while, but now, he’s just hurt. And lonely. Harry’s very lonely. His mum and sister have tried to get him to move back home, but Harry doesn’t want to. He wants to be a functional adult, he doesn’t want to run home.

Harry reaches the top of the stairs, carefully sticking out one foot. He feels for the top stair with his socked foot, before placing it on the stair. Harry exhales slowly. “Alright, got the first one down.” He mutters, carefully taking another step.

2 down, 11 more to go.

Richard runs down to the last couple of stairs, waiting patiently for Harry to complete his journey. Richard carefully licks his paw, bringing it up to his ear. Harry keeps his eyes on the stairs, feeling for the rest of the stairs. The basket is causing his muscles to strain, Harry hasn’t worked out in a while. Harry gets to the middle of the staircase, looking past the basket to see 5 more steps. Just before Harry takes his next step, Richard tumbles backward, falling down the staircase.

“Richard!” Harry shouts, his eyes widening. His beloved cat is old, at least 11 years old. He doesn’t need to be falling down the steps! Harry rushes to get down the stairs, desperate to check on his baby. When Harry reaches the 3 steps, his socked feet slip underneath him, sending the basket flying to the end of the stairs.

Harry tumbles forward, much like his cat. With every bump and roll, Harry grunts, shielding his stomach from the blow of the hard stairs. All Harry can think about are his two babies. Harry feels a sharp pain shooting across his stomach, across the back of his head, and up his foot, into his ankle. When Harry finally lands on the floor, he’s staring up at the ceiling, his arms holding his belly.

Richard immediately makes his way over to Harry, meowing the whole way. He sits on Harry’s chest, his head hanging over Harry’s.

“Ow.” Harry cries, biting his lip. The pain in his ankle is worse than the pain in his head or his back. Harry doesn’t want to move, he doesn’t want to hurt himself any further, but he knows he needs to go to the hospital. If not for the pain in his ankle, to check on his baby.

Not Richard, his other baby. Richard looks perfectly unharmed, he’s resuming his daily bath.

Harry reaches in his pocket, wincing as the pain gets worse in his ankle. He quickly dials 999, the tears flowing down his cheeks. What if he hurt his baby? Harry’s not felt the baby kick yet, so he can’t even use that to check on his baby. Harry wishes someone was here with him, he wishes Louis was here.

“999, what’s your emergency?” The woman asks. Harry sniffles, wiping his tears away. “I-I just fell down the stairs, I’m pregnant. I’m all alone, and I can’t move because I think I hurt my ankle.” Harry rushes out, feeling as his heart rate quickens. He knows he’s going to have a panic attack, he can already feel his head getting cloudy. His hands start sweating, so Harry rubs his free hand on his sweatpants. When he looks down, he sees a spot of blood on the crotch of his pants.

Harry’s eyes widen, choking on his breath. “A-And I’m bleeding, I have blood on my pants.” He cries out, his voice quacking with every passing second.

“Okay, sweetie, I need you to take some deep breaths. If you don’t, you’re going to pass out. I’m dispatching the ambulance right now.” The woman says. Harry nods, trying to focus on taking deep breaths, but all he can think about is his baby. If he loses this baby, Harry doesn’t know what he’ll do. This baby is all he has left, it’s the only person he has.

This only spurs Harry on further, feeling as his throat tightens. Harry starts hyperventilating, causing Richard to jump off his chest. The last thing Harry remembers is the pain in his stomach and ankle.

-

“10 minutes, Rovers!” Coach Moore shouts, signaling for the players to return to the field. Louis hasn’t moved from his position on the bench, he’s been staring at the picture for nearly 20 minutes. As Louis goes to put the picture back in his bag, he sees his phone screen flashing. He knows he shouldn’t answer it, but when he catches a glimpse of the name, he knows he has to.

It’s Harry.

They haven’t talked in a month. Harry wouldn’t call if something wasn’t wrong, especially not this close to a match starting. Louis reaches for his phone, glancing over at Coach. Luckily, Coach is focusing on the clipboard in front of him. Louis answers the phone, his breath catching in his throat as he hears the first line.

“Mr. Tomlinson? This is Mike, I’m a paramedic.” The voice explains, causing Louis to furrow his eyebrows. Paramedic? Why is a paramedic calling from Harry’s phone?

“You were listed as Harry Styles’s emergency contact. I’m calling to inform you that there’s been an accident, you need to come to the hospital.” He continues explaining.

Louis’s heart stops for a brief second, before starting to race. An accident? Hospital? Emergency contact?

“I-I’ll be there as soon as I can, I’m 30 minutes away. Is he alright?” Louis asks, standing up. He grabs his bag, slinging it over his shoulders. He doesn’t care about the game, fuck the game. Harry is hurt.

Louis starts jogging over to Coach, while trying to listen to the paramedic explain that he can’t give any more details over the phone. Louis hangs up, shoving his phone back in his pocket. When Coach sees him, he frowns. “Louis! No phones on the field.” He scolds.

Louis runs up to him, trying to catch his breath. “Coach, I have to go. It’s a family emergency, a family member is in the hospital.” He explains, seeing Niall stop dribbling out of the corner of his eye.

Coach’s eyes widen, quickly nodding. “Take one of our drivers, he’ll get you there quick.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!
> 
> I ended up having more free-time than I thought I'd have, so I was able to get this in. I have some exciting ideas for the next chapter, so I hope you stick around over the weekend to see the next chapter on Monday! 
> 
> Have a good and safe weekend!


	34. Chapter 34: Hospitium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Echos of Mine/ M83
> 
> \- Baby Came Home 2/ The Neighborhood

Chapter 34: Hospitium

White light.

Silence.

Screaming.

Beeping.

That’s all Louis hears and sees as he runs through the hall of the hospital. He can’t seem to catch his breath, he hears the breaths in his ear and feels the heat on his cheeks. His throat is tightening, along with his chest. The ride from the hospital should’ve taken 30 minutes, but it took an hour because of the influx of traffic from the game. Louis loves his fans, he wouldn’t be where he is today if it weren’t for them.

But today, Louis hates them. He hates them for driving in from different places to see the game. He hates them for blocking the roads and congesting the traffic flow.

Louis stops running as soon as he sees a desk in the middle of the lobby, his tired heart hammering in his chest. “M-My friend was just brought in, Harry. Styles, Harry Styles. What room is he in?” Louis asks, pushing his fringe away from his sweaty forehead. He’s still clothed in his football uniform, meaning many people in the waiting room are staring with their mouths open.

The woman at the front desk smiles apologetically, keeping her eyes on the screen. “Sorry, hon, but we’re only allowing family members to visit.”

Louis furrows his eyebrows, silently praying the woman will change her mind. He has to see Harry, he still has no idea what happened to him. Louis will never be able to forgive himself if something happens to Harry and they haven’t spoken in a month. “I’m Louis fucking Tomlinson, I-I play for the Rovers, I… I have to see him, please.” He pleads, hoping his fame will work in his favor.

Louis’s never been one to enjoy using his name to get his way, but he’ll say whatever he has to say right now in order to see his best friend.

The woman looks up from her desk, batting her long eyelashes at Louis. She purses her lips, glancing at his left hand. “It’s a shame you can’t wear a wedding band when you play sports, isn’t it?” She hints, turning the corners of her mouth up. Louis furrows his eyebrows again, not understanding where she’s going with this.

“Wha-?” Louis asks, his voice fading on the tail-end of the word.

Wedding band.

Louis clears his throat, nodding his head. “Uh, yes. I… I’m not allowed to wear my ring when I play, but we’re married. He’s my husband. We’re newlyweds, I’m not used to calling him my husband. That’s why I said friend.” Louis lies, watching as the woman smiles and nods.

“I understand, I just married my husband 2 months ago. Still call him my boyfriend.” She says, chuckling. Louis watches as she keeps her eyes on the computer, her fingers clacking against the black keyboard.

“He’s in room 215, hon.”

Louis turns on his heels, instantly racing toward the nearest elevator. He pushes past the chairs and the desks, repeatedly jamming his finger against the button. Louis groans with every passing second, hoping it’ll speed the elevator up. As soon as the doors open, Louis enters and presses the button for the 2nd floor.

Louis doesn’t know what he’ll do if something is seriously wrong with Harry. Louis’s been such an idiot lately, he hasn’t said a word to Harry in a month. Simply because he was too ashamed to face Harry and apologize for what he said during the interview.

When the doors open for a second time, Louis follows the signage to room 215, stopping before he reaches the open door. He hears beeping, a lot of it.

That’s good, right?

Louis takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he might see. Harry might be seriously injured, he could be burnt, he could be perfectly fine. Louis has no idea what he’s about to walk in to.

Louis puts one foot in front of the other, rounding the corner. The first thing he sees is Harry in the bed, his arms over his belly, and his eyes closed. His curls are falling around his face, his lips are pouty and pink.

Louis stops at the foot of the bed, his eyes filling with tears. He can’t see anything below Harry’s waist, he’s covered with a blanket. Louis makes his way to the nearest chair, pulling it closer to the hospital bed. He sits in it and reaches his hand out, touching Harry’s arm.

“H, wake up. I’m here.” Louis whispers, trying to wake Harry up. Harry doesn’t budge, he keeps his eyes closed. Louis tries shaking him this time, but it doesn’t work.

Louis looks at the screen beside Harry, listening as it has one long beep, signaling that Harry has flatlined. Louis’s eyes widen, choking on his own sobs.

Harry can’t die! He’s only 23! He’s pregnant!

Louis drops his forehead to the bed, his shoulders shaking with every sob. “I’m so sorry.” Louis cries, his hand reaching out to touch Harry’s belly.

At this, Harry wakes up. He slowly opens his eyes, trying to find out who’s causing such a commotion at the end of the bed. When he sees it’s Louis, he raises his eyebrow.

What is Louis doing here? Harry doesn’t remember calling him, but to be fair, he doesn’t remember a lot before his nap. After fainting from the panic attack, Harry decided to take a nap to get his strength up. Now, he’s being woken up by Louis crying.

And… Talking to Harry’s belly?

“I know I gave him shit about keeping you, but I really was so excited to meet you.” Louis sobs, his voice broken and weak.

Was?

Harry looks over to his heart monitor, seeing that it’s flatlined. He rolls his eyes, directing his attention back to Louis. His heart monitor has been doing that off and on all day, his nurse was supposed to get a new one, but she never came back.

Harry keeps watching Louis, not feeling one bit bad about letting Louis think he’s died.

Why should he?

Louis hasn’t spoken to him in a month, this is what he gets!

Harry closes his eyes again, immediately being brought back to 9 years ago when he was in the hospital for the Scarlet Fever.

_“Lou, you know I’m not dying, right?” Harry asks, feeling his eyelashes flutter. He’s so tired, he just wants to go back to sleep. Louis woke him up from his nap 20 minutes ago, because he said Harry was breathing funny. Harry calls bullshit on that, he thinks Louis just got bored from sitting in the hospital. Harry told Louis he could go home, he doesn’t need 24/7 surveillance._

_Louis frowns, smoothing the wet rag over Harry’s forehead. He soaked the rag in warm water, hoping it will help Harry break his fever. He just looks so miserable, Louis just wants to help. He’s always hated seeing Harry sick, he hates it even more now that he’s got a crush on him._

_“I know, but you still need to get better. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Louis says, the last sentence almost inaudible. Harry smiles to himself, allowing himself to fall back asleep._

Harry chuckles at the memory, shaking his head. “Get off of me. I’m not dead, you idiot.” Harry mumbles, suddenly feeling guilty for allowing Louis to believe he was dead.

Louis’s eyes widen, his head flying up from where it was resting on the bed.

Harry’s alive?

“You’re alive!” Louis shouts, causing Harry to roll his eyes again.

“Of course, I’m alive. You think I died from falling down 5 steps?” He asks, smoothing his hand over his belly. Immediately after arriving at the hospital, the nurses did an ultrasound. Everything was fine with the baby, it wasn’t seriously injured.

Harry is so thankful everything is okay, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do if he received bad news.

“You fell down the stairs? I left my game because you fell down the stairs?” Louis asks, standing up from his seat. He thought something terrible had happened, he didn’t think Harry was just being clumsy!

“Hey, I didn’t ask you to come check on me.” Harry defends, frowning.

This isn’t how he thought this conversation would go. He thought Louis would apologize, feeling guilty about what he said and how he’s been avoiding Harry for the past month. It does make Harry feel better that Louis left his game for him, though. Harry was beginning to think Louis didn’t even care about him anymore.

Louis opens his mouth to argue, but the heart monitor flatlines again.

“Why do you keep dying?” Louis shouts, watching as Harry hits the top of the monitor.

“Jesus Chris,” Harry mumbles once the sound stops. He really wishes the nurse would come back with the new monitor, this one is annoying and inconvenient.

Louis’s glad Harry is okay, but he really wishes someone would’ve told him he was okay. He would’ve just visited Harry after the game, he wouldn’t have ditched his game.

Before Louis can say anything, the nurse walks in carrying a bottle of water. “Here you go, sweetie. We’re gonna do another ultrasound before you leave, just to make sure everything looks good. Press the button when you’re done drinking the water.” She instructs, handing Harry the bottle.

“Thank you,” Harry says, taking the bottle from her.

The nurse smiles, placing her hands on her hips. “You tell Richard I said to be more careful, alright? You can’t afford anymore tumbles because of him.” She teases, shooting Harry a wink. Harry laughs quietly, shaking his head.

“I’ll let him know,”

Louis frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. Richard did this? Did he push Harry down the stairs? Louis’s never met the guy, but he wouldn’t put it past him. What is it with Harry and picking shitty guys?

The nurse smiles and walks out, prompting Harry to start drinking the water. Louis watches, leaving his arms crossed over his chest.

“When were you going to tell me that Richard did this? Is he hurting you, Harry?” Louis asks, his voice stern but full of love. He doesn’t want to make Harry think he’s angry with him, but he doesn’t want Harry to lie to him. If Richard is hurting Harry, Louis isn’t sure what he’ll do. He can’t stand the thought of someone hurting Harry.

He’s been hurt enough.

Harry furrows his eyebrows, swallowing the water down his throat. What is Louis talking about? How does he even know about Richard? “Uh, no, he’s not hurting me,” Harry says, smiling at the thought of Richard. He misses him so much, he’s ready to get home to take a nap with the old man.

Harry laughs quietly, taking another drink of the water. He hates having to drink water before his ultrasounds, but it helps them see the baby. “I don’t think he could hurt a fly, actually. He’s so old, I’m just glad I got to him before he crossed to the other side.” Harry says. Richard was only one day away from being put down because they didn’t have enough room at the shelter. Harry can’t imagine what he would do without Richard, it breaks his heart to think about him being put down.

Louis slowly blinks, staring at Harry as he finishes the water. Old? Louis didn’t think Harry was into older guys, but he guesses that explains why Harry hasn’t mentioned anything to him about the new guy. He knew Louis would give him shit about dating an old man. Louis leans back in his seat, keeping his arms crossed over his chest. He actually can’t believe Harry’s moved on.

What happened to Harry being in love with Louis? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this chapter and another chapter today, because I'm working tomorrow all day. The next update won't be until Tuesday/Wednesday most likely. Thanks for sticking around and reading my fic! It really means a lot, and I hope you're liking it so far! 
> 
> We might see jealous Louis in the next chapter :)


	35. Chapter 35: Ratio

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- Unconditional/ Freya Ridings 
> 
> \- Gold Rush/ Taylor Swift

Chapter 35: Ratio

Louis shifts in his seat, chewing on his bottom lip. Harry was in love with Louis a month ago, but now he has a new boyfriend? Louis knows he shouldn’t be upset, he’s the one that said he wasn’t ready to love Harry, but he can’t help it. He was so close to having everything he ever wanted, now it’s ruined. Now, Harry is with someone else.

Harry smiles to himself, rubbing his belly. He’s so full of water, he hates it. He has to wait until after the ultrasound to pee, which is the closest thing to torture Harry’s ever experienced. 

“He’s gonna be so upset if I’m not there in time for dinner, he’s used to having it every day at 5,” Harry says, causing Louis’s eyes to widen.

“What are you, his slave?” He asks, his face covered by a scowl. He can’t believe this! When is Harry going to pick a man that doesn’t treat him like absolute dog shit?

Harry chuckles quietly, nodding his head. “Pretty much,” He says.

Louis shakes his head, not being able to take any more of this. “H, what happened to you wanting me?” He asks, his voice coming out softer than he intended it to. He doesn’t want to seem like he’s begging, but he’s just trying to understand how someone can move on so fast.

Harry furrows his eyebrows. Where did that come from? Louis hasn’t talked to him in a month, and now he’s wanting to know how Harry feels about him?

The feeling hasn’t changed, Harry still wants Louis. It’s all he can think about. He wishes he had never said anything, maybe everything would still be normal. He just doesn’t understand how a conversation from his new cat leads to a conversation about how Harry is feeling about Louis.

“Louis, what are you talking about?” Harry asks, resting his arms over his stomach.

“You… You told me you loved me, and then a month later, you’re with another guy? I know I don’t have a right to be upset, but I am.” Louis says, watching as Harry’s eyes widen.

Oh.

Louis thinks Richard is a guy.

Harry resists the urge to laugh, not wanting to embarrass Louis. He has no idea how this happened, but it’s pretty hilarious. Harry really should correct Louis, but he doesn’t want to. He’s finally getting to hear how Louis feels about him, maybe he’ll let Louis keep believing it for a little bit longer.

And he doesn’t want Louis to think he’s been absolutely miserable since Louis stopped talking to him. He has, but he doesn’t want him to know that.

“Louis, you turned me down,” Harry says, his voice gentle. He’s still been working on not raising his voice, wanting to be better for his child.

Louis shakes his head, sighing. “I know I did, but I just don’t understand how you can move on so fast.” He says.

Harry shakes his own head, getting annoyed with this conversation. It isn’t fair that Louis can reject Harry, but he can also get mad when Harry ‘starts seeing someone else’. Harry wishes Louis would just be open about how he feels. He hates playing games, but he can’t really be too mad, he’s playing games too.

“What was I supposed to do? You didn’t want me, Louis. I told you that I love you and you told me I was the reason you were losing your games.” Harry says, leaning over in his bed. He presses the little red button, signaling for the ultrasound tech to come in. He’s done having this conversation, it isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s just ready to go home and be alone.

“Really? You’re not going to talk about this anymore?” Louis asks, becoming increasingly frustrated with the situation. He wishes he could be honest and tell Harry that he loves him too, but he can’t. He still has to focus on the game, captain or not. He’s been at the top of his game lately, he can’t go back to being doubted.

Louis watches as the tech comes in, a big smile on her face. “Alright, we’re going to check your baby one more time to make sure everything is alright.” She announces, making her way over to the monitor. Harry kicks the blanket off of him, showing Louis his wrapped ankle.

Oh, great. Now Louis feels even worse about arguing.

Harry pulls his shirt up, exposing his belly. The sight makes Louis smile to himself, realizing just how much he missed seeing Harry’s belly. At first, it was weird to see his best friend with a big belly, but now he can’t get enough of it. The tech spreads the gel on his stomach, placing the doppler on his cold skin.

As soon as it makes contact with the stomach, the image is displayed on the screen. This time, Louis can distinctly see the head, the legs, and the arms of the baby. The baby is moving around the screen, causing Harry to tear up again. The room is soon filled with the sound of the heartbeat, reminding Harry of how lucky he was that neither one got seriously injured. The incident could’ve easily been worse.

“Like I said before, everything looks great. The bleeding was most likely because of a threatened miscarriage. This happens when there’s trauma to the abdomen. If this would’ve happened at any time before your 3-month mark, you most likely would’ve lost the pregnancy.” The tech explains, her voice soft. Harry nods, reaching up to wipe his cheeks off.

Louis uncrosses his arms, staring at the screen. He can’t believe how big the baby has gotten, it looks like an actual baby now. He knows Harry is freaking out about the accident, he can tell just by how he’s holding onto his stomach for dear life.

“I understand you live alone, so you might want to think about moving in with a friend or a family member. You’re going to get bigger, there are certain things you won’t be able to do safely. I know you were trying to get to your cat, but you have to be more careful. Everyone in the incident was very lucky, it could’ve been worse for you, the baby, and your cat.” She continues to explain.

Hm.

Cat?

Louis doesn’t remember Harry saying anything about a cat.

Wait.

Harry was trying to get to his cat and that’s why he fell? He thought Richard was the reason Harry fell.

Louis turns his head to Harry, whose cheeks are redder than Louis’s ever seen them.

“Wait, Richard is the cat?” Louis asks, his cheeks heating up. He can’t believe he just got jealous over a cat.

The woman laughs, turning her eyes back to the screen. “Harry showed me pictures, Richard is very adorable. He’s going to get along just fine with his sister.” She says, cleaning the doppler off.

Harry turns to face the tech, his eyes widening.

Sister?

“Wait, sister?” Harry asks, looking at the screen. He couldn’t tell the gender if he tried, everything looks like a black blob.

Louis watches as the woman’s smile fades. “I thought you knew, I’m so sorry.” She says.

Harry’s eyes fill with tears once again, turning to look at Louis. He doesn’t know why he’s looking at Louis, it just feels right. Louis smiles, feeling his own eyes tear up.

A girl.

Harry’s having a girl.

Louis is going to have a niece. Louis can already see it. He’ll have her on the field in no time, as soon as she’s able to run. He already knows he’ll have to take her to the games, Harry will make her late if he takes her. Louis’s going to have to dig deep in his memory to try and remember how to braid hair before games, so no one will pull on her hair.

Harry’s hands fly to his stomach, his thumbs rubbing the tender skin. He can’t believe he’s having a baby girl. He had a feeling, but he thought it would be too early to tell. He wasn’t expecting to know for another month.

The woman stands up, cleaning off Harry’s stomach. “Congratulations,” She says, smiling. Harry politely thanks her, watching as she leaves the room.

As soon as she’s gone, Louis’s standing up out of his chair. Something about knowing the gender of the baby made it even more real. He can’t believe Harry almost lost her, he doesn’t want that to happen ever again. Louis has to do something, he can’t let Harry live by himself. If Louis hadn’t been gone, this would’ve never happened. Louis would’ve made sure that Harry was being as safe as possible.

Harry sits up in bed, swinging his feet over the edge. His ankle is sore, but it’s just a mild sprain. He’ll have to be off of it for a couple of days, but it should be fine in no time.

“Lou, can you help me up?” Harry asks, completely forgetting about the argument. He’s glad Louis isn’t giving him shit about Richard being a cat, but he’s still embarrassed. He should’ve just told Louis to start with. Louis quickly makes his way to the bed, helping Harry up. He bends down, slipping Harry’s shoes on for him. He clears his throat, looking up at Harry.

“What do you think about what she said? About you moving in with someone?” He asks, tying Harry’s laces. He’s wearing his white vans, meaning the back half of his foot is almost out. Louis makes a mental note to buy another pair.

Harry shrugs, holding on to the edge of the bed so he doesn’t fall over on top of Louis. “I’ll be fine. Mum’s been trying to get me to move in with her, but I don’t want to. I’m alright alone.” He answers, watching as Louis stands up.

“Are you? You almost lost the baby, it could’ve been a lot worse.” Louis says, gathering the rest of Harry’s things. Harry frowns, rubbing his belly again. He doesn’t need to be reminded of what happened, he knows it could’ve been worse. He just doesn’t know who he would move in with. He loves his mum, but he’s 23. His sister lives with her boyfriend, he doesn’t want to third wheel all the time. Liam and Zayn are hours away, they’ll have their own baby in a month. He would move in with Louis, but he’s gone all the time.

They exit the room, Harry latching on to Louis’s arm the whole way out to the car. Neither one say anything, each too absorbed in their own thoughts.

Louis is trying to think of what to do. He wants Harry to be safe, he knows he doesn’t need to be alone. He’s a first-time parent, he’s already high risk because he’s a male. Louis stops at the door, calling his driver. Louis was thankful for Coach Moore allowing him to use one of their drivers, he’d probably still be stuck in traffic if he’d drove.

Once the driver pulls up, Louis helps Harry in the back seat. Louis sits next to him, instructing the driver to Harry’s flat.

“Will you be going back to the game?” He asks, looking in the rearview mirror.

Louis shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t feel comfortable leaving Harry alone just yet, he’ll fly back before their next game.

“You should go, I don’t want you to miss practices because of me,” Harry says, suddenly feeling guilty. He didn’t mean for Louis to leave his game, he knows how important they are to him. This is his career, it isn’t just a hobby.

“The only way I’ll go back is if you go with me. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you until we figure out who you’re moving in with. And don’t try to argue, we both know you can’t continue living alone.” Louis says, resting his head on the window.

Wait.

Louis lifts his head up, turning to face Harry. “That’s it! You’re coming with me. You can travel with me, you won’t be alone.” Louis says, a big smile covering his face. He doesn’t know why he didn’t think of this before. Harry will still have alone time when Louis is at practice, but he’ll be surrounded by people otherwise.

Harry shakes his head, frowning. “No, I’m not going to do that. I don’t want to be a burden, Lou. You’ve already got so much going on.” Harry says, continuing to shake his head. He loves the idea of traveling, he could take amazing pictures to build up his portfolio. He’d have access to more clients than he thought he’d ever be able to have.

But he won’t do it. Louis needs to focus on the game, he can’t constantly worry about Harry. Harry will distract him.

“Nonsense, you’re coming with me. Look, I don’t care what I said before. I have to worry about you, H. You’re my best friend, you’re having a baby. I’ll just have to figure out how to compartmentalize.” Louis says, his smile never fading.

Harry takes a deep breath, chewing on his bottom lip. He loves the idea, he knows he’d have so much fun. And if Louis is okay with it, why shouldn’t Harry be okay with it? He’s always wanted to travel with Louis, now he has the chance to.

Harry smiles, his dimples popping out. “Okay,” He giggles.


	36. Chapter 36: Aeternum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- This is how you fall in love/ Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler
> 
> \- Home for the summer/ Sara Kays

Chapter 36: Aeternum

November 20

“Louis, wake up!” Harry whispers, reaching to his side and grabbing a pillow. He lifts the pillow up, chucking it over to Louis’s bed. He knows he shouldn’t wake Louis up, he should know by now that nothing good ever comes from waking Louis up. They’ve been traveling together for a month, meaning they’ve also been sleeping in the same room for a month. The hotel rooms are nice, but they’re still small. Neither boy needs an extravagant hotel room, they’re only in each city for maybe three days.

Harry watches as the pillow flops against Louis’s head, causing him to groan. “LOUIS!” Harry whispers, slightly louder than the first time. Louis reaches up and pulls the pillow away, sitting straight up. He turns to face Harry, his eyebrows furrowed. He doesn’t appreciate being woken up, especially when he’s got a game in…

Louis looks over on the nightstand, seeing the digital alarm clock.

It’s 3 am, meaning Louis has to be up by 7 to get ready for his game at 10.

Great, Louis’s got a game in 7 hours, and Harry is waking him up for god knows what.

“You better have a good reason for waking me up,” Louis says, his voice still deep from his sleep. Harry smiles, nodding his head. He woke up from a very deep sleep when he felt something kicking him. At first, he wasn’t sure where it was coming from. He thought it was Louis kicking him in the side, but then he realized they’re sleeping in separate beds. His next suspect was Richard, who was brought along for the ride. Louis wasn’t thrilled about it, but Harry couldn’t just leave him alone. So, here they are, the three of them sharing a hotel room. Once Harry realized Richard was sleeping with Louis, he tried to go back to sleep. Soon after, he realized that his baby was the one kicking him.

He’s 20 weeks along now, meaning she’s right on time. Harry didn’t think he’d feel her kick this soon, considering it’s his first pregnancy, but his doctors told him he would feel her around the fifth month.

“Come here,” Harry says, scooting over so Louis can lay down. Louis brings his hand to his face, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

“For what?”

“You’ll see, just come here.” Harry urges, resting his hand on his belly. He’s found out that sleeping on his side is the most comfortable position for him. He’s always slept on his stomach, but he can’t do that anymore, so he settled for the next best thing.

Louis groans, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He’s only wearing his black briefs, it’s hot in the hotel room and he must’ve kicked his joggers off while he was asleep. He’s sure he’ll find them when the cleaning lady makes the bed. He slowly makes his way over to the other bed, watching as Harry smiles at him the whole time.

The past month has consisted of Harry staying in the hotel room during practice, only leaving when Louis decides to go out for dinner with Niall. The doctor strongly suggested bed-rest for the month following the threatened miscarriage, meaning Harry is almost off of bed-rest. Louis tried to be strict with it, but Harry’s determined.

And Louis’s always had a hard time telling Harry no.

Louis lays down on his back, immediately closing his eyes when his back hits the warm sheets. He almost falls asleep, no longer wondering what Harry wanted to show him. It’s only when Harry grabs his hand that Louis opens his eyes again. The lamp on the nightstand is on, shining a warm light over their faces. It gives just enough light for Louis to admire the way Harry’s cheeks are marked with the sheet marks.

Louis watches as Harry drags his hand to his belly, staying silent the whole time. Harry’s pushed his t-shirt up to his chest, exposing his big belly.

“H, what are you doing?” Louis asks, resisting the urge to pull his hand away. Harry’s belly is soft and warm, Louis will never stop thinking about it if he doesn’t move his hand. It’s been harder for him lately to avoid his feelings for Harry. They’re cramped in a hotel room together, it’s not his fault! Louis distracts himself with beer and practice, meaning he doesn’t allow himself much time to actually think about it.

Soon after Louis’s question, he feels something kick his hand. Louis sits up slightly, shocked by the movement. He’s never felt a baby kicking, is that what that is? Louis looks over at Harry, who’s tearing up and biting his lip. Louis looks back down at his stomach, tearing up himself. He never thought he’d get attached to the little thing, but here he is. It would be hard not to, Louis’s surrounded by ultrasound scans and baby magazines. Harry’s always asking what his opinion is on things. Louis tried not to get attached, but he can’t help it. He’s finding himself looking forward to meeting her.

“Is this the first time?” Louis asks, feeling as another kick touches his hand. Harry smiles and nods, keeping his own hand on his belly. “Yeah, I wasn’t sure what it was at first.” He says, his voice soft.

Louis smiles, rubbing his thumb softly over the exposed skin. It’s so warm and comfortable in Harry’s bed, Louis knows he could go to sleep if he just closed his eyes.

“Does it hurt?” Louis asks, leaning his head against the pillow. He’s always wondered what it feels like to be pregnant, but he doesn’t think he’d be a good carrier. He’d have to take so much time off from football, Louis isn’t sure he’d ever have kids if he had to carry them.

The baby kicks again, making Harry giggle again. “I think she likes your voice,” He says, smiling up at Louis. Harry’s curled up in his side, his legs intertwined with Louis’s. Louis isn’t sure how they got in this position, but it warms him up, so he doesn’t mind. Louis wraps his arm around Harry’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

“You like my voice? I promise you’ll get sick of it once I’m telling you to run laps every time you’re late to practice because of your mum.” Louis teases, watching as Harry feigns offense.

“Heyyyy, I’m getting better about being on time,” Harry says, watching as Louis laughs. The baby kicks again, causing Harry to sigh quietly. He lays his head against Louis’s chest, closing his eyes. “Alright, poppet, you’ve got to go to sleep. You can’t keep kicking mummy.” He mumbles, feeling himself get sleepy. He was sleeping so good, better than he has in weeks.

Louis closes his eyes, feeling Harry snuggle into his side even more. He starts thinking about what it will be like when the baby is born. The baby is due to be born in April, meaning Louis will have been done with football season for about a month. He’s glad he’ll be done with the season, so he can help Harry get adjusted. Harry’s far away from his family and any other friends, so it’ll be up to Louis to help him out. Louis isn’t sure how he’s going to handle it, but he’ll get through it. He dealt with 6 younger siblings, so this can’t be any different, right?

“Harry?” Louis whispers, listening as Harry hums in his sleep.

“What will she call me?”

Harry smiles in his sleep, thinking of all the things his daughter will call Louis. Uncle Lou, Uncle Louis, Uncle L… She’ll call him whatever she wants to.

“I like Uncle Lou,” Harry mutters, opening his eyes just enough to see Richard jumping on the edge of the bed. The elderly cat makes his way over to the couple, purring the whole way. It took him a while to get adjusted to traveling, but it seems like he enjoys the soft beds. Richard curls up on the other side of Louis’s chest, trapping him in the bed with Harry. If Louis had any intention of going back to his own bed, it’s long gone now.

-

“I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop.”

Louis opens his eyes, staring ahead at the ceiling. He feels too very warm bodies on him. One is 5 months pregnant, the other is as old as dirt. Louis hadn’t meant to sleep in the bed with them, but it was just so comfortable.

“Go ahead, girl, and don’t you stop. Keep going till-“

Louis looks over to the nightstand, where the alarm is. It’s 6:30, meaning Louis still had 30 minutes left to sleep.

Who is calling him?

Louis slowly moves toward the edge of the bed, listening as Harry grunts in his sleep. Richard angrily stands up, sending Louis the worst death stare he’s ever gotten from a cat.

“Yeah, uh-huh, come on-“

Louis reaches for his phone, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Louis, I’m going crazy,” Zayn says, his voice coming out rushed. In the background, Louis can hear what sounds like a newborn baby crying. If Louis listens a little more, he swears he can hear Liam attempting to sing ‘Baby Got Back’.

Louis furrows his eyebrows, running his fingers through his unkempt hair. “What’s going on?” Louis asks, standing up. He makes his way to the bathroom, mentally beating himself up for sleeping in the same bed with Harry. He specifically got two beds for this reason, so he wouldn’t have to sleep with Harry. Louis knows if he makes a habit out of this, it’ll be impossible to separate friendship from love.

“Riggs won’t stop crying! We’ve tried everything!” Zayn says, his voice more frantic than it was when he answered the phone.

Riggs?

Who the hell is Riggs?

Louis traps the phone between his shoulder and his ear, running his toothbrush under the water. “Riggs?”

“The baby, Louis! Keep up!”

Louis’s eyes widen, scowling at himself in the mirror. The baby that Liam and Zayn adopted was born two weeks ago. Evidence of that is all over their social media pages and in the group chat the boys all have. It’s all anyone’s been talking about, except for when they found out that Harry was pregnant. After the Alan Carr interview, everyone found out about it. After that died down, everyone was talking about Riggs.

Louis starts brushing his teeth, feeling as the paste foams up in his mouth. “Alright? Uh, maybe you should change his diaper.”

“Did that.”

Louis frowns, running the toothbrush across his tongue. He isn’t sure why Zayn called him, it’s not like he’s got any experience with babies. He’s the last person anyone should be calling when they’re looking for advice about babies.

“Feed him?”

“Louis, I did that! We’ve done everything we can think of.” Zayn pleads, becoming more frantic as the crying gets louder.

Louis spits in the sink, washing it out. He chuckles quietly, running his fingers through his hair until it looks somewhat presentable.

“Sit him in front of the TV and put on our game,” Louis teases, making Zayn roll his eyes.

“Ha ha. Very funny. You better get better at this before your girl comes.” Zayn says, causing Louis to furrow his eyebrows.

His girl?

Harry’s baby is definitely not ‘his girl’.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Louis asks, leaning against the wall of the bathroom. His attention is directed to the door when Harry walks in, his curls sticking to his cheeks. He’s still in his pajamas, his belly rounder than it was last night. Harry smiles at Louis, walking up to him and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Good morning,” Harry whispers, reaching for his toothbrush.

Since traveling together, Harry’s become more cuddly. Louis isn’t sure if it’s because they’ve been spending so much time together or if it’s because his hormones are going crazy, but Louis tries not to think about it too much. He pulls the phone away from his mouth, forcing a smile.

“Good morning,” He mutters.

“Lou, you’re gonna be the dad. Everyone knows it, except for you. Harry’s gonna be living with you, you’re going to have to do all of the things the dad does.” Zayn says.

Louis takes a deep breath, watching as Harry brushes his teeth. Harry’s got one hand on his belly, rubbing it slowly. He’s never thought of it that way, what Zayn said. Louis always just assumed he would be the Uncle, but now that he’s thinking about it, he will be like the dad. He’ll be helping Harry take care of the baby, at least for a little while. They’ve already agreed that Harry will stay with Louis immediately after the birth, just in case anything happens.

But Louis isn’t ready to be a dad, even if it’s not by blood. He can’t do that.

“Yeah… Hey, look, I got to get ready for the match, alright?” Louis says, hanging up before Zayn can say anything else.

This is the last thing Louis needed before his game today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm backkkkkkk! 
> 
> I should have one or two more updates tomorrow! 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter! I truly love when people dm me on twitter (Only_theangel) or comment on here. It brings me so much joy and inspires me to write!


	37. Chapter 37:  Saevus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for this chapter!
> 
> Mild mention of fighting/blood
> 
> ALSO!! 
> 
> I do not know what Elkan Baggott is like in real life, but this does not display how he is in real life!
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Ain't No Rest for the Wicked (Unpeeled)/ Cage the Elephant 
> 
> \- Daphne Blue/ The Band CAMINO

Chapter 37:Saevus

“You boys ready for the game?” Niall asks, examining the faces in the crowd. The team has less than 10 minutes before kickoff, meaning everyone’s nerves are running high. They’re playing Ipswich town today before flying back to Doncaster for the rest of the weekend. The huddle echos choruses of praise to Niall and the couch, before breaking up for their last-minute break.

Louis slides past Niall, making his way to the sidelines. Harry’s decided to come to this game since he’s officially off bed-rest, which means Louis is supplied with as many Gatorades as he needs. Louis wasn’t able to focus during practice this morning, because he wasn’t able to stop thinking about what Zayn said.

Louis is going to be doing everything the father of the baby would be doing.

He’s already doing it, really. Going to appointments, having the latest ultrasound scan in the back of his phone case, feeling the baby kick, constantly wondering about what the child will be like…

Does Harry know this? Zayn said everyone except for Louis could see it, did he include Harry in that?

Harry spots Louis walking toward him, immediately picking the Gatorade up out of his bag. Louis calls it a purse, but it’s a bag. Harry has to start getting used to carrying bags around, soon he’ll be carrying diaper bags around. The Gatorade is Louis’s favorite flavor, Lemon Lime. Harry can’t stand the flavor, he prefers Fruit Punch, but he’s not the one drinking it.

“How are you feeling? Are you too cold? If you get too cold, I’m sure I can have you moved to the boxes.” Louis says, resting his hands on his hips. He isn’t sure why Harry won’t accept the luxury box that was offered to him, instead, wanting to stand out in the cold.

Harry smiles and shakes his head, moving his hand to his belly when he feels the baby kick again. She hasn’t kicked again since Harry woke up this morning, but as soon as she hears Louis’s voice, she starts kicking again. “I’m alright, Lou. Don’t worry about me, just think about the game.” He says.

Louis darts his eyes from Harry’s red cheeks to his belly, suddenly feeling the urge to touch the round belly. He isn’t sure why he does, but he can’t help it. Now that the baby is kicking, Louis found it hard to concentrate on anything except feeling her kick again. It makes Louis proud, to know that he’s already got a kicker.

Well, he doesn’t have one. Harry has one. Harry will have a great kicker to be proud of once she starts playing football.

Harry sees Louis staring at his belly, so he reaches out and grabs his hand. He places it on the side of his belly, where she’s most active. Louis looks up at Harry, smiling softly. He rubs his thumb over the taut skin, wishing the skin wasn’t covered by one of Harry’s older hoodies.

Harry holds the Gatorade out to Louis, bringing Louis back to reality. He has a game, he can’t be spending his last-minute break rubbing a tummy. Louis pulls his hand away, reaching to grab the cold drink. “Good luck,” Harry says, shooting Louis an easy wink.

Louis gives Harry a hard nod, turning around to jog back to the field. Niall is hyping the team up once again, just like he always does. At first, the adjustment going from Louis being captain to Niall being captain was a hard one to get used to. After a couple of weeks, Louis realized Coach made the right decision. Just because Louis can’t stay focused doesn’t mean the team should have to suffer.

Louis takes a quick sip of the drink, tucking it underneath the bench. “Alright, lads! Go ahead and line up,” Niall instructs, watching as the team breaks up. Most of the players take their place on the bench, while the others jog out onto the field. Louis takes his place on the right of the field, taking deep breaths. He rolls his shoulder from the right to the left, closing his eyes.

He doesn’t know why he still gets so nervous about playing, you think he wouldn’t be nervous after playing two seasons. Louis just always wants to do his best, he doesn’t want to let anyone down. Especially not when Harry is watching.

The defender from the other team lines up in front of Louis, sending him a cocky smirk. It’s Elkan Baggott, immediately annoying Louis. He’s only 18 years old, 5 years younger than Louis was when he started playing professionally. Louis used to like the kid before he realized that he thinks he’s entitled and he’s a complete ass.

Louis hates defending against him, but at least it gives Louis the extra motivation to play harder.

Elkan smiles down at Louis, looking him up and down. Elkan is 6’4”, Louis a measly 5’9”. Under Elkan’s gaze, Louis feels about 3 feet tall.

Elkan nods over to the sidelines, keeping his eyes on Louis. “Finally showing off your baby mama?” Elkan asks, his voice low enough that only Louis can hear him. Louis clenches his jaw, looking over at Harry, who’s smiling and cheering. Louis looks back at Elkan, calmly reminding himself to breathe slowly.

If he retaliates in any way, he could get a yellow card. If he gets two yellow cards, he’ll be kicked out of the game. Louis has to stay level-headed. So, he chooses to ignore the comment.

However, this only eggs Elkan on. He looks over at Harry, smiling and waving. Louis watches as Harry smiles back, sending a simple wave back. Louis shakes his head, placing his hands on his hips.

Harry places his hand on his belly, watching the interaction between the two boys. He doesn’t know what they’re talking about, but the tall guy seems nice. He seems to be smiling a lot, looking back over at Harry ever so often. Harry studies Louis, watching as he shakes his head for a second time. Louis looks tense, but Harry can’t tell what they’re talking about.

Elkan towers over Louis, his chest pressed against Louis’s. “You like playing daddy, huh? Tell me, how are you so sure the baby isn’t yours? I bet you’ve already fucked him, haven’t you?” Elkan says, smirking down at Louis.

Louis keeps his jaw clenched, inhaling and exhaling as slow as he can. If Elkan says much else, he’ll regret it. He can say whatever he wants to say about Louis, but Louis draws the line at talking about Harry.

Elkan looks back over at Harry, smiling again. “Yeah, he looks like he’ll open his legs for anybody. Maybe even me, yeah?”

Louis doesn’t have time to think before he’s sending his body forward, full speed. He crashes against Elkan’s body, sending him to the ground. Elkan lands on his back, his eyes wide. Louis straddles his waist, bunching the jersey up in his fist. “You keep your fucking mouth shut, nasty little rat!” He grumbles.

Harry’s eyes widen at the sight, resisting the urge to run forward and pull Louis off of the man. He’s never seen Louis aggressive, especially not at a game. He doesn’t understand what happened, everything looked fine from the sidelines. Harry watches as the referees and Coach Moore run over to Louis, shouting at him to get off of Elkan.

Elkan chuckles, keeping his eyes on Louis. “You sure about that? I’m sure Harry wouldn’t want me to keep it closed.” He says, winking.

Louis draws his fist back, furrowing his eyebrows as he feels the fist connect with Elkan’s sharp jaw. He doesn’t understand why Elkan is doing this. Every player talks shit, but most players don’t cross the line involving family. Most players know there are certain things they can shit-talk about and things they can’t. Louis knows Elkan just wanted to throw him off of his game, but he crossed the line.

Blood splatters against Louis’s knuckles, sending him over the edge. Elkan groans and brings his hands up to his face, blocking any more of Louis’s blows. Louis feels at least 5 pairs of hands on him, trying to pull him off.

But he won’t stop.

He _can’t._

This is what he should’ve done 7 years ago when Harry came to him and told him what Luke did. This is what he should’ve done when he realized Luke was married. This is what he should’ve done to everybody who’s ever hurt Harry, because how can they hurt something as perfect and as precious as Harry?

Elkan flips the pair over, trapping Louis between his legs. Louis immediately guards his face, but Elkan is too fast.

Louis grunts as he feels Elkan’s knuckles cut through his lip, filling his mouth with the metallic taste.

“Baggott! Get off of him!” Coach Lambert shouts, grabbing Elkan by the jersey. Elkan lets up on Louis, trying to catch his breath. Louis looks up, watching as Elkan is pulled off of him. His face is cut up, his left eye is already bruised.

The next thing Louis sees is Coach Moore, towering over him with an angry look on his face. The referee holds up two red cards, one for Elkan and one for Louis, meaning both of the players are disqualified from playing.

“Tomlinson, locker room.”

Louis struggles to get up, feeling dizzy from the altercation. He walks off the field, running his tongue over his lower lip. It’ll be swollen in a few minutes, he’ll have to ice it. As Louis walks past the sidelines, Harry follows quickly behind. He doesn’t know what got into Louis, he’s never seen him act like that.

He has to know what happened.

Coach Moore follows the pair in the locker room, shutting the door behind him. “What the hell happened out there?” He asks, his face red. Louis can tell he’s angry, he’s seen him like this many times before. But never at Louis, always angry at other players.

Louis sighs, using his thumb to swipe the blood off of his lip. “I’m sorry, he crossed the line, alright? There are some things you shouldn’t talk about on the field.” Louis explains, avoiding Harry’s gaze.

Harry looks even more disappointed than Coach Moore.

“What could he have said that was so bad that you needed to get disqualified from the game? You know how much we needed you out there, Louis!” He scolds, crossing his arms over his chest.

Louis sits on the bench, cradling his head in his hands. He doesn’t want to tell Harry what Elkan said, it’d make him feel terrible. Louis doesn’t want him to feel bad or not come to any more of the games, but Coach is asking him.

“He was talking about family.”

Technically, he’s not lying. Harry is family. He always has been, he always will be.

Coach Moore sighs, rubbing his hand over his sweaty, bald head. “You know the drill. You’re out for 2 games. Go home and cool down, Louis.” He mutters, turning around and walking out of the locker room.

Harry leans against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He can’t be mad at Louis, he knows whatever Elkan said must’ve been horrible for Louis to get suspended. Louis’s been able to handle a lot of things on the field, he’s never lost it quite like he did just now.

Louis stands up, walking over to his locker. He peels his shirt off of his chest, shooting a glare over to Harry. “Wanna get breakfast?” He asks, clearing his throat. He hopes Harry doesn’t press him any further, he doesn’t want to talk about what happened.

It’s only just now 10:00 am, they have some time before the players board the flight at 1. They’ll be home around 4, giving them just enough of the rest of the day to start planning for the nursery. Harry says he’s got a strict timeline he wants to go by, to make sure everything is done in time for the baby’s arrival.

Harry sighs, trying his best not to smile at the way Louis looks standing there shirtless, his lip bleeding from the fight. He’s had an extremely increased sex drive lately, but he thought it would’ve gone away by now. His belly is getting bigger every day, he doesn’t understand why all he can think about is what it would feel like to have sex with his best friend.

He feels like a total creep for thinking about it, but he can’t help it! He’s tried everything he can think of to get it out of his head.

“Fine.” He mutters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have one more update tonight, maybe one tomorrow! I'll have a couple this weekend, too !


	38. Chapter 38: Somnium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Sweat/ Zayn 
> 
> \- Moon River/ Frank Ocean

Chapter 38: Somnium

_“Come on, tell me how much you want me. Put that pretty little mouth to use.” Louis whispers, squishing Harry’s cheeks in his dainty hands. Harry moans and closes his eyes, too embarrassed to look at Louis._

_They’ve been best friends for 19 years, how is he supposed to look in his eyes as he begs him to fuck him?_

_“P-please, Lou. I need it.” Harry whispers, opening his eyes to see Louis smiling and shaking his head. They’re in the kitchen, Louis has pressed Harry against the island. Harry isn’t sure how this started, but that’s not what’s important._

_Harry’s cheeks redden, his eyes threatening to close as he swallows. He’s never been good at dirty talk, he dreads it, really. He doesn’t know how some people do it, it just doesn’t come naturally to him._

_“Louis, I want you so much. I’ve wanted you for so long, just give it to me already.” He mutters, his voice slightly louder than it was the first time. Louis smirks, dropping his hand to Harry’s chest, running it slowly down to the top of his jeans. Louis maintains eye contact as he unbuttons Harry’s jeans, mentally cursing whoever made these jeans for making them so damn tight._

_Harry tries to steady his breath, feeling his head become swimmy. He’s wanted this for so long, he can’t believe this is actually happening._

_Harry lowers his head, watching as Louis drops to his knees in the kitchen. The tile is hard under his knobby knees, but Harry will make sure to take care of him later. Right now, he just needs his mouth._

_Louis tugs Harry’s jeans down to his thighs, exposing the thin black material. Harry moves his hand from the counter to Louis’s hair, immediately tangling his thin fingers in the brown locks. Louis chuckles, looking up at Harry. “Easy, tiger. You’ve waited 19 years, I think you can wait a couple more seconds,”_

_“Louuuuu, please.” Harry grunts, leaning his head back. He closes his eyes, feeling the thin material being pulled from his waist, slowly being drug down his legs._

_Once his leaky cock is free from the material, he feels Louis’s small hand wrap around it. Harry sighs at the contact, resisting the urge to buck his hips. Louis’s barely even got started and he already feels better than anyone Harry’s ever been with. Louis slowly jerks Harry a couple of times before licking his ready lips, sticking his tongue out to quickly taste Harry._

_Harry moans, his jaw going slack. Louis’s tongue is so wet and so, so warm. Louis continues giving Harry gentle kitten licks, teasing him, before finally taking Harry in his mouth. Harry scrunches his face up, tightening his grip on Louis’s hair. It feels better than Harry could’ve ever imagined, he knows he won’t last long. Louis hollows his cheeks, taking Harry deeper in his mouth. Harry bites his lip, feeling as the tip of his cock hits-_

“Harry?” Louis says, standing above the sleeping body on the floor. Harry’s been asleep for the past hour, ever since they got home. Louis went to unpack their bags, when he came back downstairs Harry was asleep on the floor. Poor thing, he couldn’t even make it to the couch.

Louis was fine leaving Harry to sleep, he knows he’s not been sleeping well lately. Normally, he’d insist on taking him to bed because of his bad back, but he just looked so cute sleeping on the floor. So, Louis covered him up with a blanket and placed a fluffy pillow under his head.

Louis started making dinner (thanks to Youtube videos that seem to understand that some people just aren’t skilled in the kitchen) when he heard a strange noise coming from the main room. He came into the living room to investigate when he caught Harry rutting his hips against the soft rug below him. It took him a while to realize what was going on.

He didn’t catch on until he heard Harry whimper and moan with every passing thrust.

Now, Louis is carefully poking Harry’s side with his foot, trying to wake him up. As hot as the sight may be, Louis doesn’t feel right watching his best friend get off in his sleep. Harry hasn’t consented for Louis to watch him get off, so Louis needs him to take it to the bedroom. Louis’s fighting off his own boner, so maybe some space would do the pair some good.

Harry stops his movements, opening one eye.

He slowly looks around the room, his attention quickly being brought to the aching between his legs. The next thing he realizes is that there’s a wet spot in his pants.

Great.

He came in his fucking pants like a 13-year-old getting made out with for the first time.

Harry directs his attention to the foot that’s being stabbed in his side, along with the foot that’s currently stepping on his bladder. He grunts, turning over on his back. He’s thankful for the blanket, if he didn’t have it Louis would know that he came in his pants.

“Get up, it’s not good to sleep on the floor,” Louis says, turning back to go into the kitchen. Dinner’s only got five minutes left, he’s just got to add the finishing touches. It’s not anything impressive, but Louis always liked it when his mum made him this for dinner, so he reckons Harry will like it.

Harry sits up, holding the blanket against his chest. He slowly stands up, feeling his leg muscles strain as he moves. It’s becoming increasingly hard to move up and down with the big belly in his way. The extra pounds are starting to add up now, making everything harder. Once he’s finally up, he holds the blanket around his waist, making his way to the downstairs bathroom.

He shuts the door behind him, dropping the blanket as soon as he’s alone. Luckily, he’s got some extra jogging pants laying around. He grabs a rag and runs it under cold water, pulling his jeans off of his sore legs. He quickly cleans up the sticky mess before discarding the pants and the rag.

Harry gets dressed, washing his hands before he eats dinner. He has no idea what Louis’s making, but he can smell it all the way in the bathroom. Whatever it is, it’s making the baby go crazy.

Harry smiles to himself, running his large hand over his round belly. “You ready for mummy to eat?” He mutters, making his way out to the main room. He walks through, watching as Louis sits a plate down on the island. Harry looks over at the counter, seeing a Youtube video displayed.

Louis needed a Youtube video to make dinner?

Harry smiles to himself, taking a seat on the small stool. “You needed a video explaining how to make grilled cheese?” He teases.

Louis fights his smile, rolling his eyes. Richard walks into the kitchen, apparently intrigued by the smell. He slinks around Louis’s ankles, purring to signal that he’s ready for his dinner. “It’s not just any grilled cheese,” Louis says, walking over to the cupboard. He reaches down to get a can of Fancy Feast, along with bits of kibble. He doesn’t understand why a cat needs both, but he tried giving Richard only kibble one night and he woke up to his couch cushions being ripped to shreds.

He places the cans on the floor, watching as Richard completely devours the food.

“Oh, yeah? And what makes this recipe so special?” Harry asks, peeling back the top piece of bread. It smells good, better than any grilled cheese he’s ever had.

Louis sits next to him, a smile on his face. “It’s my mum’s recipe. 1/3 white cheddar, 1/3 yellow cheddar, and 1/3 American cheese.” Louis explains, picking the sandwich up and taking a bite.

Harry smiles, the memories flooding in. “That’s where I recognized the smell from. Your mum used to make these for me anytime I babysat the girls.” Harry says, smiling fondly at the memory. Harry can recall countless days when he and Louis would watch a movie together, munching on the sandwiches while the girls played with their favorite toys.

Harry wouldn’t let Johannah pay him for babysitting, so she always made sure to pay him in snacks.

Louis nods, chewing on his bite. He pushes it to the side of his mouth, watching as Harry tries his own sandwich. “So, about the nursery,” Louis starts.

Harry closes his eyes as soon as the cheese meets his tongue, the warmth flooding his whole entire body. Johannah was always great at making these, but it seems like Louis has her beat.

“I know you have a strict timeline, but I was thinking we could start ordering some of the furniture. Liam texted me a picture of the crib they’re using, he loves it. He says Riggs always sleeps through the night.” Louis continues.

Louis’s glad that Liam and Zayn were the first friends to have a baby because he can ask for advice. He knows Harry’s been talking to them about it too, but Louis wanted to make sure he was kept in the loop. He hopes Harry doesn’t think he’s crossing any boundaries, he just wants to help.

Harry smiles, swallowing his bite. “We can’t order furniture before we have a theme.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, taking a sip of his drink. “A theme?” He asks. He had no idea people had themes for a nursery. He thought people just painted the room and ordered furniture.

Harry nods, taking another bite of his sandwich. “Yeah. Some people use flowers, rainbows, fruits…”

“Ooh, football!” Louis suggests, smiling. It’s the perfect theme!

Harry laughs, shaking his head. “Absolutely not!”

“Why not?” Louis frowns, pouting. If he had been able to pick the theme of his nursery, he would’ve picked football.

“That’s tacky, Lou. I was leaning more toward a Cottagecore theme.”

“Cottagecore?” Louis asks, finishing his sandwich off. He stands up from the stool, carrying his plate to the sink. Harry watches as Louis’s back muscles flex through his shirt, causing him to clear his throat. He just had a wet dream about his best friend, this is the last thing he needs.

“Uh, yeah. Like rustic theme, I guess.” Harry responds, pushing his plate away. The baby starts kicking, causing Harry to grimace. It doesn’t hurt when she kicks, but sometimes she can get excited.

Louis places the dishes in the dishwasher, turning back to face Harry. He places his hands on his belly, smiling at Harry.

“She’s really going for it, isn’t she?” He mumbles, dropping his eyes back to the belly. Even through Harry’s shirt, he can see imprints of the tiny feet through his skin. If it wasn’t Harry, he’d think it was disgusting. But because it’s Harry, he thinks it’s actually quite beautiful.

He’s going to enjoy being home with Harry for the weekend, especially since he’s going to be off next game. At first, Louis was really upset about being benched for the next game. After the plane ride home, he realized he needs a break. He’s got so much going on, it’ll be nice to relax for a while.

Harry places his own hands on his belly, rubbing them in circles. “Poppet’s got a nice lil kick on her.” He teases, watching as Louis’s face lights up.

“Will you really let her play?”

Harry smiles to himself, feeling his heart flutter at the image of Louis teaching his daughter how to play football. Harry’s never cared about football, only when Louis was playing, but thinking about Louis showing his daughter something he’s so in love with makes Harry want to be a part of it. Maybe he’ll be the type of mum to make signs and embarrass his daughter every game.

“I’ll let her play, Lou.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the pic in this chapter isn't actually Harry, but I thought it fit really well!
> 
> Also, I've had people ask how many words this fic will be, and I can say it'll be well over 100k words! I don't have an exact number, but it'll definitely be over 100k.


	39. Chapter 39: Decoratus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: 
> 
> \- As I Am/ H.E.R.
> 
> \- I Wanna Dance with Somebody/ Bootstraps

Chapter 39: Decoratus

November 21

“What about Duck Green? Ooh, wait! I like Studio Green.” Harry says, holding up the samples. He had paint samples delivered to Louis’s house while they were gone for the week, meaning Louis’s doorstep was covered with tiny little pots of essentially the same color. Louis doesn’t understand the difference between Duck Green, Studio Green, or any other kind of green.

Louis’s decided to keep his mouth shut during this part because he has no idea what Harry is going for in the nursery. He tried to read up on Cottagecore, but each style and each picture looked so different, he couldn’t get a good grasp on what it actually was like.

Louis has an extra bedroom upstairs, so he decided that would be the nursery. Before Harry moved in, Louis slept on the lower floor. After Harry’s incident with steps, Louis decided to let Harry have his bedroom. Louis took the guest room, only regretting it when he had to walk out of the bedroom to go to the toilet.

Harry studies the paint samples closely before popping the lid off of one of the cans. “Here, try this one,” He mutters, pouring a tiny bit of the paint in the pan. Once he’s done, he reaches up from his position on the floor to hand the pan to Louis, along with a paintbrush.

Louis dips the brush in the paint, quickly moving it to the nearest wall. He paints a couple of stripes, going over each one with a second coat. “Which one is that?” He asks, dropping his gaze to Harry.

He’s wearing one of his old band t’s, paired with the infamous black skinny jeans. His long curls are in a bun on the top of his head, which Louis thinks is quite cute. He looks like a proper mum. Just add some reading glasses and a book in his hand, he’d look just like every pregnant person he’d ever seen.

“It’s Duck Green,” Harry responds, studying the paint on the wall. He didn’t want to go with the stereotypical colors, like pink or purple. Harry remembers hating his room when he was a child because it was painted blue, all the way up until Harry was 8. He finally decided he was sick of it and painted it light blue and light pink.

He remembers the first time Louis saw it after he repainted it. Louis was beaming with pride because his best friend finally got enough courage to change the one thing he hated about his home.

“What do you think about it?” Louis asks, stepping back to admire his work. It’s nothing fancy, just a couple of lines down the wall, but he really likes the color. It reminds him of a fairy, maybe that’s what Harry’s going for.

Harry studies it for a while longer, before pouring the other color in the other pan. “Try this one,”

Louis grabs the pan and repeats his motion, painting stripes on the wall with the Studio Green. As soon as he’s done, he looks down at Harry, searching for his approval. Harry rests his arm on his folded knee, plopping his tired head in the palm of his hand. They’ve been up for hours, searching the internet with Cottagecore themed furniture and accessories.

“I can’t tell, what do you like best?”

Louis darts his eyes between the Duck Green and the Studio Green, suddenly feeling helpless.

He can’t tell a difference.

They both look the exact same.

Louis smiles, running his fingers through his hair. This is the first decision he’s been involved with during the pregnancy and he can’t even distinguish between the two choices. How is he supposed to be a good Uncle if he can’t even do this? What happens when the baby is crying because something is wrong and Harry is too tired to do anything? What happens when the baby comes up to Louis and wants him to help her pick between two of her love interests? What happens when she gets a car and is asking for Louis’s opinion between the two of them? What if Louis picks the wrong one and she drives off in it, only for it to blow up as soon as she’s gone down the road 2 kilometers?

Harry raises his eyebrow, leaning back on his hands. Louis looks perturbed. Very perturbed. Harry never thought it’d be this hard to decide on a paint color, but Louis looks like he’s taking it very seriously.

“Lou? Y’alright?” Harry asks, watching as Louis’s head snaps over to him. He quickly puts on a fake smile, attempting to fool Harry.

“I’m fine,” He lies. Harry frowns, reaching his hands up to signal Louis to help him up out of the floor. “You’re lying. What’s going on?” Harry asks, watching as Louis locks his hands with his.

Louis pulls Harry up, letting go of his hands as soon as he’s on his own two feet. He sighs, darting his eyes back over to the drying paint on the wall. “H, I can’t tell a difference between the two,”

The corners of Harry’s mouth turn up, his hands finding his swollen belly. Louis continues, his eyes on the wall in front of him.

“What if I’m not a good Uncle? I mean, this is the first thing you’re letting me help out with and I’m already a failure. What if I’m like my-“

Harry stops him at that, immediately knowing where this is going. “Louis, stop. Don’t say that. You’re not going to be anything like your father.”

Harry doesn’t know much about Louis’s dad, but neither does Louis. Louis only knows that his biological father left when Louis was only a week old. He didn’t leave so much as a note explaining why he did it. Louis thinks he left because he couldn’t handle having a newborn and all of the pressure that came with it.

Harry reaches out, resting a hand on Louis’s arm, rubbing the muscle with his thumb. “Why do you think I asked you what you think about the colors, huh? ‘Cause I can’t tell the difference either.” Harry says, his voice soft and gentle. Louis laughs quietly, dropping his gaze to the floor beneath them.

“You’re overthinking this, Lou. You’re going to be an Uncle, not a father. You get to be the one that takes her out of school early to get ice cream. You’re gonna be the one that she comes to when she’s upset with me for disciplining her. You’re gonna be the fun one, you don’t have to worry about anything else.”

Louis glances back up at Harry, his smile fading.

That’s the issue. Louis thinks he might actually want to be more of a father to the child. How is he going to live with Harry for 6 months while he’s pregnant and at least 2 months after the baby is born and still be expected to be perfectly fine with Harry moving out? He wants the whole thing, he doesn’t want to be part-time in this.

He doesn’t want to be just the Uncle that takes her to football practice or gets her out of school early. He wants to be the one she comes to when she had a hard day or the one she comes to when she had a nightmare. He already loves her so much and she’s not even born yet, he knows he’s going to love her even more when she’s born.

But how is he supposed to say this to Harry?

How is he supposed to tell his best friend of 19 years that he wishes he was the one that knocked him up? How is he supposed to tell him that he doesn’t want to play house anymore, he wants to actually make it happen?

“You’re right,” Louis says, forcing out a chuckle. He doesn’t know what to say, so he’ll settle for that.

Harry smiles, flexing his slim fingers around Louis’s bicep. “Here, touch the belly. It helps calm you down, I swear,” He says, moving Louis’s hand to his stomach.

Louis smiles to himself and slightly rubs his hand over the belly, keeping his eyes on Harry. “She been kicking you lately?”

Harry shrugs, a small smile on his soft lips. “Not really. She only really goes crazy when she hears you.”

Louis steps closer until the belly is pressed against his toned stomach. He came closer so he could get a better feel of the baby, but as soon as he does, he regrets it. Harry’s face is dangerously close to Louis’s, causing him to take deep breaths.

They haven’t been this close since Harry kissed him 2 months ago.

Despite the tension in the room, neither boy moves. They stand in silence, Louis bearing a hole through Harry’s soul. Harry doesn’t understand why Louis doesn’t move. Does Louis want to kiss Harry? Is that why he’s not moving?

Harry takes a deep breath, breathing out a nervous chuckle. “Lou, what are you-“

Before Harry can finish the sentence, Louis’s lips are on his. Harry’s hands immediately find their way to Louis’s sharp cheekbones, bringing him even closer than he was before. Louis’s hands move from Harry’s belly to his waist, softly rubbing the skin there. The kiss is soft and gentle, but it’s urgent. It’s 19 years’ worth of angst and desperation flying out of the window. It’s 19 years’ of stolen glances and nervous laughter, all combining to create the most perfect kiss Louis’s ever had.

Louis runs his tongue over Harry’s bottom lip, pulling Harry closer as he opens his mouth for him. Harry moans quietly, one of his hands going to the back of Louis’s neck.

If Louis had ever imagined their first proper kiss, it would’ve never been like this.

Standing in a nursery while Harry is 5 months pregnant.

But it’s still perfect, because it’s _them_. It’s _Louis and Harry_.

Harry sighs into the kiss, his eyes fluttering under his closed eyelids. Suddenly, everything they’ve been through for the past 19 years makes sense. Every missed date, every stolen glance, every horrible first date, every terrible thing that’s ever happened to either of them make sense.

Because this is where they were supposed to end up.

They were never supposed to end up with other people. They were always supposed to be with each other, they were always supposed to be home.

Louis is the first person to pull away, suddenly spooked by his actions.

Why did he do that?

Did he really do that?

_Why why why why why why wh-_

“Holy shit,” Harry mutters, his cheeks reddening. He watches as Louis backs up, his eyes wide. Harry takes a step forward, trying to catch his breath.

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that,” Louis lies, running his fingers through his messy hair. Normally, he hates when people touch his hair, but now, he wants Harry’s fingers in his hair all of the time.

Harry frowns, reaching out to touch Louis’s arm again. As soon as his hand makes contact, Louis jerks his arm back.

“Louis, I’m done playing around, alright? I love you, you know I do. It’s been torture to live with you for months and months and not be able to be with you the way I want to. I know you feel the same way,”

Louis shakes his head, trying to convince himself that this has all be a dream. He’ll wake up tomorrow, Harry won’t be pregnant, Louis will still be the captain of the team, everything will be back to normal. Neither one of them will be in love with each other.

Because this can’t happen.

Even if Louis wants it to happen.

He’ll fuck it up, he always does. He’ll ruin everything.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Louis says.

Harry frowns, taking another step forward. He knows Louis’s scared, but he shouldn’t be. It’s just Harry, it’s the same Harry Louis’s known his whole life. Doesn’t Louis trust Harry?

“Stop fighting it, please. Stop building up walls, Lou. You deserve to be loved, you deserve to love someone. I know you think you don’t, but I’ll show you if you let me,” Harry pleads, his eyes stinging with tears.

Louis glances at Harry, his eyes scanning over his face. He’s genuinely begging Louis to be honest, to just be open. But how can Louis do that? He’s so used to hiding who he is, what he wants, how he feels…

Without giving himself enough time to think, he reaches for Harry’s face one more, completely surrendering to who he is and what he wants. He’s done running, he’s done fighting it.

He just wants to be loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEEEK 
> 
> It's finally happening!
> 
> I should have one more update today and maybe one more tomorrow! 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	40. Chapter 40: Arbitrium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Stupid Deep/ Jon Bellion 
> 
> \- Sooner/ The Low Blow

Chapter 40: Arbitrium

November 22

“Good morning, love,” Harry grumbles, rolling over on his side. He has an appointment in an hour, both boys woke up later than they should’ve. It’s not their fault, they stayed up too late last night watching movies together.

After the kiss in the nursery, Harry and Louis spent the rest of the day watching movies together, just like they used to do. Neither one has discussed what the kiss means, what it changes for their friendship. They’ve been too busy cuddling and kissing to discuss anything.

Louis grunts, throwing his arm over his head. He doesn’t want to get up, he just wants to spend the day in bed. He should be up practicing for the game, but Elkan screwed it up for him. Louis flies out Wednesday to be with the rest of the team, before coming back on Saturday.

“Don’t wanna,” Louis mumbles, squeezing his eyes shut. He can see the light pouring through his eyelids, knowing that Harry has opened the curtains and turned the light on. Harry has always been better than Louis about waking up, despite his habit of showing up late everywhere.

Harry walks to the master bathroom, plucking his toothbrush out of its holder. “Come on, don’t you want to get it over with?” Harry asks, leaning on the doorframe as he brushes his teeth. He has his amniocentesis today, meaning both of the boys are anxious about the appointment. Because Harry’s a boy and he’s already had a threatened miscarriage, the doctors want to do the procedure to make sure everything else is going to go smoothly. He’s a high-risk pregnancy, it’s only routine to do this test. Harry’s worried about it hurting and Louis is worried about the risk of miscarriage. It only occurs in 1% of procedures, but still, that’s a chance he doesn’t want to take.

Louis uncovers his face, groaning as he gets out of bed. He walks over to Harry, standing on his tip-toes to press a gentle kiss to Harry’s chin. He doesn’t have his toothbrush in this bathroom anymore, so he’ll have to go upstairs to brush his teeth and get ready. “I’ll be back down in a mo’,” Louis mumbles, turning to walk out of the bedroom.

He makes his way up to the bathroom, stretching his arms over his head. When he rounds the corner of the guest bedroom, he spots Richard asleep at the foot of the bed. Louis reaches out and scruffs the kitten’s head, smiling to himself. “I’m sorry, buddy, I forgot to tell you I wouldn’t be up here last night.” He says, going to his closet.

Even though Richard is Harry’s cat, he prefers to be with Louis. Anytime Louis falls asleep on the couch or doesn’t come to bed, Richard pouts the whole next day. Louis doesn’t understand why he won’t just come downstairs, but he apologizes nonetheless. Richard picks his head up, giving Louis a disapproving look. Louis dresses in his “LOSS International” black long-sleeve shirt, along with his light-wash jeans and white converses.

Louis looks over at Richard, frowning. “Don’t give me that look, you old hag. I know you don’t think it’s a good idea, but I do,” Louis says. Richard meows angrily, standing up and stretching. Louis sighs, tugging on the edges of his shirt.

He can’t believe he’s arguing with a cat about his love life.

Louis walks to the bathroom, squirting the rest of the toothpaste on his brush. He clanks the brush against his white teeth, staring at himself in the mirror. He knows he did the right thing.

Didn’t he?

He’s finally giving in to what he wants, what he needs. He doesn’t want to run anymore. He loves Harry, he always has. He doesn’t care if he loses everything else in the process, he’s finally got what he’s always wanted. Louis finishes brushing his teeth, leaning over the sink and spitting the paste out. He rinses his mouth, wiping it off with the back of his hand.

He jogs downstairs, grabbing his car keys off of the end table. He watches as Harry struggles to get his coat on, no longer as flexible and free-ranged as he used to be. Louis chuckles to himself, causing Harry to frown. “Don’t even need a coat. ’S not that cold,” He mutters, throwing his coat down on the couch.

Louis quickly picks it up, tutting and shaking his head. “You’ll freeze to death. Here, let me put it on you,” He says, watching as Harry pouts. Louis holds the coat out for Harry, watching him stick his arms in the holes. As soon as Harry’s arms are all the way in, Louis shimmies the coat on his shoulders, smiling proudly.

-

“Okay, just take a deep breath, Harry. It’s not gonna hurt for long, just for a second,” The tech instructs, spreading the gel over his cold tummy.

Harry’s pulled his shirt up, exposing his belly. Louis’s sat in the chair beside the table, not exactly sure what to do. He should hold his hand, shouldn’t he?

But that’s what a boyfriend would do, and Louis isn’t sure if they’re boyfriends yet.

Harry nods and takes a deep breath, biting down on his bottom lip. He read up on the procedure, it doesn’t sound like it’s going to be unbearable, but Harry’s never been a big fan of pain. Harry stays silent as the tech pulls out the needle, smiling up at him.

“Okay, 1… 2… 3,” She mutters, slowly pushing the needle into Harry’s skin as soon as she hits 3.

Harry winces, whimpering under his breath. Without thinking, he immediately reaches for Louis’s hand.

Louis latches on, rubbing his thumb over Harry’s white knuckles. Louis glances over at the tech, not sure how to make this better for Harry. The tech smiles to herself, pushing the needle further.

‘Distract him,’ The tech mouths, watching as Louis slowly catches on. He looks back over at Harry, whose face is still scrunched up in pain. “Hey, why don’t you tell her how much you’ve been traveling lately? Tell her about some of the pictures you’ve taken,” Louis urges, keeping his voice soft.

Harry nods, his eyes still shut. “Um, y-yeah. ‘Ve been traveling with Lou, while he plays football. I haven’t been able to take a lot because—ow— uh, because I’ve been on bed-rest, but ‘m off now,” He explains, trying his best to compose an actual sentence with a needle poking his belly.

The tech drops her eyes to the needle, a slow frown forming on her face. “Have you been flying?” She asks, turning to look at the screen. The baby is moving around, the slow sound of the heartbeat filling the room.

Harry slowly nods, feeling as Louis squeezes his hand. “Yes, that’s how the team travels. I hated it at first, but now I don’t mind,” Harry says.

Louis smiles to himself, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Harry’s hand. He’s being such a trooper, even about flying. Harry always tries his best at everything he does, even if he’s nervous.

The tech is silent for a while, before slowly sliding the needle out. She applies a gauze to Harry’s belly, gently wiping it off where the blood formed. “You shouldn’t be flying, especially not several times a week,” She scolds, pulling away from the table.

Harry furrows his eyebrows, sitting up slowly. He’s heard of doctors telling pregnant people not to fly in their last month, but never when they’re only 5 months along. No one told Harry he shouldn’t be flying, how was he supposed to know?

“No one told me, I’m sorry,”

“It’s alright, Harry. Must’ve been a miscommunication on my part. You’re a high-risk pregnancy, flying several times a week poses several threats, one being that you’re too far away from me to receive proper care. If there happened to be an emergency, I couldn’t get to you fast.” She explains.

Louis sits up straighter, darting his eyes between the tech and Harry. He never thought of it that way. Harry’s already had complications during the pregnancy, flying and being away from his doctor could make it worse.

But what’s going to happen if he can’t fly? Louis can’t leave him alone the 4 days out of the week, what if something happens while he’s gone? What if Harry needs him? Harry doesn’t want to move back in with his mum, so that’s not an option. Football season doesn’t end until the end of May, Harry will have a two-month-old by then.

“So I can’t fly anymore?” Harry asks, his voice meek.

“It’s not wise, Harry. You’d be putting your pregnancy at risk,” She answers.

Harry slowly nods, not daring to look at Louis. What does this mean? If Harry can’t fly, Harry can’t travel with Louis anymore. Harry will be back to being alone constantly, Louis will be back to worrying about how Harry is doing.

The tech turns the monitor off, wiping the gel off and lowering Harry’s shirt. “I’ll call you with the results on Wednesday. Try to take it easy today, don’t do any strenuous activity,” She instructs. Harry politely thanks her, watching her walk out of the room.

Once the two are alone, Harry fully sits up on the table. He finally looks at Louis, who looks like he’s just been hit by a truck. Louis is leaning back in his seat, running his fingers through his hair.

“What are we going to do?” Harry asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

Louis tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, slowly shaking his head. He has no idea what to do. His heart is torn in two different directions: Football and Harry. If he leaves Harry alone, something bad could happen to him. Louis wouldn’t be there to help him anymore and he’d be too far away to get to him quickly if anything were to happen. Last time Harry was alone, he almost lost the baby.

But if Harry can’t fly, he can’t travel with Louis, which means Louis can’t travel.

Which means Louis can’t play football.

No, Louis won’t think about that.

“We’ll think about it, we have until Wednesday morning before I fly out. All you need to worry about is getting plenty of rest today,” Louis says, helping Harry off of the table. Harry latches on to his arm, tears filling his eyes.

He never wanted to be the reason Louis couldn’t do what he loves. He never wanted to hold Louis back, even if it meant letting Louis stray further from him. But now he knows Louis will have to pick between his football career and Harry.

Harry doesn’t want it to be that way, but it has to be. Either way, Louis’s not going to be happy. He’s not going to be happy without football and he’s not going to be happy without Harry.

It just comes down to which one he’d rather be without.

And the scary thing is, Louis doesn’t know which one that is. Football is his life, it always has been. Louis’s worked incredibly hard to get where he is today, he isn’t sure if he’s ready to give it all up. And sure, he can always take the rest of the season off, but what if that gets him blacklisted from football?

And what happens after Louis’s spent months and months with Harry and the child, only to return to football at the start of September? How is Louis supposed to readjust to traveling and leaving them both alone?

But Louis doesn’t want to think about not having Harry in his life. He finally got him how he always wanted to have him, he can’t let that go this soon.

And if anything ever happened to Harry and the baby because Louis wasn’t around, he isn’t sure he could ever forgive himself for it.

Would Harry even be able to forgive Louis?


	41. Chapter 41: Morbi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Fallen So Young/ Declan J Donovan 
> 
> \- Only Everything (Acoustic)/ Quinn Lewis

Chapter 41: Morbi

Louis gently places a blanket over Harry’s sleeping body, smoothing his cold hand over Harry’s forehead. He tucks a fallen curl behind his ear, while the rest of Harry’s hair is pulled into a bun. They’ve been home for less than an hour and Harry’s already asleep on the soft couch. Louis reckons it’s a good thing, it’s the only way he’ll convince Harry to stay in bed all day.

Louis sits on the edge of the couch, sighing as he rubs a thumb over Harry’s puffy cheek. He has no idea what he’s going to do. He thought about it the whole ride home, hoping some sort of sign would jump right out n front of him and tell him what to do. He knows what he _should_ do, he just can’t quite get over what he _wants_ to do.

Louis wants to continue playing football for the rest of the season, proving everyone who said his career was over wrong. He wants to be there to help the team pull off another win. Louis’s keeping up with the game today, Niall is doing a great job of hyping the team up. Louis glances at the TV, watching as Niall dribbles the ball between his feet.

It makes him miss it even more.

But then he looks back at Harry, who’s sleeping so peacefully knowing he’s safe with Louis. Harry seems as if he doesn’t have a care in the world, it’s so much different than how he was when Louis was on the road away from him. Louis has a responsibility. Even though the child isn’t his, he’s committed to helping Harry. They finally just started giving in to each other, Louis can’t leave now.

Louis shakes his head, standing up from the couch. He makes his way to the kitchen, hoping to prepare himself some tea. He has to calm down, he can’t be stressed after today. He has to fly out Wednesday, he needs to be completely focused on the game.

He doesn’t know how he’ll manage that.

Not long after Louis prepares the tea, Harry trudges in the kitchen, the blanket wrapped around his drooping shoulders. “Can I have some?” Harry asks, his voice still laced with sleep. Louis takes a sip from his mug, his eyes peering out over the top.

“Don’t have decaf, love,”

Harry pouts, his feet padding over to Louis’s side. He nuzzles in his side, filling Louis’s nostrils with the smell of vanilla. “Just a sip,” Harry pleads, causing Louis to fight back a smile. Harry knows he’s never been good at telling him no.

Louis carefully hands the hot mug to Harry, watching as he smiles to himself. Harry takes a small sip, handing the mug back to Louis. Louis places the mug on the counter, leaning his back against it as well.

“You’re supposed to be in bed,” Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Harry’s cheeks heat up, pulling the blanket tighter around him. “Walking 5 feet is not going to cause me to have a miscarriage, Lou. You worry too much,” Harry mutters, letting silence fall over the pair as soon as he’s done. Louis knows he’s thinking about what to say, Louis wishes he could help him out.

Things are different now. Are they boyfriends? Are they dating? Are they still just friends who like to kiss? Is Louis going to pick football? Is Louis going to pick Harry?

Harry is the first to break the silence, leaning against the kitchen island. Harry drops a hand to his stomach, clearing his throat. “You have to go back, you know that, right?”

Louis furrows his eyebrows, keeping his arms crossed. That’s not what he expected Harry to say. He isn’t sure what he expected Harry to say, but he thought it would be something along the lines of “Don’t go,”.

“You want me to leave?”

Harry shakes his head, dropping his eyes to his bare feet on the tile. “No, I don’t want you to leave. I want to be selfish, I want to tell you to stay. But I can’t, Lou. I know how much football means to you, I can’t ask you to give it up, especially when none of this is your fault. You’re not the one that got me pregnant, you’re not the one that was stupid enough to fall down the stairs and cause a threatened miscarriage,”

Louis frowns, pushing himself off of the counter. He presses his body against Harry’s, his cold hands going to Harry’s jaw. He gently rubs his thumbs over his cheekbones, keeping his eyes on Harry’s. “Hey, I know it’s not my baby, but it’s your baby. That’s my niece in there, right?” Louis asks, chuckling quietly to lighten the mood. Harry smiles, bringing his eyes back up to Louis.

“We don’t have to decide anything right now, we have the rest of the day today and tomorrow.” Louis finishes.

Harry slowly nods, taking a deep breath. “‘Ve been thinking, maybe I can go to mum’s. I-I haven’t seen her in a while, she’s been bugging me about visiting,” Harry says.

Louis knows he doesn’t want to go, he wants to have his freedom, but Louis isn’t going to turn down an opportunity to buy himself even more time to think about his decision. “You’d really do that? I’ll be back Saturday, I’ll even drop you off Tuesday,”

Harry can’t help but be a little sad about how excited Louis seems. Harry knows it has nothing to do with him, he knows Louis loves him and wants to stay home, but it still hurts. Harry could never ask Louis to stay back, to give up his own dream for Harry’s mistakes, but god, he wants to.

He wants to more than anything else in the world. He wants to spend the rest of his days waking up with Louis in bed, painting the nursery, arguing about if it’s the same color, sneaking sips of tea behind Louis’s back.

He doesn’t want to be hours and hours away from Louis. He doesn’t want to have to see Louis partying without him or traveling without him. He doesn’t want to be left alone, afraid of what happened the last time. He’s 23 years old, he should be perfectly fine with staying alone.

But he’s not, because he doesn’t think he’ll be alright unless Louis stays with him.

What does that say about their new relationship? Harry doesn’t even know where the pair stand, what they’re considered to be. If Louis leaves now, is he picking football over the relationship?

“H? You there?” Louis asks, waving a hand in front of Harry’s face. Harry slowly blinks back to life, focusing his gaze on the confused face in front of him.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll call mum tonight and tell her,” Harry says, forcing a smile on his face. Louis smiles to himself, quickly leaning down and pressing a kiss to Harry’s waiting lips.

He nudges his cold nose against Harry’s, not quite ready to pull his lips away. Now that they’ve started kissing each other, Louis doesn’t want to stop. He doesn’t know how he’s going to go 4 days without kissing him, but he knows it’ll be even better when he’s finally back.

Harry flutters his eyes closed, moving his hands from his belly to Louis’s arms, pulling him closer. The kiss is slow, it’s gentle, but it’s hungry for more. Louis’s slotted his leg between Harry’s legs, shoving them apart. Harry moans quietly as Louis’s hips slowly rock forward, searching for any sort of friction.

Louis’s been trapped in the house (or a hotel room) with a pregnant man for a month, he hasn’t had a hook-up in 4 months, he’s going crazy. He hasn’t been able to get his mind off of Harry and what it would be like to have him the way Louis has wanted him for so long. Every time Harry whimpers in his sleep, wears his tight little shorts around the house, or even just smiles, Louis is a horny mess.

Louis catches himself practically humping Harry’s leg, forcing himself to pull away.

Boundaries, Louis, boundaries.

Even though things are different now, Harry is still pregnant, things are still new.

Harry blushes, glancing down at Louis’s pants. He clears his throat, bringing his hand up to push a stray curl away from his forehead.

It’s always so weird going from lifelong best friends to lovers. What is acceptable and what isn’t? They grew up together, how are they expected to have sex? Harry definitely wants it to happen, but he’s huge! He’s pregnant and swollen and he’s so, so tired.

“Uh, I’m gonna get in the shower,” Louis announces, pulling away before Harry can say anything in response.

Louis makes his way upstairs to his bathroom, shaking his head the whole time. He can’t believe he just did that! How embarrassing! Harry’s his best friend (or is he his boyfriend now?) and he practically humped his leg. He’s that desperate for something, it’s ridiculous.

Louis turns the faucet to the left, as cold as it can get. Louis quickly strips his clothes, preparing himself for his cold shower. It’s been a long time since he’s had to take a cold shower to calm himself down, normally he just finds someone to take his frustration out on, but he can’t. It’s Harry, it’s his best friend.

Louis steps into the shower, closing his eyes and wincing in pain as the cold water hits his shoulder and surrounds him like ice. He wishes Harry was in the shower with him, he’d warm him up good. Louis just knows Harry would wrap around him, pressing kisses to his face as the water warms up. Louis’s hand snakes down to his cock, immediately wrapping around himself.

So that plan backfired.

He didn’t want to jerk off to his pregnant best friend, but it looks like that’s where this is going.

Louis throws his head back, pressing his back against the cold wall. He slowly teases himself, swiping his thumb over his leaky tip. Louis bucks his hips up, fucking into his fist. He bites down on his lip, trying to muffle the sound. He’s hoping the water drowns out the noise, because if not, Harry’s getting quite the show downstairs.

Louis tightens his fist, feeling the pressure build up in the bottom of his spine. He’s so close, he can feel it. Louis just needs something to push him off the edge, to send him in a downward spiral. Louis squeezes his eyes shut, Harry’s face flashing through his mind.

_Harry’s on his hands and knees, his perfect ass on display as Louis kneels on the bed. Louis runs a small hand down Harry’s back, watching him arch his back. “Yeah, you want it that bad, huh?” Louis mumbles, leaning forward and placing a gentle bite on Harry’s right shoulder blade._

_Harry moans, nodding his head. “Y-Yes, please.” Harry urges, dropping his forehead to the mattress beneath them. Louis smirks, digging his fingers into Harry’s ass, spreading him open and putting him on display. Louis slowly drops his head to Harry’s ass, his tongue immediately finding the puckered hole._

_Harry moans louder this time, arching his back even more, pressing his ass against Louis’s face. Louis continues his assault, licking around and around, but never fully giving Harry what he wants._

_What he needs._

Louis shoots his eyes open, feeling as his load shoots out into the wet floor. The water quickly washes it down the drain, leaving absolutely no trace of what just took place in the shower.

“Lou? You alright in there? You’ve been in there a while,” Harry shouts from the other side of the door. Louis ducks his head under the water, letting the water wash away the thoughts of Harry begging for him.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EXCITING THINGS COMING IN THE NEXT CHAPTERS!! 
> 
> I'm so, so exited as we near the end of this fic. It's still several chapter away, but I have the end in mind! 
> 
> ALSO
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Only_theangel, and answer the poll on my twitter, please! I really enjoy your feedback and opinions and I definitely need your help on this!


	42. Chapter 42: Mater

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Crashing/ Illenium (Ft. Bahari)
> 
> \- Ho Hey/ The Lumineers

Chapter 42: Mater

November 23

“Lou! It’s so good to see you, darling,” Anne exclaims, pulling Louis in for a swift hug. Louis smiles, giving her back a gentle rub before he pulls away. “I wish I could stay longer,” He says, glancing over to the door, where Harry’s carrying his bags in.

“Hey, I told you I would do that for you!” Louis says, furrowing his eyebrows. He doesn’t want Harry to have to do anything, especially not after his procedure. They’ll hear the results tomorrow, both of them have been waiting anxiously by the phone. Deep down, both of them know that their baby is perfectly healthy, but there’s always a possibility.

Harry rolls his eyes, placing the bag on the floor. “You were taking too long,” He grunts.

Anne smiles, taking a couple of steps toward her baby boy. She squishes his cheeks between her hands, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. “It’s about time you come to see me! I’ve been dying to see that belly since you told me you were pregnant,” She says, her hands dropping to his belly.

She presses into the skin, a smile forming on her face. “Has she kicked yet?”

Harry turns to Louis, nodding down to his belly. Louis smiles knowingly, dropping to one knee on the floor. “Alright, missy, you gonna kick for your Nan?” Louis asks, leaning forward and gently rubbing Harry’s swollen belly. As if on cue, a little tiny foot kicks the skin, connecting with Anne’s hand.

Anne smiles, her eyes immediately filling with tears. She brings her eyes up to Harry’s face, fighting back the tears. “You two are going to be great parents. It’s such a shame Luke didn’t want to be involved.” Anne says.

Louis awkwardly clears his throat, standing up again.

Parents?

What’s up with everyone thinking Louis is going to be a father to this child?

Harry presses his lips together in a tight line, resting his tired arms on his stomach. “Mum, can we not talk about him?”

Anne glances between Louis and Harry, her smile dropping. “Of course, how silly of me.”

Louis makes his way over to the other bags, gathering them up in his hands and carrying them to Harry’s childhood bedroom. He knows this house like the back of his hand. He’s spent countless nights and summers here, sneaking cookies before dinner and keeping Anne up with their giggles. If he had to, he could point out the exact spot where Harry always used to hide when they would play hide and seek together as children.

Louis places the bags on the bed, allowing his eyes to stop on a picture of the boys on the nightstand. Louis runs his finger over the glass, brushing away any trace of dust.

Is he doing the right thing by dropping Harry off at his mum’s?

Despite the countless times Harry has told Louis it’s alright, Louis doesn’t feel any better about it than if he was simply abandoning Harry.

Louis doesn’t feel any better than Luke.

“Who would’ve thought we’d be where we are now?” Harry asks, leaning against the frame of his door. His curls are falling around his face, slowly reaching his shoulders now. His hair has grown quite a lot since he’s gotten pregnant, meaning he can put his hair in a full bun now. Louis didn’t think he’d like it, but he quite likes the way Harry’s hair falls down on his shoulders.

Louis smiles to himself, placing the frame back in its place. “I didn’t, that’s for sure. I thought you’d get sick of listening to me go on and on about football,” Louis teases, turning to face Harry. Harry smiles, pushing himself off the doorframe and making his way over to Louis. He takes a deep breath, signaling that he has something to say, but he doesn’t want to say it.

Louis reaches up and pushes a hair away from Harry’s face, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s going on?” He asks, his voice soft.

Harry quickly shakes his head, tearing his eyes away from Louis’s. “Nothing, just… thinking,”

Louis frowns, sitting on the edge of the bed. He places his hands on Harry’s waist, pulling him closer and slotting him between his legs. “You’re a shit liar, H. What’s really going on?”

Harry smiles softly, dropping his eyes to the space between them. “This is the first time we’re going to be apart since…” Harry mutters, not having to go any further to explain what he means. Louis knows exactly what he means.

This is the first time they’ll be apart since they decided to cross the line between friendship and relationship.

Harry glances back up at Harry, his smile fading. “Just gonna miss you, ’s all,”

It’s Louis’s turn to smile, rubbing his thumb gently on Harry’s waist. “You didn’t miss me before I kissed you?” Louis teases, watching as Harry laughs quietly.

“You know what I mean, Lou,”

Louis purses his lips for a moment, trying to find anything to make Harry feel better. He doesn’t want Harry to worry about being away from him, he wants him to genuinely enjoy being with his mum. Harry’s already stressed about the results of the test, he doesn’t need to be stressed about anything else.

“Will it help you if I finally put a label on what this is?”

Harry’s eyes widen, his cheeks reddening. He’s never pressed Louis to put a label on their relationship, he didn’t want to push him. Harry knows Louis’s never been one for relationships, Harry doesn’t think Louis’s ever had a relationship.

Harry shakes his head, “Louis, I don’t want you to feel like you have to,”

Louis smiles, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth. Louis’s never wanted to call anyone his boyfriend, he actually always found the term to be childish and unnecessary. But he knows how much Harry loves the term, he finds it endearing.

“I’d be honored to call you my boyfriend,” Louis says, watching as a genuine smile forms on Harry’s face. Harry dips his head down, lowering to Louis’s waiting strained neck, their lips meeting in the middle.

The kiss is brief, despite both boys wanting to carry on. It’s almost 9 pm, Louis has a two-hour drive before he can get in bed for his early flight tomorrow. Harry tried to put off the departure for as long as he could, before Louis finally caught on and insisted that Harry get in the car.

“Promise to call me as soon as you get the results, yeah? My game isn’t until 2 tomorrow,” Louis says, his hands instantly finding Harry’s bump. Without any thought behind the action, he presses a soft kiss to the warm skin.

“And I’ll see you 4 days,” He mutters, standing up. Harry pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What about me?”

Louis chuckles, shaking his head. “I just gave you a kiss. You gettin’ greedy on me?” Louis teases, watching as Harry blushes.

“One more won’t hurt,” He argues.

“Right, but then one more turns into two more, three more… Then, before I know it, you’ve convinced me to stay,”

Harry’s heart flutters at the possibility of Louis staying. It’s hard watching Louis leave, especially when Harry knows there’s a possibility of everything changing when he comes back. What if Louis comes back and decides that he doesn’t want to be with Harry anymore? What if he changes his mind and says he can’t handle having a boyfriend who can’t travel with him?

Harry pushes the thought away, not wanting to be that kind of boyfriend. He’s proud of Louis, he’d never hold him back.

Never.

-

“Mum, she’s not going to kick. She only does it when Lou’s around,” Harry groans, throwing his head back against the couch. Anne has been poking his belly, feeding him snacks, and shining a flashlight on his belly for the past 30 minutes, all in hopes of feeling the baby kick again.

Anne pouts, sitting in front of Harry’s legs on the floor. “That’s not fair, I want to feel her kick again.” She says, frowning.

Harry laughs quietly, rubbing a gentle hand on his belly. “Poppet’s just stubborn, like her da-“

Harry stops himself before he can go any further.

Why would he say that?

Harry just referred to Louis as his child’s dad.

Harry’s cheeks heat up, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He clears his throat, avoiding his mother’s gaze. “Uncle. Stubborn like her uncle.”

Anne slowly stands up from the floor, shooting Harry a questionable gaze. “Harry Edward Styles, is there something you need to tell me?”

Harry sits up at the use of his full name, becoming increasingly nervous. He came clean about Luke, that’s not what he’s nervous about.

No, he’s nervous to admit to his mother that he’s slowly started referring to Louis as his child’s father without even trying.

He can’t help it, it just happened! Louis’s the one that’s always touching his belly, getting the baby to kick, carrying the ultrasound scans around in his wallet, and making sure Harry steers clear of sushi and too much caffeine.

He’s doing everything that a father would do, it’s only natural that Harry’s head is fogged with confusion.

It would be different if the child’s father was helping out and present, but he’s not. And Harry’s thankful for that, he’s glad he hasn’t had to deal with Luke any more than he did.

“Are you still seeing that gormless lawyer?” Anne accuses, crossing her arms over her chest.

Harry shakes his head, sighing. “No, I’m not. I… I meant Louis,”

Anne’s eyes widen, moving to sit next to Harry on the couch. “I was afraid the whole situation would mess with your head,”

Harry runs his hands over his face, trying to wipe away any memory of what just happened. He can’t allow himself to feel this way. How would Louis feel about this?

Louis must know that he’s going to be the step-dad. If him and Harry are dating now, that means Louis is going to be raising the child with Harry.

Has he even thought that far ahead?

Harry doesn’t want to start calling him ‘dad’ or ‘daddy’ if Louis is uncomfortable with it. He doesn’t want to scare him off.

But he must know that he’s already performing some of the tasks of a father.

Right?

Or is he completely clueless?

“I can’t help it, mum. Louis’s great, he’s already the best dad without even knowing he is.” Harry says, peeking out between his fingers to look at his mum.

Harry hasn’t openly said that the two are dating now, but his mum must’ve gotten the hint between Louis constantly having his hands on Harry’s belly and Harry constantly snuggling into Louis’s side when he was dropping him off.

“Oh, honey, it’s not your fault. If Louis is serious about you, he has to consider that he’s going to be a father now. Biological or not, he’s still going to be a father to your daughter. Have you talked about it?” Anne asks, her voice soft. She’s slowly pushing Harry’s hair off of his forehead, stroking the skin there to calm Harry down.

Harry shakes his head, struggling to fight back tears. He’s wanted to talk to Louis about this for a while, but he’s scared to. Louis already has so much to consider, Harry doesn’t want to be the final straw to push him over the edge.

Anne sighs, pulling Harry into her side. She wraps her arms around him, placing a kiss to his head.

“Louis’s a smart boy, he has to have some idea of what’s going on in your head. It might even be going through his head, too, you never know. I wouldn’t worry another second about it, you have enough to worry about.” Anne comforts him.

Harry slowly nods, resting his head on his mum’s shoulder. “Mum, what if he doesn’t come back?” Harry asks, his voice small and broken.

He hasn’t allowed himself to think much about the possibility of Louis choosing football over him, but he has to acknowledge that it is a possibility. Louis might play the game Wednesday and decide that he could never give up football, not even for 6 months.

If Louis doesn’t come back, Harry will be forced to move back in with his mum, two hours away from Louis. How will they be expected to have a relationship when they’re so far away from each other, even when Louis is home?

Anne sighs, her own throat tightening at the possibility. She knows Louis, she knows how much he loves football. She’s watched him play from the age of 6-25, she knows there’s a huge chance Louis will never give up football.

But she can’t tell her son that.

Anne forces a smile, resting her head on top of Harry’s. “He’ll come back,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have one more update today, one tomorrow, and maybe one Tuesday/Wednesday! 
> 
> To everyone who voted on my poll, thank you ! I definitely wanted to get a feel of what my readers were comfortable with before making a decision :)


	43. Chapter 43: Gōdspel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Finally/ James Arthur
> 
> \- Re: Stacks/ Bon Iver

Chapter 43: Gōdspel

November 24

“I have not missed your attitude after a flight,” Niall grumbles, placing his bags on the floor in front of the hotel bed. Louis rolls his eyes, doing the same.

The flight was only 30 minutes, but Louis isn’t grumpy because of the flight.

He's grumpy because this is the first time he’s traveled without Harry since October. He’s also grumpy because he wasn’t able to sleep last night, too worried about what the results of the amniocentesis would be.

It’s 8 am, meaning the doctor's office still has an hour before they can call.

Louis sits on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, alright? I’ve got a lot going on,” He mumbles, watching as Niall sits on the other bed. Niall stares in silence for a moment, furrowing his eyebrows.

He hasn’t seen his best friend in four days, he’s ready to tear the pubs down, not sulk in his hotel room with Louis.

“What’s going on?” Niall asks, already having a good idea of what it could be. Lately, any time Louis is grumpy, it involves Harry. Niall doesn’t understand what the issue is, if you love someone, just be with them! Simple as that.

“Harry can’t travel with the team anymore,”

Niall shrugs his shoulders, relaxing his eyebrows. “Yeah, but that’s just for a couple of days after the procedure, right?”

Niall knows more about the procedure than he ever cares to know. Louis called him for days straight worrying about the amniocentesis, so much that Niall considered blocking Louis for the time being.

“No, for the rest of his pregnancy,” Louis says, his voice quiet.

Niall’s eyes widen, raising his eyebrows. “That won’t be until March! The season will be almost over by then,”

Louis nods, frowning. “I know. I don’t know what to do, Ni. I can’t just leave him to deal with this alone, he’s already got a high-risk pregnancy. He could lose the baby if I’m not around to help him out,” Louis explains, dropping his head to his hands.

He’s been thinking about this all night and he hasn’t made a decision. It feels good to be with the team and to be back with Niall, but he can’t fully enjoy it because he feels guilty. He knows Harry was awake all night last night alone, worrying about the results.

He knows Harry is sitting by the phone even now, so, so exhausted but so worried.

Louis should be there. He’s been a part of this pregnancy since day one, he should be there right now.

But his heart is torn in two different places and he can’t tell which one hurts the most.

Niall sighs, standing up and coming over to the bed that Louis’s sat on. He sits next to Louis, draping his arm around Louis’s shoulder. “Louis, this baby isn’t yours. It’s not your responsibility to step up and be the father. You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be. You decide the boundaries here. You know that, right?”

Louis snaps his head up, his eyes landing on Niall. “That’s the problem, Niall. I know I could step back and Harry wouldn’t give me any shit for it. But… I don’t want to step back. Sitting here right now, I wish I was there.”

Niall stays silent for another moment, pursing his lips. “And do you feel that way when you’re with him? Like you’d rather be here?”

Louis drops his head back to his hands, pinching the bridge of his nose. He wishes someone would just tell him what to do. Should he follow his dreams or give everything up for love?

He knows Harry would stay with him if he continued playing football, but Louis isn’t sure that Harry would be happy. Harry’s always been open about raising kids and not having a broken home. Louis knows all too well about broken homes and the trauma they bring onto children.

You can have a broken home even if your parents are still together.

Louis would be gone constantly, leaving Harry to deal with everything that being a mum entails.

Louis thinks back to when he told Harry goodbye. He didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay back and spend the weekend at Anne’s, watching her fond over Harry’s belly and her first grandchild. Not for a second did Louis miss being with his team.

But Louis does miss his team when he’s watching the games or when he’s spending his days doing laundry or running errands.

He enjoys his glamorous life, he enjoys everything that it comes with. He misses the feeling of winning a game and having everyone congratulate him, everyone trying to get a piece of him. He misses staying out late with Niall, getting so drunk that neither of them knows when their next game is.

“I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. I feel like no matter where I am, part of me is always missing something. If I’m with Harry, I miss football. If I’m with the team, I miss Harry. Why can’t I just have both?”

“And do you think Harry’s missing you right now?” Niall asks, his voice gentle.

Louis quickly wipes a stray tear, lifting his head. He slowly nods, glancing at the blank screen next to him. Harry still hasn’t said anything this morning, he must be too worried about the results to send a good morning text.

“More than anything,”

Niall smiles softly, clapping Louis on the back. “Come on, Lou, I know you. You’d rather hurt yourself a million times over than to hurt Harry even just once. This shouldn’t be a hard decision,”

Louis glances over at Niall once more, a small smile forming on his lips. He knows Niall is right, this decision should come easily to him. But it’s not, which makes him feel like shit even more.

Before Louis can respond, his phone is buzzing next to him. Without giving himself a second to prepare, Louis answers the phone.

“Hey,” Harry says, leaning against the kitchen counter. His mum is sitting at the table, a mug full of tea warming her hands. As usual, it’s raining outside, adding a melancholy feeling to the day.

“How are you?” Louis asks.

Harry smiles into the phone, trapping it against his shoulder and his head as he prepares himself breakfast. “I had a rough night, but I’m feeling better now,”

The line is silent as Louis furrows his eyebrows. Does that mean Harry knows the results?

Louis glances at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It’s only 8:30. The office doesn’t open for another 30 minutes, how would he already know?

“Wait, do you know something?” Louis asks, causing Harry to fight back a smile.

After being up all night last night, he spent the morning crying to his mum because he was so nervous. After an hour of that, Anne insisted that Harry call his doctor directly instead of waiting on the office to call him. Harry’s never been more thankful to have a high-risk pregnancy. The doctor gave him his direct number in case of emergencies and the office wasn’t open, but Harry classifies this as an emergency.

He couldn’t handle another second not knowing if his child is okay.

“She’s perfect, Lou,” Harry says, his voice breaking. He wishes Louis was here to celebrate, but over the phone will have to do for now. They’ll celebrate when Louis comes home.

If he comes home.

Louis lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, a smile instantly forming on his face. Louis chuckles, glancing over at Niall. “That’s great, H.”

Niall smiles, quickly changing into his football uniform. They’ve got to be at practice in 30 minutes, preparing for today’s game.

Harry smiles, resting his hand on his growing belly. “I haven’t felt her kick today, do you care to FaceTime me before you go to practice?”

Louis instantly switches from a phone call to FaceTime, motioning for Niall to join him. Niall slides the uniform over his head, sitting next to Louis.

“You just get better looking every time I see you, Harry,” Niall flirts, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

“You’re just trying to butter me up so I’ll tell Louis to keep playing football,” Harry catches on, lowering the phone to his belly, lifting his shirt up.

As soon as Louis sees the belly, a wave of sadness crashes over him. He should be there. He shouldn’t be here. It hasn’t even been 24 hours since he last saw Harry and the bump, but he misses both of them tremendously.

“Poppet? You in there?” Louis asks, causing Harry to giggle softly. Just like every time, a small foot makes an appearance under Harry’s skin, immediately comforting him. It’s always a relief to feel your baby kick, just to know that everything is okay in there.

Niall smiles, his eyes widening. “That’s sick! Is that normal?” He asks, looking over at Louis. Louis smiles and nods, feeling a sense of pride as he gets the chance to talk about his child.

His child.

Child.

His.

His child???

Louis ignores the thought, forcing a smile. “Uh yeah, I think she’ll be a great kicker,” He says, his voice slightly quieter than it was before.

Harry smiles, lifting the phone up to his face. “Please be careful at practice, love. Only want you coming home healthy,”

Louis blushes, quickly saying goodbye. As soon as he hangs up, he can feel Niall’s eyes burning a hole through him.

“ _Love_?”

Louis tries to feign annoyance, rolling his eyes. “Oh, please, don’t act so shocked. You knew it was going to happen,” He says, digging through his bag. He finds his uniform, feeling as if it’s been ages since he put it on.

_How has it only been 4 days?_

Niall smiles, shaking his head. “You cheeky little thing, finally getting a boyfriend and not telling your best mate about it,”

Louis smiles, quickly changing into his uniform. He isn’t sure how the other players will react to him being back. By fighting with Elkan, Louis disqualified himself for a game, meaning he put the team in a vulnerable position. Every good football player knows that even when you’re just missing one player, it makes it hard to make up for it.

Sure, you can sub for the missing player, but nobody can replace Louis. Luckily, they were able to win by the skin of their teeth, making Louis feel slightly better.

Louis wonders how Coach Moore is going to react to him. Louis hasn’t been returning any of his calls or texts, too ashamed of what he did. He’s a professional, he shouldn’t have acted like that, no matter what Elkan said. Louis knows it made the team look bad, and he’d take it back if he could.

Louis glances at himself in the mirror, smoothing his hands over his uniform.

He’s different.

Not physically. No, physically he looks the same as he always has. He has the same brown hair sticking to his forehead, the uniform still fits him the same, and the numbers on his jersey are the same.

Louis can’t pinpoint what exactly is different about him, but he knows it’s there. In the past 4 days, Louis’s grown. He feels as if he’s a completely different person than he was before he got suspended.

Everything is the same, but everything is different.

Louis runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes examining himself.

Louis knows it isn’t the uniform that’s different, it’s him.

Louis isn’t the same 25-year-old whose main priority was leading his team to greatness. He isn’t the same 25-year-old who was scared of relationships and unworthy of love.

No, Louis’s someone else entirely.

Louis is in love with his best friend. Louis is dating his best friend. Louis is a father, biological or not.

Louis glances in the mirror one last time, now understanding that what’s different is not him, it’s his time here. His time here with the team is not to lead them to a winning season, it’s to tell the team that his time here is over.

At least for now.

Niall smiles, watching Louis in the mirror. Niall walks up behind him, clapping him on the shoulder. “Alright, Tommo. Let’s get your last game of the season over with,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter physically hurt me 
> 
> IF YOU DON'T HAVE ME ON TWITTER:
> 
> I posted this on my twitter but thought I would add it here as well!
> 
> There are AT LEAST 16 chapters left (not including this one). There will probably be more (depending on how much I can fit into one chapter), but I've done an outline of everything I want to happen in the rest of the fic, and I think it'll take around 16 chapters to finsih it up. This will probably take me around a month to finish, but I do have another fic in mind after finishing this one!


	44. Chapter 44: Abire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- The same/ Ashe
> 
> \- Beginning Middle End/ Leah Nobel

Chapter 44: Abire

After 3 hours of practice, 2 hours of rest before the match, and an almost 2 hour long match, Louis is exhausted. He isn’t sure if he’s exhausted because of the physical activity or if it’s because of the pure adrenaline that’s running through his body.

Louis is on his way to the locker room to get changed before he confronts Coach Moore.

Louis has made his decision.

He’s going home.

Louis throws the towel around his neck, pressing it into the skin. He groans as the towel soaks up the sweat. Niall is walking beside him, neither one saying anything.

Niall knew before Louis did. Niall knew the moment Louis was staring in the mirror. Just like Louis, Niall could tell something had changed.

Niall opens the door to the locker room, the rest of the team standing at attention as the captain congratulates them on their win. Coach Moore is standing in the corner, his arms crossed over his chest. Louis makes his way to his locker, running the towel over his wet hair. He wishes he had time for a shower, but he can’t take waiting anymore.

He has to get this over with.

Once Louis gets dressed and places his things in his bag, he makes his way to Coach Moore. His eyes graze over the tall man, his heart beating faster than it has the whole day. “Coach, can I talk to you?” Louis asks, his voice weaker than he’d like for it to be.

Coach uncrosses his arms, a concerned look washing over his face. “Of course, Louis. What’s up?”

Louis glances around the room, bringing his hand to the back of his neck, aimlessly scratching the skin there. “Actually, can we go outside?”

Louis doesn’t want to have this conversation in front of the whole team, he wants to give Coach a chance to figure things out before the news is broken to the team.

The pair walk outside, Louis taking this time to focus on his breathing. He’s never quit anything in his life, especially not mid-season. He doesn’t even know if he can, with the contracts he signed each season. He’ll do whatever he has to do, he has to go home to Harry.

“Is everything alright?” Coach Moore asks as soon as they’re out of the locker room.

Louis takes a deep breath, forcing a soft smile. “Coach, I uh… I think my team here this season is over,” Louis announces.

Coach Moore shifts in his stance, his eyebrows furrowing at the unexpected news. “You’re quitting? Now? In the middle of the season?”

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his stringy hair. “I know it looks bad, but I have to, Coach. It’s my best friend, he’s pregnant and he can’t do this alone. I have a responsibility at home,”

“And you have a responsibility here. You signed a contract at the beginning of the season, you have to see the season through,”

At this time, Niall exits the locker room, catching the tail-end of the conversation. He frowns, coming up beside of Coach. “Coach, you know the contract specifically states that if there’s an emergency or a family issue, a player can breach the contract. Reece did it two seasons ago, when his wife was pregnant.” Niall defends, causing Louis to relax a little.

Coach frowns, looking Louis up and down. “Your fans, your coaches… You’re going to disappoint them,”

Louis nods slowly, pursing his lips. It’s something he’s thought about the whole weekend, he knows he’s letting a lot of people down. “I know, sir. But I can handle letting down a million people, I just can’t handle letting him down,”

Coach doesn’t say anything, he just runs his hand over his bald head, breathing out a deep breath. When he doesn’t say anything, Niall smiles, reaching a hand out to Louis. “We’ll see you in July, right?”

After the season ends in May, the team has a month off to relax and spend time with their families before they start practicing again in July. Louis has every intention of playing next season, he just needs this season off to figure things out.

Louis extends his hand, wrapping his hand around Niall’s and squeezing tightly. “Absolutely,”

-

After discussing how to go about announcing his break, Louis and Coach Moore decided he would do another interview in about a week to explain that he’ll be back for the next season. Louis boarded the plane, flying for 30 minutes to reach Holmes Chapel.

He hasn’t told Harry anything, he wants to surprise him.

After the 30 minute flight, Louis takes an Uber to Harry’s house, mentally cheering when he realizes Anne’s car isn’t home. Not that he doesn’t want to see Anne, but he’d rather do this alone, with Harry.

As the Uber pulls up at Anne’s house, Louis swiftly grabs his bags, exiting the car. He takes a couple of deep breaths, slowly making his way to the house. It’s 5 pm, meaning the sun has just set and casting a warm light over the home.

Louis raises his fist to knock on the door, but before he can, the door opens. Harry is standing in the frame, his eyes wide and filled with tears.

“Louis…” Harry whispers, his voice laced with disbelief. He had heard the car pull up, not sure who was arriving in an Uber. The last person he expected it to be was Louis. Louis wasn’t supposed to come back until Saturday. It’s Wednesday, he’s not even been away from Harry for 24 hours.

Louis smiles, dropping his bags on the ground. He takes a couple of steps so that he’s face to face with Harry, his cold hands on his warm cheeks. “Harry, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be away from you. Or the baby. I… I love both of you so much, I’m in love with you, H.” Louis rushes out, barely stopping to take a breath.

Harry inhales a sharp breath, the tears escaping from his eyes.

“Football is everything to me, but you… You are something else, Harry. I don’t want to spend one moment without you. I want to be here, with our baby, with you. It’s always you, H. It always has been and it always will be.” Louis finishes, his own voice becoming weak with every passing word.

It’s everything he’s wanted to say for 19 years.

He’s finally able to say it.

Harry smiles, not sure what to say to this proclamation. So, he doesn’t say anything. He simply pulls Louis forward, crashing his lips against his. Louis stumbles in the house, not even bothering to gather his bags. He’ll come back for them later.

He shuts the door behind them, his lips never leaving Harry’s. He gets as close to Harry as he can, until the bump hits his stomach.

Harry threads his hands in Louis’s hair, running his tongue over the salty-tasting lips. Louis still hasn’t had time to shower, but Harry doesn’t care. He just needs Louis.

_He needs him he needs him he needs him_

_He needs him now._

Louis’s hands quickly find the end of Harry’s sweater, pushing it up so his skin is exposed. Louis runs his hands over the warm skin, his nose bumping with Harry’s. They’ve barely managed to make it in the house, but both of them would’ve been content with doing this outside, as long as it happened.

The pair shuffles over to the couch, Harry’s hands moving from Louis’s hair to the buttons of his jeans.

His thumbs work together to pull and tug at the button, desperate to get the jeans off.

Louis’s bottom connects with the cushion of the couch, pulling Harry down on his lap. It’s not as graceful as Louis’s would’ve liked it to be, but he thinks they’re doing pretty good for a guy who’s 5 months pregnant and a guy who’s just played a professional football game.

Harry topples on top of Louis, giggling into the kiss. Louis can’t help it, he laughs along. He pulls away, reaching up to gently push away a curl from Harry’s face. “’S this alright, love?” Louis asks, his voice soft and _safe_.

Harry’s never had anyone ask him that (or a variation of that) during a time as intimate as this one. Everyone has always just assumed Harry was okay with it and Harry was always too shy or scared to be honest about how he felt.

Harry fights back tears, nodding his head quickly. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted,”

Louis smiles at that, using this time to discard Harry’s sweater. As soon as the sweater is over Harry’s head, it’s flying across the room, landing on what seems to be Richard, judging by the angry meow that’s directed toward Louis.

Harry blushes, looking down at his belly. He must look absolutely ridiculous. 5 months pregnant about to have sex with his friend of 19 years.

This isn’t how Harry pictured this moment to happen.

Does Louis find Harry attractive? Does he like what he sees? Or is he completely disgusted by Harry’s large belly?

Louis drops his eyes to Harry’s chest, feeling as his own cheeks heat up. “You’re perfect, you know that?” He says, his voice barely above a whisper. Harry is unlike anything Louis has ever seen. He’s everything Louis thought he’d be, and somehow even more than what he thought he’d be.

Before Harry has a chance to answer, Louis’s cold hands are making their way to Harry’s sore nipples, running a thumb over them and watching them harden. Louis doesn’t know anything about pregnancy, but he does know Harry has been very open about how sore his nipples are, so he wants to make sure he’s taking care of Harry.

Louis dips his head down, his lips quickly attaching to one of Harry’s nipples. He sucks at the hardened bud, his tongue slowly tracing. Harry moans quietly, throwing his head back. Louis is being so gentle, but it feels amazing. Harry always knew Louis was good with his feet from years of watching him play football, but he had no idea his best friend had such a tongue on him.

Once Louis’s satisfied with his work on the right nipple, he focuses his attention on the other nipple, giving it the same treatment. Louis gently bites down on the nipple, tugging it between his teeth. Harry winces, digging his fingers in Louis’s shoulder. It hurts, but not enough to ruin the moment. Actually, it feels kind of nice.

Louis smiles to himself, pulling his mouth away. “Do you want me to give the other two the same treatment?” He teases, causing Harry to roll his eyes.

“No, want your mouth somewhere else,” Harry mumbles, watching as Louis shoots an eyebrow up.

“Yeah, and where’s that?”

Harry ignores the question, taking it upon himself to rid Louis of his t-shirt. He removes the shirt, flinging it so it lands on the arm of the couch. He runs his hands over Louis’s toned chest, his hands dipping with every ridge.

“As much as I love what’s going on, maybe we should take this upstairs. Don’t want your mum getting a show,” Louis jokes, watching as Harry pouts.

“She’ll be gone for hours, don’t want to wait anymore,”

Louis smiles, reaching up and brushing Harry’s hair back. “I don’t want to wait either, but I don’t want our first time being on a very tiny couch. Want to take care of you properly,”

Harry blushes at that, reluctantly getting off of Louis’s lap. Louis stands up, gathering the clothes that were strewn over the main room. He quickly apologizes to Richard, promising him cuddles tonight if he stays out of the bedroom while he and Harry are in there.

The pair go upstairs, Louis carefully walking behind Harry in case Harry decides to take another fall.

As soon as they’re in Harry’s room, they’re attached again. Louis’s pressed Harry against the door, his hands working on sliding Harry’s jogging pants down his perfect legs. He’s thankful Harry opted for sweats instead of those godforsaken skinny jeans.

He’s also thankful Harry chose to skip out on underwear today.

Louis’s hand slides down Harry’s body, stopping right above where Harry wants him. “Is this where you wanted my mouth?” Louis asks, feigning innocence.

Harry tugs his bottom lip between his teeth, eagerly nodding his head. “Please, Lou, it’s all I’ve thought about,”

Louis smiles, quickly dropping to his knees. As much as Harry’s wanted this, Louis has wanted it even more. Louis focuses his eyes on the member in front of him, his cheeks heating up. He always knew Harry was big, but he didn’t think he was this big.

Louis’s had his fair share of experience sucking guys off, but he’s suddenly nervous. This is his best friend, if he doesn’t do a good job, he’s going to have to be reminded of it everyday. This isn’t a one-night stand like Louis is used to. If Louis performs bad at a one-night stand, he can simply erase it from his memory and never think of it again.

Louis pushes away those thoughts, wrapping his hand around the red (almost purple) base. He sticks his tongue out, running it from the base to the head, smiling to himself as Harry groans above him. Louis runs his tongue over the head, giving the tip special flicks as he tastes the pre-cum leaking out.

“Holy shit, Lou. Need your mouth now,”

Louis places the head in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks as he slides further down. He doesn’t stop until he feels Harry hitting the back of his throat, signaling that he’s taken all he can take. Louis swallows around him, causing Harry to buck his hips. Harry’s hands immediately find Louis’s head, resisting the urge to push his head down.

If Louis didn’t have to talk to Anne after this, Harry wouldn’t hold back from fucking Louis’s mouth raw, making him remember this every time he swallowed or tried to talk.

Harry throws his head against the door, his jaw going slack. Louis’s mouth is absolutely unreal, it’s even better in real life than in dreams.

Harry’s eyes widen as Louis’s free hand wanders down to his balls, giving them each a gentle squeeze. Harry tries to steady his breath, knowing if he doesn’t take control, he’ll end up shooting his load down Louis’s throat.

He’ll do that someday, just not today. He doesn’t want to cum until Louis’s deep inside him, hitting each spot just right.

“Lou, I need you, please don’t make me wait anymore,” Harry says, his voice broken and weak. He’s never been one to beg, but he has to have Louis now. He can’t wait any longer.

Louis pulls away, wiping away the spit around his mouth. He stands up, nodding over to the bed. “Open yourself up for me before I get back, yeah?” Louis asks, his voice already scratchy.

Harry pouts, walking over to the bed. “Where are you going?” He asks.

Louis smiles, opening the door. “Condoms are in my bag,”

Harry sits on the bed, watching as Louis walks downstairs. Harry lays down, reaching over to the nightstand and digging through his drawer.

Thank god for Harry being a horny 16-year-old who couldn’t keep his hands off himself.

Harry finds the lube, squirting a generous dollop on his waiting fingers. It’s been a while since he’s fingered himself, it’s become increasingly hard with every passing month.

Harry spreads his legs, his hand drifting down to his puckered hole, circling around the entrance. Harry teases himself for a while before slowly dipping the tip of his finger in, wincing in pain as his body slowly adjusts. It’s been over 5 months since he had any action at all, he’ll have to open himself up a lot to take Louis.

Harry continues pushing his index finger in, pumping it a few times before pulling back out, adding another finger. The stretch and burn of adding another finger are welcomed, it means he’s doing something right.

Louis enters the room again, locking the door behind him. He’s carrying his bags, the pack of condoms between his teeth. He throws the bags on the ground, making his way over to the bed. He watches Harry work himself open, his own hands working to unbutton his jeans.

Watching Harry touch himself is the best thing Louis’s ever seen, he’s already feeling dizzy. He knows he’s not going to last long, but he doesn’t care, he just has to get inside before he explodes.

Harry whimpers as he adds a third finger, watching as Louis discards of his pants. Louis tears the foil packet open, walking to the edge of the bed. He rolls the condom on, hissing at the contact.

“Are you ready for me?” Louis asks, crawling up on the bed. Harry eagerly nods, removing his fingers. His hole is soaked and open, just how Louis wanted him.

Louis crawls on top of Harry, getting as close as he can before the bump reminds him of its presence. Harry giggles as Louis tries to position himself, nudging the head of his cock in Harry’s waiting hole.

Louis slowly edges in, stopping every couple of seconds, watching as Harry’s face screws up in pain. “Am I hurting you?” Louis asks, going to pull out. Before he can, Harry stops him.

“It’s alright, Lou. ’S just been a while,”

Louis drops his head to Harry’s neck, pushing in even further. He groans as Harry stretches around him, enveloping him better than anyone ever has.

Harry throws his arms around Louis’s neck, burying his face in his neck. Once Louis’s bottomed out, he stays still for a moment, simply enjoying the moment. This is what he’s wanted for so long, he can’t believe it’s actually happening.

Louis drops a hand to Harry’s side, squeezing the flesh there. Harry nods quickly, his eyes still shut. “You can move,”

Louis lifts his hips, drawing out slowly before pushing back in. Both boys moan, unable to contain themselves. Louis lifts his head up, resting his forehead on top of Harry’s. “Fuck, H, you feel so good,” He mutters, continuing his movements.

Harry nods, unable to say anything back. He’s not sure if he can even form a proper sentence right now and he doesn’t even want to try.

He knows Louis is holding himself back, not wanting to hurt Harry, but he looks forward to the day when Louis is ramming himself into him so hard that he’s crying, begging for more even though he can barely take what Louis’s giving him.

“Need you to touch yourself f’me,” Louis mumbles, his accent becoming even more apparent with every passing thrust. He knows he’s not going to make it much longer, already feeling the pressure building up at the base of his spine.

If it were anybody else, Louis would be embarrassed, but he knows Harry is just as out of it as he is.

Harry follows Louis’s instructions, his hand sliding between the two bodies. He wraps his hand around himself, working his hand over and over until he can barely see straight. With Louis driving into him and his hand working on himself, he can barely take it.

“Lou, I-I’m about to cum,” Harry warns, his hips stuttering.

Louis simply nods in Harry’s neck, his thrusts becoming slower and slower. As soon as he feels Harry’s warm cum shooting out onto his chest, he allows himself to let go, burying himself deeper in Harry.

Louis moans softly as he feels himself fill up the condom, his eyes squeezing shut.

Both boys attempt to catch their breath, both not wanting to move to clean up. Louis slowly pulls out, tying a knot in the condom.

Louis throws it away in the trash can, rolling over on his back. He stares up at the ceiling, feeling as Harry cuddles into his side. Before either boy knows it, they drift off to sleep, coming down from their high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! I might have one more update today but then I won't have another one until Tuesday/Wednesday! 
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Only_theangel if you want to stay updated!


	45. Chapter 45: Colloquium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- You Don't Feel the Same/ Obi Ben
> 
> \- Sweet Creature/ Harry Styles

Chapter 45: Colloquium

December 1

“It’s good to have you in the studio, Louis!” Nick says, baring his teeth to the tired boy.

The past week has been filled with round after round of incredible sex, which impresses Louis. He thought Harry wouldn’t have the stamina to keep up with him, seeing as he’s pregnant.

But Harry has proved Louis wrong, never being able to get his hands off of Louis.

When Harry found out that Louis was taking a break from football, he cried more than Louis thought was humanly possible. He felt terrible that Louis was giving up his dream, but he was also crying of relief. He didn’t think Louis would give it all up for him.

Now, after spending most of the morning in bed with Harry, tuckered out from their previous night’s adventure, Louis is in Nick Grimshaw’s studio, preparing to tell the world that he’s officially on hiatus.

Not indefinitely, just until July, after the baby has been born and Harry has adjusted to his new life. After that, Louis and Harry will fly together to the games, dragging their 6-month-old along with them.

It’s not ideal, but Louis can’t give up his dream entirely.

Louis smiles, leaning back in his seat. This is the first time he’s done a radio interview, he’s normally done TV interviews.

“Thanks for having me, Nick,”

Nick smiles, adjusting the headphones on his ears. “So, Coach Moore said you had some big news on behalf of the team. What’s it going to be?” Nick asks, literally on the edge of his seat.

Louis takes a deep breath, faking a smile as best as he can. He’s nervous to announce this, he doesn’t want to let anyone down. He knows there will be backlash, especially from other players. Not every player takes off for their spouse’s pregnancy.

Most of the time, they’re advised not to.

But Coach Moore has made it very clear that he’s 100% behind Louis and his decision, despite his initial reaction. After Niall calmed him down and explained the whole situation, he told Louis he was welcome back anytime.

“I wanted to come on the show to announce my hiatus,” Louis starts, listening as audible gasps fill the room. Nick’s expression has completely changed, replaced with one full of worry and concern.

Louis quickly recovers, resting his elbows on the table. “It’s not an indefinite hiatus, it’s just until July. I have some family matters that require my attention, so I don’t feel that I can give my all to the team right now. I want to be there for the team completely, not just halfway.” Louis explains.

Nick shifts in his seat, adjusting his headphones once again. “And do these family matters have anything to do with what was discovered on the Alan Carr interview?”

Louis drops his gaze to the table, trying to buy himself time. He hasn’t prepared for this question, he wasn’t expecting it. He doesn’t want to disclose everything, it’s none of their business what his family issues are.

But he feels like he owes his fans something. Some explanation as to why Louis’s leaving them high and dry.

“Erm, somewhat. I am taking time off to help a friend out during his pregnancy,” Louis tries his best to explain while leaving some information out.

Nick smiles, leaning back in his seat. “Well, you heard it here BBC Radio listeners! Louis Tomlinson, defender on the Doncaster Rovers, number 28, is officially on hiatus to change diapers and make bottles!” He announces, the smile on his face doing little to ease Louis’s uneasy feeling.

On hiatus to change diapers and make bottles?

What’s that supposed to mean?

It’s almost as if Nick is making a mockery of Louis’s decision, saying he’s leaving his career to do nothing more than a babysitter would.

“Well, I’ll be doing more than that. I took time off to think about some things as well,” Louis explains, furrowing his eyebrows.

Nick signals to the production team to cut the audio, directing his eyes back to Louis. “Really? Or are you just taking the easy way out?” He presses.

Louis sits up straighter, his eyebrows still furrowed.

The easy way out?

Nothing about this decision was easy.

“As opposed to what?” Louis asks, a slight edge to Louis’s voice.

Nick flashes Louis another smile, crossing his arms over his chest. “As opposed to fading away. Everyone’s talking about how you’ve gone downhill lately. Everyone saw you lose it at the game in Ipswich. You were demoted from captain, you’ve been showing up late to practice-“

“Practice? You’re seriously talking to me about practice? I’ve never been late to a game, I’ve never missed a game-“

“You did miss a game, you ran off the field 5 minutes before it began,” Nick argues, his voice annoyingly calm.

Louis scoffs, completely shocked by this turn of events. “My best friend was in the hospital, he almost lost the baby!”

Nick doesn’t say anything to that, simply looking over to his production team and nodding to them. “Next week on BBC Radio, we’ll have Dua Lipa in the studio!” He announces, his tone suddenly airy and carefree.

Louis shakes his head, jerking the headphones from his head. He stands up, storming out of the interview. He doesn’t have time for this. He doesn’t have to listen to this slander.

He did what Coach Moore asked of him, he gave his fans an explanation. That doesn’t mean he has to sit around and take whatever Nick Grimshaw is trying to throw at him.

He won’t take it.

He has better things to do.

-

“Don’t let it get to you, babe. Nick’s just like any other money-hungry celebrity. He just wants something that keeps his listeners talking,” Harry says, scrolling through Pinterest. He’s recently created a nursery board, pinning anything that interests him. He’s over 5 months now, so according to his strict nursery timeline, he should be ordering furniture.

He’s been on the phone with Liam for weeks now, asking about all of the products he and Zayn use. He’s thankful to have someone to talk to about this stuff, he’d be completely clueless if it weren’t for them.

Louis scoffs, shaking his head. He’s currently building shelves for the closet. Louis thought the storage had perfectly good space, but Harry insisted that he needed more room for everything. “Well, I’m sure they’ll be talking,” He mutters, placing the nail in between his teeth.

He’s never been too experienced with drills and nails, but how hard can it be, right?

Harry scoots around on the floor, wincing in pain. “We need to order a chair, that’s for sure. I’m tired of sitting on the floor,”

Louis rolls his eyes, using a ruler and a pencil to draw a straight line on the wall. “We have a perfectly good couch,” He says, the nail still between his teeth.

Harry could barely understand him, but he has an idea of what he said.

“Wanna be up here with you,” He mumbles, focusing his eyes back on the screen.

What the hell is a Pee Pee Teepee?

Harry furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. Most of these products he’s looking at are ridiculous, he doesn’t understand why anyone would buy them.

Harry keeps scrolling, his eyes landing on his dream crib. It’s a convertible crib, meaning it can be turned into a bed later on in the years. His eyes widen, his finger landing on the picture. “Lou! Look at this! Isn’t this adorable?” Harry asks, his dimples poking out.

Louis drops the nail between his feet, frowning as he places the drill down next to him. “It’s lovely,” He mutters, not even bothering to turn around.

Harry frowns, huffing. “You actually have to look,”

Louis turns around, his eyes landing on the computer. “Sorry, love. Just a little distracted putting up unnecessary shelves.”

He makes his way over to Harry, sitting down next to him. “Not unnecessary, you’ll be thankful for them when the closet is organized and clean.”

Louis glances at the screen, his eyes completely glazing over the picture and landing on the price.

“2300 pounds?! Have you lost your mind?”

Harry frowns, turning to face Louis. “Oh, come on, Lou. It turns into a bed! We’re saving money in the long run because we won’t have to buy a bed when she’s older.” He pleads, watching as Louis shakes his head.

Louis is well off as far as money goes, 2300 pounds isn’t a problem to him. He just doesn’t understand why they can’t use the crib that Louis’s mum used for Ernest and Doris.

“Just imagine this, babe. We buy this crib, we bring her home, she uses it until she’s outgrown it. Then, we convert it to a bed. Well, she won’t really need a bed because I’m sure she’ll sleep with us most nights, but-“

“No, she’s not sleeping in the bed with us,” Louis says, causing Harry to frown. 

“Well, not when she’s a baby.”

“Not when she’s a toddler, either. I need my alone time with you,” Louis urges, wiggling his eyebrows.

Harry resists the urge to laugh, playfully smacking Louis’s arm. “Let me get this straight. If my daughter gets out of bed because she had a bad dream and she runs to us, you’re going to turn her down and make her sleep alone because you want to get some ass from your boyfriend?”

Louis sighs, rolling his eyes. He knows he’s not going to be able to resist her when she actually comes to their room crying, dragging along her blanket and stuffed bear, but he likes to at least pretend like he’ll be the strict parent.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Harry says, turning his eyes back to the computer. He adds the crib to his cart, holding his hand out for Louis’s card.

His business has been doing well, but not well enough for him to spend 2300 pounds on a crib.

“And think about it like this, our second one can always use it,”

Louis cocks his head, his mouth opening.

He’s not sure which part of that sentence he should pay more attention to.

Our?

Or second?

It flowed out of Harry’s mouth so easily, like he’s already been thinking about having a baby with Louis. Louis hasn’t thought that far ahead, only allowing himself to focus on the one Harry’s carrying right now.

Louis closes his mouth, trying to fight back a smile. He digs in his back pocket, fishing for his wallet.

Yes, Louis finally has a wallet. Harry brought up a great point about how he couldn’t date a man who refused to carry a wallet. Who over the age of 18 doesn’t carry some form of wallet?

He takes out the card, placing it into Harry’s waiting hand. “You already thinking about another one?”

Harry blushes, only now realizing what he’s said. He hadn’t meant to say it, it just felt right.

Of course, he’s thought about it, who wouldn’t in this situation?

Harry knows Louis will become the father of his daughter, but Harry can’t help but think about having another one who has Louis’s eyes and athleticism.

He keeps his eyes focused on the screen, typing in the digits on Louis’s card.

“What, you’re going to sit here and tell me you don’t dream about knocking me up?” Harry asks, his tone flirty and confident.

Louis laughs, placing a quick kiss on Harry’s head.

“You know I do… Why don’t we go practice?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't see the update in the description, I have a trailer for my fic! If you want it, you can DM me on Twitter @Only_theangel or you can go to my Youtube @Onlytheangel and find it there!


	46. Chapter 46: Natalem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- I'm With You/ Vance Joy 
> 
> \- Fix It to Break it/ Clinton Kane

Chapter 46: Natalem

February 1

“Happy birthday, love,” Louis whispers, his hand slowly rubbing over the enormous belly. Over the past two months, Harry’s belly has grown and contorted to house the small child in his belly. Louis knows it’s uncomfortable, but he wishes Harry’s belly would never go away. Louis loves rubbing his belly and kissing it, he’s going to miss the belly when Harry gives birth in almost 2 months.

Harry smiles in his sleep, turning his cheek so he’s facing Louis. “Mmm, thank you, baby,” He whispers, stretching his arms above his head. Louis smiles, sitting up in the tangled sheets.

“I’m gonna go downstairs to make breakfast, stay here with Richard,” Louis says, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He has a surprise for Harry that he’ll show him later, but for right now, he needs food.

Harry opens his mouth to respond before he’s interrupted by the sound of a small child screeching.

Louis groans, throwing his head back.

He almost forgot that Zayn and Liam dumped their child on the pair so they could go on a well-needed vacation. They’ve been new parents for almost 3 months, they deserve a weekend to themselves.

But on Harry’s birthday weekend?

Zayn and Liam are coming back tomorrow to pick up Riggs, and Louis has been counting down the days. The hours, even.

It’s not that he doesn’t like the child, he’d just rather spend Harry’s birthday doing things other than changing diapers and making bottles.

Harry frowns, sitting up in bed. “I’ll get him, maybe he’ll go back down before breakfast.”

Louis doesn’t object, instead, getting up and walking over to the chair in the corner of the room. He scoops the sleeping cat up in his arms, taking him into the kitchen to have breakfast as well.

Harry quickly changes out of his pajamas, trying to look somewhat presentable for the day. Lately, he’s been lounging around in sweats. Sometimes he forgets he has real clothes that fit.

Harry yawns, walking upstairs to the nursery. He’s glad they were able to keep Rigs. It gives Harry a chance to prove to Louis that they did need the 2300 pound crib. It also gives him an idea of how Louis is going to be once their own baby comes.

For the most part, Louis has been great. He doesn’t get up in the middle of the night, he leaves that to Harry, but he helps change diapers and make bottles. Harry wishes Louis would help him in the middle of the night, but he doesn’t want to make him.

Harry’s tried not to think too much about it, everyone is different with their own child than someone else’s.

Harry rounds the corner into the nursery, a smile instantly forming his face as he sees Riggs in his crib. He keeps the lights off so he at least has a chance of Riggs going back to sleep. Harry calmly walks to the crib, running his finger over the boy’s soft cheek.

Even after just having Riggs for two nights, Harry can tell what his cries mean. Harry knows right now, he just woke up and was scared because he was alone. Harry gently coos and talks to the small child, watching as he fights sleep. Every time his little eyelashes flutter, it seems he gets a new burst of energy, staring up at Harry.

Harry gently scoops the child up, holding him close to his chest. He slowly steps to his glider (That was another 700 pounds, but Harry didn’t tell Louis about that one) and sits down, cradling the child close.

Harry slowly rocks back and forth, humming his favorite song. Riggs cuddles up to his chest, slowly closing his eyes. He’s still so tiny, Harry feels huge holding him. He can’t imagine how small his own baby is going to be, it scares him.

Harry keeps rocking the glider, looking around the nursery. The nursery is almost done, they just have to fill the closet with clothes. Luckily, his mum and sister have got that covered. Harry and Louis do some shopping here and there, but Anne and Gemma are constantly sending packages in the mail.

Downstairs, Louis is preparing breakfast. His hands are shaking more than he’s comfortable with, but there’s not much he can do for them. Louis slides his hand in the pocket of his sweats, twisting the ring around in his fingers.

He bought the ring on his way to Harry after deciding he was done with football for the season. Louis reckoned if he loves Harry enough to leave football behind, he loves him enough to marry him.

Louis knows it’s soon, but he’s known Harry for 20 years now. He doesn’t need any more time to realize he wants to be with Harry for the rest of his life.

He wants to propose during breakfast, that’s why he’s so nervous. He doesn’t have a speech prepared, he’s just going to say what comes from the heart. Louis adds the finishing touch to the plate, placing the ring in the middle of the table. He knows it’s not the glamorous proposal that Harry deserves, but Louis’s always thought small proposals were the best.

Louis takes a deep breath, turning around to go upstairs. He rounds the corner to the nursery, seeing Harry in his glider.

Harry’s attention is directed to the door as Louis walks in, a smudge of pancake batter on his cheek. Harry smiles, leaning his head back until it touches the cushion. He’s so tired, he just wants to go back to sleep.

“Your birthday breakfast is ready,” Louis announces, his voice a little too loud for Harry to be comfortable with. Normally, Riggs sleeps through anything, but Harry doesn’t want to chance it today.

“I’ll be done in a mo’, I’ve just got to get him back to bed,”

Louis furrows his eyebrows, looking at the sight in front of him. Riggs looks pretty asleep to him, why can’t Harry come down now? Louis is ready to get the proposal over with so he can stop being nervous. He’s ready to call Harry his fiance.

“He’s asleep, just put him back and come downstairs,” Louis says, crossing his arms over his chest.

Harry raises his eyebrow, glancing down at the sleeping child and back up at Louis. “I know he’s asleep, but if I move now, he’ll wake up. I have to wait until he’s really asleep,” Harry explains, his voice soft.

“That’s bullshit, just put him back in the crib.” Louis urges, becoming increasingly frustrated. He just wants Harry to have a good 24th birthday, he’s trying to propose to him!

Harry scoffs, pulling the child closer to his chest. “You’d know it’s not bullshit if you got up in the middle of the night and put him back to sleep,”

Louis physically takes a step back, his eyebrows raising. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks.

“It means, I’m the only one that’s been getting up at night to help! Why do you only help me during the day?” Harry asks. He’s whispering, but his tone is harsh.

Louis shakes his head, chuckling dryly. “Maybe because I have to get up every morning to feed your stupid cat,”

Harry’s jaw drops, his eyebrows furrowing. Stupid cat? Louis loves Richard! Richard has never been a problem until this moment, Louis’s never said anything about it.

“You love Richard,” Harry says, his voice breaking. He hates fighting with Louis, especially on his birthday. This was supposed to be a fun day, but it’s barely 7 am and it's already ruined.

Louis sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “Harry, just put Riggs in his crib and come downstairs with me,” Louis repeats. He doesn’t want to argue today, not before they get engaged. He wanted this to go perfectly, but it’s definitely not perfect anymore.

Harry shakes his head, feeling the child squirm in his arms. “No!” Harry says, his voice slightly more aggressive.

“Chrissake, Harry!” Louis shouts, bringing his hand up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose. This plan has gone to shit, but maybe he can redeem himself by being extra nice at breakfast.

“You’re gonna be a shit father, you know that?” Harry spits out, faster than he can think it.

As soon as he says it, he regrets it. The words feel nasty in his throat, like it shouldn’t be there. Harry knows Louis’s insecure about his fathering abilities because of his own father. Harry knows Louis will be nothing like his father, but it just came out! Harry barely had time to think about saying it before he actually said it.

Louis’s eyes widen, his heart dropping. He never thought Harry would say that. Sure, he thought Harry might think it, but he never, ever thought Harry would use his biggest insecurity against him.

Louis knows he hasn’t been the best while Riggs has been here, but he’s been so stressed. He’s been stressed about the proposal, he’s been stressed about becoming a father, he’s been going crazy lately.

He doesn’t know how to handle a child, that’s why he hasn’t been eager about helping during the night. If he gets up in the middle of the night to take care of Riggs, he’ll be alone. In the day, he knows Harry is watching him and guiding him.

He doesn’t want to mess up.

He doesn’t want to be a shit father, so he’s kept his distance.

But his distance has made Harry think he’s going to be a shit father.

And as much as Harry wants to take it back, he can’t.

Because what if he meant it?

Harry opens his mouth to at least apologize, but nothing comes out. Louis turns around, making his way downstairs. As soon as he leaves the room, he hears Riggs starting to cry.

Louis reaches the kitchen table, plucking the ring from the table.

He can’t propose now. There’s no way he can propose after that. If Harry truly thinks Louis is going to be a terrible dad, why would he ever want to marry Louis?

Louis shoves the ring back in his pocket, sitting down at the breakfast table alone. He has to force himself to eat, despite the growing lump in his throat. He’s never felt more shitty. Between the baby crying upstairs and Richard staring at him like he _knows_ what Louis said about him, Louis wants to crawl into a hole.

Louis pushes his food around on his plate, feeling as his phone vibrates on the table. Louis’s eyes are drawn to the screen, seeing Liam’s name flashing on the screen. Louis quickly answers the phone, hating himself for secretly hoping they’re calling to say they’re picking Riggs up early.

“How is he?” Liam asks, causing Louis to smile slightly.

“He’s alright, Li. Harry’s upstairs with him now,” Louis explains, taking a sip of his orange juice.

“We feel terrible, we just realized it’s Harry’s birthday today. We wouldn’t have asked you to keep him if we’d known. We’ve just been so confused lately, I think the lack of sleep is getting to us,” Liam explains, his voice laced with guilt.

Richard jumps up on Louis’s lap, getting Louis’s attention. He slips the cat a piece of bacon, feeling guilty about what he said earlier. He loves Richard, he’d be distraught if anything ever happened to him. It just seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

“Don’t worry about it, Harry’s having a good time with him,” Louis says, trying to force a smile.

As if on cue, Harry walks into the kitchen, eyes red and puffy. Louis knows he’s been crying, but he can’t find it in himself to comfort him.

Not now.

Louis’s too hurt for comforting someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update every day this week! Follow me on twitter (@Only_theangel) for updates!


	47. Chapter 47: Relevium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Just Be/ Paloma Faith
> 
> \- Cherry Wine/ Hozier

Chapter 47: Relevium

After a very quiet and uneventful breakfast, Harry woke Riggs up and fed him, leaving Louis to clean the dishes. Not only is Harry angry with Louis, Richard hasn’t stopped staring at him, either.

Harry’s on the couch, cuddling Riggs close to his chest. It’s his last day with the child, he already knows he’s going to miss him. It’s been great for Harry to babysit, it gives him an idea of what to expect when his own comes.

He knew it would be exhausting and hard on his relationship, but he never imagined it would cause what happened earlier.

Harry doesn’t want this to become a common occurrence. Harry grew up around arguing when he was a child, before his father divorced his mother. He doesn’t want the same thing for his child, that’s why he’s been trying to work on his anger and not raising his voice.

He failed miserably at that this morning.

He feels guilty about what he said, it’s eating him alive. Harry barely touched his food, too nauseous to even think about eating. He wants to apologize, but Louis doesn’t look like he’s ready to talk about it yet.

One thing Harry’s learned about Louis is that he’ll talk about something when he’s ready to, until then, he won’t say a word. You’ll only dig a deeper hole if you try to talk to Louis before he’s ready.

Riggs is on his first nap of the day, sleeping on Harry’s chest. Harry is watching the football match today, his eyes glued to the screen. Niall is in the middle of the huddle, hyping the team up for their game.

It looks odd without Louis there.

Harry wonders if Louis regrets his decision to leave the team for the season. Harry watches as Louis kicks the football around in the yard alone, after he works out alongside the old footage of practices. There’s a certain sadness to Louis, almost as if his life mission is over.

Harry always convinced himself that it was Louis’s decision to leave, he didn’t force him to leave. If Louis wanted to go back, he could.

But now, Harry wonders if Louis should’ve come back at all.

Harry is distracted when Louis sits in the chair next to the couch, silently watching the game. Louis leans back in his seat, tucking his right leg under his bum.

“How long’s it been on?” Louis asks, clearing his throat.

Harry shifts on the couch, searching for a more comfortable position. Those are few and far between in the last months of pregnancy, Harry’s finding out. “Not long, I don’t think they’ve even announced the teams yet,”

Louis simply nods, glancing over at the sleeping child. Harry’s dressed him in the onesie Liam packed, draping a small blanket over his body. If Harry’s quiet enough, he can hear Riggs breathing, humming in his sleep.

Louis smiles to himself, seeing how Riggs’s legs are sprawled out on top of Harry’s belly. It can’t be comfortable sleeping like that, but Riggs looks quite content.

He knows he should talk to Harry about what happened, but he doesn’t know what to say. Harry hasn’t apologized for what he said, so now Louis thinks he actually meant it. How is Louis supposed to get over what happened if—

“I’m sorry,”

Louis turns his head to Harry, his eyebrow raised. He hadn’t expected Harry to give in so easily, Louis was sure this argument would last for days and days.

“It’s alright, H,” Louis reassures him, his voice quiet.

Harry shakes his head, straining his neck from the couch to get a glimpse at Louis. “It’s not. I didn’t mean what I said, you have to know that.”

Louis drops his gaze to his fingers, suddenly picking at his cuticles. It’s a bad habit, but it’s better than biting your nails. “Then why’d you say it?” Louis asks. He’s never known Harry to say things he didn’t mean, he’s not normally the type to lash out when he’s angry.

Harry sighs, placing his hand on Riggs’s tiny back. He wishes he could give Louis a better excuse than what he’s about to give him, but he can’t. There’s absolutely no excuse for what he said, what happened.

“I’m scared, Lou. I don’t want to be completely alone when the baby is born. If you want to back out, please, do it now. Don’t wait until she’s born, it’ll be so much harder on both of us, she’ll miss you so much. Just do it—“

“I’m not leaving, Harry,” Louis cuts in, slightly offended that Harry thinks he has plans of leaving. Louis was about to propose this morning, he certainly hasn’t been thinking about leaving.

Harry lets out a slow breath, slowly nodding. He’s prepared himself to do this job alone, he has ever since Luke admitted he was married. But when Louis started helping out, Harry wasn’t sure how he’d ever go back to being alone.

Louis sits up in his seat, turning his entire body to face Harry. Suddenly, the room seems to be 10 degrees colder.

“I’m scared too, Harry. I-I don’t want to mess up, I don’t want to hurt him. I didn’t have a dad to watch, I have no clue what I’m about to jump into. You’re a natural, you have nothing to be worried about. But me? I’m hopeless. I only feel comfortable taking care of him under your supervision, so you can stop me if I’m about to do something wrong,” Louis tries his best to explain, his breath getting caught in his throat.

He’s barely wanted to admit this to himself, much less Harry. He doesn’t want Harry to see what Louis already knows, he’s not going to be a good father. He wonders when his duties shifted from uncle to father, and if Harry’s okay with the shift.

Harry frowns, reaching out his hand as best he can without moving too much, not wanting to wake the child. Louis scoots to the edge of the chair, taking Harry’s hand in his.

“Louis William Tomlinson,” Harry starts, looking Louis in the eyes. Louis can’t help but smile, he always did love when Harry used his full name.

Harry doesn’t let up, though, continuing his speech. “You are going to be a great father. IF you want to be,” Harry says, emphasizing the word ‘if’.

Louis furrows his eyebrows, rubbing his thumb over the cross tattoo on Harry’s hand. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be. If you still want to be an uncle, you can! Just because we’re dating and living together doesn’t mean you have to act as a father to my child. I know you didn’t sign up for this. You can still just be uncle Louis, I will handle the hard decisions and you can be the fun uncle, just like we’ve always planned,”

Louis frowns, scooting even closer to Harry. There’s no doubt in his mind that he wants to be a father to this child, Louis’s felt that way for a while. It’s just… Wondering if he should.

Despite not feeling ready, Louis will have to get ready. A child is about to be brought into his home, he’s going to have the responsibility of a parent, whether he wants to or not. It would be hard for a child to differentiate between a father and uncle when the “uncle” is living with her, disciplining her, and teaching her.

“I knew exactly what I was signing up for the moment I picked you over football. I knew you were pregnant, I knew we would be living together when the baby was born. I knew I’d become a father figure. And guess what? I still chose you. So, I did sign up for this. I signed up for the grumpy mornings, the swollen ankles—“

Harry opens his mouth to protest, trying his best to see his feet. It’s hard, the belly blocking his view, but he does NOT have swollen ankles!

“— and the credit card bill from you refusing to reuse furniture from my childhood,” Louis finishes, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Harry smiles, looking back over at Louis. They’re still holding hands, Louis slowly rubbing his thumb over Harry’s tattoo. “I love you. And I love our little footballer,”

Harry moves his hand away, scooting it under Riggs’s belly. He places his hand on his stomach, feeling as the baby kicks. She’s been more active lately, much to Harry’s ribs dismay. She’s finally turned, meaning her little feet find their way between each and every one of Harry’s ribs.

He settles more into the couch, watching as Riggs’s face screws up, waking himself up. Harry gently brushes over his small head, hoping he’ll go back to sleep. “I love you, Lou,” Harry says, his voice fading as the crowd on the screen shouts.

There are multiple fans on the stands holding signs with ’28’ on them, signaling their support for Louis. After Louis’s interview, he was worried people wouldn’t support him for taking time off for family. Fans can be harsh sometimes, especially when they hold celebrities/athletes to a higher standard than normal people.

“Do you miss it?” Harry asks, watching as Riggs’s lifts his head. His head is wobbly, but he’s curious, so he wants to look around.

“Are you going to hate me if I say yes?” Louis asks, his voice suddenly small again. He hasn’t wanted to talk to Harry about this, but he has really missed football. He’s been on the phone with Niall after every game, demanding to hear the details of every play. He feels guilty missing it. He should be enjoying his time with his family, and he is, but he can’t help but miss his boys.

He’s counting down the days until July, which makes him feel like a terrible boyfriend and father, but he can’t help it.

Harry smiles softly, shaking his head. “Could never hate you,”

The pair sit in silence, Louis’s eyes glued to the TV, while Harry’s eyes are glued to the child.

Riggs.

Does Riggs look like a Riggs?

Harry doesn’t think so, he doesn’t think the name matches. But, it’s none of his business.

Harry is tempted to start thinking of names for the baby, but he wants to wait until he holds her. He wants to pick something that suites her, something that tells people who she is before they even know her.

Something strong, powerful, and meaningful.

His mum has been bugging him about telling her the name, but Harry honestly doesn’t know what he wants to name her. He has no idea.

He thought about asking Louis, but he doesn’t know if he trusts Louis to name his child. Louis might name her after a football player. Which isn’t terrible, but it’s just not Harry’s taste.

Louis groans as he watches Niall miss the goal, almost jumping out of his seat. Louis would’ve been able to make that!

  
If only he was there.

If only.

Harry reaches down to his side, unlocking his phone as he feels it vibrate against his skin. He keeps his eyes on the TV screen as he navigates to his messages, the action purely muscle memory by now. Only when he’s curious as to who texted him do his eyes wander to the screen.

Harry raises an eyebrow as he sees a mildly familiar number. It isn’t saved, but the numbers seem familiar to him.

_(xxx) xxx-xxxx: do you have a chance to talk?_

Harry quickly writes out a response, assuming it’s from a client who has a question about their shoot. Harry hasn’t been able to do any for a while, too exhausted creating a human. He’s looking forward to when he can get back into the swing of things, but for now, he’ll have to refer his clients to someone else.

_Harry: Absolutely ! :) is everything okay?_

Harry wonders if he accidentally edited a photo too much (or not enough) or if he forgot to send a link to the clients. At the start of his pregnancy, his brain was all over the place, so it wouldn’t surprise him.

Harry watches the three dots pop up on his screen, dancing in their bubble until the next message pops up.

_(xxx) xxx-xxxx: Actually, I was wanting to do this in person_

Harry rolls his eyes, becoming increasingly frustrated with the mystery client. If there’s an issue with a shoot, they should just call him and talk to him about it. But he knows some of his clients are finicky and he doesn’t want to upset them.

_Harry: when works best for you?_

_(xxx) xxx-xxxx: I’m out of town for a while, I won’t be back until the beginning of march. How’s march 1 sound?_

Harry rolls his eyes again, typing out a simple ‘yes’. He doesn’t want to wait a month, allowing his mind to go crazy as he considers the possibility of what he did wrong, but he’ll have to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have one more chapter today, I'll try my best to get it in! 
> 
> Let me know what you think and who you think is texting Harry?


	48. Chapter 48: Timentes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- When Someone Loves You/ Tim Be Told
> 
> \- Don't Let Me Let You Go/ Jamie Lawson

Chapter 48: Timentes

March 1

Harry taps his foot on the floor, trying to warm himself up. It’s cold outside, colder than it normally is in March. Louis tried to tell him to wear a jacket, but naturally, Harry didn’t listen. Harry is waiting at a small cafe to meet with the client that texted him a month ago.

Harry hasn’t heard anything else from them, but he assumes they’re still coming. He’s 3 weeks away from his due date, meaning he really doesn’t want to be here. He wants to bed in bed with Louis, getting his feet rubbed.

His stomach is so big that he can’t see his feet anymore and he’s pretty sure all he’s worn for the past two months are leggings.

Harry double-checks the message from a month ago, making sure he got the details right. Before he can find the message, he lifts his head as the bell on the door rings. Harry looks up, his eyes searching for the door. As soon as he sees the door, he sees him standing there.

He starts walking to the table, making Harry shake his head and try to grab his things.

No. Harry is not doing this.

Luke reaches the table before Harry can get up, standing in front of Harry’s chair.

“You have 5 seconds to get away from me or I’m calling the cops,” Harry says, staring up at the stranger in front of him. It’s been almost 9 months since he’s seen Luke, he has no desire to see him now. He should’ve known it wasn’t a client, he can’t believe how stupid he can be sometimes.

Luke sighs, frowning at Harry. “For what? For having a conversation with you?” Luke asks.

Harry shrinks back into his seat, knowing there’s nothing Harry can do to make him leave.

Well, if he won’t leave, Harry will.

Harry continues gathering his things, ignoring Luke. Luke places a gentle hand on Harry’s shoulder, causing him to freeze in his movements.

“Don’t. Touch me.” Harry says, gritting his teeth. He jerks his shoulder away, standing up from his chair.

“Harry, stop overreacting. I want to talk about this, I have to tell you something,” Luke pleads, watching as Harry shakes his head.

“There’s nothing to talk about. It’s over between us, you’re married and—“

“I’m not married anymore,”

Harry turns to face Luke, raising an eyebrow. He got a divorce?

“Your wife finally realized what a piece of shit you are?” Harry asks, feeling quite proud of himself. He’s always wanted to stand up for himself, but he was always scared too. Maybe it’s the hormones, maybe it’s because he’s been spending more time with Louis, but either way, Harry’s enjoying the extra feistiness.

Luke sits down, looking up at Harry. He looks the same, but he looks different. His hair is the same, he hasn’t lost or gained weight, but he looks… Tired.

“She cheated on me,” Luke says, his voice quiet.

Harry rolls his eyes, dropping his hand to his stomach. How dare Luke act like he’s such a victim in this circumstance?

“When are you due?” Luke asks, dropping his eyes to Harry’s belly.

Instinctively, Harry hugs his arms to his stomach. He doesn’t even want Luke to look at his belly, much less know anything about the baby. He lost that right when he didn’t tell Harry he was married.

“That’s none of your business.”

Luke places his elbows on the table, dropping his head to his hands. “I know, I know. I… I just want to be involved, Harry. I’ve lost everything. My ex-wife won’t let me see my kids anymore, I’m completely alone.”

Harry scoffs, shifting his weight around as he stands. His feet and his back are killing him, he really should just go home.

But he can’t. He has so much he wants to say to Luke, he has so much he wants to make him pay for.

“So you’re using my child as a backup plan? You’re only interested in my child because your children got taken away from you?” Harry asks, raising an eyebrow.

Luke lifts his head up, shaking his head. “No, no, that’s not it. I just realized how much I love my kids and how much I miss them. I don’t want to miss out on this child’s life because of a stupid mistake. I know what I did was wrong, Harry. I do, trust me.” Luke pleads, his eyes filling with tears.

Harry tugs the inside of his cheek between his back teeth, trying his best to talk himself out of feeling sorry for the man in front of him. He can’t imagine having his daughter taken away from him, being left alone in a big house.

Harry hates being alone, that’s his worst nightmare.

Harry looks around the cafe, studying the crowd. There are plenty of witnesses if anything happens, he’ll be protected if Luke tries anything. The least he can do is let the man speak for himself.

Harry sighs, sitting back down in his seat. His belly rubs the table slightly, causing him to mumble under his breath. He loves being pregnant, he loves his child, but he can’t wait until he’s back to normal.

Luke smiles softly, nodding down to Harry’s belly. “How many more weeks?”

Harry stares at him for a while, staying silent. Should he tell Luke how far along he is? He doesn’t want to, but what harm could it do?

“Uh, I have a little over 3 weeks left. I’m scheduled for March 25,” Harry says, his hands still wrapped around his belly.

Luke smiles again, his hands resting on the table. “That’s my mum’s birthday,”

Harry draws his lips in a tight line, slowly nodding. He isn’t sure what to say back to that, it’s not like his daughter is ever going to meet Luke’s mum.

Silence falls over the table, an awkwardness settling in between the two. Harry quietly taps his foot, suddenly feeling guilty for being here. If Louis ever found out about this, he’d be crushed.

Harry doesn’t know if Louis would ever forgive him. Louis’s had to save Harry from Luke at least twice, Harry doesn’t know how many more times Louis will do it.

“I’m sorry, Harry, I really am,” Luke repeats, reaching his hand out to touch Harry’s arm. Harry draws it back, grimacing. He doesn’t want to be touched, not by Luke.

“I’m over it,” Harry answers honestly, his tone cold and distant.

Luke moves his arm back, looking down at the table. “I was wondering if maybe I could start being involved? I’ve been thinking non-stop about the two of you, I’d love it if you came to live with me,”

Harry laughs, his eyebrows raised. He never realized just how insane Luke was.

“Move in with you? I haven’t heard anything from you in almost 9 months.” Harry argues, his laugh long gone.

“Because you told that tiny twat to tell me to leave you alone!”

Harry furrows his eyebrows, leaning forward in his chair so his face is almost touching Luke’s. “That ‘tiny twat’ is my boyfriend, so I suggest you choose your next words very carefully.” Harry threatens, his motherly instincts kicking in.

Nobody talks about Louis. Nobody.

Luke grits his teeth, rolling his eyes. Harry can tell he’s trying to hold himself back, but he’s not doing a very good job of it. “Listen, I was only doing what I thought you wanted.”

Harry leans back in his chair, shrugging his shoulders. “It is what I wanted. And it’s still what I want. I’m doing just fine on my own, I don’t need you.”

“You’re doing fine on your own? So I guess Louis isn’t helping you, then?” Luke asks, knowingly. Harry knows Luke had to have heard about Louis stepping down from football to help his pregnant best friend, he knows Luke knows Louis’s helping him.

Harry doesn’t answer, his eyes trained on the door.

“If you let me help you, Louis can go back to football, you can live with me. Everything will be back to normal.”

-

Harry shuts the door behind him, instantly sighing a sigh of relief when the heat of the home hits his cold cheeks. Even just the short walk from the car to the door was miserable, the cold air cutting through his thin leggings.

Louis is on the couch, flipping through Netflix to find a movie to watch. He’s been home alone all day, waiting for Harry to get back from his meeting with his client. He started the day off by finishing off the nursery, packing a bag for both of them. Even though Harry is scheduled for a C-Section, there’s still a chance of Harry going into natural labor.

Louis’s trying his best to step up and be responsible, not wanting to fail before his official job even starts.

Harry sits on the couch, chewing on his bottom lip. Louis studies his face, trying to get a hint of what’s wrong.

He can tell something’s wrong, he always can when it comes to Harry.

“What’s wrong, love? Client meeting go bad?” Louis asks, turning his eyes back to the screen. He settles on a random movie, suddenly uninterested in anything Netflix has to offer.

“Um, it actually wasn’t a client,” Harry mumbles, his voice almost too quiet for Louis to hear what he said.

Louis leans in closer, placing his hand on the belly. In just 3 short weeks, the bigger portion of Harry’s belly will be gone. Louis has mixed feelings about it. He knows Harry is uncomfortable with the added weight, but he thinks he looks so cute, he doesn’t want it to ever go away.

“Oh, who was it?” Louis asks, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder. He gently rubs the belly, feeling as the baby kicks his hand. When Harry doesn’t answer, Louis lifts his head and turns to him.

“Did you hear me? Who was it?” He repeats, watching as Harry’s cheeks redden.

Harry stays silent, swallowing his words in his throat. He can’t bring himself to tell Louis the truth. He knows Louis will be so hurt, but he also knows they have to discuss their options.

“Harry,” Louis says, a slight edge to his voice. Based on Harry’s reaction, he met with someone Louis would disapprove of.

And there’s not many people Louis doesn’t want Harry around.

“Lou, I had no idea it was him, I swear!” Harry says, watching as Louis shakes his head.

“You left as soon as you realized it was him, right?” He asks, removing his hand from his belly. He scoots to the other side of the couch, turning to get a better look at Harry.

Harry swallows, nodding his head. “Yes. Well, no. I-I tried,”

“Tried? Did he hold you down?” Louis asks, slightly raising his voice. He doesn’t understand what Harry’s saying. Tried to leave? There’s no trying about it, either you leave or you don’t.

And it looks like Harry didn’t leave.

Harry sighs, his cheeks getting even redder. “He brought up some great points, Louis. He got divorced, he’s not allowed to see his kids anymore, I—“

“Good points? The man isn’t allowed to see his kids for a reason, what good point could he have brought up?” Louis asks, becoming increasingly frustrated.

He can’t believe after everything Luke’s done to Harry, Harry still forgives him and makes excuses for him.

“Stop interrupting me. He wants me to move in with him, so he can help out. He knows you left football, he said this way you could go back,” Harry says, trying his best to defend himself. He knows he must sound pathetic right now, trying to convince Louis that he made the right decision, but he really thinks he did the right thing by not leaving Luke in the cafe.

“Oh, not this again,” Louis mutters, rolling his eyes. This is the second time Harry’s tried to give Louis an out. When is he going to understand that Louis doesn’t want to be out of this situation? Sure, he misses football more than anything, but he doesn’t regret his decision.

Harry frowns, sitting up on the couch. “I’m just saying, it’s an option we need to consider,”

“It’s not an option that I need to consider. I know my answer, my answer is absolutely not. There’s no way I’m going to send my boyfriend to live with his abusive ex-boyfriend who’s been a deadbeat dad for 9 months just so I can go play football.” Louis says, his voice stern.

He stands up, walking into the kitchen. He can’t be around Harry right now, he can’t believe this is even a conversation they’re actually having.

Harry is silent for a while, glancing down at his lap. His eyes fill with tears, his throat tightening. “Well, we wouldn’t be boyfriends if I moved back in with him,” He mutters.

It’s silent in the house until Louis pops back into the living room, his eyes wide.

Had he heard Harry right?

Surely not.

“You want to break up?” Louis asks, his voice barely strong enough to form words.

“No! Of course not, Louis,” Harry says, his bottom lip trembling. He doesn’t want to break up, but he wants Louis to be happy. If this situation will make him happy, it’s what he wants.

Before Louis can respond, Harry opens his mouth to defend himself again. “You’ll be able to play football, my daughter will have her actual dad in her life, you won’t have to be held down any more,”

Louis scoffs, shaking his head. “Actual dad?”

“I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant—“

“Nothing about that man says ‘actual dad’, alright? Has he gone to a single ultrasound?” Louis asks.

Harry isn’t sure if he’s looking for an actual answer or if he’s just trying to prove a point.

“Answer the goddamn question,” Louis says, his voice stern.

Harry swallows, shaking his head. “No,” He whispers.

“I didn’t think so. He’s not gone to a single appointment, he wasn’t there for you when you almost lost her, he didn’t pay for a single thing in that nursery. I did. I was there for all of it. I wouldn’t have done any of that if I didn’t want to be her dad. If you decide to break this off and move back in with Luke, that’s your decision. It has nothing to do with me or football. Because I’m telling you right now, there’s nothing in this world that could make me walk away from you or my daughter. No, this decision is all yours,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one really hurt to write. 
> 
> I promise better times are coming. 
> 
> Just bear with me. 
> 
> I'll have an update tomorrow, there are 12 chapters left after the one I'll post tomorrow.


	49. Chapter 49: Poenitet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Sorry (acoustic)/ Nothing but Thieves
> 
> \- Afterlife/ Nothing but Thieves

Chapter 49: Poenitet

March 2

It was a cold and quiet night last night, neither one of the boys speaking up. Louis didn’t see why he should be the one to speak up first, he’s the one that spoke last. After Louis said nothing would come between him and his daughter, Harry didn’t say a word for the rest of the night.

Louis isn’t sure how he feels about that.

Either that means Harry’s done talking about it, done thinking about it, and done considering the outrageous idea.

Or it means that he’s taking the time to really consider the possibility.

Louis tried to get some sleep, but he was cold and lonely on the couch alone.

Well, not alone. Richard has forgiven him in the past month, so he was right by Louis’s side last night.

Louis’s out in the yard, dribbling the football between his feet. The boys are at another match, their last one for the week. Louis tuned in to watch, but he had to turn it off once he realized how bad the boys were losing.

Louis’s attention is brought to the door when he sees Harry opening it, leaning against the frame. He’s dressed in one of Louis’s bigger sweaters, his lower half only clad in his black briefs. Louis knows Harry’s refused to buy any more maternity pants, insisting that he shouldn’t buy pants in the last months when he’s only going to wear them for a short while.

Louis knows he’s cold waiting by the door, he doesn’t understand why he isn’t curled up in bed with Richard.

“I’m having Braxton Hicks again,” Harry says, his voice loud enough that Louis can hear him across the yard.

Around Christmas time last year, Harry woke up with intense cramping in his lower belly. He was only 6 months along at the time, so Louis rushed him to the hospital thinking he was going into early labor. The doctor explained he was just having false contractions, it was nothing to worry about.

Still, they were painful and Louis hated to watch Harry go through them.

Louis lifts his head, stopping the ball under his foot. “How bad are they?” He asks, slipping his hands in his jacket pockets.

Harry shrugs, pursing his lips. “Not bad, yet. Mum told me they’ll get worse the closer to I get to the due date,” Harry explains, resting his hand on his belly.

Louis slowly nods, not sure where to go from here. Is this a distraction? Or is this a mutual agreement to forget about the argument and move on?

“Go take a relaxing bath, I’ll give you a massage when you get out,” Louis says, leaning down to pick the ball up. When they went to the doctor the first time for Braxton Hicks, they were informed that walking, massages, drinking water, and having a relaxing bath will help relieve some of the contractions.

Harry smiles to himself, turning on his heels. He’s glad they’re able to be civil, he didn’t want to argue today, they did enough of that yesterday. He makes his way into the master bath, searching in the cabinet for his favorite bubble bath supplies. He picks up the ones that smell like vanilla, pouring in just enough of the solution to form bubbles all the way to the top of the tub.

Once he strips himself of his clothes, he looks in the mirror, rubbing his large hands over his even larger belly. Stretch marks are beginning to form at the base of his belly, weaving their way into the ferns inked on his skin.

Harry sighs, dipping a toe into the bubble-filled tub, sinking down until his nose is touching the water. Just when he leans his head back against the tub, Louis enters the bathroom. He’s carrying a bottle of water, holding it up. “Here, didn’t want you to get overheated,” He says, his voice gentle. Harry smiles, nodding for Louis to put it next to the tub.

“Know how hot you like your bathwater.”

Harry smiles again, rolling his eyes. Louis’s always giving him a hard time about how hot he likes his water, saying it’s the main reason Harry’s skin gets so dry in the winter.

“Thank you,” Harry says.

Louis simply nods, turning to walk out.

“Wait,” Harry says, causing Louis to turn back around. Harry shrinks into the tub under Louis’s questioning gaze, suddenly feeling awkward for asking his boyfriend to stay. He shouldn’t, he’s asked him to stay a million times before.

But suddenly, he feels like he shouldn’t have asked.

“Um, I was gonna ask you to stay, so we could talk,” Harry finishes, stretching his legs out in the water. The hot water is already helping his sore muscles, the contractions subsiding with each passing moment.

Loui stays silent, going to sit on the closed toilet lid. He leans against the back, folding his hands on his lap. He doesn’t want to talk, he’s said all he had to say about the situation. It’s up to Harry to decide what he wants to do.

Louis isn’t going to beg Harry to choose him, no matter how much he wants to.

Harry chokes on his breath, running his fingertips on the top of the bubbled water. He isn’t sure where to go from here, he was halfway expecting Louis to walk out.

“I’m sorry, Lou,” Harry says, clearing his throat.

“For?” Louis asks, jutting his chin out. Sure, he’s being an ass for asking Harry to elaborate, but he feels like he has every right to be an ass.

Harry takes a deep breath, breaking eye contact with Louis. “For… Implying you’re not my daughter’s father,”

Louis’s chin drops to his chest, gently shaking his head.Harry doesn’t even know why Louis’s upset. It’s not so much as Harry implying Louis wasn’t the father of his child, it’s that Harry even considered moving back in with Luke.

That hurt worse than anything.

“Harry, I know I’m not the biological father of our daughter, you don’t have to apologize for the truth. It just hurts that you’re considering letting Luke be a part of our daughter’s life. He tried to sexually assault you, he lied to you! He cheated on his wife, got his kids taken away from him, but somehow, you still see the good in him,”

Harry feels tiny in this bathtub, especially under Louis’s criticism. He knows he wasn’t right, he knows he messed up.

“I’m not,” Harry says, causing Louis to raise an eyebrow. “Considering it. ‘M not anymore,” Harry whispers.

“You’re not?” Louis asks. Harry shakes his head, lifting his eyes to look at his boyfriend. Louis looks like he didn’t sleep at all last night, the bags under his eyes are more prominent than they’ve ever been. Harry hated sleeping alone, he doesn’t want to ever do it again.

“No, I’ll never consider it again. I’d miss you too much, Lou. Sleeping alone last night made me realize that I don’t ever want to be without you.” Harry says, feeling as tears fill his eyes.

Ugh, he hates pregnancy. He cries every time he’s happy, frustrated, tired, hungry, sad, or embarrassed.

Louis fiddles with his fingers, lifting his eyes to look at Harry. He stays silent, not sure what to say. He’s glad Harry isn’t going to move back in with Luke, but he wishes he never even considered it.

Louis would never consider it if an ex tried to get him to move back in with him.

But maybe Harry doesn’t love Louis as much as Louis loves Harry.

Louis stands up, taking a couple of steps until he’s standing next to the tub. He extends his hand, nodding to it. “You need to get out, it’s almost been 10 minutes,” Louis says, watching as Harry takes his hand.

Harry stands up, steadying himself to get out of the tub. Now that he’s thinking about it, he doesn’t know why he ever doubted Louis’s ability to be a good father.

Louis times his hot baths, just to make sure he doesn’t go over 10 minutes. The doctor told them when Harry first got pregnant that he should avoid hot baths altogether, but if he had to have one, it shouldn’t be for longer than 10 minutes.

The first time Louis caught Harry in a hot bath, he freaked out and called the doctor just to double-check that it was okay. Ever since then, he’s kept an eye on Harry during his relaxing baths.

Louis’s already such a great dad, Harry knows Luke could never measure up.

Louis assists Harry in getting out of the bath, wrapping him up in a towel. The ends of his curls are wet, thanks to Harry forgetting to tie his hair up before he got in. Louis rubs the towel over Harry’s warm body, paying extra attention to the belly.

“Go lay on the bed, I’ll be there in a mo’,”

Harry wraps himself tighter in the towel, padding his feet toward the bed. He lays down, reaching for his phone and going to his messages. The least he can do is inform Luke that he’s not going to be able to be involved in his child’s life.

He quickly types out a gentle (but firm) message explaining, resting his phone back on the bed beside him.

Louis makes his way into the bedroom, carrying two different types of oil. “I wasn’t sure which one you’d prefer, so I brought both,”

Harry smiles to himself, laying on his back. He can’t see his feet, but he feels Louis wrapping a hand around them, gently massaging the swollen flesh. Harry hugs the towel tighter to his body, fighting back a moan. Louis’s got amazing hands, the tiny fingers digging into the flesh.

Beside him, Harry’s phone buzzes. Instead of answering it, he closes his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy his massage.

Louis works his way up to Harry’s calves, rubbing his thumb in circles over the tight muscles. The two sit in silence, Harry humming ever so often when Louis hits just the right spot. Louis smiles each time Harry moans, knowing he’s doing something right.

Louis continues working his hands over Harry, inching up further and further, until he’s working on his shoulders. Harry can’t lay on his stomach, but he’s on his side, so Louis still has access. Louis’s hands are starting to cramp up, but he keeps pushing on.

His hands cramping are nothing compared to what Harry is going to have to go through in 3 short weeks.

Harry is pulled out of his sleep when a knock comes from the main room. Louis furrows his eyebrows, his eyes immediately searching for his bedroom door. “Are you expecting anyone?” Louis asks, watching as Harry shakes his head.

“No,” He answers.

Louis frowns, pulling his hands away from Harry. He quickly wipes his hands over his pants, drying them off. He stands up from the bed, walking into the main room.

As soon as he opens the door, his blood starts to boil.

Luke is standing there, his phone in his hand, his cheeks red with fury.

“Luke, get the hell off my property,” Louis warns, his voice stern. He really hopes Harry can’t hear him, he doesn’t want to stress him out.

Luke attempt to push his way past the door, but years and years of football training have prepared Louis for this moment, moving quickly before Luke can think about stepping a foot into the building.

Louis’s chest collides with Luke’s, pushing him back.

“Get out of my way,! Where’s Harry?” Luke asks, staring straight past Louis.

Louis chuckles dryly, shaking his head. “Mate, can’t you take a hint? Harry doesn’t want you around,” Louis says.

Luke steps back, forcing a smile. “We both know that’s not true. If that were true, he wouldn’t have met up with me.” Luke says.

Louis rolls his eyes, backing Luke up even more. “You tricked him,”

Luke takes this opportunity to try again to get in the house. This time, Harry is standing in the living room, dressed just in Louis’s t-shirt and his briefs. As soon as he sees Luke, his eyes widen.

What is he doing here? How did he even know where Louis lives?

Luke holds his phone up, his screen showing the messages between the two boys. “What’s this, huh? You think you can just force me out of my child’s life?” Luke spits, his eyes wild.

Harry takes a step back, his eyes searching for Louis.

Louis steps between them, pushing Luke back. “Luke, I’m not going to tell you again. Get away from him!” Louis shouts, continuing to push Luke back.

Luke stumbles, his back pressed against the door. “I’ll take this to court! I’ll win, you know I will. I’m a lawyer, they’ll be on my side,”

Harry’s stomach clenches at the thought of that. He’s right. He has more money than Harry does, he could afford to drag the case on and on. He has connections in that world, Harry doesn’t.

“That’s where you’re wrong, pretty boy. Your wife left you and took the kids with you, don’t you think they’ll find that suspicious? I won’t hesitate to tell Harry to take a restraining order out on you, do you think they’ll really give custody to someone who’s got a restraining order against them?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow.

Before Luke can speak, Louis continues. “And I assume a restraining order won’t look good to your boss, right?”

Luke glances between Harry and Louis, swallowing. “I have a right to see this child,”

Louis shakes his head, clicking his tongue. “Luke, if you don’t leave now, I’m going to have to put my hands on you. I really don’t want to do that, but I will.” Louis threatens, causing Harry to tense up.

He doesn’t want Louis to fight, he hates seeing Louis fight. He just wishes Luke would leave, he’s stressing Harry out and he doesn’t need any more stress. Luke sighs, giving up his fight. He turns around, opening the door.

“This isn’t over,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might not have an update tomorrow, but I'll definitely try to get it in! 
> 
> I'm struggling with my mental health right now, so the updates might come a little slower than normal, but I will be finishing this story. I won't leave you guys without an ending to this story. 
> 
>   
> Also, I have plans to write another fic after this. Comment below if you'd like to read another fic by me!


	50. Chapter 50: Chirurgia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Blue/ Beyonce (Ft. Blue Ivy) 
> 
> \- Genevieve/ Girlyman

Chapter 50: Chirurgia

March 25

“H, wake up,” Louis whispers, standing over the edge of the bed. He’s fully dressed, fully ready to become a father. It’s barely 7 am, the sun isn’t even up yet. Louis hasn’t been up this early in a while, but he doesn’t mind it today.

Because today, his daughter is being born.

They have to be at the hospital by 7:30. He’s been trying to wake Harry up for the past 30 minutes, but it’s not working. Harry just grumbles and turns over, hiding his face under the pillow. Louis sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed.

He knows Harry’s scared, he hasn’t been acting right for quite a while.

Not since Luke paid a visit.

Harry hasn’t wanted to get closer to his due date because he doesn’t want his daughter to be born. As soon as she’s born, she’s vulnerable. In his belly, she’s safe. Luke can’t do anything to hurt her. He can’t take her away from Harry if she’s still in his belly.

He doesn’t want to get attached to her, only for Luke to storm in and take her away from him. Louis knows Luke won’t be able to get custody of her, but Harry isn’t so sure. He’s seen just how far evil runs in Luke’s body and his mind, he doesn’t need any more proof.

Louis places a hand on Harry’s back, lightly rubbing. “Aren’t you ready to meet our little girl?” Louis asks, his voice almost as gentle as his hand movements.

Harry shakes his head, his eyes filling with tears. Louis frowns, removing his hand. “Well, you have to get up. Our bags are already in the car, I got the car seat in the back, I’ve called your mum and Gem,”

Harry rolls over, wiping his hand over his face to rid it of his tears. “What about Jo?” Harry asks.

Louis smiles, standing up. “Mum’s gonna visit once we get home. She doesn’t want to stress you out, she knows you don’t want a lot of people there,” Louis says, reaching out his hand. Harry hesitates for a while, only giving in when Richard nudges his back.

Harry reaches out his hand, grabbing onto Louis’s. Louis helps him stand up, looking over at Richard and pointing a finger. “You, mister, have to promise to be good for Uncle Niall.” He warns, raising an eyebrow.

Richard ignores him, curling up in the spot where Harry was laying.

Harry will have to stay in the hospital for 3 days, just to make sure everything goes smoothly after the procedure. Luckily, the team didn’t have any games during those days, so Niall agrees to stay at Louis’s house to watch Richard.

Between Niall and Louis, they both know the real reason why Niall is staying over. Louis wants to make sure Luke doesn’t try to come back for a visit. Luke hasn’t contacted them since that day, but Louis just wants to be extra careful.

Louis helps Harry get dressed, pulling his hair up in a bun, bending down to help him slip on his vans. Harry waddles out to the car, Louis helping him in to make sure he doesn’t strain anything and hurt himself.

Once they’re at the hospital, Louis checks Harry in. Harry stands silently next to him, his hand resting on his belly. He’s excited, but he’s terrified. In less than 5 hours, he’s going to have a child. He’s going to have a tiny, living thing depending on him for everything.

“Harry? Are you listening to me?” Louis asks, reaching out and touching a gentle hand to Harry’s arm. Harry snaps back to life, nodding his head.

“Yes,” He lies.

Louis leads him to their assigned room, placing their bags on the empty chair. “They’re gonna come in and run some tests, just to make sure everything is okay. They said the C-Section should start around 8:30, we’ll have a baby by 9:30.”

The excitement on his face is hard to hide, he can’t believe after all this time, they’re finally going to become parents.

Harry slowly nods, staring straight ahead. He wishes he was more excited, he just feels like he’s dissociating. He thinks he’s doing a good job of hiding it, but Louis can see right through the facade. He sits on the bed with Harry, turning his head to look at him.

“What are you so worried about, huh?” He asks, his voice quiet.

Harry takes a deep breath, dropping his eyes to his lap. “I’m worried I’m not going to be able to protect her once she’s out. So many things can go wrong, Lou. She could get sick, she could have bullies, she could fall and break a bone,” He explains.

“Why are you lying to me?” Louis asks. Harry furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head. “‘M not,”

“You are. You’re not worried about bullies or broken bones, because you know we’ll be able to handle all of that… You’re worried Luke is going to do something, aren’t you?” Louis asks, settling into the bed.

Harry stays silent, essentially answering Louis’s question.

Louis sighs, throwing an arm around Harry’s shoulder. “There is nothing he could do to take her away from us, I swear. If he sends lawyers, I’ll send mine. If you’re worried he’ll break in and get her, I’ll have cops posted around the house 24/7. If somehow the court decides to give him custody, we’ll take her and be on the run for the rest of our lives. He’s never going to take her away from us, baby,” Louis reassures him, meaning every single word.

He’s never been more prepared to fight for something in his entire life.

-

After the nurses ran their tests, they wheeled Harry into the OR, prepping him for his surgery. They’ve already placed the IV, given the epidural, and inserted the catheter. Now, they just have to sterilize his stomach.

Harry is alone at the table, Louis having to get dressed in a sterile gown for the birth. Harry turns his head, searching for Louis.

His eyes land on Louis through the glass, Louis throwing up a thumbs-up. He’s dressed in his sterile gown, the surgical cap covering his head and his ears. Harry giggles at the sight, shaking his head.

When he went up to Louis on the football field 20 years ago, he never imagined they’d be here.

Louis is dismissed by the nurse, making his way over to Harry. The drapes are blocking their view of the stomach, so Louis sits right beside Harry’s head. He gently brushes back the hair from his forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“Okay, Mr. Styles. We’re going to start the procedure, so you might feel some slight discomfort,” The doctor warns, causing Harry to nod. He reaches out for Louis’s waiting hand, gently squeezing as the doctor cuts into his skin.

“You’re doing so good,” Louis whispers, smiling at Harry.

Harry smiles and rolls his eyes, chuckling a bit. “I’m not _doing_ anything, Lou. ‘M just laying here,”

Louis frowns, shaking his head. “That’s not true. You’re bringing my daughter into the world, you’re doing something very amazing,” He explains, his eyes already filling with tears.

Louis wasn’t sure if he’d cry when his child was born, he wasn’t even sure if he’d ever have children. But here he is, crying before his child is even fully out.

Minutes pass, the doctors mumbling amongst themselves. Harry only feels slight pressure, nothing too bad. After a couple of more minutes, Harry suddenly feels relief in his stomach.

“Okay, your daughter is out!” The lead doctor says, a smile on his face. Harry immediately lifts his head, straining to see around the drapes. He can’t, of course, but he still tries. His eyes fill with tears at the sound of his daughter crying for the first time, already just wanting to comfort her.

Louis chokes out a sob as he stands up, watching as the nurses take his daughter to be cleaned off. “Dad? Want to come see her?” The nurse asks, motioning for Louis to join her. Louis presses a gentle kiss to Harry’s head before going to see his daughter.

As soon as Louis sees her, he can no longer control his tears.

She’s beautiful.

She’s tiny.

She’s _her_.

She’s _his_.

Louis watches as they clean her off, scrubbing her already curly brown hair with the towel, suctioning her nose.

Once they swaddle her in the provided blanket, they plop her in his waiting arms. Louis looks down at her, his vision blurry from the tears. Even through the tears, he can already see she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Her eyes are a beautiful hazel color, her dimples already showing as she continues crying.

She’s got Harry’s lips.

Louis gently bounces her, shushing her. “Let’s go see mummy, yeah?” He whispers, his voice broken and hopeless. He slowly walks her over to Harry, who’s waiting patiently. The doctors start stitching him up, but Harry doesn’t feel a thing.

Louis gently places her on Harry’s chest, watching as Harry completely envelops her. As soon as Harry’s got his hands around her, he falls in love. He’s never felt anything like this, this is so much better than he ever imagined it would be.

He already loves her more than he’s ever loved anything else.

He dares Luke to try and take her.

“Mum, what are we naming her?” The nurse asks, pulling out the birth certificate.

Harry looks up at Louis, smiling. “Genevieve,” He says, never breaking eye contact with Louis. He’s kept the name a secret from everyone so far, wanting to surprise them.

“Middle?” The nurse asks.

“Harper,” Harry responds.

“And last name?”

Harry takes a deep breath, breaking eye contact with Louis for the first time. He took a lot of time to consider this decision, but now he’s nervous. He knows he’s making the right choice, he just hopes Louis feels the same way.

“Tomlinson,”

Louis’s eyes widen, sitting back down next to Harry. “Harry, are you sure?” He asks, his eyes filling with tears for what seems to be the millionth time today.

Harry fights back more tears, nodding. “Yes, I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I want her to have your name, Lou.”

Louis glances down at the already sleeping child, admiring the way her nose twitches with every breath. He didn’t expect Harry to give her his last name, even though he’d been secretly hoping the whole pregnancy that he would.

It’s an honor just to be able to call her his daughter, an even bigger honor for her to have his last name.

“What do you think, Genny? Wanna have daddy’s last name?” Harry asks, dropping his eyes to look at the sleeping baby.

The two watch as her nose twitches again, causing them to laugh. “I think that’s a yes,” Harry teases.

Louis kisses Harry’s cheek, placing a gentle hand on Genevieve’s back. “Genevieve Harper Tomlinson… That’s a mouthful,” Louis laughs, his eyes being pulled to the doctors pulling the drapes back.

Harry’s stomach is all stitched up, the gown covering him again.

“We’re going to take you back to your room now. Visitors can start coming in any time now, but they have to leave before 9 pm,” The doctor informs the new parents.

Harry holds the child close to his chest, allowing the doctors to wheel him back. Louis walks beside the bed, pulling his phone out and typing Niall’s name in.

After only one ring, Niall picks up. He just got to practice, he’s surrounded by his teammates on the field.

“Tommo!! Do we have a baby yet?” Niall asks, causing Louis to smile.

He flips the camera around so the team can see Harry and Genny as they get settled in their room. “Don’t forget to feed my cat after practice!” Harry says, listening as Niall laughs.

“I’ll feed your damn cat,” Niall responds.

Louis hands the phone to Harry, allowing him to show off his new child. Genny is slowly waking up now, squirming on Harry’s chest.

The team admires the new child, congratulating both boys. “She’s gorgeous, Tomlinson,” Coach Moore says, taking the phone from Niall.

Louis smiles, his cheeks heating up. “Thanks, Coach,”

Coach Moore smiles, staring at the camera. “Take good care of her, alright? We’ll see you back in July,” He says, hanging up before Louis can respond. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, there will be around 10 chapters left! I'm looking forward to writing the end of this story, I have some exciting things (+ Angst) that I'll be writing in the next couple of chapters! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was hard to write and describe the feelings that parents often feel when they're having a child. I hope I did it justice! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the name they picked, it means Woman of the People!


	51. Chapter 51: Novus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Hopeless/ Khalid
> 
> \- No Song Without You/ HONNE

Chapter 51: Novus

March 28

“Louis, would you please be more careful?” Harry urges, reaching up front and swatting Louis’s strained bicep. They’re on their way from the hospital, finally taking their precious Genny home.

Harry’s looking forward to introducing Genny to Richard, while Louis’s looking forward to checking his drawers and cabinets to make sure Niall didn’t leave them empty-handed. No, Niall would never steal, but Niall has a habit of borrowing things without asking and returning them months later.

Louis glances in the rear-view mirror, watching as Harry huddles over the car seat, double-checking that he’s got the seatbelt on right. “Relax, Range Rovers are incredibly durable in accidents,”

Harry shoots an eyebrow up, staring straight into Louis’s eyes. “You’re sure about that?” He asks.

Louis thinks silently, shaking his head soon after. “Not 100%, no,” He answers.

“How about we _not_ test that theory with our newborn daughter in the car?” Harry asks, his voice strained. The vein on his forehead looks like it’s about to pop, he’s looked that way since Genevieve was born. Louis thinks it’s hilarious, how concerned Harry is with protecting his daughter.

Louis knows the chance of getting into an accident while you’re the only ones on the road, doing 30 kph are pretty slim, he thinks Harry is just overthinking this whole new parent thing.

“Alright, H, you can un-wad your panties. I’m pulling in the driveway now,”

Harry rolls his eyes, looking out the window. Niall is standing in the doorway, holding a sign overhead. Richard is simply sitting at Niall’s feet, seemingly uninterested in his parents’ arrival. As soon as Niall spots the car, he starts dancing and waving his sign around.

‘Welcome home, Tomlinson family’ the sign says, colored with every color marker Niall could find.

Louis puts the car in park, unbuckling his seatbelt and making his way back to the backseat. Louis stands there with the door open, patiently waiting for Harry to get out of the car. It’s taking him a while to move around now, since he’s still sore from the procedure.

Harry steps out of the car, handing the diaper bag and the hospital bag to Louis, turning his back to Louis. He unlatches Genny’s car seat, taking it in his hands. He carefully carries the car seat to the door, Louis carrying their bags in front of him.

Niall holds the door open, a smile wide on his face. He tries to peek into the covered car seat, frowning when he can’t get a good look. “Already hiding her away from the world?” He asks, watching as Harry shakes his head.

“Give me a second, Niall,” He mutters, annoyance clear in his voice. It’s not that he’s upset with Niall, he’s just been this way toward everyone since the procedure. He’s stressed and he hasn’t slept at all since Genny was born, Harry thinks he might actually go crazy.

Niall glances at Louis, raising an eyebrow.

Louis quietly chuckles, shaking his head. Niall isn’t used to the attitude, but Louis is. He can’t say he blames Harry. If he had to go through what he went through, he’s sure his attitude would be a lot worse.

Louis places the bags on the floor, helping Harry take off his jacket. Harry takes a seat on the couch, carefully maneuvering the straps so he can pull Genny out of her seat. She stays asleep the whole time, her breath steady and strong.

Louis beams with pride at the sight, his eyes filling with tears. While Harry hasn’t been able to relax, Louis hasn’t been able to stop crying. He never thought he’d be this emotional, but he can’t look at his daughter for more than 5 seconds without falling in love with her all over again.

Harry settles against the couch, holding his tiny daughter against his chest. He smiles up at Niall, motioning for him to sit next to them. Louis stands against the wall, watching them. 

“She’s so tiny,” Niall whispers, trying to keep his voice calm as to not wake the sleeping child. Harry nods, his fingers tracing down to her bare feet.

“I didn’t think anything could be this tiny,” He whispers, running his thumb over the tiny toes.

After a moment of silence, Louis breaks it.

“She might look tiny, but her attitude is not. You should see her when she starts crying, swear she’s got Harry’s attitude,” He teases, watching as Harry playfully rolls his eyes.

Silence falls over the group again, each one taking their time admiring Genevieve.

Genevieve is the one to break it this time, her nose snarling up and her fists balling. She lets out an aggressive wail, her face already red. The room is quickly filled with a foul smell, thanks to the tiny tot.

Niall turns his nose up, gagging. “Alright, that’s my cue to go!” He announces, standing up. Louis immediately springs into action, diving deep in the diaper bag for a fresh diaper and wipes. He’s become a master at changing diapers, the nurses were all impressed with his speed.

“Wait!” Harry says, his head snapping up to Niall. Louis carries on, placing the diaper and wipes between his side and his armpit, holding them there as he picks Genny up. He carries her over to the ottoman, gently placing her on top. He rids her of her diaper, wiping her clean.

Genny continues crying, her tiny legs kicking as Louis finishes cleaning her. Harry slowly stands up, digging through his hospital bag. He took his camera with him, wanting to capture every single moment. He finally finds his camera, handing it to Niall.

“If you don’t mind, I really want to take some quick pictures. I can take most of them alone, but I have one where we both need to be in the picture,” Harry explains, watching as Niall nods.

“Of course,”

Louis snaps a fresh diaper on Genny, picking her up and holding her close to his warm chest. Harry instructs him to carry her into her nursery (not without telling him how to properly walk up the stairs with their child), following closely behind.

Once they’re in the nursery, Louis lays Genny in her 2300 pound crib, suddenly thankful they paid for a decent crib. He only wants the best for his daughter.

Harry moves Niall to the edge of the crib, instructing him how to use the camera. Harry gently places his hand on Genny’s stomach, watching as she fights sleep. Louis follows Harry’s lead, placing his hand next to his.

“Okay, you can take it now,” Harry says, watching as Niall carefully zooms in on their hands, quickly snapping the picture.

Thankfully, the flash was off, so Genny had no problem going back to sleep.

Niall hands the camera to Harry, smiling. “Pretty damn good if I do say so myself,” He brags, watching the pair inspect his work.

Harry smiles, clutching the camera to his chest. “Thank you, Ni,” He says, pressing a quick kiss to the Irish boy’s cheek. Niall blushes, his eyes glancing over to Louis.

“Should I tell Coach you’re still planning on coming back in July?” Niall asks, essentially sucking the air out of the room.

Since the FaceTime Louis had with the team right after Genny was born, he hasn’t thought a single thing about football. It was odd, actually. Louis hasn’t not thought about football since he was 4.

He didn’t even notice that he wasn’t thinking about it.

Until now, when Niall is asking him about coming back.

Louis swallows, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck. “Um, yeah, July,” Louis says, clearing his throat.

He can’t explain it, but it doesn’t feel right on his tongue. He feels like the words don’t belong in his mouth, like he shouldn’t be saying them.

But he pushes it to the side, because he has plenty of time before he goes back. He doesn’t have to worry about that right now, he’ll worry about it when the time gets nearer.

Although, he isn’t sure what he’s worried about. He’s going back, there’s no doubt about that. He’s been dying to get back, he has to get back.

Niall smiles, giving Louis a sharp nod. “Let me know if you need me,” Niall says, turning to walk out of the nursery. After they hear the door shut, Harry smiles over at Louis.

“I bet you’re ready to get back,”

Louis swallows again, forcing a smile. “Yeah, I am,” He lies.

Harry slowly makes his way over to Louis, wrapping his arms around his lower half. Secretly, he doesn’t want Louis to go back. He just knows he’ll be a disaster without him, he won’t know what to do with himself.

What’s going to happen when Harry goes back to work? Who’s going to watch Genny while they’re both at work? Harry’s family lives 2 hours away, so does everyone else Harry would trust to watch his child.

But he won’t voice his concerns, at least not now. He didn’t want Louis to give up football for him in the first place, he’s not going to pressure him into not going back at all. He knows Louis misses it, he knows Louis needs it.

Louis places a kiss on the underside of Harry’s jaw, closing his eyes and humming quietly. This is the first sense of peace they’ve felt in a while, they finally feel home.

For once, they aren’t worried about Luke, they aren’t worried about what could happen to Genny, they aren’t worried about anything except being together.

“How’s your belly?” Louis asks, pulling away.

Harry shrugs, pursing his lips. “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but it’s definitely uncomfortable.” He answers.

Louis grabs Harry’s hand, slowly leading him to their bedroom. “Here, lay down. I’m gonna get the heating pad and some meds for you, alright?” Louis asks, watching as Harry frowns.

“Who’s going to watch Genny if you’re down here with me?”

Louis smiles, shaking his head. He reaches over to the nightstand, grabbing the small baby monitor. “Here, you can watch her on the monitor. If she needs anything, I’ll get her,” Louis answers.

“Well, I can’t tell if she’s breathing or not,” Harry argues.

Louis digs in his pocket, immediately going to his apps. He pulls up the app that corresponds with the sock she’s wearing, the one that monitors her oxygen levels. “Are you forgetting the 300 pound sock Liam recommended to us?”

Harry sighs, resting his head against the pillow. It’s so hard for him to relax, he just wants to make sure that absolutely nothing goes wrong. “Okay, but did you double-check the locks on the window?”

Louis stares at Harry blankly, trying his best not to laugh. Their baby is on the second floor, he can’t seriously think someone will climb up the house to kidnap a child?

“H, calm down. This isn’t Hinterland,” Louis reminds him, watching as Harry rolls his eyes.

Once Harry’s settled down, Louis goes into the master bathroom, digging through the cabinets for the heating pad. He searches for the medicine, trying to find anything to help Harry’s pain. Once he’s satisfied with his findings, he makes his way back into the bedroom.

“Okay, I have Tylenol and Advil. Which one do—“

Louis looks to the bed, laughing quietly. Harry is asleep, his face smushed against the pillow. It had taken him less than 20 seconds of laying down to fall asleep. Louis can’t blame him, he feels like he could go to sleep now.

But he knows he can’t, because Harry would freak out if he found out Louis was sleeping while he was. Harry believes they should take turns sleeping, like they’re on some kind of watch. Louis thinks it’s ridiculous, but he’s not about to fight with Harry right now.


	52. Chapter 52: Illustraverat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Sedated/ Hozier
> 
> \- I put you first, and you did too/ Avery Lynch

Chapter 52: Illustraverat

May 28

“That sounds good, Mrs. Kline! I’ll email you a style guide and a confirmation of the dates. Just make sure you get the deposit back to me before April 4th, alright?” Harry says, trapping the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He stirs the formula in the bottle, listening as Mrs. Kline rambles on about locations and poses she’s interested in.

Harry doesn’t mind listening, he’s just glad he’s finally getting business again. After months of being out of the business, his photography is picking up again. Louis stays home with Genny while Harry drives around to different locations, styling his clients until their session is up.

Harry’s thankful Louis hasn’t been playing football for the past two months, he wouldn’t be able to do this if he hadn’t taken the rest of the season off.

Harry carries the warm bottle up to the nursery, smiling when he sees Louis rocking Genny in their glider. Overall, Genny has been a wonderful baby. She’s sleeping through the night already, which Harry and Louis appreciate very much.

It took them both a while to adjust to being new parents, but they’ve got the hang of it now. Louis glances up at Harry, reaching out to grab the bottle. He quickly tests the milk temperature on his wrist, only giving the bottle to the fussy child once he’s decided it’s a safe temperature.

“Yes, you can wear whatever you’d like, you don’t have to go by the style guide exactly. Just make sure you don’t wear any logos or graphic tees,” Harry explains, walking out of the room. Louis sighs, leaning his head back against the cushion.

When did Harry become the working parent while Louis tended to the child? It’s not that he doesn’t like taking care of his child, he loves it! It’s just that he never imagined that he’d be a stay-at-home parent. Louis has bigger dreams, he has things he wants to accomplish before he truly settles down.

This minor adjustment was only supposed to be temporary.

Coach Moore is putting pressure on Louis to give him a definite answer about whether or not he’ll be returning to the team. They have to draw up contracts and focus on practice, so he urged Louis to truly think about it before he signs anything.

Louis wasn’t sure if he was going to go back after the first week of being home with Genny. He couldn’t bear the thought of being without his little family throughout the week. Luckily, he came to a solution. He’ll drag Harry and Genny along with him.

It’s simple, really.

He just… Has to talk to Harry about it.

He doesn’t know why Harry wouldn’t agree to it, Genny will be almost 6 months by the start of the season, that’s plenty old enough to fly! As long as the doctor approves it, Louis doesn’t see why there would be an issue with it.

Once the child has finished her bottle, Louis places her close to his chest, slowly standing up from his seated position. He carries the child to her crib, laying her down for her first nap of the day.

He walks into Harry’s office (which used to be the guest room), leaning on the doorframe as he watches Harry scribble in his planner. He’s finally off the phone, his attention now focused on planning his next sessions.

“You know, Genny’s finally asleep…” Louis announces, his voice trailing off at the end of the sentence.

Harry hums, barely acknowledging Louis’s presence.

Louis frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. He adjusts his face, forcing another smile. If Harry doesn’t want to acknowledge him, he’ll get his attention. “It’d be the perfect opportunity to bend you over that little desk,” Louis says, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

He watches as Harry’s cheeks heat up, his eyes never leaving the page in front of him. Harry clears his throat, shifting in his seat. As tempting as that offer is (and believe me, it is tempting. The pair hasn’t had time for anything more than lazy blowjobs in the early morning hours and prodding fingers once Genny’s gone to bed), Harry can’t give in.

He’s got so much work to do and so little time to do it.

“I’m sorry, Lou, I can’t,” Harry mutters, scribbling down a note to stop by the pharmacy to get Genny’s diaper rash ointment.

Louis saunters over to the desk, leaning down and placing his hands on Harry’s shoulder. He’s behind Harry’s chair, bending down so his lips are ghosting over Harry’s neck. His hair is pulled up in another bun, giving Louis complete access to his neck.

“You’re telling me you don’t want me to pound into you from behind until you’re whimpering, begging me to stop even though we both know you love it?” Louis asks, causing Harry to fight back a moan.

He wants it, God, he wants it.

The strangled moan is enough consent for Louis, quickly latching his wet mouth to Harry’s exposed neck, lightly sucking. Harry rolls his head to the side, his eyelids fluttering closed.

Louis slowly pulls away from the skin, a smile forming on his face. “So glad I’m not gonna have to go a week without having you beg for me,” Louis whispers, not even realizing he said it.

Harry’s eyes fly open, his eyebrows furrowing. A week? Where is Louis going? And where does he think Harry is going?

“What?” Harry asks, turning around in his chair. He’s now facing a very flustered Louis, watching as he laughs nervously. He hadn’t meant to say that, he certainly hadn’t meant to bring that up at this moment.

“Oh, uh, when I go back to playing,” Louis answers.

Harry cocks his head to the side, not quite understanding. “But you will… Have to go a week,” Harry says, his voice quiet.

Louis reaches up to the back of his neck, chuckling nervously. “Well, about that. I talked to Coach and he was fine with you and Genny traveling with me when I go back,”

Harry raises a questioning eyebrow, leaning back in his chair. When was this decided? Did Louis just think he could decide for the family? That’s not the case, Harry should’ve been consulted before Louis spoke with his boss.

“What about me? What if I’m not fine with us traveling with you?” Harry asks.

Louis takes a step back, his smile fading. “Why wouldn’t you be?”

Harry scoffs, turning back around and grabbing his planner. He stands up, walking to the corner of the room. “Maybe because my business is finally picking up again. I have clients booked all the way out to November, Lou. That’s a big deal, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“Oh, come on. You can have your photography business anytime, I only have a couple more years before I’m expected to retire.” Louis argues, watching as Harry shakes his head.

“So, you’re saying your job is more important than mine?”

Louis’s face twists up in confusion, shaking his own head this time. “Where did you get that from? I’m not saying anyone’s job is more important than the other’s, I’m just saying you have an unlimited amount of time to have your business.”

Harry places his planner on the shelf, turning back to face Louis. “So you want me to give up my dream so you can go back to living your dream?”

Harry doesn’t understand why Louis expected him to just up and move around from city to city. Louis knew Harry’s been getting more serious about his business, he never expected him to ask him to give it up.

“I mean, I am the one that gave up my dream first.”

Harry scoffs again, crossing his arms over his chest. “I never asked you to do that, Lou! It was your idea. I knew I shouldn’t have let you stay behind, I knew you’d eventually use it against me one day,”

Louis rolls his eyes, continuing to shake his head. “I’m not using it against you, I’m bringing up a point. Why should I be the one that never gets to return to my dream? I never—“

“Yeah, I know, Lou. You never wanted this to begin with, you don’t have to remind me that you did me a favor by stepping up as a father figure to my daughter,” Harry says.

Louis raises his eyebrow. “Your daughter? What happened to our daughter?” Louis asks.

Harry stays silent, shaking his head. He goes to walk out of the room, but Louis beats him to the door. He grabs Harry’s wrist, pulling him back into the room.

“So, what? That’s it, then? You’re not even going to think about it?” He asks.

“Think about what? Think about giving up my business that I’ve worked for since I was 16 just so you can have your family with you when you travel? You want me to give up my business so I can sit in a hotel room and look pretty for you? What am I supposed to do in a different city every two days?”

Louis is silent for a while, his frustration quickly turning to sorrow. If Harry doesn’t come with him, he’ll have to be away from his family for days at a time. It isn’t much to some people, but Louis doesn’t want to miss even one second with his family. What is he gonna do if Genny takes her first steps while he’s away? Or says her first word while he’s playing a game?

He can’t miss it, he won’t allow himself to be his father. He won’t abandon his family, he won’t miss anything. He can’t.

But he can’t give up football, it’s the one thing that Louis feels like he’s done right in his life. He was never a good student, he wasn’t the best son (especially not when he was a rebellious teenager)… But he’s always been a good teammate and football player.

“Be with me,” Louis says, his voice barely above a whisper.

Harry slowly shakes his head, his throat tightening.

“No, Louis. That’s enough for some people, and that’s okay. But it’s not enough for me, it never will be. I have a passion for photography. I love it just as much as you love football. I can’t give it up,”

Louis tears his eyes away from Harry, dropping them to the ground underneath them. “I did it for you,” He says, a tear falling out on his warm cheek.

He gave up his dream without question, without even so much as a second thought. Because that’s what he’d do for Harry. And if Harry won’t do the same for him, what does that mean?

Harry stays silent, his body awkwardly placed halfway in the hall and halfway in the office, much like his mindset in this relationship.

Louis lifts his head up, sniffling, trying to hold back the tears. “So if I want to be with my family, I have to give up football for another season? ’S that what you’re telling me? There’s no wiggle room around it?”

Harry drops his shoulders, only now realizing how tense his muscles have been this whole time. He feels horrible, he feels selfish even. But he has to do what’s best for him. He finally feels like he could stand on his own two feet, he finally has a business he’s proud of.

Louis can jump back into his career at any time, it’s okay if he takes a year off. With Harry’s business, if he takes time off, he loses all of his clients, he loses all of his rapport that he’s built up.

He can’t let Louis’s desire to have his family with him at all times overshadow what Harry needs, what Harry has worked so hard to have.

Harry takes a deep breath, dropping his hands to his side. “Yeah, that’s what I’m saying, Lou,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm going through a lot right now. Don't worry, everything is okay! Just letting you know so if I don't update for a couple of days, you're not wondering what's going on. I plan on having one more update today (might try to squeeze in two), I won't have one Monday, I MIGHT have one Tuesday, but that all depends on my schedule. 
> 
> So, I was supposed to go home Wednesday to see my family for the first time in months, but we think one of my roommates has covid (waiting on test results). Depending on that, I might be able to update Wednesday-Sunday. But if I'm able to go home, I won't have an update until Monday.


	53. Chapter 53: Maneat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Love Me Nicely/ Avery Lynch 
> 
> \- Close as Strangers/ 5 Seconds of Summer

Chapter 53: Maneat

Louis drops his eyes back to the floor, nodding his head slowly. He knows it’s pointless to keep arguing about this, he’ll have to sort this out on his own.

“Right,” He mutters, moving to push past Harry. Once he’s out in the hallway, he digs in his pocket for his phone. There’s only one person he wants to talk to now, he’s the only person Louis thinks can help him.

He quickly searches for Zayn’s name, walking down the stairs. He makes it to the bottom of the stairs, where Richard is sleeping. On the 3rd ring, Zayn picks up.

“Hey,” Zayn answers.

“Uh, hey… Can I ask you a question?” Louis asks, glancing over his shoulder for any sign of Harry. When he doesn’t see any, he continues walking into the lower level.

“Of course, what’s up?” Zayn asks.

Louis runs his fingers through his hair, taking a deep breath. “You went back to work after adopting Riggs, right?”

“Yeah, we took 6 weeks off to get adjusted, then we both went back to work,” Zayn answers.

“Right, but Liam’s mum watched him during the day?”

“That’s right,”

Louis takes a seat on the kitchen stool, burying his head in his hands. That’s another thing that Louis has to consider. If he goes back to playing football and Harry continues his business, who’s going to watch Genny while they’re away?

Anne and Gemma are 2 hours away, Louis’s family is close by, but they all have jobs. Louis doesn’t trust anyone with his child, he doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her with a stranger. Especially not when he’s hours away and couldn’t get to her if anything happened.

“What’s going on, Louis?” Zayn asks, his voice low. Liam must be in the room, he can hear shuffling behind the speaker.

“I’m supposed to go back to playing in July, but Harry doesn’t want to come with me anymore. He wants to stay here and keep managing his business.” Louis answers, his voice low as well. He doesn’t know where Harry is, but he doesn’t want him to listen in to the conversation.

“Ah, the age-old argument. Who stays home while the other chases their dream,” Zayn says, his tone light and airy.

It relaxes Louis, Zayn’s always had a way of doing that.

“Right. I think Harry should come with me, because I gave up football for the majority of the season.” Louis explains.

Zayn is silent on the other end, leaving Louis hanging. Louis drums his fingers on the countertop, waiting for a response.

“Are you going to go back now that you know he isn’t coming with you?” Zayn asks.

Louis shifts in his seat, frowning. “Well, that’s why I wanted to call you… What do you think I should do, Z?”

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to say this. Just being away from Riggs for 8 hours a day is unbearable. He stood up for the first time while I was at work, it destroyed me. Luckily, Karen got a video. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be without him for days at a time. He’s still so young, he still needs us for so much,” Zayn explains.

Louis slowly nods, taking in the information. Upstairs, he hears Genny crying. He refocuses his attention on the phone, taking in a deep breath.

“Thanks, Z, I’ll think about it,”

The phone call ends, Louis remains at the kitchen counter. He hears Harry upstairs trying to soothe the fussy child, but it doesn’t sound like he’s successful. Louis stands up, making his way upstairs.

Louis steps into the nursery, watching as Harry tries gently bouncing the child while supporting her head. “Sh, sh, sh,” Harry whispers, trying to remain calm.

Genny very rarely gets in her fussy moods, but she only slept for maybe 30 minutes.

As soon as Harry sees Louis, he breathes a sigh of relief. “I’ve tried everything. She doesn’t want a bottle, she doesn’t need her diaper changed, nothing is wrong with her,”

Louis reaches out, taking Genny from Harry. He holds her in his arms, rocking her slowly. As soon as she sees his face, her crying subsides to gentle whimpers.

Louis takes his finger, gently rubbing the soft skin on her cheeks. “There, you just needed daddy to come get you, didn’t you?” Louis coos, a soft smile on his face. He’s never had anything need him the way Genny needs him, it’s a strange feeling to have so much responsibility.

Genny looks up at him with her big eyes, staring lovingly at the man. Harry sighs, pushing the stray curls away from his face. Part of him thinks he should just give in to Louis, because he knows he’ll never be able to take care of Genny all by himself.

Louis’s a super-dad, he takes care of everything, especially when Harry is too stressed to handle it. What is Harry supposed to do when he’s trying to get a good night of rest before work and Genny needs him? What if Harry can’t soothe his own child without Louis?

There have been many times where Harry wasn’t able to calm Genny, causing Louis to show up and handle the situation.

He can’t do that if he’s hours away.

Louis sits in the glider, holding his daughter close to him. Harry places his hands on his hips, watching the two together. “Okay, I’m going to finish working,” He announces, watching as Louis nods.

“Alright,”

With that, Harry turns to walk out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Louis stares down at the child for a bit longer, before making his decision.

He slowly digs his phone back out of his pocket, this time, dialing Coach Moore’s number. On the first ring, Coach Moore picks up.

“Tomlinson! How’s it going? Are we going to meet sometime this week to draw up the contracts?” He asks, his voice full of enthusiasm.

Louis keeps his eyes on Genny, his heart rate quickening. “Coach… How am I supposed to leave something so precious?” Louis asks, his voice cracking.

Coach Moore has been like a mentor to Louis for so long, he feels terrible letting him down. Coach Moore sighs, leaving Louis to question his thoughts.

“Is that you telling me that you aren’t joining us this season either?”

Louis’s throat tightens at the tone, never moving his eyes from Genny. If he just focuses on why he’s doing this, maybe he won’t feel so bad about it.

“I’m sorry, Coach. I just need more time. I can’t leave her, she’ll be barely 6 months. I just… Can’t do that to her,” Louis says, his voice getting caught in his throat.

He doesn’t understand why he ever considered going back, he doesn’t have the heart to leave his daughter.

Coach sighs again, leaving Louis with another silence to fill.

“I don’t blame you, son. We’ll be right here waiting when you want to come back,” He says, lifting the weight of the world off Louis’s shoulders. He knows he made the right decision to stay home with his family, even though he’s going to miss his career.

“You’ll be the first one to know when I’m ready,”

The pair talk for a little while longer before hanging up. Louis slips his phone back in his pocket, his eyes dropping to the sleeping child in his arms. He stands up, carrying her back to her crib. Maybe now she’ll be able to sleep for more than 30 minutes.

Across the hall, Harry is sitting at his desk, finding it hard to concentrate on anything other than his boyfriend in the next room. He knows he should try to compromise, but he’s fought so hard to finally be able to hold his own.

He’s fought so hard to not let people walk all over him, he can’t start making exceptions for his boyfriend. Even though Louis doesn’t have bad intentions, Harry still has to do what’s best for him.

And having his business is what’s good for him. He has to have it, he can’t give it up.

At least not right now.

Harry stands up from his chair, ready to apologize to Louis. Even though his mind hasn’t changed, he knows he should’ve handled it better.

When he reaches the door, he’s met with Louis standing in the doorway, looking just as pitiful as Harry does.

Harry opens his mouth to apologize, but Louis beats him to it. “I hate fighting with you, I’m sorry,” Louis says, his voice quiet.

Harry fights back a relieved smile, resisting the urge to reach out and hug him. “I’m sorry,” He mutters.

Before Louis can turn away, Harry gives in, reaching out to hold him. He lowers his face, meeting Louis’s ready lips.

Harry gently kisses Louis, holding him in his arms. They’ve only been arguing for maybe an hour, but it feels like days.

It always does when they’ve argued.

Louis is the first one to pull away, his lips pink and swollen from the unexpected kiss. “I’m not going, H.” Louis whispers, watching as Harry’s face crumbles.

He feels terrible that Louis won’t be able to get back to playing football, but he did what he had to do. He just doesn’t want Louis to resent him for this.

Before he can be too happy about the decision, Louis quickly brings him back down. “But let me be clear. I’m doing this for my daughter, so she’ll have a father like I never had. I’m not doing this for you, Harry,” Louis says, a slight edge to his voice.

Harry is taken aback, he didn’t expect this from Louis. Harry opens his mouth, only to close it again. He isn’t sure what to say, how to feel about the new revelation.

He finally works up the courage to say something. “Right,” He mumbles. It’s the best his brain could come up with, as pathetic as it is.

Louis reaches out again, wrapping Harry up in his arms. “And I did it partly for myself, cause I don’t think I’d be able to go without you for more than a day,” Louis says, changing the atmosphere in the room.

Harry chuckles quietly, giving in to Louis’s touch. They hold each other close for a moment, enjoying each other’s presence. They stay silent, just standing there.

Harry is the first one to break the silence, pulling back. “Is it too late to accept the earlier offer?” He asks, watching as Louis’s eyebrows furrow.

Louis’s confusion is only resolved when Harry nods to the desk, the one Louis offered to bend him over earlier. Louis’s cheeks heat up, not feeling quite as bold as he was in the moment. Louis chuckles, shaking his head.

“It’s never too late to accept that offer,” He says.


	54. Chapter 54: Opus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Particles (Piano Version)/ Nothing But Thieves
> 
> \- Angela/ The Lumineers

Chapter 54: Opus

December 24

“Mr. Tomlinson? Harry’s on line 1.” Louis’s young assistant states. Louis’s eyes flutter up from the computer in front of him, giving him a quick thumbs up. He isn’t surprised that Harry is trying to get through to him, he’s been hearing his phone going off for the past hour, but he’s been too busy to look at it.

After taking a couple of months off from work, Louis decided to go back. Not to his previous job, no. But he was able to land an office job as a statistician. Louis spends his time in the office, at a desk, in a suit, calculating numbers that tell the teams how well they’re doing.

His job is close to home and he’s off every day by 5, it’s a good opportunity. It also keeps him close to football, which he likes. Harry was the one that suggested it, actually, after seeing Louis mope around the house for the last few months, feeling out of place because he suddenly didn’t have a purpose in life except to change diapers.

Louis quickly saves his work, picking up the office phone. “Harry?” Louis asks, his eyes scanning the screen one more time to make sure everything saved properly. He’s been burned by that one too many times.

“Lou! Why haven’t you answered? I’ve been trying to get in touch with you for the past hour!!” Harry says, his voice full of excitement or horror, Louis’s not sure which.

Louis raises his eyebrow, leaning over to grab his phone. “I’m sorry, I’ve been trying to get everything taken care of before the new year,” Louis apologizes.

It’s not ideal that he’s working on Christmas Eve (or his 27th birthday for that matter), but he’s just glad he has a job.

“Genny just crawled!”

Louis’s eyes widen, sitting up in his chair. Crawled? Genny’s 9 months old, Louis thought they had a couple more months before she decided to be on the move. Is the house baby-proofed enough? Is Richard going to be okay now that Genny is on the move and can terrorize him more?

“I sent you videos, go watch them,” Harry says, a smile evident by his tone.

Louis quickly navigates to his messages, clicking on the first video he sees. Genny is crawling all around the house, like she’s been doing it all her life. Louis listens to her giggle as Harry cheers her on behind the camera, encouraging her to keep going.

Louis’s smile quickly fades, being replaced by a melancholy feeling.

He was supposed to be there for that. That’s the whole reason he didn’t go back to his old job without his family, he wanted to be home to see those kinds of things. How is he any better than his dad if he’s not there for his kids?

Louis suddenly feels a wave of regret wash over him, reminding him that his daughter might’ve been better off without him at all. At least she would’ve had a chance at having a dad who’s actually around.

“Isn’t that amazing?” Harry asks, reminding Louis that he’s still on the phone.

He clears his throat, slowly blinking back to life. “Y-Yeah, that’s great, H. Will you tell her that daddy’s proud of her and he’ll be home in an hour?” Louis says, hoping the phone has distorted his voice enough to hide the fact that he’s crying.

Harry smiles, looking down where Genny is crawling around even now. He knows since she started crawling, she won’t stop and they’ll have a mess on their hands. “D’ya hear that, Genny? Daddy’s gonna be here soon, you can give him your present!” Harry announces, watching as the little girl coos up at him, just happy to be with her mum.

“And maybe after she goes to bed, I can give you my present,” Harry says, lowering his voice.

Louis laughs quietly behind the phone, resuming his work. “I can’t wait,”

Harry smiles, sitting back down at his desk, clicking his computer back to life. “I’ll see you then, be careful,” Harry says.

“I love you,”

“I love you more, Lou,”

-

After an hour of trying to entertain himself, Harry has finally settled on editing some pictures from last month’s shoot. He’s got an opportunity to have his shoot in an online blog, but he’s got to have it done before the new year.

He’s never had an opportunity like this before, he’s finding it hard to believe that someone actually appreciates his work. Louis’s had faith in him all along, but it’s still hard to believe.

Genevieve coos from her playpen, rolling over on her stomach. “Are you excited for Christmas tomorrow?” Harry asks, keeping his eyes on the computer. He knows it’s silly to ask a baby questions, but Riggs started talking a while ago and Liam said the key was to have a conversation with them throughout the day so they get used to hearing words.

Genny babbles nonsense, much like Harry expected her to. He smiles to himself, listening as the front door opens. Harry immediately shoots out of his chair, barreling toward Louis. He’s missed him so much while he was at work, he always does. Harry can work from home most days of the week, only having to leave when he has a photoshoot with a client. Even then, he only has to be out of the house for 2 hours, tops.

But having Louis gone for 8 hours a day, it’s taking a toll on him. Luckily, Genny is a pretty good baby, so he doesn’t have too much trouble with her when she’s alone. She still prefers her dad, but she’s warming up to Harry.

Louis watches Harry run down the hallway, bracing himself for impact. He drops the wrapped presents to the ground, opening his arms. Harry laughs and throws his arms around Louis, burying his face in his neck. He slowly inhales his scent, closing his eyes.

“Happy birthday,” Harry grumbles, causing Louis to laugh.

“You’ve said that like 5 times today. You know you don’t have to say it every time you talk to me, right?” He asks, draping his arms around Harry’s waist.

Harry pulls his face away from his neck, leaning back to look in Louis’s eyes. “Yes, I do. It’s horrible you had to work on your birthday, I’m trying to make it a little better,”

Louis smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He pulls away, his eyes immediately searching for his daughter. As soon as he spots her, the small child starts squealing and holding her arms up. Louis makes his way over to her, picking her up and lifting her above his head. He places several quick kisses on her cheeks, listening to her giggle.

“There’s my girl!” He says, lowering her to his hip. She nuzzles her face in his shoulder, resting her sleepy head on him.

Harry’s eyes drop to the floor, where he sees several presents by the door. “Did you buy yourself presents?” Harry asks, lowering himself to pick them up.

Louis carries Genny to the kitchen, rummaging through the cupboards to find her a snack. Harry just fed her, but Louis loves spoiling his daughter and he knows she wants a snack.

“No, I stopped on the way home to get Genny some last minute presents,” Louis answers.

Harry raises an eyebrow, looking over at the tree. There are probably 50 presents under the tree, most of them for Genny. Louis may have gone a little overboard for Christmas, but he can afford to.

Harry places the new presents under the tree, his mind suddenly remembering that he bought more presents last week. He put them in the closet, he didn’t have time to wrap them right away.

“You’re going to spoil her,” Harry says, making his way into the master bedroom. He hears Louis laugh from the kitchen. “No such thing,”

Harry playfully rolls his eyes, going into the closet. He lifts his hand to the top shelf, feeling around to find the presents. He doesn’t feel anything, Louis must’ve found them and wrapped them. He keeps searching, making sure he didn’t leave anything up here.

His hand eventually lands on a small box, so he pulls it toward him. Harry raises an eyebrow, examining the box.

It’s a small black box, with a small silver bow on it. “Hm,” He mumbles, carefully opening the box. He doesn’t remember buying anything this small, but Louis might’ve bought it.

When he opens the box, he sees a small gold ring in the center. Harry’s eyes widen, carefully picking the ring up. It’s a simple ring, but it’s beautiful. Underneath, there’s a receipt. Harry picks it up, looking for the date it was purchased.

November 24, 2020

NOVEMBER?

It’s December 2021, it’s almost 2022.

Louis has had the ring for over a year and hasn’t proposed?

Harry swallows a breath, quickly placing the receipt and ring back in their position, placing the box back on the shelf.

Why hasn’t Louis proposed? Did he change his mind? Is that why he didn’t propose when he got the ring?

Is Louis second-guessing that he wants to marry Harry?

Harry quickly wipes at his eyes, trying to stop any tears from falling. He can’t think about this, he has a birthday to celebrate.

He walks out into the main room, watching as Louis crawls on the floor with Genny, still in his suit.

“You’re doing so good, you’ll be playing football in no time!” Louis says, rolling over on his back. Genny giggles and crawls to him, crawling on his chest. Harry sniffles, trying his best to fake a smile.

“Y’need to get out of your suit, Lou. She’s gonna start thinking it’s alright to play around in dress clothes,” Harry teases, leaning down to pick the child up.

Louis pouts, looking up at Harry from his position on the floor. “Why don’t you put her down for an early nap and go ahead and give me my present?” He pouts.

Harry chuckles lightly, shaking his head. “Nope, you’ve got to open yours from Genny first. And you have to wait through dinner, and you have to wait until Santa comes,” Harry says, carrying his daughter to the couch. He places her on the couch, placing the present right beside her.

Louis groans, sitting up. “Oh, come on, we both know Santa isn’t real,”

Harry gasps, looking at Genny. “It’s alright, Genny, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” He says.

Louis laughs, standing up and walking over to Harry. He wraps his arms around his waist from behind, placing a small kiss to his clothed shoulder. “Fine, I’ll wait,” He mutters, leaning around Harry to look at his daughter.

“And I totally lied when I said Santa isn’t real,”

Harry giggles, pulling away from Louis and sitting next to Genny. “Go ahead, open it. She worked very hard to save up the money for it,”

Louis picks up the wrapped box, laughing. “Oh, she did, did she?”

Harry hums in agreement as Louis opens the box. He sees a small canvas with Genny’s paint covered hands and feet on it. There’s a small message under the hands/feet.

Louis smiles, reading over the message.

“I thought it’d be cute to keep in your hotel room,” Harry announces, his voice suddenly quieter than before.

Louis glances at Harry, a questioning look on his face.

Harry takes a deep breath, rubbing his hands over the fabric of his jeans. He’s been thinking about this for a while, he’s talked to his whole family about it. He should’ve done it a long time ago, he sees how miserable Louis is.

“I was thinking you could go back in September, if you wanted to,” Harry says.

Louis damn near drops the present.

He places the canvas on the arm of the couch, his eyes filling with tears.

Did Harry just say what he thinks he said? Did Harry just tell him he could go back to playing football?

“What about you? What about Genny?”

Harry smiles softly, standing up. “I got a second shooter. I was thinking about having them do the shoots for me, while I still do the editing and run the business. Of course, I’d pay them, but I’d still be in charge of the business. I’d be able to travel with you, I’d still have a job to keep me entertained. I’ve just missed you so much, Lou, and I know Genny has, too. I should’ve done this a long time ago, I don’t know why I haven’t. I’ve been so terrible to you, Lou, and I see that now. I—“

Before Harry can say anything more, Louis is wrapping him up in a deep kiss, holding him closer than he ever has before.

He doesn’t care what’s happened before, he only cares about where they’re going from here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, a lot to unpack here! 
> 
> To start, I wanted to let you guys know that I decided to change the ending up a little bit. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I'll let you know on the last chapter what my original plan was. 
> 
> Second of all, there will probably be around 7 chapters left. 
> 
> Third of all, I won't be able to write from Wednesday-Sunday. I'm going home for the first time in a while, so I'll be super busy! 
> 
> Lastly, I wanted to acknowledge something. I do realize this relationship is not perfect, I realize that Harry has made some mistakes and is being selfish/throwing it in Louis's face that Genny isn't his real daughter. You also have to see that Louis often brings up the fact that he never wanted to be a dad in the first place. Neither one is perfect in this relationship. I wanted to capture what a lot of people go through, especially when two people have very different dreams. In my own relationship, it seemed like my boyfriend was the only one sacrificing things so I could live out my dream. That was because I came from a very toxic relationship (much like Harry in this story) and was scared that if I sacrificed even one thing, it would lead me right back to where I felt like I was constantly having to sacrifice things. HOWEVER, after two years of being together, I have sacrificed a lot of things for my boyfriend, because I realized that's how relationships work. You have to keep in mind that Harry has never been in a healthy relationship and Louis has never been in a relationship at all. This relationship isn't going to be perfect, they're still figuring things out together. There are going to be times in real relationships where one person is being selfish and doesn't realize it until it's too late. I'M 100% NOT SAYING TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS OR TOXIC BEHAVIORS ARE OKAY. I'm saying that nobody is perfect, therefore no relationships are perfect. I wanted to capture an adult relationship where two people have different dreams and they eventually work through their differences to compromise and come into a healthy relationship. Basically, I had to have them both mess up so that we could see character development in the upcoming chapters. 
> 
> As always, I love reading your comments and getting constructive criticism! It truly helps me see things I might not have seen and get a feel for how you're looking at this story! Just wanted to put out there my thoughts/why I do certain things in this story!


	55. Chapter 55: Ambulate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Please Stay/ Francois Klark 
> 
> \- Only You (Acoustic)/ Little Mix

Chapter 55: Ambulate

March 24

“Good morning, love,” Louis whispers, reaching into Genny’s crib. The small child gazes out of the crib, her eyes set on her dad. Louis clasps his hands under her arms, pulling her up to his chest. The sleepy girl rests her head on his chest, immediately sticking her thumb in her mouth.

It’s a bad habit Harry warned Louis to put a stop to, but Louis can’t bring himself to pull the finger out of her mouth.

Louis gently rubs her back, nuzzling his cheek against her head. “Do you want to go say hi to mummy?” Louis asks, his voice still soft from sleep.

“Mmmm,” Genny mumbles, the sound muffled by her thumb. Lately, she’s been trying to talk more and more, but she can’t quite get the hang of it. Harry wants to take her to a speech therapist simply because Riggs started talking when he was 10 months old, but Louis isn’t worried about it.

His girl does things at her own pace, he knows she’ll talk when she’s ready to. Besides, Genny started walking when she was 9 months old, she’s ahead on certain things.

Louis carries his daughter into the bedroom, flipping the light on as he enters. Harry immediately groans, covering his head with the pillow. “Oh, come on. Your daughter wants to see you,” Louis says, walking over to the bed.

He places Genny on the bed, watching as she stumbles over the sheets to get to her mum. When she finally reaches Harry, she falls forward, her little hands grabbing onto his bare chest. “Well, my daughter should know I need extra sleep today, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Louis smiles, shaking his head. He lays back in bed, pulling his family closer to him. Genny gets situated in bed, sticking her thumb back in her mouth. Harry pulls the pillow off of his head when he hears the suctioning sound, reaching up and pulling the child’s hand away from her mouth.

Genny’s lip instantly starts trembling, her big eyes searching for her daddy. Louis frowns, reaching out to console the child. “That’s horrible, H,”

Harry smacks Louis’s hand away, sitting up in bed. “She’s not even crying, she’s faking it!” Harry exclaims, watching as Louis stares at their daughter.

Never in a million years did Harry think he was going to be the parent that was hard on the child. He thought Louis would discipline and scold their child, Harry would get the fun things such as sneaking them ice cream before dinner.

It seems it’s the other way around.

Harry doesn’t like watching his child cry, he hates it! But he knows what thumb-sucking can do to a child’s teeth and he doesn’t want to have to spend Genny’s entire childhood in a dentist’s office.

Louis pulls Genny closer to him, rubbing her back. “You can’t let her do it just for today? Think of it as a birthday present,”

Harry rolls his eyes, chuckling quietly. “She gets to suck her thumb AND get a million presents? Not counting the presents our families will bring,”

Tomorrow is Genny’s first birthday, Harry has been planning the party for months. Louis thinks the party is a little ridiculous for such a small child, she won’t even remember it. But Harry insisted on having the biggest and best for his daughter.

And with Louis going back to playing football in July, he can afford it.

As soon as Harry told Louis he could go back to playing football, he’s been counting down the days. He gets to have his family with him and live out his dream, what could go wrong?

Louis laughs, feeling as Genny shifts against him. “She deserves it. Plus, this might be our only chance to throw a first birthday party.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows, turning over on his side to face Louis. He props his head up on his hand, getting eye-level. “Why would this be our only chance? Thought you wanted more kids?” Harry asks.

Shortly after Genny was born, Louis was already trying to knock Harry up again. So much so that Harry practically had to lock himself in the bathroom when he was going through his heat. It was a little ridiculous, honestly.

Louis reaches out with his hand that’s wrapped around Genny, his fingers quickly finding Harry’s curls. His hair has gotten so much longer lately, but Louis is in love with it. “I do, want as many as you’ll give me… Just don’t know if we’re gonna be able to do that if I go back to playing football,”

Harry only slightly panics at this news. If they can’t have more kids while he’s playing football, they’ll have to wait until he retires at 35. Harry’s fertility rates will have gone down significantly by then, Louis’s will be on their way to declining.

Harry knows for a fact that he wants at least 3 kids, if not more. It’s always been his dream to be a mother, he loves having kids.

“I mean, we could figure it out if we absolutely had to,” Harry says, struggling to keep his voice calm. They’ve both been working on communicating better, especially now that Genny is starting to be more alert.

Louis shrugs, dropping his hand from Harry’s curls to his shoulders, gently massaging. He wants more kids, he wouldn’t mind having 12 little babies running around his house. He’s completely in love with Genny, he can only imagine how fun it will be to have more.

But if Louis is going to go back to playing football, he wants to do it right. He wants to completely be there, not having to take off from any games because of newborn babies or complications with a pregnancy.

And if Harry is pregnant, he can’t fly, so Louis will have to be without his family again.

But he doesn’t feel like bringing up all of this today, he knows Harry is already stressed from planning Genny’s party.

“Yeah,” Louis mumbles, giving Harry a soft smile. Harry smiles back, not quite convinced by Louis’s response.

He sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Thankfully Genny went back to sleep, so they have a little bit longer to themselves this morning. Harry has a few last-minute things he has to do before he starts making breakfast for Genny, so he needs to get started now.

He walks to the closet, pulling several more presents down from the shelf. Louis has been hiding them up there, thinking Harry won’t notice if he hides them away. Harry has noticed, he just hasn’t said anything about it.

Harry’s hand lands on a smaller box, a frown instantly covering his face. He knows what the box is, it’s all he’s been able to think about for the past 3 months.

Louis has had the ring for 1 year and 4 months exactly.

In that time, Louis hasn’t mentioned anything about marriage or engagements.

Harry has tried not to think about it too much, he knows Louis loves him. He also knows Louis wants to spend the rest of his life with him, because they talk about it all the time.

Harry just doesn’t know why he hasn’t proposed yet.

He grabs the rest of the presents, carrying them to Genny’s nursery. He arranges the presents in the corner of the room, trying to organize them the best he can.

He hears Louis’s phone ringing, listening as he answers it.

“Hey, Ni.” Louis answers, listening as Genny mumbles against him.

“What time is the party tomorrow?” Niall asks, causing Louis to roll his eyes. Louis has told him a million times that the party is at lunch time tomorrow. He’s tempted to write it on his hand so he doesn’t forget.

“It’s at 12, Niall. It hasn’t changed from the last time you asked me.”

Niall laughs behind the phone, throwing his head back. “It’s totally alright if I bring Charlotte, right?”

Louis furrows his eyebrows, bringing his hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “Who’s Charlotte?”

“We’ve been hooking up the past couple of nights, thought I’d bring her to my goddaughter’s birthday party to increase my chances of getting laid again tomorrow night,” Niall explains.

Louis groans, his eyes widening. “First of all, she’s not your goddaughter. I’ve told you a million times Gemma is her godmother and Zayn is her godfather,” Louis explains.

He hears Niall scoffing in the background, inspiring him to continue. “Second of all, you’re not using my daughter as bait to get laid.” Louis says, his voice harsh.

Once he calms down, he continues. “And bringing a one-night-stand to a child’s birthday party, Niall? You’re sure she’s not more than a one-night-stand?”

“She’s not exactly a one-night-stand, I’ve known her for a couple of years. We just ended up hooking up one night a couple of weeks ago, she’s been spending the night at my place on the weekends.” Niall explains.

Louis raises an eyebrow, trying his best to stifle a laugh. Niall is basically in a relationship with this Charlotte girl and he doesn’t even know it. “You realize it’s more than hooking up if they’re spending the night regularly and taking them to family events, right?”

It’s Niall’s turn to roll his eyes now. “Right, says the one who’s been in love with Harry for 20 years and won’t propose to him.”

Louis drops his smile, slightly sitting up. Genny huffs against his skin, turning over on her belly. Niall has been bothering Louis about proposing since he bought the ring, but Louis doesn’t feel ready. It’s not that he doesn’t want to marry Harry, he does!

He’s wanted to marry him for as long as he can remember, he even bought the ring. He planned to propose on Harry’s 24th birthday, last year. Now, Harry’s 25th birthday just passed and he still hasn’t asked.

Louis is just scared, that’s all. He’s just now feeling like he’s getting good at being a father, he doesn’t know if he’ll be a good husband. There’s a lot of pressure that comes with getting married, Louis doesn’t know if he can handle it.

He just wants things to be perfect, that’s all.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Louis mumbles, clearing his throat.

“What happens if he finds the ring, huh? How are you gonna explain that? You just gonna tell him you were planning on proposing to him and then you changed your mind? Let me know when that happens, I want a front row seat,”

Louis rolls his eyes again, shaking his head. “I didn’t change my mind, you know that. I still want to, I’m just nervous,” Louis explains.

As if on cue, Harry rounds the corner, pushing his curls off of his forehead. Louis immediately puts on a fake smile, not wanting Harry to know something is wrong.

“I’m nervous about coming back to football, give me a break. I haven’t played in months,” Louis lies, hoping Niall will leave him alone. He knows Harry can’t hear what Niall is saying on the other end of the phone, but he wants out of this conversation as soon as possible.

“Wha—“

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ni,” Louis interrupts, hanging up. He feels bad about hanging up, he was genuinely curious about this Charlotte girl, but he didn’t want to take any chances.

Harry lays back in bed, pulling Genny close to him. Her curls stick to Harry’s sweaty chest, causing Harry to wipe her curls back.

“What do you think about a nap?” Harry mumbles, his eyes already closing. He wore himself out just by moving the presents, it’s embarrassing, really.

Louis smiles to himself, snuggling deeper into the bed. “We haven’t even been awake for an hour,” He teases.

“Big day tomorrow,” Harry reminds Louis, his breathing already changing. He quickly falls asleep, leaving Louis alone with his thoughts. Louis snuggles into Harry, being careful not to squish Genny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIIIII!
> 
> I'm super sorry it took so long to post this chapter, I went home for my birthday and was super busy. But I'm back now, so I'll be able to update like normal. 
> 
> It looks like we have about 6 chapters left until the end of this fic, so thank you for sticking around with me! 
> 
> Make sure to follow my Twitter @/Only_theangel for updates!


	56. Chapter 56: Rogationem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- We Fell In Love In October/ Girl In Red
> 
> \- Kiwi/ Harry Styles

Chapter 56: Rogationem

March 25

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Niall shouts, bursting through the door with presents piled high to the ceiling.

Genny is sitting in her highchair, her crown (Yes, Harry insisted his daughter wear a crown for her 1st birthday) perched high on her head. She stares blankly at her Uncle Niall, her tiny fists already finding their way into her smash cake.

Louis helps Niall with the presents, placing them with her other ones. Louis’s family has already arrived, along with Harry’s. Liam and Zayn are going to be a little late, they called and told Harry that Riggs wasn’t cooperating this morning.

Harry leans down to Genny, pressing a kiss to her chubby cheek. “Can you say ‘thank you’, sweetheart?” He asks, watching as Genny lifts her cake-covered fist to her mouth. She mumbles something along the lines of ‘bmph’, which is enough for Harry.

Louis glances around the room, watching as Lottie walks in the door. He immediately smiles, making his way over to her. “I thought mum said you couldn’t make it?” Louis asks, wrapping her in a hug.

Lottie chuckles nervously, her eyes darting over to Niall. Louis keeps his smile up, looking around the room. “And Niall, where’s the girl you were gonna bring? Charlotte?” He asks.

Silence falls over the room, causing Harry to glance up at the scene. His eyes immediately find Lottie standing next to Niall, the color drained from both of their faces.

“Oh, shit,” Harry mumbles to himself, making his way over to Louis. The rest of the guests resume their actions, fawning over the small child. Johannah is pinching her cheeks while Anne and Gemma help her open presents.

Harry places his hand on Louis’s back, trying to soothe him. “Louis, why don’t you come over here with me?” Harry asks, glancing at Lottie, who’s nodding her head.

“I think that’s a great idea,”

Louis furrows his eyebrows, not quite sure what’s going on. Why do they look nervous? Where is Charlotte?

Louis stares at the pair for a while, before the realization hits him.

His sister’s name is Charlotte.

Louis immediately drops his smile, his eyes finding Niall. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” He breathes out, his tone harsh.

His best friend has been sleeping with his baby sister?

No.

Not happening.

Louis knows Niall goes through girls like they’re nothing, he knows what Niall is like in the bedroom (thanks to Niall’s habit of oversharing) and he doesn’t want his baby sister to have any part in that.

Before he can say too much, Harry is dragging him to the center of the room, trying his best to distract him. “Honey, just try to calm down. I don’t need to bail you out of jail on our daughter’s first birthday,” Harry mumbles.

“Really? I think that’d be hilarious,” Gemma encourages, nudging Louis with her elbow. Louis gives her a cheeky smile, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

“I think so, too. Why don’t we ask Genny?” He says, turning to his daughter. He squats in front of the highchair, trying to get his daughter’s attention.

“Wouldn’t that be funny? Seeing daddy strangle Uncle Niall?” He asks, causing the little girl to giggle. Harry’s eyes widen, tapping Louis on the shoulder.

“Enough of that, before you turn out daughter into a psycho,” He warns.

Louis takes deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He will deal with Niall and Lottie later, he just wants to enjoy his daughter’s birthday party. He only has a couple more months before he has to start devoting all of his time to football again, he wants to make these months count.

Louis stands up, threading his arm around Harry’s waist and pulling him closer. “Can you believe we made that adorable little human?” Louis asks, casings Harry’s heart to skip a beat.

Louis’s been amazing, he treats Genevieve like she’s his own. Harry couldn’t have gotten luckier than he did.

Harry smiles, pressing a light kiss to Louis’s puckered lips. “Nope, I can’t,” He says.

He pulls away, taking a deep breath. “I also can’t believe I’m about to do this,” He whispers, his voice starting to shake.

Louis raises an eyebrow, suddenly confused. “What’s going on, love?”

Before Harry can answer, he’s dropped to a knee in the middle of the room. He quickly searches for his back pocket, his fingers finding the loose ring.

Yes, this might be a bad idea, but Harry couldn’t wait anymore. Louis has had the ring for almost 1 year and 1/2, it’s about damn time someone proposes.

Louis’s eyes widen, widening even more when he sees Harry holding the ring he bought over a year ago. He had no idea Harry knew about the ring, much less was planning to propose to Louis.

“Lou, I couldn’t wait for you to do this any longer. I love you, I know I want to be with you for the rest of my life. And I know you want that, too, you’re just scared,” Harry starts, his voice no longer shaky.

Louis’s eyes start to tear up, his throat tightening.

“But you don’t have to be scared, baby, because I’ve got you. We’ve never been perfect, we’ll never be perfect. But that’s alright, because we don’t have to be. You’re enough for me and I hope I’m enough for you.”

“You are, you’re more than enough,” Louis interrupts, barely recognizing his own voice. He knows their relationship hasn’t always been roses and rainbows, but it’s so full of love they can barely stand it.

Harry smiles, the ring shaking between his fingers. For a moment, he’s reminded he’s in a room full of his friends and family, adding more pressure than he thought he could ever handle. “I want to marry you, Lou. So say you’ll marry me, too,”

Louis’s smile is almost too big for his face, not quite believing that this is actually happening. The boy he fell in love with 20 years ago is proposing to him in a room full of their friends and family while their daughter is wearing a tiara.

It’s not exactly how Louis pictured this moment. He always thought he’d be the one having to convince Harry to marry him, but this is perfect. This is everything Louis has ever wanted and he didn’t even realize it.

“Yes, of course, Harry,” Louis says, barely holding back a sob. Harry’s smile somehow gets even bigger as he stands up, wrapping his arms around Louis. Louis holds him close, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve proposed a long time ago,” Louis says, a pang of guilt running through him. Harry was right, Louis does want to be with Harry forever, he just doesn’t know if he’s good enough to do that.

Harry pulls away only slightly, shaking his head. “No, I’m glad I did it. You’ve done so much for our family, Louis, this needed to be me,”

Suddenly, the sound of cheers and applause becomes too much for the small child, causing her to let out a loud wail. Harry pulls away from Louis, picking his daughter up. He bounces her slightly, wiping her eyes. “Shh, it’s alright…” Harry whispers, glancing over at Louis.

Anne and Gemma are surrounding him, bombarding him with kisses and hugs. “You’ve always been my son, Louis, but now you’re really going to be family!” Anne says, her own cheeks wet with tears.

Gemma gives Louis a slight pinch on his bicep, teasing him. “Does this mean I’m gonna have to leave without seeing you strangle Niall?’

Louis laughs, throwing his head back. He looks across the room to Niall, pointing his finger at him. “Nope! That part’s coming later,”

-

After the excitement of the party died down, Niall and Lottie snuck out before Louis had a chance to talk to them. He’ll have to find time at a later date to berate Niall, but right now, Louis is focused on one thing only.

And that’s having Harry straddling his lap, his pink lips sucking at the soft skin on his neck. Tonight was an easy night for bedtime, Genny was exhausted from partying all day.

After her bath, she dozed off in Harry’s arms for a while before Louis insisted Harry join him in watching the latest football game.

That didn’t last long before Harry’s hands found their way to the crotch of Louis’s sweats, causing Louis to perk up.

After many sloppy kisses and wandering hands, Harry is now shirtless in Louis’s laps, Louis’s mouth attached to his nipples.

Harry throws his head back, tangling his hands in Louis’s hair. He hums as he feels Louis gently bite the swollen nub, his small hands rubbing Harry’s sore back.

“Feels so good, Lou,” Harry moans, slowly grinding his hips on Louis. Louis’s eyelids flutter closed, completely immersing himself in this feeling.

Harry’s been handsy lately, but Louis isn’t going to complain. Raising a toddler means you take whatever you can get in the bedroom, and this is the furthest Louis and Harry have gotten in weeks.

Louis brings his hand up to Harry’s chest, rubbing his thumb over the wet nipple. He sucks a hickey onto Harry’s chest, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him closer. “Need you so fucking bad,” He mumbles, bucking his hips up to meet Harry’s grinds.

Harry smirks, lifting Louis’s head up. “Yeah? Need to fuck your fiancé?” Harry asks, causing Louis to laugh at his fiancé’s horrible jokes.

“Yeah, I do,” He plays along, standing up and wrapping Harry’s legs around his waist. Harry giggles and nuzzles his face in Louis's neck, placing soft kisses there.

Once the pair reach the bedroom, Louis lays Harry on his back, crawling on top of him. Harry quickly tugs Louis’s shirt off, needing to feel Louis’s skin on his. Thankfully, Harry is only wearing thin shorts, so Louis can feel him through his sweats.

“Need to taste you,” Harry mumbles, already feeling floaty. He can’t help it, he’s just so much more sensitive to everything lately. Louis takes the hint, rolling over on his back. Harry lowers himself to the edge of the bed, laying on his stomach.

As soon as Louis’s sweats are far down enough, Harry’s wet lips are finding their way to Louis’s puckered hole. Harry uses his hand to spread Louis apart, rutting his hips into the bed.

Louis moans, arching his back off of the bed. He clenches his fists at his sides, grasping at anything he can find. He’s struggling to keep quiet, but he doesn’t want to take a chance on waking his child up.

He doesn’t want anything interrupting this moment.

Harry gets Louis wet enough so he can easily slip a finger in, catching Louis off guard. Louis’s gotten fingered before, but it doesn’t happen often. Most guys Louis has sex with assumes he doesn’t like being fingered because he’s a top, but he loves it.

Louis allows a quiet moan to slip past his lips, feeling as Harry licks around his finger, curling his finger inside of him.

Harry continues rutting into the sheets, desperate for any type of friction. If Louis doesn’t get inside him soon, he thinks he might blow a load in his shorts.

Louis’s jaw goes slack, his eyebrows furrowing. “Fuck, Harry, need to feel you,” He grumbles, trying to catch his breath.

Harry slowly pulls his finger out, wiping his hand on the sheets. Louis pulls him closer, ridding him of his shorts. Louis pulls his sweats the rest of the way down, not sure if he can wait any longer.

Louis reattaches his lips to Harry’s, pushing his tongue inside to feel his mouth. The warmth immediately relaxes Harry, his legs hooking onto Louis’s hips, silently begging him to get on with it.

Louis slowly pushes into Harry, moaning as he feels him stretch around him. Louis’s hips instantly stutter as he stills inside of Harry, dropping his face to Harry’s chest.

“Missed you so much,” Harry whimpers, using his legs to pull Louis’s waist closer, feeling as he pushes in deeper.

Louis holds himself up as he slowly rocks into Harry, his breathing getting heavier by the second. Harry wraps his arms around Louis’s neck, desperate to feel him even closer. Lately, it’s been like Harry hasn’t been able to get enough of Louis.

It’s almost like Harry’s in heat.

But he can’t be, because his doctor told him his heat won’t be regular for a while after he gave birth to Genny.

“So fucking tight,” Louis whispers, feeling as the sweat runs down his face. He holds Harry closer, allowing himself to become completely immersed in this feeling, not wanting to ever forget how this moment felt.


	57. Chapter 57: Accidente

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Yellow Lights/ Harry Hudson 
> 
> \- On Again/ Honors

Chapter 57: Accidente

May 25

Shit.

SHIT.

Harry stares at the papers for a little while longer, trying to convince himself that it’s not real.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. He went to the doctor this morning to have them X-Ray his ankle to make sure it was healing properly. After he sprained it over a year ago, he’s been having pain with it. Harry’s been putting off going to the doctor because he thought it was fine, but Louis finally convinced him to go.

Louis wanted to make sure Harry was in perfect health to fly with the team since they only have a little over a month before practices start again.

The doctor ran several tests to make sure Harry was healthy enough to withstand an X-Ray, but they never got around to the actual X-Ray part before Harry learned the news.

Harry glances in the rearview mirror at Genny, who’s kicking her feet against the seat. Guilt immediately washes over Harry as he stares at his daughter. She’s so little, she’s still such a baby, how is this going to affect her?

Harry’s next thoughts go to Louis.

How is he supposed to tell him? How will Louis react? Will Louis be upset?

Harry sighs, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. “Shit,” He mutters, placing the papers in the passenger seat. Before he can wallow in his self-pity for too long, his phone rings. Harry glances at his screen, swallowing a gulp before working up enough courage to answer it.

“Hi, love! How’d it go?” Louis asks, his voice as chipper as ever.

He has no idea what’s coming.

Harry rubs his sweaty hand on the fabric of his jeans (Yes, his skinny jeans. He can finally fit in them again), trying to calm himself down. “It was fine,” Harry answers, trying to be as vague as possible.

Part of Harry wants to go ahead and tell Louis the outcome, but he doesn’t want to give him the news over the phone.

“How’s the ankle?”

Harry glances back in the rearview mirror, listening to Genny giggle and mumble words to herself. She’s 14 months now and she still doesn’t quite have the talking down. She mumbles all day long, but she’s not forming any actual words.

Harry has an appointment scheduled soon with a speech pathologist, just to make sure no underlying issues are causing her to be non-verbal.

Louis swears she’s fine, but Harry just wants to be extra sure.

“It’s alright,” Harry says, resting the phone between his head and his shoulder. He starts the car, instantly trying to turn the air down. The cold air blows out onto his face, cooling him down.

There’s a moment of silence between the two of them, neither one sure where to go from here. Louis expected Harry to give him full details about the appointment, he knows how worried Louis’s been about it.

Louis clears his throat. “Right. Do you care if I go out to celebrate with the boys?”

Harry furrows his eyebrows, backing out of his parking spot. He double-checks each mirror, wanting to be extra safe. “Celebrate?” He asks.

“Yeah, they won Best Season, so they’re gonna go pub-crawling,” Louis responds, adding a quiet laugh to the end. He hasn’t been out with his team in a while, he thinks it’ll be good for him to get out of the house and to talk about something other than diapers.

Harry gnaws on his bottom lip, turning out of the parking lot. He doesn’t want Louis to go, not because he doesn’t want him to go out with his friends or get drunk, but because he wanted to get this over with. Now, he’ll have to wait until at least tomorrow, because he doesn’t want to ruin his night before he goes out.

Harry takes a deep breath, trying his best to sound supportive. “That’s fine, Lou. I’ll be home in 10,”

-

Once Harry got back home, faked his way through a quick dinner, and gave Genny her night bath, he sat on the couch to watch a movie alone, trying to calm himself down. He was barely able to eat anything, barely able to keep up with the conversation. Thankfully, Louis was too excited about seeing his friends to notice anything was wrong.

He did notice that Harry wasn’t eating, so Harry chalked it up to being stressed about planning the wedding. It’s not a total lie, it is stressful to plan a wedding. They’re planning to get married after Louis finishes his season, so they only have a little over a year left to plan.

It’s now 12 am and Louis still isn’t home. Harry is mindlessly clicking through venues, trying to decide which ones to narrow it down to. Harry thought about going to sleep, but he wants to make sure Louis gets home safe.

Harry sighs, shutting his computer. As soon as he does, he hears a loud bang outside. He immediately jumps up, going to the door. He watches as Louis stumbles inside, the Uber pulling out of the driveway.

Harry opens the door, holding it open with his hip. Louis smiles as soon as he sees Harry, opening his arms. “Missed you so much, wish you were there,” He mumbles, attempting to wrap his arms around Harry, but missing.

Harry grabs onto his hand, leading him inside. “I’m glad you had fun, babe,” Harry says, leading him into their master bedroom. Louis lets go of his hand, turning around to walk up the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Harry asks, crossing his arms. He doesn’t mind when Louis’s tipsy, but when he’s drunk, that’s a whole different story.

“Gettin’ my little girl,” Louis slurs, tip-toeing up the stairs.

  
“No, she’s asleep,” Harry protests, following him up the stairs. Genny has only been asleep for a couple of hours, he doesn’t want Louis to wake her up and keep her up the whole night.

Louis ignores Harry, stumbling into Genny’s nursery. Before Harry can stop him, Louis is picking Genny up, pinching at her chubby arms.

Genny lifts her hands up to her face, rubbing her eyes. As soon as she sees her daddy, her face lights up.

“See? Told you she wouldn’t care,”

Harry rolls his eyes, keeping his arms crossed. “Yeah, well, I do,”

Genny giggles, wrapping her arms around Louis’s neck. “Shit!” She mumbles, giggling the whole time.

Harry’s eyes widen, his jaw dropping at the fact that his daughter’s first word is a curse word. Louis laughs, throwing his head back. “Guess you can cancel that appointment,” He says, his shoulders shaking.

Harry sighs, walking toward the pair. He pulls Genny from Louis’s arms, holding her close to his chest. “Go downstairs and get in bed so I can put her back to sleep,” He instructs, watching as Louis frowns.

“I just want t’ see her, missed her,” He mutters, pouting.

“You’ll see her in the morning, Lou,” Harry says, taking his free hand and gently pushing Louis out of the room. Once Louis is in the hall, he shuts the door behind him, carrying Genny over to her glider.

He sits down, slowly rocking her. He can see her eyes getting heavy already, signaling that she’s fighting sleep.

“You can’t say that, darling, you’re gonna make daddy think something’s wrong,” Harry whispers, leaning his head against the back of the glider. He’s so tired, he needs to go to sleep. He needs extra rest now, even though he doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep.

Once Genny is lightly snoring in Harry’s lap, he carries her to her crib, settling her down. He runs his fingers through his curls, walking back downstairs.

Louis is not asleep, he’s sitting on the couch. “Why’d she say that? You don’t swear around her,” Louis mutters, taking a quick sip of his water.

Harry laughs nervously, shrugging. “It may have slipped out a couple of times today,” He mumbles, taking a seat beside Louis. Louis pulls Harry’s ankle onto his lap, lightly rubbing it.

“Why? ‘Cause your ankle was hurting?” He asks, resting his head against the back of the couch.

Harry fumbles with his fingers, breaking eye contact. He doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t want to lie to Louis. But is now the right time to tell him?

He seems like he’s a happy drunk tonight, so he might take the news better than Harry was hoping.

He just doesn’t want this to change anything, he doesn’t want Louis to freak out.

Yes, this is going to be hard to get through, but they’ll get through it. Harry has been thinking about it all night while Louis was gone, he’s trying to come to terms with it before he tells Louis.

Harry fakes a smile, taking a deep breath. “A-actually, I didn’t get the X-Ray,” Harry admits, his voice growing shaky with each passing word.

The silence in the room is loud, loud enough to make Harry’s throat tighten. He can tell Louis is confused, he can practically see the gears turning in his head.

“Why not?” Louis asks, his movements on Harry’s ankle halting.

Harry can hear his heartbeat in his head, he can feel his hands shaking. This isn’t how he pictured telling Louis the news. On the couch, one of them drunk, their baby asleep upstairs…

“Well, they ran a bunch of tests before doing the X-Ray, just to make sure everything was alright,” Harry explains, watching Louis nod. Louis has had enough X-Rays to know the procedure before getting one.

Sometimes they run blood tests, they ask you a bunch of questions, they do a pregnancy test if there’s a possibility you’re pregnant, they do a lot of things to make sure you’re healthy enough to get an X-Ray.

The worst possible scenario runs through Louis’s head.

Cancer?

Did they run a blood test and find something horribly wrong with Harry?

Louis has no idea what he would do if something was horribly wrong with Harry. What if something happened to Harry and Louis had to be a single dad? He couldn’t handle that, he would have no idea how to be a single dad!

What if Harry is seriously sick and he’s in pain? Louis wouldn’t be able to watch Harry fade away, in pain every single day for the rest of his life. It would kill Louis along with Harry.

What would Genny do? She’d have to grow up without a mum, she’d never be able to know her mother. Louis can’t imagine having to show pictures of Harry to Genny, explaining how he knew he loved Harry, how they fell in love.

Louis’s heart rate quickens, his throat tightening. He can feel his mind sober up immediately, no longer on a high. No, now he’s terrified. He has no idea what’s about to come out of Harry’s mouth.

Louis swipes his thumb over Harry’s ankle, attempting to calm both of them down. He can tell Harry is nervous, he’s never seen him like this before.

Well, that’s a lie.

Louis has seen him this nervous before.

He was this nervous when—

“I’m pregnant,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will have one more update today, and then at least one update every day of this week! It looks like this fic will be done on Saturday. 
> 
> I'm gonna take a break from writing for maybe a week or two, and then I'll start my next fic! Make sure you keep in touch through my twitter @Only_theangel!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading my fic and making my dream come true. It means everything! Dm me/Comment your thoughts on this chapter! 
> 
> How do you think Louis is going to react to this news? 
> 
> What do you think they should do?


	58. Chapter 58: Conteri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Selfish (SLOWED) / Madison Beer 
> 
> \- Love Me Or Love Me/ Little Mix 
> 
> \- Arcade/ Duncan Lawrence

Chapter 58: Conteri

Louis instantly freezes, the blood running cold through his veins. Suddenly, time has stopped. Louis can’t hear anything, all he sees is Harry in front of him, his lips moving.

Louis tries to take deep breaths, but he can’t. All he can do is think about what this means.

Harry is pregnant.

Pregnant.

Again.

Something that should be so joyous is seemingly more destructive than every storm Louis has ever lived through.

Harry reaches out, placing a gentle hand on Louis’s arm. He pulls his leg from Louis’s lap, planting his feet on the floor. He doesn’t want to be further away from Louis, but Louis looks like he’s about to flip out.

“Lou, please, say something,” Harry pleads, his eyes already filling with tears. Louis’s reaction is worse than Harry ever thought it would be.

He hadn’t expected this, he expected yelling, arguing, a small part of him expected a tiny bit of excitement.

But no, this is worse.

Because Harry can’t tell what Louis is thinking. Is he shocked? Is he upset? Is he regretting everything? Or is he just… Silently happy?

Louis snaps back to life, standing up from the couch. “You’re pregnant?” He asks, running his fingers through his hair.

Harry stays seated, his head tilted up to Louis. “I’m almost 4 months,” He explains. He hadn’t thought anything about missing his periods because his doctor warned him his period might be irregular after giving birth.

He should’ve been more careful, but that’s been the last thing on his mind. He’s been so busy with Genny, sex is something that he and Louis don’t get a lot of lately, so when they do, it’s quick and desperate.

Neither one thought about being careful.

Louis takes a deep breath, walking out of the living room. He walks into the kitchen, placing his hands on the kitchen island. He hangs his head, trying to steady his breathing.

Harry is pregnant.

With Louis’s child.

A month before Louis was supposed to go back to playing football.

A month before everything falls back into place.

A month before Louis starts to pursue his dream again.

How could this happen? No, they haven’t been careful, but Louis thought the doctor said Harry’s heat cycles wouldn’t be regular, so he didn’t worry about it. There were no signs that Harry was in heat, he didn’t think this could happen.

No, this can’t be a coincidence.

This had to be planned.

By Harry.

Louis chuckles dryly at the irony of it all, shaking his head. “Did you do this on purpose? ‘Cause you didn’t want me to go back?” He asks. He hates to ask, but it’s a valid question. There’s just no way this could all happen right now, after so long of it coming together.

Harry’s eyes widen, standing up now. He feels the rage taking over his body, the accusation sending him through a loop. Does Louis really think Harry planned this? He’d never do something like that, he’d never try to trap Louis! “No, of course not! I didn’t do this on—“

“And that’s why you proposed, right? So I couldn’t leave?”

Harry’s heart immediately drops, tears spilling out of his eyes. That’s certainly not the reason he proposed, he proposed because he loves Louis and wants to be with him for the rest of his life. He hadn’t even known he was pregnant when he proposed.

And Louis could still leave even if they’re engaged, but Harry doesn’t want him to, he wants him to stay. He’d be lost without Louis, he never wants to have to be without him.

He hadn’t expected this at all.

“You would leave me if I hadn’t proposed?” Harry asks, his voice failing him. Harry wants to appear strong, but he’s finding it hard. This is the second time in his life he’s gotten pregnant unexpectedly, both reactions weren’t exactly how he had hoped they’d be.

Louis keeps his head hung, shaking his head.

Of course, he doesn’t want to leave Harry. That’s not even a thought in his mind, but Louis feels like Harry was conspiring against him. He knows how much Louis was looking forward to going back to football, it’s all he’s been talking about since December.

Just when things were falling into place, Harry drops a huge bomb on Louis.

“I never wanted to be a dad in the first place, you know?” Louis mutters, more to himself than anything.

Yes, he loves being a dad now, but he never planned this. He was perfectly fine with being the fun uncle, never having to worry about college or curfews or anything.

Harry inhales a sharp breath, taking a step back until the back of his knees are touching the couch. It seems to be a recurring theme in their arguments, how Harry ‘forced’ him to be a father, even though they both know that’s not the case.

“How many times are you going to use that against me?” Harry asks, his voice quiet.

Louis snaps his head up, walking away from the kitchen island. He raises a finger to point at Harry, his hand shaking from the adrenaline. “As many times as you call Genny your daughter. Every time I don’t do something right, any time I want to do something for myself, any time I try to be a father to her, you make sure I know she’s not really mine. You make sure to say ‘my daughter’ every single chance you can,” Louis says, fighting back tears.

He knows Harry doesn’t mean it in that way, but it’s still hurtful. Louis feels like he’s earned the right to be called Genny’s father now, but Harry takes back that title every chance he can, just to show Louis his place.

Harry’s jaw drops, his eyebrows furrowing. He’s never intentionally done that, it’s just a phrase. In Harry’s mind, Louis is every bit of Genny’s father as Harry is her mother.

“How does that work? You never wanted to be a dad but you’re mad because I call our daughter ‘my daughter’? Pick a side, Louis! Either you want to be a dad or you don’t!” Harry shouts, his voice laced with pain and confusion.

Louis stays silent, bringing his hands up to his face and rubbing it.

“You’re going to tell me that you regret becoming a dad when our daughter smiles simply because you walked in the room? You’re going to tell me you regret your choice when all she wants is you? Louis, you’re her whole world, how dare you say you never wanted her.” Harry scolds, shaking his head.

Louis bites his lip, tearing his eyes away from Harry. He knows Harry is right, Genny loves him. She has no idea that he’s only her step-dad. To her, he’s just her dad. She’s his whole entire world now, he wouldn’t have it any other way, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he never planned any of this.

He doesn’t regret his daughter, he just wishes he had a choice in the matter.

“If I could go back, I wouldn’t change a thing, Harry. And you know that. I just wish…” He trails off.

“What? You wish what?” Harry interrupts.

“I just wish it had been my decision, alright? I feel like I had no choice but to step up. Y-You were all alone, you were terrified, you guilt-tripped me all the time—“

“Guilt-tripped you? Louis, I gave you so many chances to walk out, to walk away. And you took some of them, but you always came back. Tell me, how was it not your decision?” Harry says, lifting his hands to wipe away his tears.

Harry remembers many chances he gave Louis to choose what he wanted, each time Louis came back. In fact, he was so sure about his decision that he bought a ring on the way back. They both know Louis had a say in the decision.

Louis sighs, taking a seat on the couch. He can’t think straight anymore, his mind is clouded with past memories of football and interviews and practices. He buries his head in his hands, screwing his eyes shut.

In this moment, all he can see is his plans slipping away from him. How is he supposed to go back now? Harry won’t be able to fly if he’s pregnant, his doctor scolded him for that in the past pregnancy.

Louis can’t leave Harry alone to raise their daughter and a newborn.

He’d miss them all too much, it’d be too much for Harry to take on all alone.

But on the other hand…

Louis can see his life falling into place. He’s getting another child with the love of his life, how can he be upset about that? They’re financially stable, they’re good parents, everything is perfect.

And Genny is going to be such a good big sister, she’s going to be unbelievable.

Harry pushes his hair away from his face, watching Louis take deep breaths. He has no idea where to go from here, he doesn’t know what this means for them. They were doing so good, everything was so perfect.

They were so happy.

And Harry is happy. He’s happy about this baby whether or not Louis is. Harry’s always wanted a big family, his dreams are finally coming true.

And he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure Louis’s come true as well.

Louis deserves that much, especially after everything he’s done for Harry.

Harry sits down next to him, their knees bumping against each other. Louis doesn’t lift his head, so Harry rests his head on Louis’s shoulder.

“Louis, it’s gonna be alright, I promise. I’ll talk to my doctor and see if I can fly as long as I don’t have any complications. I’ll even drive if I have to, you’re going to get to go back,” Harry promises, his voice gentle.

He means it, he wants both of them to have their dreams come true.

Louis lifts his head, sniffling. His tears have dried up, but he’s still trying to catch his breath from yelling.

“You’d do that?” He asks, his voice quiet.

Harry nods, giving Louis a soft smile. “Absolutely. How many times have you given up on your dreams to help me out? I’ll be there every step of the way,” Harry reassures him, reaching his hand out to place it on Louis’s arm.

Louis uses his other hand to wipe his face, burying it deep in Harry’s curls afterwards. Harry rests his cheek on the inside of Louis’s hand, a smile still on his face.

“We’re really doing this, huh?” Louis asks, a small smile forming.

Harry nods, giggling quietly. “We’re really going to have 2 small kids flying on a plane,” Harry says.

Louis chuckles. “Fuck,” He breathes out, pulling Harry in for a kiss. The boy’s slot their soft lips together, meshing together. Harry breathes into the kiss, feeling as relief washes over his entire body.

Louis rubs Harry’s cheek with his thumb, pulling him impossibly closer. Harry smiles, pulling away.

“I can’t believe you’re 4 months, how could you not know?” Louis asks, his tone laced with disbelief.

Harry leans back against the couch, shaking his head. “I don’t know, I haven’t been sick or anything. But now, looking back, I guess I have been moodier than normal,” Harry says.

Louis glances over at Harry, giving him a half-smile. “And your sex drive has been insane,” He teases, earning a laugh from Harry.

When the laughter dies down, Harry immediately pouts. “I just started being able to fit back into my old jeans,” He whines.

Louis laughs this time, throwing an arm around Harry’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t even worry about that. I’d be more worried about whether or not Richard can handle another baby in the house,” Louis jokes, nodding over to the fireplace.

Richard is curled up in front, his tail tucked around his body.

He’s older now, but he’s still hanging on. Genny absolutely adores him, and Louis thinks deep down Richard adores her.

He just isn’t a fan of showing it.

Harry smiles again, staring at the sleeping cat. “Yeah, we’ll have to make up for it with gourmet cat food and several fluffy beds,” He says.

Louis’s gaze drops to Harry’s belly, searching for the belly he missed so much. Harry isn’t showing yet, but Louis is excited about seeing Harry pregnant again.

“Can’t believe we’re really doing this,” He mutters.

Harry smiles, resting his head on his shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else,”


	59. Chapter 59: Victoria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- Till Forever Falls Apart/ Ashe ft. FINNEAS
> 
> \- Someone New/ Hozier
> 
> I WILL UPDATE THE NEXT CHAPTER WHEN MY PINNED TWEET GETS 5 RTS! My twitter is @Only_theangel so if you want the chapter, make sure you rt it!

Chapter 59: Victoria

September 12

“Genny, you have to sit still, honey,” Harry urges, tugging on the back of her shirt as she ventures off further out of his grasp. She’s nearing 18 months now, meaning she is officially walking and talking. Louis and Harry are finding it harder to keep her still and contained.

And that would be perfectly fine if Harry wasn’t 7 months pregnant right now.

Now that Harry is almost to the end of his pregnancy, he can’t keep up with Genny like he used to. When Louis is at practice or at his games, Harry has to deal with Genny all by himself.

Anne chuckles beside Harry, reaching out to pull the energetic child onto her lap. “You’re just excited to watch daddy play, aren’t you, love?” She coos, brushing the curls away from Genny’s face.

Genny giggles and nods, pointing a chubby finger to the field where Louis is huddling with his team. Harry smiles to himself, shifting in his place on the bench. Thankfully, the heat of summer is fading away, so Harry can sit through the game comfortably.

Today is Louis’s first game back, so everyone is excited, but everyone is also nervous. Luckily, the first match is at home, so it wasn’t a huge hassle for the kids to come to the game this time. The next game is 2 hours away, so they’ll have to travel.

The doctor cleared Harry to fly as long as he doesn’t have any complications or feel any discomfort when flying.

So far, everything has been perfect with this pregnancy. There hasn’t been much morning sickness, he hasn’t been terribly moody, but he’s still miserable as his belly grows larger and larger each day.

Carrying around the extra weight while trying to keep up with an energetic toddler has proved harder than Harry ever thought it would be.

Harry keeps his eyes on Louis, watching him dribble the ball between his feet. They have less than 5 minutes before the match starts, he knows Louis has to be nervous. The past few months have consisted of Louis coming home late, leaving home early, and napping any chance he gets.

The adjustment was hard at first, Louis really struggled with not being as present as he wanted to be, but the adjustment hasn’t seemed to bother Genny at all. At first, she was fussy when Louis would have to leave, but that quickly faded once she realized he’d always come back at the end of the day.

“How’s Flynn doing in there?” Anne asks, hugging Genny to her chest.

Harry snaps back to reality, landing a soft hand on his growing belly. “He’s kicking, I think he’s got Genny beat for the most times they can kick mummy’s belly,” Harry chuckles.

When the pair found out they were having a boy, Louis couldn’t have been more excited. He would’ve loved the child either way, but he always pictured himself with a son. Louis took it upon himself to completely renovate the empty room, incorporating as many football-themed things as he could before Harry caught on.

Louis glances up at the bleachers, watching as Lottie sneaks past the crowd, taking her seat next to Harry. Of course, she’s late. Louis smiles to himself, shaking his head. He can’t believe he’s finally back to playing football.

He never thought he’d be able to have everything he ever wanted.

Football and a family.

“I knew she’d come,” Niall says, beaming up at the bleachers.

Louis fights back a gag, rolling his eyes. “She’s here for me, you twat,” He reminds Niall, turning to face him.

Thankfully, the romance between Lottie and Niall was short-lived, meaning Louis didn’t have to suffer for long. It’s been over for almost 3 months, but Niall still likes to give Louis a hard time about it.

Niall throws his head back, laughing. “You never know,” He sings, shutting his mouth as soon as Coach Moore comes over to them. Coach Moore claps Louis on the back, a beaming smile on his face.

“It’s good to have you back, Tomlinson. Go out there and prove everyone wrong,”

Louis smiles, giving him a hard nod. Shortly after coming back, Louis received a lot of criticism. Many people criticized him for taking so much time off, saying there was no way he could come back as good as he was before he left, and saying that it was a matter of time before he left again.

“He will, no doubt about that,” Niall praises, pulling Louis in for a hug. Louis thinks Niall was more excited about him coming back than Louis was. He isn’t thrilled about not getting his rooming buddy back, but he agreed to give his spot to Harry and the kids if it meant he’d get his best friend back on the team.

Louis looks up for one more moment of reassurance, needing to see his family. He takes a deep breath, his eyes scanning the crowd for his family. When he doesn’t find them, he starts to panic. He immediately looks to the clock, watching it count down from 60 seconds.

Where are they? They have 60 seconds to get back in their seats to watch kickoff.

Louis frowns, directing his attention to a moving blob across the field. Once his vision focuses, a smile spreads on his face.

“Just wanted to come down and wish you good luck,” Harry smiles, propping Genny up on his hip. It’s a little difficult with his belly in the way, but her legs were too short to get to the field on time.

Louis presses a quick kiss to his fiancé’s dimple, resting his hand on Genny’s back. “‘M nervous,” He whispers, leaning in to give Genny’s head a kiss.

Harry nods, a sympathetic smile on his face. He knows Louis isn’t normally this nervous before a game, it’s only because he’s been out of it for so long. He feels guilty for taking away Harry’s dream for so long, but it all worked out in the end.

“You’re gonna be amazing, Lou,” Harry says, instantly calming Louis down.

The roar of the crowd increases, signaling it’s time to go. Louis leans in for one more quick kiss, this time, landing on Harry’s soft lips.

He jogs backward for a while, before turning around to run to the starting line. Harry quickly moves off the field, making his way back up to the crowd. Just as he gets settled back in, he watches as Louis kicks the ball, officially starting the game.

For the next 88 minutes, Harry watches the match as he tries to keep his fussy daughter entertained, failing miserably to do so. Anne tries to do her best to console the child, but she’s in one of those moods where it seems like the only thing she wants is Louis.

That wouldn’t be a problem if Louis wasn’t finishing up his first match back.

Louis tries to focus on the game, he does. He should be focusing on the game, it’s currently tied 1-1. He knows he’s not the only one who doesn’t want to go to overtime, so he really should be focusing.

But he can’t because his daughter needs him. He can hear her over the screams of the crowd, the shout of Coach Moore, the insults from the other team, and the urging from Niall. He hates when his daughter cries, all he wants to do is go over to her and make it better for her.

He knows that’s all it would take, he’d just have to hold her for a couple of minutes.

But he doesn’t have a couple of minutes, he has 2 minutes until the game ends.

Louis currently has an open goal, meaning he could kick the ball straight in the goal and win the game for the entire team.

But all he can do right now is stand in place, watching as Harry struggles to contain the cries. Harry digs through her diaper bag to find snacks, but none of them seem to be appetizing to her.

Louis looks back at the clock, watching as it nears 30 seconds.

“LOUIS! What are you doing?” Niall asks, struggling to keep the opposing team at bay.

Suddenly, Louis snaps back, remembering that he can’t focus on being a father right now, he has to focus on the game. If he wins this game, he can go straight to his daughter when he’s finished.

Louis instantly starts running, swinging his leg back, then forward again, until he’s watching the ball fly into the goal.

As soon as the point goes up on the board, his teammates tackle him to the ground, congratulating him.

They’ve won.

Because of Louis.

Louis has won his first game back.

Louis revels in the huddle, laughing as the boys poke and prod at him, cheering him on. But before he can enjoy it too long, he is reminded of his crying daughter.

Louis wrangles out of the hands of the team, jogging toward the bleachers. He pushes past the crowd of people trying to grab him, keeping his eyes on his family.

Harry stares at Louis, an apologetic smile on his face. He knows Louis wasn’t able to focus on the game because of Genny and he tried his best to calm her down, he really did.

Louis instantly brings Genny to his arms, shushing her gently. “Someone’s grumpy today,” Louis mutters, trying to soothe the child by rubbing her back.

“I’m sorry, I tried to calm her down, she just wanted you—“

“You don’t have to apologize, Harry, it’s not your fault,” Louis reassures him, watching as his daughter sniffles as she calms down. Her cheeks are red and her eyes are swollen from her tantrum, Louis knows she’ll need a nap soon to recover.

Harry hoists the diaper bag on his shoulder, resting his hand on his tummy. He doesn’t know how he’s going to be able to manage two babies, especially when Louis will still have 6 months left of the season.

Louis has offered to hire a live-in nanny, but that would be hard, considering they’re never home. Harry also doesn’t like the idea because he wants to take care of his kids, no matter how difficult it may be at certain times.

He knows they can do it, it will just be hard.

But they’ve always been able to overcome the hard things in their relationship.

The family moment is interrupted when James comes over to them. He’s laughing, hooking his arm around Harry’s shoulder. “What are you waiting on, Lou? You still haven’t gotten your boy a ring?” James teases, making Harry blush.

He knows James means no harm, all the boys love to give Louis a hard time about being such a family man.

Louis chuckles, shaking his head. He shifts Genny to his other arm, freeing up his left hand. He raises it, showing off his engagement band. “No, he got me one, actually,” Louis explains.

James raises an eyebrow, turning his head to look at Harry. “Ahh, bravo, H. I respect it,” He teases, removing his arm.

“He was taking too long, I had to!” Harry defends.

James smiles, reaching out a hand to lightly pinch Genny’s now pink cheeks. The child cowers in her dad’s arms, not quite sure about the stranger. “Does this mean we all get an invite to the wedding?”

Louis nods. “You know it,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, WE HAVE ONE MORE CHAPTER... BUT
> 
> the next chapter isn't exactly a chapter... I don't want to spoil too much, but TECHNICALLY, this was the last full chapter. 
> 
> I'm incredibly thankful for every single read and I can't wait for what the next fic brings us!


	60. Chapter 60: Memoriae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> \- You're Still The One/ Shania Twain

Chapter 60: Memoriae

2 years later

“GENNY! Stop running from me!” Louis shouts, sliding down the hallway. The hallway is slick with soap and water, thanks to Genny taking it upon herself to jump out of the tub while Louis had his back turned.

Genny giggles, wrapping the towel around her like a cape, not bothering to slow down for her poor dad.

As soon as Louis realized Genny decided to run off, he jerked Flynn out of the tub, carrying him while chasing down his sister. Thankfully, they only have one wild child, because Louis doesn’t know if he could handle two.

Especially since he's starting up the new season of football soon. 

After a couple more seconds of sliding around the house, trying to shout at Genny while Flynn’s laughter fills his ears, Louis looks over at Harry, who’s sitting at his desk with Richard on his lap.

“A little help here, babe?” Louis asks, exhausted from his endeavors.

Harry barely glances up from the scrapbook, smoothing the latest picture down on the page. “Oh, you know I’d love to help, but I’m a little busy,” Harry mutters, focusing his attention back on the page.

He’s been gathering pictures from the past two years, organizing them in a scrapbook. He thought it was quite hypocritical of him to be a photographer but to have barely any photos of him and his family, so he decided to do something about that.

His hands run over the first picture, memories popping up in his head.

Louis took that picture the first time Genny actually got along with Flynn. She spent the first few months of her life jealous over the attention her new brother was getting, but she warmed up to him about 5 seconds before this picture was taken.

Harry’s eyes go to the next picture, tears filling his eyes as he realizes just how amazing his life has been lately. He had waited so long for his life to be perfect, never fully realizing that you can’t wait around for something like that.

It’s often that you miss out on all of the great moments waiting for your life to be perfect.

Harry remembers taking this picture when Genny first realized her mummy’s nails were painted. She decided then and there that she wanted daddy to paint her nails, too.

Picture after picture, Harry’s heart fills with love and warmth as he looks back on his life. He’s had a lot of hard times, so has Louis. Even together, they’ve gone through seemingly impossible things.

But together, they overcame them.

Harry’s never been more thankful that Love Conquers All Things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> WOW
> 
> I hope you liked how the story turned out, I put everything I had into this. If you've read the whole thing, or even just a chapter, THANK YOU. I never imagined I would have a fic that had almost 8k reads on it. I've enjoyed every second of it and I can't wait to start a new fic. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think! As Harry said, I am available always !


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